Good day everyone. I have a long epistle to type here. It's the way I feel and I cant really say it out to anyone.All I really just need is good and honest advice that works
For about a year plus, I was in a relationship with someone. In the end,it couldn't work out because of issues from my parents. He eventually gave in to the people who had been pointing him in the direction of someone else who liked him and trust me she is beautiful. I was heartbroken and understood that he needed to move on but the whole saga did something to my self esteem. I felt he moved on so fast.(not like he owed me that tho).I shamefully begged severally but I always got a no and I think that was what got to my self esteem the most. Started feeling like I wasn't worth waiting for. I've always had acne my whole life and it affected my self esteem at some point which I overcame. The babe in question has an unbelievably smooth face and it made me low.(cos I remembered how he talked about my face sometimes). I just kept imagining how he must have taken time to compare us before deciding to move on. I always feel like no matter what,I'll never be as beautiful as her and so I'm a loser in the things that really matter(keeping a man). I used to be this carefree babe and was happy being focused,aspiring, Godly and humble,but now all those things dont seem to matter anymore. I get intimidated easily and feel like I cant achieve anything anymore. I feel this heavy sense of shame like a looser and cant be anyones choice. Sometimes I cant even look on the mirror cos I feel so ugly and worthless. I eventually summoned the strength and blocked him on all platforms where we can communicate and he told some ppl I was keeping malice with him and he wants to be friends.They all tell me "ure a Christian and that's not how to handle such issues".dont worry ull get over it"...sometimes their reactions make me feel ashamed of feeling the way I feel.. trying to get a shrink who can assist me. Haven't met the right one yet.....but this feeling is killing me. Its stealing my joy. Sometimes I try to be happy,I remember all this and get depressed again. Even for those who have asked me out,I just feel deep down,they're not really Interested in me,they probably just want a decent wife and will port once a better option comes up.....thought I'd be over these feelings by now,but they keep coming back....really dont know how to handle them

Nobody can help you at this point, except you help yourself. Your ex has moved on, engage yourself in doing things that makes you happy. Believe me, you will get over him with time.

Read books that focus on ways to build your self esteem,u can get them online. Then keep him blocked,it wld help u forget him faster,damn what people are saying ,Nigerians can judge for africa

Face your mirror daily and speak to yourself, I am beautiful. I am intelligent, humble and hardworking. Don't allow your inner thoughts to subdue your physical voice, if it means saying it loud not minding who is there do it. I have been there. Decide to build yourself by what the word of God says about you. Meanwhile, don't be in a hurry to go into any relationship for now, until you overcome this I am 'ugly ' thought. More so, it is better you marry a man that loves you beyond physical look. Trust me sister, I am married for over 10years. Just focus on saying the right words to yourself and thank God more for not allowing you to marry the man. He was complaining about your face right? Hmm. Just imagine sagging breast after childbirth, stretch marks, fat, big tummy. Please start seeing it from another dimension, you deserve more!!!

Thanks for the advice. Really,only I can help myself at this point. Sometimes I get over it briefly and after a while the whole feeling just comes back again. I'll keep trying my best tho. Tnx

OP, work on building your low self-esteem. Start exercising, eating well and drinking lots of water. All good for your mental and skin health.

Omoge. Whew!

The craziest thing a woman can do to herself is to ruin her own self esteem and happiness! A woman with low self esteem mostly gets used like a doormat while the unhappy woman mostly gets avoided. Biko, go and change your wardrobe, hairs and the crowd you move with...you've got to revamp! No woman should undermine herself! We are all incredible beautiful!

About the bobo...forget him. There are so many better dudes out there.

Concerning the acne, biko start reading online materials on how to clear it or find any of the natural soap babes on IG to work with. You will be fine. Cheers.

layefa123:
Thanks for the advice. Really,only I can help myself at this point. Sometimes I get over it briefly and after a while the whole feeling just comes back again. I'll keep trying my best tho. Tnx

how old are you ? And what are you doing now ? Working ? Schooling ?
Let me tell you about myself, I used to have a long head or so I thought . I actually do have a long head and when I was much younger I'd keep my hair bushy just to hide that.
Surprisingly I had an incredibly smooth and young face, this was a bonus for me but I never realised it cos I focused on my long head and I was lucky to realise early enough that everybody has some deficiency , if thats the way you choose to look at it. But thats what makes us humans, you have to learn to accept yourself and be happy with what you are.
You will find someone who will love you the way you are. I have met a lady with inverted ni**pple am sure you will think thats probably worse than pimples right ?
But how would you know ? Cos she covers it so it doesnt mean everyone is perfect. Learn to accept who you are and be happy with it, once you work hard and you are succesful people will make that your deficiency as a standard.
Learn to present yourself with respect people will relate with you the way you present yourself.

Lastly , work hard and be succesful, better men will approach you those who will treat you like an egg.

When I meet ladies today, I dont even see their pimples, what I want to evaluate is their intellect and personality.

You are beautiful just the way you are. Its called beautiful imperfection, learn to embrace it we all have imperfections in some way so its nothing to be ashamed of.

Guitarlife:

how old are you ? And what are you doing now ? Working ? Schooling ?
Let me tell you about myself, I used to have a long head or so I thought . I actually do have a long head and when I was much younger I'd keep my hair bushy just to hide that.
Surprisingly I had an incredibly smooth and young face, this was a bonus for me but I never realised it cos I focused on my long head and I was lucky to realise early enough that everybody has some deficiency , if thats the way you choose to look at it. But thats what makes us humans, you have to learn to accept yourself and be happy with what you are.
You will find someone who will love you the way you are. I have met a lady with inverted ni**pple am sure you will think thats probably worse than pimples right ?
But how would you know ? Cos she covers it so it doesnt mean everyone is perfect. Learn to accept who you are and be happy with it, once you work hard and you are succesful people will make that your deficiency as a standard.
Learn to present yourself with respect people will relate with you the way you present yourself.

Lastly , work hard and be succesful, better men will approach you those who will treat you like an egg.

When I meet ladies today, I dont even see their pimples, what I want to evaluate is their intellect and personality.

You are beautiful just the way you are. Its called beautiful imperfection, learn to embrace it we all have imperfections in some way so its nothing to be ashamed of.

God bless you

Hey babygal whatsapp!!
Sorry I just wanted to make you feel cool that's why I said babygal! I thought that's funny lolzzzz.
Anyway cut out anyone that will make you feel little, and try accept yourself and make yourself your best friend,if you do so, you have conquer have of the world and you should also try and treat whatever acne you have!! No one is perfect! But you are unique in your way and special, take care

[/quote]
Tnx for ur advice. Recently started getting self help books plus my bible..will also start working on my goals(including learning to face a crowd,plus going back for my second degree) I'm hopeful all this will help.

sisisioge:
Omoge. Whew!

The craziest thing a woman can do to herself is to ruin her own self esteem and happiness! A woman with low self esteem mostly gets used like a doormat while the unhappy woman mostly gets avoided. Biko, go and change your wardrobe, hairs and the crowd you move with...you've got to revamp! No woman should undermine herself! We are all incredible beautiful!

About the bobo...forget him. There are so many better dudes out there.

Concerning the acne, biko start reading online materials on how to clear it or find any of the natural soap babes on IG to work with. You will be fine. Cheers.

Mehn If only u know all I have done because of this acne. So many products,chemical peels,facials and bla bla,they work for like 2weeks but nothing has been able to suppress the breakouts. I was recently able to get a pharm who sells accutane and started a dose.I'm praying it works so i can then focus on treating my scars. Tnx for ur words

Tnx guitarlife....ure funny sha�

Gratitude. The infallible solution.
They are people who would kill to be in your position. You are going for a second degree meaning you have a first. That's something to be grateful for.
Look at your life. Cultivate a lifestyle of gratitude. Thank God or whatever you believe in for all the things you have that others wish for.
See your feelings change and your self-esteem begin to rise like Ijebu garri

Tyh

Guitarlife:

how old are you ? And what are you doing now ? Working ? Schooling ?
Let me tell you about myself, I used to have a long head or so I thought . I actually do have a long head and when I was much younger I'd keep my hair bushy just to hide that.
Surprisingly I had an incredibly smooth and young face, this was a bonus for me but I never realised it cos I focused on my long head and I was lucky to realise early enough that everybody has some deficiency , if thats the way you choose to look at it. But thats what makes us humans, you have to learn to accept yourself and be happy with what you are.
You will find someone who will love you the way you are. I have met a lady with inverted ni**pple am sure you will think thats probably worse than pimples right ?
But how would you know ? Cos she covers it so it doesnt mean everyone is perfect. Learn to accept who you are and be happy with it, once you work hard and you are succesful people will make that your deficiency as a standard.
Learn to present yourself with respect people will relate with you the way you present yourself.

Lastly , work hard and be succesful, better men will approach you those who will treat you like an egg.

When I meet ladies today, I dont even see their pimples, what I want to evaluate is their intellect and personality.

You are beautiful just the way you are. Its called beautiful imperfection, learn to embrace it we all have imperfections in some way so its nothing to be ashamed of.

This is the best I have read on nairaland. Awwwwww! Thank you

layefa123:


Mehn If only u know all I have done because of this acne. So many products,chemical peels,facials and bla bla,they work for like 2weeks but nothing has been able to suppress the breakouts. I was recently able to get a pharm who sells accutane and started a dose.I'm praying it works so i can then focus on treating my scars. Tnx for ur words

What people don’t understand is that the real cause of acne is actually unknown.. you can manage the situation by creating a good routine.

First kill those bacteria or fungi

Starve the bacteria by depriving them of their food, which is oil.. they feed on excess oil.

When they die, use salicylic acid to exfoliate and get them build up out of your pores so they don’t create another inflammation for more acne to appear.
Now that the bacteria has reduced, the acne will reduce.

Doesn’t mean all the bacteria are dead. Create a good routine.
Your skin will produce more oil trying to retain the water content of the skin.
You want more hydrating products to draw water into your skin so your body will see you have more water and no need for more oil to be produced.

If you naturally oily and acne prone, clay mask and salicylic acid should be in your routine.
Salicylic acid will help drain out pores with excess oil and build up.
Clay mask extracts and dries out the excess oil

An oil free moisturizer should be your best friend to seal the water content in your skin.

This will help acne prone skin to prevent break out.

yettymuse:
What people don’t understand is that the real cause of acne is actually unknown.. you can manage the situation by creating a good routine.

First kill those bacteria or fungi

Starve the bacteria by depriving them of their food, which is oil.. they feed on excess oil.

When they die, use salicylic acid to exfoliate and get them build up out of your pores so they don’t create another inflammation for more acne to appear.
Now that the bacteria has reduced, the acne will reduce.

Doesn’t mean all the bacteria are dead. Create a good routine.
Your skin will produce more oil trying to retain the water content of the skin.
You want more hydrating products to draw water into your skin so your body will see you have more water and no need for more oil to be produced.

If you naturally oily and acne prone, clay mask and salicylic acid should be in your routine.
Salicylic acid will help drain out pores with excess oil and build up.
Clay mask extracts and dries out the excess oil

An oil free moisturizer should be your best friend to seal the water content in your skin.

This will help acne prone skin to prevent break out.

Hi!
Can benzoyl peroxide work instead of salicylic acid?
Can you help with a clay mask product?
Acne is really disturbing

layefa123:


Mehn If only u know all I have done because of this acne. So many products,chemical peels,facials and bla bla,they work for like 2weeks but nothing has been able to suppress the breakouts. I was recently able to get a pharm who sells accutane and started a dose.I'm praying it works so i can then focus on treating my scars. Tnx for ur words

How’s your accurate dosage coming along?

Ains:

Hi!
Can benzoyl peroxide work instead of salicylic acid?
Can you help with a clay mask product?
Acne is really disturbing

salicylic acid dissolves dirt, oil and dead skin layers that clog the pores while benzoyl peroxide works by penetrating the pores and killing acne-causing bacteria. Both are actually good.

Using topically, you can get SA in a cleanser and/or toner formula and apply to the areas affected.

For benzoyl, you can apply in gel, cream and this comes in strengths... Start from the lowest and work your way through
Have ever thought of tretinoin in a lower strength?.. You can swap this for salicylic..
TCA peel is also great for acne(mayke sure you don't have active acne before using TCA or sought a professional help when dealing with chemical peels.

yettymuse:
salicylic acid dissolves dirt, oil and dead skin layers that clog the pores while benzoyl peroxide works by penetrating the pores and killing acne-causing bacteria. Both are actually good.

Using topically, you can get SA in a cleanser and/or toner formula and apply to the areas affected.

For benzoyl, you can apply in gel, cream and this comes in strengths... Start from the lowest and work your way
Have ever thought of tretinoin in a lower strength?.. You can swap this for salicylic..
TCA peel is also great for acne(mayke sure you don't have active acne before using TCA or sought a professional help when dealing with chemical peels.

Thanks for this though I have tretinoin in form of retin A cream. It kinda makes the acne come out