I am here to write about my experience. I don't know where to go or what to do except to give up everything as I feel very sad, and in pain. I was seeking answers but in my case, it's different and I truly need help.

We have been married about 22 years ago. We were so in love and so close to each other. He was my first true boyfriend that I dated seriously and married. He was very good to me. After the unexpected first pregnancy, things started to go downhill. I found myself not having help at home, having to deal with work, baby etc. I have lost my libido and got tired often as I had to juggle so much without much help. But we managed and I didn't think there was problem. I am the hard working type and trusted him with all my heart.

Then we had 2nd child and I continued to work hard. We both had our share of stresss. He started his own business and went thru hard times initially. I was not able to help him as I have to work hard to support the family as I was having stable income. He advised me to start my own too and in summary, I did and went thru lots of struggle and hard work. I become successful and continued to support the family. For many years, I supported the children's education till university, I managed to upgrade our homes and paid it off. There is a heavy price to pay for being so hard working and doing better than my husband. I don't have a choice as he does not provide me any financial support. He went thru hard times and claimed I was not helpful and was not available for him during his darkest hours.

This led to him falling for his loyal staff who is obviously younger, prettier and made him feel better. He admitted his affair after I confronted him as I finally felt the changes in him. He stopped being intimate with me, he got impatient with me, he let me pay for most bills on my own and many more. I refused to believe as I trusted him as he says he is under so much stress and asked for me to understand him. I always prayed hard for the family and him and waited for him to overcome his problems and to love me back as before. I believe in him so much that I shared all my own financial rewards with him, the properties that I paid for and literally everything I have. I am not an angel but I resisted cheating behind him as I believed he won't and I wanted to keep my marriage wow.

Now I am so lost, am so depressed that I want to sleep forever and never to face fhe cruelty of what he has done to me. I worked so hard for our retirement, saving much I can in our joint accounts and looking forward to grow old with him. Despite him having changes last many years, I continued to pray for him and for us to be happy. Despite my instincts that I am being used and being cheated, I chose to trust him and went all out to reach out to him, to love and to care for him. But he always avoided and gave excuses to be away.

During the confrontation about his cheating, he admitted loving her so much, and he also wants to marry her eventually as he needs her and she is much better than me. It broke me to pieces. He apologised for the pain but he can't stop the affair and can't stop loving her. He even admitted he is conflicted as he loves the family so much and he still loves me but he said it's different love now. He still admits he wants to be with her.

I have been made to feel very unattractive and bad to the extent to I am losing my self confidence. I am a successful Profesional and doing well in my work. I juggled and worked hard and do not depend on him financially. I actually supplemented him in the many family expenses. I feel so lonely all these years but I chose to believe him and living in denial that he has lost his love for me.

I only know I love him as I have always been faithful. I am so heartbroken that I do not want to continue my professional work although I am doing well. I am now choosing to end everything I have. I have lost my will to live and to go on. I share too much with my husband as I put his name in all I have. Be it bank accounts properties. He would not hesitate to let me make most payments but he does not directly use my money.

i want to end it all and go to sleep forever. My heart is empty, my dreams are crushed, my values are betrayed, I can't love another man again. My tears have dried up. I have lots of friends and acquaintances but none I feel comfortable to talk to as I have been the one being looked up to and giving advices.

My life has collapsed.

Madam! Are you normal atall? What exactly is the problem with some of you?

When you are suppose to quit your marriage, you'll stay. Bu will be quick to quit when you are not suppose to.

Isn't it obvious he doesn't care or think about you and the success of that marriage?
Have you not tried emotionally, domestically and financially? Do you want to die for a man who will be quick to rejoice your death?

He even made it clear to you that he doesn't love you and will soon be bringing another woman, yet you dey stress yourself unnecessarily.

Make una dey get sense Abeg.

LEAVE THAT MARRIAGE and be happy.

Nobody is irreplaceable!!!!!!!!

Hmmnnn... Nnkan Be!

Talk to God.

Hmmm


Madam, this shouldn't lead you to ending your life please.

Before you, there had been cases like this and will certainly be more after yours.

Not to jump into concluding from just hearing your side of the story alone, I'd advice you pull yourself together with a straight face and move on with your life seeing how he has been "honest" enough to tell you the love he had for you intimately had waned.

Please do not allow "what people would say or think" lead you to seclusion as this will only hasten your thoughts of ending it all as you stated.

About your finances and everything else tied with his name, though not a legal expert, I am sure there are ways you can get around this to reclaim what is rightfully yours and surge on with your life.

Think about your kids and see a reason to keep alive please. By the way, are your adult kids in the know of what is happening?

This ain't the end of you please..stay strong and alive..
Peace

Married for 22years? Haba Haunty, you never tire? Delegate some of your bed duties to slay queens and live longer.

Edited: I just read your long post and I have few words for you. No one holds the key to your happiness and life, not even your husband. Think of what ending your life will do to your kids, siblings, parents and friends. Outlive your challenges, never allow them to outlive you. Shalom

MajorJeffery:
Married for 22years? Haba Haunty, you never tire? Delegate some of your bed duties to slay queens and live longer.

Barkley is about to be substituted for Kovacic,madam just accept you are either leaving the house or he is getting to a second Wife,I will advise you keep your marriage and just focus on your kids,he will come running back.That is how men who do not feed their family behave.

MajorJeffery:
Married for 22years? Haba Haunty, you never tire? Delegate some of your bed duties to slay queens and live longer.

Edited: I just read your long post and I have few words for you. No one holds the key to your happiness and life, not even your husband. Think of what ending your life will do to your kids, siblings, parents and friends. Outlive your challenges, never allow them to outlive you. Shalom

It's funny ma how you think ending your life would bring the succour that you need.
You will only use your selfishness to cause your loved ones pains, i mean your kids and your parents/siblings.
The man has confessed to you that he is in love with someone else, he has shown you every way out of the marriage and yet you choose to live in denial.
We all know it isn't easy but then what has happened has happened, you cannot change it. Get the documents to everything that belongs to you, change the names back to yours and use your kids as next of kin. Do things that make you happy, eat good food, dress well, meet more people and mingle fine.
Live for yourself, be selfish about it. I can't advise you to file for a divorce or not, it is your prerogative.

If you and your husband are praying together, then the solution is easy.
Do this when you and your husband are saying the morning prayers, you should pray with great emotion thanking God for giving you a wonderful husband and family. Then begin to beg God not not allow any other women to snatch your happiness. Talk to God deeply with cries and tears, it Will break the heart of your husband. Do this every day, you will see result before one week. And you will thank me later

Fake story!

Look at the use of words, too fake!

Oh, you paid off the house? Paid off indeed!

Dude is even a blogger. More articles, please.

I can't believe people are taking the OP serious. LMAO

My dear...i feel your pain...my mum is going thru this ordeal... Its beyond me how this still shocks people in our present society..Many men are never remorseful and never see the wrong in their actions...It only takes the grace of God and sickness for a man not to cheat...I know you said he's your first love and the feelings is there...but you need to come out from that your delusion of love lasts forever and strive for yourself and your children(abi u want another wicked woman to come and kee them)...Focus on your business/work, eat healthy, engage in fun activities, visit family and friends to keep ur mind sane..my dear, look so good in your appearance...Thank God you have a good business to cater for your needs...I know its not easy but please stop dwelling on your cheating husband if he's not willing to change...What do you think will happen if you die..He will shaparly bring in that worker colleague of his...So Wise-up Fast..A day of reckoning is always coming...Remember that

Madam,

I fell for you, it is very painful......what you are going through.

But regardless of all this you posted up there about you being caring and loving wife, tell us your bad side too, your flaws! What did you do to make him stop loving you?? We need to hear it......and we also need to hear his own side of the story.

I can't advice you on what to do except you also tell us what you did to him to suddenly make him change towards you.......a man doesn't just change for no reasons, especially after 22years of marriage!

pointblank247:
If you are your husband are praying together, then the solution is easy.
Do this when you and your husband are saying the morning prayers, you should pray with great emotion thanking God for giving you a wonderful husband and family. Then begin to beg God not not allow any other women to snatch your happiness. Talk to God deeply with cries and tears, it Will break the heart of your husband. Do this every day, you will see result before one week. And you will thank me later

W-o-n-d-a-f-u-l husband?

carammel:

W-o-n-d-a-f-u-l husband?

yes dear wonderful husband in parentheses

pointblank247:
If you are your husband are praying together, then the solution is easy.
Do this when you and your husband are saying the morning prayers, you should pray with great emotion thanking God for giving you a wonderful husband and family. Then begin to beg God not not allow any other women to snatch your happiness. Talk to God deeply with cries and tears, it Will break the heart of your husband. Do this every day, you will see result before one week. And you will thank me later

So you think if they pray and she mentions all that then Miracle and Magic will happen ba...stop deceiving yourself...So she should be crying and giving herself headache...Haba

No oooooo.... you've not suffered enough..
If you did or you're suffering that much, you would've divorced his ungrateful furry áss and focus on yourself and your children.. Your happiness doesn't revolve around a man, it'll be hard, it is hard!! But walk away, Live for your children, hell!! Live for yourself!! You'll notice your happiness and sanity coming back slowly

pointblank247:
If you are your husband are praying together, then the solution is easy.
Do this when you and your husband are saying the morning prayers, you should pray with great emotion thanking God for giving you a wonderful husband and family. Then begin to beg God not not allow any other women to snatch your happiness. Talk to God deeply with cries and tears, it Will break the heart of your husband. Do this every day, you will see result before one week. And you will thank me later

So if we are to go by handling it the brotherly and Christian way like you pointed out there, the Bible allows a man to divorce the wife only when she commits adultery, but you don't want her to divorce him after it's definitely clear he's committing adultery??
She should continue to suffer it when she should walk away?
With all due respect

kiddoiLL:
So if we are to go by handling it the brotherly and Christian way like you pointed out there, the Bible allows a man to divorce the wife only when she commits adultery, but you don't want her to divorce him after it's definitely clear he's committing adultery??
She should continue to suffer it when she should walk away?
With all due respect

she should only walk away after trying her best, you don't know that the may have been possessed by a fornicative spirit

Lienus. You are a male writing this nonesense.
You have arouse the victim mentality of NL women with your fake story.

pointblank247:
she should only walk away after trying her best, you don't know that the may have been possessed by a fornicative spirit

My brother abegi leave that thing..We too dey blame devil for all of our actions

donstan18:
Madam! Are you normal atall? What exactly is the problem with some of you?

When you are suppose to quit your marriage, you'll stay. Bu will be quick to quit when you are not suppose to.

Isn't it obvious he doesn't care or think about you and the success of that marriage?
Have you not tried emotionally, domestically and financially? Do you want to die for a man who will be quick to rejoice your death?

He even made it clear to you that he doesn't love you and will soon be bringing another woman, yet you dey stress yourself unnecessarily.

Make una dey get sense Abeg.

LEAVE THAT MARRIAGE and be happy.

Nobody is irreplaceable!!!!!!!!

Leave the marriage and be happy....see ur mouth, as if it is that easy! Do you think 22 years is easy to throw away?? Are you stupid ni? Abi what's wrong with this children self

Madam...please heal fast for the sake of yourself and your children. And remember to make changes to all the documents, I mean things you acquired with your own money. Please get strategic , you can even act like you have forgiven him while you work out your plans. Thank God you are alive to witness this!!!

.

Yea men love women who are totally under them. They wanna b the provider.

Itzogunsakin:
I am here to write about my experience. I don't know where to go or what to do except to give up everything as I feel very sad, and in pain. I was seeking answers but in my case, it's different and I truly need help.

We have been married about 22 years ago. We were so in love and so close to each other. He was my first true boyfriend that I dated seriously and married. He was very good to me. After the unexpected first pregnancy, things started to go downhill. I found myself not having help at home, having to deal with work, baby etc. I have lost my libido and got tired often as I had to juggle so much without much help. But we managed and I didn't think there was problem. I am the hard working type and trusted him with all my heart.

Then we had 2nd child and I continued to work hard. We both had our share of stresss. He started his own business and went thru hard times initially. I was not able to help him as I have to work hard to support the family as I was having stable income. He advised me to start my own too and in summary, I did and went thru lots of struggle and hard work. I become successful and continued to support the family. For many years, I supported the children's education till university, I managed to upgrade our homes and paid it off. There is a heavy price to pay for being so hard working and doing better than my husband. I don't have a choice as he does not provide me any financial support. He went thru hard times and claimed I was not helpful and was not available for him during his darkest hours.

This led to him falling for his loyal staff who is obviously younger, prettier and made him feel better. He admitted his affair after I confronted him as I finally felt the changes in him. He stopped being intimate with me, he got impatient with me, he let me pay for most bills on my own and many more. I refused to believe as I trusted him as he says he is under so much stress and asked for me to understand him. I always prayed hard for the family and him and waited for him to overcome his problems and to love me back as before. I believe in him so much that I shared all my own financial rewards with him, the properties that I paid for and literally everything I have. I am not an angel but I resisted cheating behind him as I believed he won't and I wanted to keep my marriage wow.

Now I am so lost, am so depressed that I want to sleep forever and never to face fhe cruelty of what he has done to me. I worked so hard for our retirement, saving much I can in our joint accounts and looking forward to grow old with him. Despite him having changes last many years, I continued to pray for him and for us to be happy. Despite my instincts that I am being used and being cheated, I chose to trust him and went all out to reach out to him, to love and to care for him. But he always avoided and gave excuses to be away.

During the confrontation about his cheating, he admitted loving her so much, and he also wants to marry her eventually as he needs her and she is much better than me. It broke me to pieces. He apologised for the pain but he can't stop the affair and can't stop loving her. He even admitted he is conflicted as he loves the family so much and he still loves me but he said it's different love now. He still admits he wants to be with her.

I have been made to feel very unattractive and bad to the extent to I am losing my self confidence. I am a successful Profesional and doing well in my work. I juggled and worked hard and do not depend on him financially. I actually supplemented him in the many family expenses. I feel so lonely all these years but I chose to believe him and living in denial that he has lost his love for me.

I only know I love him as I have always been faithful. I am so heartbroken that I do not want to continue my professional work although I am doing well. I am now choosing to end everything I have. I have lost my will to live and to go on. I share too much with my husband as I put his name in all I have. Be it bank accounts properties. He would not hesitate to let me make most payments but he does not directly use my money.

i want to end it all and go to sleep forever. My heart is empty, my dreams are crushed, my values are betrayed, I can't love another man again. My tears have dried up. I have lots of friends and acquaintances but none I feel comfortable to talk to as I have been the one being looked up to and giving advices.

My life has collapsed.

remove all the money from your joint accounts, remove his name as next of kin in all your documents and property. Get yourself a sugarboy. Focus on yourself. Go out and meet new people, not all these pretencious people that will advice you to stay for the children. Stop payng the bills, especially the ones that you know he uses. Stop caring. Period.


Ladies and gentlemen. This is why ladies should not do a man's job as head of the family or support him finacially. forget for richer for poorer. Men are wired to be selfish.

Op, you are what we call a pick me chick. You will build a man and encourage him to be lazy. The man will leave you for someone younger when he is through with you.

Hmmm....a male posting about my husband?