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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Why Women Lie. . . (2653 Views)
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Why Women Lie. . . by EfemenaXY: 4:16pm On Aug 14, 2010 |
The Seamstress One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?" The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with pearls. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked The seamstress replied, "No." The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a silver thimble ringed with sapphires. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, "No." The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "Yes." The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy. Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?" "Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!" The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. "Is this your husband?" the Lord asked. "Yes," cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious."You lied! That is an untruth!" The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt. Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney." And so the Lord let her keep him. |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by EfemenaXY: 4:17pm On Aug 14, 2010 |
The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it. |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by ElementG(m): 4:25pm On Aug 14, 2010 |
dat makes sense, at least women are on d right track for once only dat they cant do dat unless deception comes in |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by EfemenaXY: 4:39pm On Aug 14, 2010 |
^^hehehe |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by ElementG(m): 4:47pm On Aug 14, 2010 |
na d truth now, thank God self say u too be woman |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by Nobody: 8:37pm On Aug 14, 2010 |
Wow, that was a sensible lie. And if it was Brad Pitt, I might take the chance to lie too. |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by EfemenaXY: 8:48pm On Aug 14, 2010 |
<sighs> girl, I know what you mean jor! What's the name of the movie he starred in - where he played the part of a greek warrior archilles?? Now that is what I call S.exy to death!! |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by Nobody: 8:58pm On Aug 14, 2010 |
I think the title was "Troy". He is really adorable. |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by EfemenaXY: 9:05pm On Aug 14, 2010 |
Yeah!! That's the title and you're right - he was CUTE! |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by Vic2k3(m): 9:07pm On Aug 14, 2010 |
Passing by |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by EfemenaXY: 9:45pm On Aug 14, 2010 |
:-x :-x :-x |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by EfemenaXY: 11:33pm On Aug 18, 2010 |
THIS HAS BEEN WRITTEN BY A MAN, and I think a very smart man. . This is for all you girls 30 years and over, and for those who are turning 30, and for those who are scared of moving into their 30's, AND for guys who are scared of girls over 30!!!!, A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting. A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what sh! e wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing. Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 30 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30. They always know. A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by EfemenaXY: 11:33pm On Aug 18, 2010 |
Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately,it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize[b] it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.[/b] |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by Vic2k3(m): 6:53am On Aug 19, 2010 |
^^All that is true, but i don't it's a joke. |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by EfemenaXY: 8:00am On Aug 19, 2010 |
^^ True, 'tis mostly factual. . . but then again depends on how you look at it - esp. the last couple of paragraphs |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by Okijajuju1(m): 8:15am On Aug 19, 2010 |
Efe!! Efe!! EfE!! How many times I call you?!! Tell me the truth, the whole truth, undiluted, unadulterated, unabridged, unmodified, untainted truth!! ARE YOU MORE THAN 30?!! [size=4pt]cos wetin you tell me na under-21.[/size] |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by Vic2k3(m): 8:18am On Aug 19, 2010 |
Its nothing of concern 2 u |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by Okijajuju1(m): 8:19am On Aug 19, 2010 |
^^^^ Stay out of this!! This na family matter!! |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by Vic2k3(m): 8:22am On Aug 19, 2010 |
Look i no dey fear ur juju o! Get out of my house |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by EfemenaXY: 8:25am On Aug 19, 2010 |
Okija_juju: Hehehe OJ - so you don wake?? Oya go the confessions thread - need to hear all your confessions Ben re-open that thread specially for you **Nor too worry 'bout my age - I'm whatever age you fantasize me to be. . .** |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by Okijajuju1(m): 8:28am On Aug 19, 2010 |
^^^ Your house?!! Wetin my Efe dey do for your house?! I don warn you say wetin the gods don cellotape, make ordinary man no try divide am o!! Efemena_xy: Fantasize ko, Cokekasize abi Oversize ni. This matter no get anything to d with fanta, I dey ask you again; Efe!! you show me fake birth certificate?! |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by Vic2k3(m): 8:31am On Aug 19, 2010 |
Look man if u don't disappear within 5 secs i will call 911 |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by EfemenaXY: 8:35am On Aug 19, 2010 |
Okija_juju: OJ, you never hear?? Your sister don marry - so yes, show some respect for my husband now. . . Vic2k3: OJ he's right, I've flown the nest - you've always known that ur sister go marry 1 day - abi u nor know?? |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by Okijajuju1(m): 8:36am On Aug 19, 2010 |
Vic2k3: See yourself!! You wan call police for me yet you dey dail wrong number. You no even know say them no dey use that their NITEL line again. You think say I dey fear police?! Oya collect police MTN number call; 0803736123098, if that one dey busy tell me I go give you their Zain & Glo number I dey wait dem O. |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by Okijajuju1(m): 8:39am On Aug 19, 2010 |
Osanobua!! Efe!! Marry!! Fly!! Chai!! Oghene Biko!! My own don pkafuka!! So na so our luv take expire?! Efe |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by Vic2k3(m): 8:39am On Aug 19, 2010 |
I tink calling the police was a goof on ma part. Oya commot b4 i smack u down |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by EfemenaXY: 8:45am On Aug 19, 2010 |
Okija_juju: Na u fall your hand - Go back to Kunbee and be happy e don tey wen Efe move on to greener pastures Vic2k3: Baby pls don't - the guy's heart broken. . .show a 'lil mercy pls. . . |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by Okijajuju1(m): 8:50am On Aug 19, 2010 |
Vic2k3: ^^^ That na where I dey laugh you!! No prize market wey you no fit buy o! You think say I dey fear chest!! Initial gra-gra no dey win fight o!! I don tell you say make you rest, say na me and my chocomilo get matter, you wan carry your salt come pour for my bounvita. Take time O!! Na elders talk say "No matter the weight of elephant, E no fit stand earthquake o!!". I don tell u! |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by Okijajuju1(m): 8:53am On Aug 19, 2010 |
Efemena_xy: So all that beg wey I beg you, na voicemail all of them enter?! |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by EfemenaXY: 8:53am On Aug 19, 2010 |
Seriously OJ Abeg come the Off-topic chat pls I nor want make Ben lock this thread |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by Vic2k3(m): 8:54am On Aug 19, 2010 |
I see u wan book 1st class for hell bound plane. oya 4 d last time ouuuuuttttttttt!!!!! |
Re: Why Women Lie. . . by EfemenaXY: 8:55am On Aug 19, 2010 |
OJ Off-topic now (pls). . . |
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