My name is Martin (not real name), I graduated from the university in the year 2009, that’s some 10 years ago. I’m an introvert, like the worst kind you can ever think of. I think this has also contributed to majority of my problems.

At 35, one would think that I’d have a nice paying job, nice little house with wife and beautiful kids, but the rude awakening is that I still live with my parents, I have two younger siblings, the youngest just got a job with a multinational company, somewhere in VI, while the other one is a medical doctor based in the states.

My parents, most especially my father don’t miss the opportunity to remind me of what a failure I am or I have become. He once threatened to send me out of his house, if I don’t sit up and lead by example. My mum at the initial stage used to encourage me and give me words of advice, but recently she told me that she has lost her patience, that I’m trying to sow the seed of stagnation and regression in our family.

I know you all would be wondering how I got here, but from a very young age, I’ve always been known to be brilliant and academic inclined, the funny part is that I graduated with a first class(most people, especially my immediate family seems to have forgotten) from one of the top federal universities in the country, where I studied architecture.

Like I said previously, I have poor social skills, I tend to bottle up my emotions instead of opening up to people, I’ve never had a girlfriend, not because I’m not good looking but because I can’t summon the courage to approach a lady. People say I’m timid and scared to face the world.

I had a job once immediately after I finished school at a construction firm, I worked there for two good years and I saved every penny I earned, hoping to invest in real estate, but I was swindled by some persons who claimed the sold landed properties, that was close to N8 million. All my life’s savings gone, I took a huge amount of loan from my company, when I couldn’t pay back I was sacked and humiliated.

Well ever since, all my efforts at getting another job has proven futile, it’s like there’s a spiritual force that is holding me back, infact I’ve lost all hope there is, my situation has deteriorated into extreme depression as I type this, suicide thoughts keep flooding into my head, I need help please, I’d be reading the comments below, please no negative comment, like I said I’m a very emotional person.

Zubelu.com
https://zubelu.com/blog/im-35-years-old-and-i-already-feel-like-a-failure-in-life/

bro you wan hear my own story?

I will advice you try contacting your siblings for Yankee tell am say make him help you come that side, I believe with your qualification you can get some thing doing with his help.


any ways I used to be like you I mean I once felt like a total failure in life, the thing got too much that I starred seeking for spiritual help.

long Tory cut short if you think your probs are more of spiritual then bro fire ya ass up and look for a solution ngwa ngwa before iruo 40

I believe you are a star

mine is worst

phlamesG:
My name is Martin (not real name), I graduated from the university in the year 2009, that’s some 10 years ago. I’m an introvert, like the worst kind you can ever think of. I think this has also contributed to majority of my problems.

At 35, one would think that I’d have a nice paying job, nice little house with wife and beautiful kids, but the rude awakening is that I still live with my parents, I have two younger siblings, the youngest just got a job with a multinational company, somewhere in VI, while the other one is a medical doctor based in the states.

My parents, most especially my father don’t miss the opportunity to remind me of what a failure I am or I have become. He once threatened to send me out of his house, if I don’t sit up and lead by example. My mum at the initial stage used to encourage me and give me words of advice, but recently she told me that she has lost her patience, that I’m trying to sow the seed of stagnation and regression in our family.

I know you all would be wondering how I got here, but from a very young age, I’ve always been known to be brilliant and academic inclined, the funny part is that I graduated with a first class(most people, especially my immediate family seems to have forgotten) from one of the top federal universities in the country, where I studied architecture.

Like I said previously, I have poor social skills, I tend to bottle up my emotions instead of opening up to people, I’ve never had a girlfriend, not because I’m not good looking but because I can’t summon the courage to approach a lady. People say I’m timid and scared to face the world.

I had a job once immediately after I finished school at a construction firm, I worked there for two good years and I saved every penny I earned, hoping to invest in real estate, but I was swindled by some persons who claimed the sold landed properties, that was close to N8 million. All my life’s savings gone, I took a huge amount of loan from my company, when I couldn’t pay back I was sacked and humiliated.

Well ever since, all my efforts at getting another job has proven futile, it’s like there’s a spiritual force that is holding me back, infact I’ve lost all hope there is, my situation has deteriorated into extreme depression as I type this, suicide thoughts keep flooding into my head, I need help please, I’d be reading the comments below, please no negative comment, like I said I’m a very emotional person.

Zubelu.com
https://zubelu.com/blog/im-35-years-old-and-i-already-feel-like-a-failure-in-life/

look for small ammount of money and rent a one room appartment,then start from there. life is a stage

Damn... This sakamanje story got me sha.

Third person story....e no concern me

But for those with similar situation here.....go and throw your certificate or result somewhere and put your brain to the test. Thinkers always make things happen. Trust me.

As a sibling, I wouldn't sit and watch my elder bro if he is jobless. If I have the financial strength, I should be able to assist him with some money to start a business. What are siblings for?

Mr,this itself is a good step now you know you've got a problem what you dont know is were to start and how to move from there as it relates your life.
Nobody can get you that which you truly desire than yourself. its said desire ignite passion and drive. Little drops make an ocean as no man makes something for himself over night, but with work and endurance.
I'm nowhere near were i want to be but i pray i never loose focus ROME WAS NOT BUILT IN A DAY.

Life is in phases and men are in sizes. Every one has a story to tell. You're not alone. Life has not been fair to everyone but still keep your hope alive and move closer to God. Delay in life is not denial. Who knows, you may even be the bread winner of your family. Don't use your present conditions to determine your goals in life. You're only going through a phase, which will soon lapse.

dingbang:
As a sibling, I wouldn't sit and watch my elder bro if he is jobless. If I have the financial strength, I should be able to assist him with some money to start a business. What are siblings for?

Some siblings can be very competitive. They try to maintain whatever edge, position/status, influence or money they have over others, especially in polygamous homes.

dingbang:
As a sibling, I wouldn't sit and watch my elder bro if he is jobless. If I have the financial strength, I should be able to assist him with some money to start a business. What are siblings for?

What about a case where you have assisted time and time again without seeing any results proportional to your input

What a world we live in, Damn it!!

blessedvisky:


What about a case where you have assisted time and time again without seeing any results proportional to your input

I hands off my case.

Everything will be alright bro. For real. Try and get a job, no matter how small or denigrating ( teaching, research...) Could be in ur state or another state. Like someone said, it'd be good to leave ur parents and start on ur own. Be strong bro

It's not easy being the first child.

Fake story.

Even if it requires carrying block, try not to sot at home all day, do something productive

Let me tell you the truth.
Most of the successful men you read about, had exactly the same type of life like yours.
Some were said that they would not amount to anything, but they beat the odds.

The greater the shame the sweeter the glory.

Don't you ever give up
Find ways and leave your parents house
In fact if I were you
Leave Lagos if it possible for you
That city is completely choked up.

There are wonderful cities you can dwell in Nigeria, and still make it better with a peace of mind.
Most importantly get close to God
Be prayerful, learn how to develop personal relationship with God. Because it is only God that lifts someone up

Be strong bro
It will get better with time

Who among you fears the LORD and obeys his servant? If you are walking in darkness, without a ray of light, trust in the LORD and rely on your God.--Isaiah 50:10

For our present troubles are small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!--2 Corinthians 4:17

Nevertheless,
Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way prosperity will come to you--Job 22:21

The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, declares the LORD of hosts.--Haggai 2:8

The ear that listens to the reproofs of life abides among the wise!!!

@35 you sir can choose to move out and go your way but doing so without any solid footing may lead you to doing shitty stuff,and possibly retrogress when you should actually be progressing leaving you feeling completely useless.
define your purpose take little baby steps, if possible start by crawlling. time i know is not on your side but it is also said patience is a virtue. walk your way up the road as you go so you learn.

Op pls refrain from this line of thought, As extracted from your story! " it’s like there’s a spiritual force that is holding me back, infact I’ve lost all hope there is, my situation has deteriorated into extreme". After which look "within" and "discipline" ur self accordingly,.. Its very practical and has helped me too.

phlamesG:
My name is Martin (not real name), I graduated from the university in the year 2009, that’s some 10 years ago. I’m an introvert, like the worst kind you can ever think of. I think this has also contributed to majority of my problems.

At 35, one would think that I’d have a nice paying job, nice little house with wife and beautiful kids, but the rude awakening is that I still live with my parents, I have two younger siblings, the youngest just got a job with a multinational company, somewhere in VI, while the other one is a medical doctor based in the states.

My parents, most especially my father don’t miss the opportunity to remind me of what a failure I am or I have become. He once threatened to send me out of his house, if I don’t sit up and lead by example. My mum at the initial stage used to encourage me and give me words of advice, but recently she told me that she has lost her patience, that I’m trying to sow the seed of stagnation and regression in our family.

I know you all would be wondering how I got here, but from a very young age, I’ve always been known to be brilliant and academic inclined, the funny part is that I graduated with a first class(most people, especially my immediate family seems to have forgotten) from one of the top federal universities in the country, where I studied architecture.

Like I said previously, I have poor social skills, I tend to bottle up my emotions instead of opening up to people, I’ve never had a girlfriend, not because I’m not good looking but because I can’t summon the courage to approach a lady. People say I’m timid and scared to face the world.

I had a job once immediately after I finished school at a construction firm, I worked there for two good years and I saved every penny I earned, hoping to invest in real estate, but I was swindled by some persons who claimed the sold landed properties, that was close to N8 million. All my life’s savings gone, I took a huge amount of loan from my company, when I couldn’t pay back I was sacked and humiliated.

Well ever since, all my efforts at getting another job has proven futile, it’s like there’s a spiritual force that is holding me back, infact I’ve lost all hope there is, my situation has deteriorated into extreme depression as I type this, suicide thoughts keep flooding into my head, I need help please, I’d be reading the comments below, please no negative comment, like I said I’m a very emotional person.

Zubelu.com
https://zubelu.com/blog/im-35-years-old-and-i-already-feel-like-a-failure-in-life/

this is more of depression than lack of social skills. the guy just needs to sit up

OP, we all have made similar mistakes before but beating yourself up every second wont help, your parents attitude arent helping either but then again most parents are like that so my suggestion is that join a support group either online or offline, share your problems., it will build your courage from there. secondly, contact a friend who does not judge and is ready to take you in. hopefully, an opportunity will come whilst you stay with your friend. it will save you from the constant bashing from your parents. pls remember that suicide is not an option.. stay alive and fight this because God gave us all second chances. Lets use it

Blogger story

At 35 you shouldn't be with your parents, move out immediately and begin to sort yourself out. Nothing good can happen when you are still being fed and pampered. Secondly, get busy with your life, be hands on. Go to a decent club or bar on Fridays with your senses intact. Make new friends, even if you won't keep them. You need a well rounded perspective about life to effectively function in it. I was just like you years back ( finished with a first class from a federal university in 2009 - my social life was dead because I was over dedicated to my academics)but I realized at 25 that I had to open up and now I'm doing well.

It's delightful not just sleek!

Keep trying, one day your sun will shine.
Can you change your career?
Maybe is not your calling

Sorry for ur present situation but all will be well. If u think it is spiritual I can link u up with a man of God whom help me to solved a similar issues in my life late last year & now I'm doing great.
If u think otherwise; I will suggest u get connected to God by frequently going after kingdom investment endeavors; ur heavens will be open automatically if u do so.

All hope isn't lost just yet.

God bless u; if u wish to hear from me u can reach me on WhatsApp or phone call on 07032178167 - Fejiro Adams.

phlamesG:
My name is Martin (not real name), I graduated from the university in the year 2009, that’s some 10 years ago. I’m an introvert, like the worst kind you can ever think of. I think this has also contributed to majority of my problems.

At 35, one would think that I’d have a nice paying job, nice little house with wife and beautiful kids, but the rude awakening is that I still live with my parents, I have two younger siblings, the youngest just got a job with a multinational company, somewhere in VI, while the other one is a medical doctor based in the states.

My parents, most especially my father don’t miss the opportunity to remind me of what a failure I am or I have become. He once threatened to send me out of his house, if I don’t sit up and lead by example. My mum at the initial stage used to encourage me and give me words of advice, but recently she told me that she has lost her patience, that I’m trying to sow the seed of stagnation and regression in our family.

I know you all would be wondering how I got here, but from a very young age, I’ve always been known to be brilliant and academic inclined, the funny part is that I graduated with a first class(most people, especially my immediate family seems to have forgotten) from one of the top federal universities in the country, where I studied architecture.

Like I said previously, I have poor social skills, I tend to bottle up my emotions instead of opening up to people, I’ve never had a girlfriend, not because I’m not good looking but because I can’t summon the courage to approach a lady. People say I’m timid and scared to face the world.

I had a job once immediately after I finished school at a construction firm, I worked there for two good years and I saved every penny I earned, hoping to invest in real estate, but I was swindled by some persons who claimed the sold landed properties, that was close to N8 million. All my life’s savings gone, I took a huge amount of loan from my company, when I couldn’t pay back I was sacked and humiliated.

Well ever since, all my efforts at getting another job has proven futile, it’s like there’s a spiritual force that is holding me back, infact I’ve lost all hope there is, my situation has deteriorated into extreme depression as I type this, suicide thoughts keep flooding into my head, I need help please, I’d be reading the comments below, please no negative comment, like I said I’m a very emotional person.

Zubelu.com
https://zubelu.com/blog/im-35-years-old-and-i-already-feel-like-a-failure-in-life/

First class in what subject ? I don’t believe you have 1st class from the sounds of your writing .


Many people that grAduated with third class in Nigeria have made some headway in Nigeria.

I suggest u can start by volunteering ur time to serve in ur local church(I assume u are a Christian) as a church worker. I suggest u choose tasking departments like Sunday school or Teens church. It will open u up to group interactions and be active

Bro don’t lose hope, for when there’s life there’s still hope... and this would hopefully be a situation you’ll look back at in some years time and consider it as a learning phase in life.

The best solution would be if you can garner the funds to try and go and do your masters, since you stated you graduated with a first class, you should be able to get a scholarship even if it’s a partial funding and you can try to talk to your parents to help fund the remainder I’m sure they would agree because they are probably even tired of you and no parent would want their child to be a burden especially at your age. I recommend going for a masters especially in a foreign country as it can give you a new perspective on life as you seem to be stuck.