Many parents still adopt antics to persuade their wards to maintain chastity. When they were growing up their parents told them to avoid being touched (not in the literary sense) by male folks, because if they do, they will get pregnant. That was what worked then; if at all it worked then. But not any more. Today's children are wiser than you can imagine. Quite a lot has changed; unfortunately parents are still employing old methods to confront new challenges. Parents are better be aware that it's difficult to live in the days we live now than in the days they grew up. There were no social media; there were no internet connectivity; there were no mobile phones; and issues relating to LGBT were not common place. In the days we live in now, one can go about his innocent business online and have a nude picture pop up on the screen. It will take discipline not to follow up such a link, especially for the male folks. The use of free email address usually exposes internet surfers to this. Sometimes these nude pictures pop up on WhatsApp group pages. Little wonder, the scriptures raised the alarm about the days we now live in. Many parents, rather than talk to their wards, lie to them. Lying will achieve nothing. Rather, it will reduce your worth before the children. Role modelling does not imply perfection. Sincerity is required, not lying. Some parents would lie of their academic strides, only for their wards to find out the truth later. This won't help. Don't lie to your wards, come out plain to them. Tell them, if you're a Christian, how you sometimes struggle to pray. Let them know you have dosed off reading the Bible. Tell them some of your struggles and you overcame them. Don't tell them you married as a virgin when you didn't. Don't lie to them, your sincerity will win them.

There is usually this covert presentation of sex from the pulpit that it (sex) is bad. It is usually presented as being evil. Sincere parents have bought into this and presented sex to their wards in the same fashion. That does not align with the truth. Preachers and parents tend to forget that some of these children have first-hand experiences to rebuff the claim that sex is bad or evil. Some of them have learnt from masturbation the bliss that comes with a cum. Some have had a fore-taste of sex: cuddling, handling, smooching, necking, kissing, and they know the pleasure derived. So, to tell them that the main act, sex, is evil is self-deceiving. Sex is good! It's pleasurable; that's the truth, take it or leave it. Nobody can be tempted with something that is not attractive, appealing, or enticing to him. Let the children know it's God that created sex, not the devil! The devil has nothing good in stock. He has only got perversions. Young Christians should be made to also understand that the sexual urge they've got is not the devil's. They should be helped to understand that sexual urges are not sinful either. Equip them with the truth. The fact that they have sexual urge shows that they are normal human beings. It is an indicator they are perfectly normal. It is human, and no less spiritual, to feel that way. Please, help them with the truth. What then is the truth?

One, sex is good! God authored it. "Every good and perfect gift comes from the Father." Sex is one of those good things! This is no heresy. One clergy describes sex as the highest physical pleasure ever known to man. What a submission!

There is, however, a caveat: that something is good does not imply it is right. Two illustrations can be helpful. One, as good as breast milk is for a babies, one would think it is right for a 30 year old, isn't it? Of course, not! Two, one euphoric about-to-wed lady goes to work in a wedding gown. What would you think of such a lady? As good, desirable and beautiful a wedding gown is, it is no suitable and appropriate costume for the workplace. It is therefore imperative to make an apparent distinction between what is good and right. Sex is good, but for the unmarried, it isn't right. There is a scriptural embargo on sex for the unmarried. Sex is designed to be enjoyed and useful within the confine of the marriage institution.

Three, staying chaste is possible. Many assume when this is said, it means it is easy. 'Possible' and 'easy' should not be misconstrued. Didn't the scriptures say that, with God all things are possible? What it didn't say is that, with God all things are easy. Admittedly, it is not easy to control one's sexual urges, noted one publication. The hormonal changes of puberty inevitably result in "accompanying increases in sexual impulses." However, even with the inevitability of sexual urges, it is possible to stay chaste, stay pure, and stay uncontaminated, irrespective of the odds.

Four, let them know they can have help when they need it. Let them know you can help them. Let them know God can help them. Let them know no aspect of their lives is outside the scope of God's concern. Let them know they can go to the throne of grace, obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. The rendition in The Message Bible makes a beautiful reading: "We do not have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He's been through weakness and testing, experienced it all (without sin). So let's walk right up to him and get (the help) he is so ready to give." Wow! What a word and promise that can be depended on absolutely.

Five, for those among them filled with the Holy Ghost (Spirit) already, they should be reminded they are not immune from having sexual urge. They have to come to an awareness that speaking in tongues, fasting, or prayer will not repress sexual urge. In the event of an imminent sexual sin, all they have to do is to flee. The earlier they come to terms with the fact that they cannot be wiser than the scriptures, the better. Didn't the scriptures warn to flee every appearance of evil! We are also to flee fornication. And to a youth like them,Timothy, he was warned to flee every youthful lust. With youthfulness comes attendant lusts, but the scriptures assured us one can overcome these inevitable lusts by fleeing them. Fleeing could imply avoiding some movies totally. It could mean not reading some contents. It could mean not seeing a lady in a remote area, compromising places, or dark spots all alone. Certain things can't happen under certain situations. It could also mean not sharing the same room with a lady. One can probably resist once or twice and not survive the third. Remember Samson?And to every scriptural injunction, he gives us examples. So, for the instruction to flee fornication and every appearance of evil, he gave us Joseph.

Six, every act, sex included, begins with a thought. It is however dangerous to harbor and accommodate the thought for so long. It is more dangerous still to resist or fight thoughts with thoughts. Thoughts are to be fought or resisted with words. The temptations of Jesus were thoughts amplified as though physical actions or conversations going on in the mind of Jesus. However, for each of the thoughts nested in his mind, he verbally responded by saying, "It is written." Of course, he got nothing short of a victory in this encounter.

In the event of a mistake, it can be very painful. It can be such a trying moment, especially for parents who have high expectations of their children. Suffice to say, nobody can empathize with them enough. Being that as it may, the decision taken afterwards can be detrimental or beneficial. It is usually the case to have a teenager married off in the event of a mistake. She is pregnant; and as a result, she has to jettison her future. What parents in this position should realize is that a mistake can be turned around depending how it is managed. First, it begins with an understanding that a mistake is no doom. Admittedly, it won't be easy, and nobody is suggesting so. A mistake can be redeemed. That a lady is pregnant for a guy doesn't mean they should be married, given the unique circumstances, however. Some ladies have risen from such a mistake, married someone else, and have gone on to become no less successful in life.

Parenting in the 21st Century comes with a lot of responsibilities and one must prepare for the enormity of the task, God supplying the grace.

http://olabanjititles..com/2019/02/valentine-few-words-to-parents-on-sex_41.html?m=1

A "few words" and then you type this long essay.

Lol