Hi People,

Its been two years to be precise that I have wanted to post this, but within me, the same epileptic move I always try to make in getting a DNA test done on my son. My mind has been pondering to go for a test,and my body keeps saying no. I have core and unselfish reasons to, though I dont want to go into details because after two children and years in marriage, will I now let go if I found out that my son could not be biological mine? But then my mind also keep telling me that, if u do this test and he is yours, a hole will be permanently drilled in my heart for betraying my son and not trusting my wife. But then like I said, it is like I hear voice at most times to go ahead and do this thing, for two years now am procrastinating. Experienced married people here, kindly advise, because sometimes one cant do this alone, when you are not sure its God that is speaking to you, attimes you can exract your final decision from strings of real and truthful advice here. I trust my mystery starts being over from this second.

I can count 9 people I know personally that discovered their kids weren't theirs . Nine. One nearly killed himself. I mean for a thirty year old daughter o.

Follow your heart. You've done so many things for your family that they dont even know about. Add this to the list. Do it codedly. Else you will always have second thoughts and you might mistakenly rant one day spoiling the whole thing. So do am. If he turns out to be yours throway the result and move on. If not you know what to do. Just clear your heart.

My advice o.

Go ahead and do the DNA test and clear your doubts once and for all
Statistics have shown that most first born of a man are not his (Lol)

But you will have to leave with the consequences, your marriage may never be the same if the child happens to be Yours
Because you guys will definitely be having trust issues within your marriage

If your heart is so burdened over it then in my opinion, I think you should go ahead and do the test. When you do it and you find out he is indeed your son your heart will be at rest. But if you find out that he isn't, then another issue because you will have to explain to your wife that you did not trust her all these years. But if you have loved this boy as you should have, will you be able to let go of him?
A Yoruba adage says "The person that raised you is greater than the person that gave birth to you" and I think it's right. But then you really should just go ahead with the test. If he is your son then that should be a relief. Cheers

Do the results if you have serious doubts, I just helped a friend to Cross check if own Vs his 70 year old dad

do it,
if he is your son, the matter dies.
if he isn't then you know what to do.
meanwhile if you have doubts as to his that presupposes that yoou think your wife committed adultery.
gather your proof and decide if you can live with her or not

choice17:
Go ahead and do the DNA test and clear your doubts once and for all
Statistics have shown that most first born of a man are not his (Lol)

But you will have to leave with the consequences, your marriage may never be the same if the child happens to be Yours
Because you guys will definitely be having trust issues within your marriage

Can I have the link to the statistics please?

But how much is the DNA test here in Nigeria?

fieryy:


Can I have the link to the statistics please?

https://www.thisdaylive.com/index.php/2018/11/08/why-paternity-fraud-in-nigeria-is-second-highest-globally/?amp

https://www.africanexponent.com/post/9156-there-are-reports-claiming-nigeria-has-the-second-highest-rate-of-paternity-fraud-in-the-world

3 in 10 Nigerian kids do not belong to their supposed Fathers.

Thanks peeps, we'll continue tomorrow.

Every man deserves to know if the child/ren a woman presents to him as his; is/are actually his. Irrespective of whether you have been married for 1 year or 50 years you still need to know if your child/ren is/are biologically yours. From your write-up, it appears your wife has given you grounds to be suspicious; hence, don’t feel guilty of trying to know if you kid/s is/are yours. As you are having doubts, I will advise you to go ahead and do the DNA of the child and if you have other children, also get their DNA test done to be absolutely sure you are their biological father. If it turns out that they are yours then all good; but if it turns out that they are not yours then you’ll decide how you want to proceed with the news; whether to confront your wife or keep the news to yourself, that’s entirely your call. Going forward, any further child/ren born into your household by your wife, do a DNA test on the child/ren to avoid crying over spilt milk. All the best!

Mille:


https://www.thisdaylive.com/index.php/2018/11/08/why-paternity-fraud-in-nigeria-is-second-highest-globally/?amp

https://www.africanexponent.com/post/9156-there-are-reports-claiming-nigeria-has-the-second-highest-rate-of-paternity-fraud-in-the-world

3 in 10 Nigerian kids do not belong to their supposed Fathers.

Really? Your "statistics" is based on what someone posted on Twitter and what another said, with no proof to how the study was made, which countries were involved, who analyzed it and what it was based on?

fieryy:


Really? Your "statistics" is based on what someone posted on Twitter and what another said, with no proof to how the study was made, which countries were involved, who analyzed it and what it was based on?

Somehow you chose to ignore vitually the others and just focus on the "Twitter statistic"

You deliberately chose to ignore the Nigerian centre which says at least one of four DNA test conducted at its premises turns out negative.

You chose to ignore the "Durex study" which suggested Nigerian women as the most unfaithful wives. You chose to ignore the Forensic geneticist as well as that one from LASUTH.


Please don't take my post as an attack on Nigerian women. I'd gladly take them over the many other women out there. But with the things I know and I've seen, I'd be damned if I don't do a DNA test on my supposed kids BEFORE they are born.

Mille:


Somehow you chose to ignore vitually the others and just focus on the "Twitter statistic"

You deliberately chose to ignore the Nigerian centre which says at least one of four DNA test conducted at its premises turns out negative.

You chose to ignore the "Durex study" which suggested Nigerian women as the most unfaithful wives. You chose to ignore the Forensic geneticist as well as that one from LASUTH.

Dear Mille,

I didn't choose to ignore anything. I said one was based on a claim on Twitter and the other one based on what someone said.

"In a phone interview with Ventures Africa, Mr Ayodele Ayodeji of Paternity Test Nigeria said there is one case of paternity fraud out of every four paternity test conducted at the centre. 'I will say one out of four paternity tests turn out negative,' he told me."

First of all, the only people who will go for paternity tests are those who ALREADY suspect that a child is not theirs. Apart from the ridiculous fact of it being a PHONE interview, it was based on ONE centre, out of the many in the state, out of the many in the country and out of the many in the world.
Or should we just ignore the fact that it was based on what he said, probably his assumption with no numbers to underline his claim?


"According to a forensic geneticist, Dr. Abiodun Salami, 30 per cent of fathers are unknowingly nurturing and investing in children who are not biologically theirs."

Where is the STUDY?! What was it based on? Where did it take place?
Or are we just going to claim it as a fact because one nobody forensic geneticist in NIGERIA says so?

Durex survey suggested that Nigerian women are the most unfaithful in the world and a DNA expert from Lagos University Teaching Hospital claimed that 30% of Nigerian men are not the biological father of all the children."

Your Durex SURVEY (not study like you said) is based on 29,000 people (out of the ca.  7.5 BILLION in the world) from 36 different countries (out of 195 countries in the world). Lmaooooooo

See, I'm no brainer when it comes to Maths, but even I know that the more people you ask, the more accurate the results will be.
However, in this case participants are chosen without a statistically valid sample of the population and it is not even close to being representative. We don't even know how many of those 29, 000 people were Nigerians.
Or is it a Chinese man, who has never left China in his life before that'll claim Nigerian women are the most unfaithful, lmaooo


"Without official figures, it will be hard to see whether Nigeria ranks second in the world in this regard. It could be fact. It could be fiction. It could be a myth. Or, the manifestations of a patriarchal society trying to switch the narrative of cheating and infidelity to women."

Even the author of the post acknowledged the inaccuracy of these "claims".

"Please don't take my post as an attack on Nigerian women. I'd gladly take them over the many other women out there."

Before nko? Who else will take you? Lmaooo

Something must have led to the doubt you are having

Just tell your wife that you will like to run a DNA on your son

From the look of things, trust is where you guys have issues

If you can afford a DNA test it will put you mind at peace

If its your child goodluck and if he is not your child then ask her who's child is he because one day the father will come for that child, unless he is not aware

And if the result if favourable to you, tell her why you did the test and tell her you are sorry about the doubt by taking her for a shopping

But I maintained that something much have triggered you to think that way

fieryy:


Before nko? Who else will take you? Lmaooo

Lmao. I see you are also in Deutschland. Come and say it to my face

This is a newspaper article. Of course, they are not going to quote all centres or research like a scientific study but I do understand your point that there needs to be a definite study. But I agree with the study.

I'm also sure many heads will be rolling if Nigerian men decide to conduct DNA tests on their firstborns, especially those that married because of the said pregnancy.

Why live in doubts/ fear when you can know the Truth once and for all?

Take the child's toothbrush, go to a DNA center and get the test done . Since its not for embassy or legal issues, it's even cheaper and faster.

Big question is, can you handle the Truth if and when you find out the child is not yours?

frozen70:
Something must have led to the doubt you are having

Just tell your wife that you will like to run a DNA on your son

I wonder why men feel there is a need to tell the women before a DNA test is conducted, not even with the way technology has advanced in the last years.

Just take the child for a routine "blood test" or take a mouth swab when you take the kids out or simply just take the cup the child drinks from to any DNA centre. No arguments, no noise, no one needs to know anything and you finally get that peace of mind, well unless the test comes back negative.

meanwhile, here is a story from Ghana,

https://www.nairaland.com/4732620/dna-test-confirms-emmanuel-tagoe

For you to doubt that the boy is yours already means your wife made you lose trust in her.

It is except you do the DNA or live with this burden of uncertainty for the rest of your life. Pick one

Ok guys thanks so much, but does anybody know any reputale DNA center in lagos? I mean most trusted? And has there been any news of if there are cases where paternity test result came out wrongly?

Why do you really want a DNA test? And how well can you handle the truth

if it turns out not to be mine, i will be able to handle the truth.

Who knows where credible DNA tests can be conducted in Lagos? 419ers eerywher.

johnmen500:
Ok guys thanks so much, but does anybody know any reputale DNA center in lagos? I mean most trusted? And has there been any news of if there are cases where paternity test result came out wrongly?

Praternitytestnigeria.com
DNA worldwide lagos

100K for what you need.

Yea, shopping will solve the problem

frozen70:
Something must have led to the doubt you are having

Just tell your wife that you will like to run a DNA on your son

From the look of things, trust is where you guys have issues

If you can afford a DNA test it will put you mind at peace

If its your child goodluck and if he is not your child then ask her who's child is he because one day the father will come for that child, unless he is not aware

And if the result if favourable to you, tell her why you did the test and tell her you are sorry about the doubt by taking her for a shopping

But I maintained that something much have triggered you to think that way