DAFTNESS

This blonde wanted a haircut, so she goes to the hair sylist and says, "I want a haircut." The sylist says, "Sure, but only if you'll take off your headphones." The blonde replies, "If I do, I will die" and proceeds to walk out of the salon. So, the blond and the sylist have similar conversation for a few more days. Then the blond comes in again, and asks for a haircut. The hair sylist says again that she would have to take off the headphones. Blonde then again replies that she would die if she did. So, the hair sylist just goes up to the blonde and takes off her headphones. The blonde dies. The hair sylist listens to what was playing on her headphones, and she hears "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out."

Bros we don see dis joke before - but still funny sha

OMG! could someone be dat daft dat u need lecture on how to breathe in and breathe out

The Growler

Scotsman is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt.

Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs.

To his delight, he realises she has gone without underwear.

The blonde realises he is staring and inquires, "Are you looking at my growler?" "Yes, I'm sorry, " says the Scotsman and promises to avert his eyes.

"It's quite alright," replies the woman, "It's very talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you."

Sure enough the growler blows him a kiss.

Wee Hughie, who is completely absorbed, inquires what else the growler can do.

"I can also make it wink, " says the woman.

The Scotsman stares in amazement as the growler winks at him.

"Come and sit next to me," suggests the woman, patting the seat.

The Scotsman moves over and is asked, "Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?"

Stunned, The Scotsman replies, "Good grief! Can it whistle, too?"

That nice  

Never heard the joke b/4 - but erm, breathing is a reflex action though isn't it?  

not something u can really control  

vicks abeg, no let all d girls wey dey dis forumn ambush u oo

Efemena_xy:

That nice  

Never heard the joke b/4 - but erm, breathing is a reflex action though isn't it?  

not something u can really control  

hmm dats true, but at d same time u can actually hold ur breath, breathing is kinda different in terms of being reflex compared to d heart beats, anyway dont let us turn dis place to science class, so lets stick to d joke

Vicks ur d best

NOTHING FOR THE CHRISTMAS


A woman goes into a tattoo parlour and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh just below her bikini line. She also wants him to put "Happy Thanksgiving" under the turkey.

So the guy does it and it comes out looking really good. The woman then instructs him to put a Santa tattoo with "Merry Christmas" up on her left thigh.

So the guy does it and it comes out looking good, too. As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist asks, "If you don't mind, could you tell me why you had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?"

She says "I'm sick and tired of my husband complaining all the time that there's nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas!"

^^Lol!!

Nice 1 Vicks - keep 'em coming in pls,

Vic2k3:

NOTHING FOR THE CHRISTMAS


A woman goes into a tattoo parlour and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh just below her bikini line. She also wants him to put "Happy Thanksgiving" under the turkey.

So the guy does it and it comes out looking really good. The woman then instructs him to put a Santa tattoo with "Merry Christmas" up on her left thigh.

So the guy does it and it comes out looking good, too. As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist asks, "If you don't mind, could you tell me why you had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?"

She says "I'm sick and tired of my husband complaining all the time that there's nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas!"

hmm vicks which one be dat one again ooo

Weekend jokes indeed.

U try bro

Tnx bro

for where u see dis jokes, i swear i don dey laugh since when u post am,
still laughing as he speaks

4 hydrogen's house(ur son)

, dats true, d joke just flows in our blood

See u see jokenapping.

hmmmm

Wow! Its ben ages that I visited the jokes Section! It feels kinda strange especially seeing my cutey's Dani and Ben up there

Vic, good job on the jokes. Keep up the good work

Gabry!!! How're u doing?

Gab!
Chai - african oyinbo

Vic2k3:

Gabry!!! How're u doing?

Im doing fine. How your side?

Studio CFR:

Gab!
Chai - african oyinbo

U no go greet me abi?

Greetings to you all. I come in peace.

chijoman:

Greetings to you all. I come in peace.

Peace be with you dear.

Am new to dis place. I feel lonely.

Lol e go better

chijoman:

Am new to dis place. I feel lonely.

Dont feel so. Am here sweety

Thanks 4 the encouragement from u guys. Any gist?

chijoman:

Thanks 4 the encouragement from u guys. Any gist?

yes there is.

Studio just got married to his 3rd wife today and Vic2k3 got a Mohawk hairstyle to be Studio's Best man at the wedding today. Cool eh?

Gabry:

yes there is.

Studio just got married to his 3rd wife today and Vic2k3 got a Mohawk hairstyle to be Studio's Best man at the wedding today. Cool eh?

This is serious

Gabry:

yes there is.

Studio just got married to his 3rd wife today and Vic2k3 got a Mohawk hairstyle to be Studio's Best man at the wedding today. Cool eh?

AT THE CHICAGO CONFERENCE

A man had to attend a large convention in Chicago. On this particular trip he decided to bring his wife. When they arrived at their hotel and were shown to their room, the man said: "You rest here while I register - I'll be back within an hour."

The wife lies down on the bed, just then, an elevated train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she's thrown out of the bed. Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more. Again a train shakes the room so violently, she's pitched to the floor.

Exasperated, she calls the front desk, asks for the manager. The manager says he'll be right up. The manager (naturally) is sceptical but the wife insists the story is true.

"Look,, lie here on the bed - you'll be thrown right to the floor!"

So he lies down next to the wife, Just then the husband walks in. "What," he says, "are you doing here?"

The manager replies: "Would you believe I'm waiting for a train?"

Vic2k3:

AT THE CHICAGO CONFERENCE

A man had to attend a large convention in Chicago. On this particular trip he decided to bring his wife. When they arrived at their hotel and were shown to their room, the man said: "You rest here while I register - I'll be back within an hour."

The wife lies down on the bed, just then, an elevated train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she's thrown out of the bed. Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more. Again a train shakes the room so violently, she's pitched to the floor.

Exasperated, she calls the front desk, asks for the manager. The manager says he'll be right up. The manager (naturally) is sceptical but the wife insists the story is true.

"Look,, lie here on the bed - you'll be thrown right to the floor!"

So he lies down next to the wife, Just then the husband walks in. "What," he says, "are you doing here?"

The manager replies: "Would you believe I'm waiting for a train?"

nice one vicks, keep'em coming