I'm appalled at the way marriages hit the wall in these recent times. This generation is guilty! We're not getting it right at all.

A few months ago, I ran into a childhood friend. He was my neighbor and playmate when we were growing up. Neighborhood changed and we weren't in touch anymore. Fast forward till late last year when we met again. He's married now with kids and seems to be doing fine. After meeting up a few more occasions, he decided to open up to me. All is not well with his marriage.

Though Yoruba, he got married to an Igbo lady about 10 years ago and they have 2 kids together. Trouble started in their marriage when the wife's immediate younger sister (she's in her 30s) started living with them. Initially they were fine but at a time the wife became arrogant and the sister too became overbearing such that she sleeps with them in the bedroom or even sleeps on their marital bed. The man would sleep either on the couch in the living room or the guest room. According to him, he complained to the wife but she was adamant about it, rather they both connive many times to harass the man out of the house. He has a simple nature and they took advantage. They got him arrested once but the police on listening to the man's side of the story asked him to go without collecting a farthing from him.

Gradually, things degenerated between them and for over a year now, they stopped making love but they still live together and the man still provides for the family.

Family members have tried to mediate to no avail but the lady's family especially, are non-chalant about it. The girl's mother was reported to have even said that " Marriage is not by force!" After the mediation, it was agreed that the wife's sister, who has lived with them for about 7 years, should look for another place to stay. She moved out in January. This isn't so effective as the couple still don't have sex together and the wife doesn't cook his meal still. Before she doesn't cook for him at all, now she does it once in a while.

Now, not too long ago, he met a lady.
The chemistry between them is strong, so strong ithat he's willing to give up everything to be with her. He wants to relocate abroad with her. I've seen her a couple of times or so. She's good really, but she's married and looking to leave her husband. Her marriage of 8 years is childless and she wants to try elsewhere. The problem seems to be with her husband.

Having listened to his sorry tale, he wants advice pretty urgently. How old am I in family matters? The guy is even older than me, we just happen to be friends. I feel sorry for him but I don't know what to tell him.

Nairaland to the rescue!

Don't do anytin stupid. Return to ur wife and make up ur misunderstandings. If things aren't working out still, then u resort to prayers. Thats my candid advice to you.

I wan sleep.. I go comment tomorrow abeg.

You're not blaming marriage are you?
Blame the student not the school/institution!
...
About your friend,
I'm seriously wondering what class of man is that?
Really, what kind of simple nature is that?
Now he wants to indulge a lady in divorcing her husband so they can what, marry and live happily ever after?
LMAO, what makes me laugh more is the lady thinking she's gonna have children when she tries out marriage with him
...
Now let's be serious,
He hasn't been able to live well with his wife in a Naija society, he now wants to go abroad(a western world I believe) to live and enjoy in a society where divorce is as common as sand
He truly needs advice!
Bring him on Nairaland here, there are many threads our Alpha brothers have opened teaching men how to collect and guard their balls
Cause he sure his balless, prolly his wife and her sister are using it to play ping-pong on a table of "sweet-marriage"
They all need counselling, even the lady that's planning to drop her husband like a bomb
Wonders and Man!

wow! I honestly think he should get a divorce... But let him forget about the other lady... It's too early.. he needs some time to clear his head and make the right decisions

1realBobby:
wow! I honestly think he should get a divorce... But let him forget about the other lady... It's too early.. he needs some time to clear his head and make the right decisions

My real gee . How is your 2k vip gambling group going? I heard u have only 2 members curently. U and one of ur uncles

Cc BETPAWA
2019prophets
1realbobby
Lhimeet

I don't know your friend, but one thing i know about story telling is that the teller always make it appear as the victim. I can't hurt a fly, my partner is the devil incarnate.

We must know that the razzmatazz and ferrytale in marriage slowly fades away. Therefore, there ought to be something tangible that can be held on to when the euphoria has fizzled out.

In Matthew 11:8, Jesus asked the crowd this question," what went ye out into the wilderness to see?". In the same vain, i ask your friend what was it that moved him to choose his wife as the one to build his home with? And how does he expect to possess the land flowing with milk and honey unless he first cross over the Jordan? Or how does he expect to plunder a strong man's house except he first bind the man? Marriage is no different.

If he wants to take the seemingly easy route out, what will he do if he begins to experience similar challenges with the new lady?

Another relationship is often not the best option. He will soon realize that he was in a vulnerable position that was why the succour the new lady offered seem heaven to him.

Let him first know what he wants out of his marriage(it doesn't matter how long he has been married) then, let him begin to take charge of his home. First spiritually and then otherwise.

placeofallure:
Though Yoruba, he got married to an Igbo lady about 10 years ago and they have 2 kids together. Trouble started in their marriage when the wife's immediate younger sister (she's in her 30s) started living with them.

MADNESS #1
unless they have a spare room, there is no way some family member should come and stay with your family. also, there is a need for you guys to actually ENJOY this union and family life, and that wont be possible with a stranger on your neck from the get go of marriage.

Initially they were fine but at a time the wife became arrogant

MADNESS #2
the minute wifey stepped out of line then hubby should have put her back in her place.... especially in front of sister! if nothing is done then wifey is disrespectful and little sister will lose respect and start to treat you like shiiit too. haba!

and the sister too became overbearing such that she sleeps with them in the bedroom or even sleeps on their marital bed. The man would sleep either on the couch in the living room or the guest room. According to him, he complained to the wife but she was adamant about it

MADNESS #3
you leave your marital bed for lil sis to come and sleep there. what kind of donkey must you be?! tell her to get the hell out from your bed and if they want to sleep together, then let them use the spare room, et voila!

rather they both connive many times to harass the man out of the house. He has a simple nature and they took advantage. They got him arrested once but the police on listening to the man's side of the story asked him to go without collecting a farthing from him.

MADNESS #4
... they could have possibly called the police on him, YES, but by the time the cops had arrived it should have been their corpse they find!
ARRANT NOLLYWOOD SCRIPT NONSENSE!!!!

Gradually, things degenerated between them and for over a year now, they stopped making love but they still live together and the man still provides for the family.

MADNESS #5
what for exactly?! the union is over...pack your stuff and leave!

Family members have tried to mediate to no avail but the lady's family especially, are non-chalant about it. The girl's mother was reported to have even said that " Marriage is not by force!" After the mediation, it was agreed that the wife's sister, who has lived with them for about 7 years, should look for another place to stay. She moved out in January. This isn't so effective as the couple still don't have sex together and the wife doesn't cook his meal still. Before she doesn't cook for him at all, now she does it once in a while.

lol, such a waste of life!

Now, not too long ago, he met a lady.
The chemistry between them is strong, so strong ithat he's willing to give up everything to be with her. He wants to relocate abroad with her. I've seen her a couple of times or so. She's good really, but she's married and looking to leave her husband. Her marriage of 8 years is childless and she wants to try elsewhere. The problem seems to be with her husband.

FINAL MADNESS
before that fool starts to look elsewhere, let him 1st sort his messed up life out! he is in NO CONDITION whatsoever to look for a r/ship outside. he should do what is right.... 1st divorce the animal he is married to, then 2nd when all is clear, seek for another babe THAT IS SINGLE. going after a woman who is already married is not only very stoopid, it is also very dangerous!

1realBobby:
wow! I honestly think he should get a divorce... But let him forget about the other lady... It's too early.. he needs some time to clear his head and make the right decisions

divorce just like suicide is the 21st century solution to every challenge right?

confusion everywhere

1realBobby:
wow! I honestly think he should get a divorce... But let him forget about the other lady... It's too early.. he needs some time to clear his head and make the right decisions

Divorce?? oh puleez c'mon.
Don't make it common over here too

Hmmmmn.... Following....

Really in between d devil and the deep blue sea.. Although we haven't heard from the wife's part but if we should go with the above, then I feel he should properly file for a divorce. As for the other lady he wants to travel abroad with, it may not end all well and rosy at the end because she is about to ditch a man who maybe is good husband and caring aside the inability to get her a baby. Don't forget she said she wants to TRY someone else. BIG GAMBLE!!!
There is this romantic rush when u are just meeting someone but trust me, reality sets in after sometime. He can't afford to suffer at two ends in the long run.

Bottom line is that he needs to be very careful with this his chemistry lady

YoungAncient1:
divorce just like suicide is the 21st century solution to every challenge right?

in this case ..yes!!

this story is packed with confusion.
i think the op is some how in love with the guy in question.
by the way, have you tried to find out why the wife changed?

Sounds more like a mumu nature than simple nature. He allows that rubbish in his house. For someone to come and destroy his home...chase him out of his bedroom. What nonsense!

If he had been more firm, all these wouldn't have happened.

What is the point in living like roommates? Let him call her and have a discussion. Tell her that things have been bad between them for long and it would take the grace of God to resolve it.

Tell her he has become fond of someone else and would want her consent to date the lady since things are not working between them.

Her reaction will let him know how to move forward.

seyigiggle:
this story is packed with confusion.
i think the op is some how in love with the guy in question.
by the way, have you tried to find out why the wife changed?

There's no confusion anywhere. You seem to be the only one confused here. Now I am the OP and if you're conversant with my posts here, you'll realise I hardly make a comment without making reference to my husband. I'm happily married.The guy in question is just a friend I am genuinely concerned about.

Now to your other question, I have tried to find out why the wife snapped. It happened when the sister came to live with them. I even asked him if he cheated, he said No! I think the wife just allowed herself to be influenced negatively, she might be cheating too. One year+ is a long time to stay away from banana, Damn!

Nawa ooo, marriage ehhh

the guy should just divorce her first, then clear his baggage before entering into a new relationship. as for the woman who wants to leave her husband, let him not carry load that he is not sure of

Lalasticlala..
Please help someone here please.

Lalasticlala..
Someone here needs your help

1realBobby:
wow! I honestly think he should get a divorce... But let him forget about the other lady... It's too early.. he needs some time to clear his head and make the right decisions

I agree with this
If he is getting a girlfriend on the rebound, or much rightly later? Please let it be someone else, not that woman that wants to “try elsewhere” rather callously.
She may not also be kind to him when the chips are down.

[






















Well this a very sensitive matter but dear you know in a relationship issue,one needs to hear from both sides to make decision.No matter how u trust d other party,u have to give benefit of doubt.
I think the man has to stay with his wife cos marriage is for better or worse.
I take it to God in prayers and i believe when God touches the heart of the woman,there will be a positive change.Let him believe in prayers its the only solution not to run to another woman who has been childless.
Keep up the good works

















quote author=placeofallure post=77214348]I'm appalled at the way marriages hit the wall in these recent times. This generation is guilty! We're not getting it right at all.

A few months ago, I ran into a childhood friend. He was my neighbor and playmate when we were growing up. Neighborhood changed and we weren't in touch anymore. Fast forward till late last year when we met again. He's married now with kids and seems to be doing fine. After meeting up a few more occasions, he decided to open up to me. All is not well with his marriage.

Though Yoruba, he got married to an Igbo lady about 10 years ago and they have 2 kids together. Trouble started in their marriage when the wife's immediate younger sister (she's in her 30s) started living with them. Initially they were fine but at a time the wife became arrogant and the sister too became overbearing such that she sleeps with them in the bedroom or even sleeps on their marital bed. The man would sleep either on the couch in the living room or the guest room. According to him, he complained to the wife but she was adamant about it, rather they both connive many times to harass the man out of the house. He has a simple nature and they took advantage. They got him arrested once but the police on listening to the man's side of the story asked him to go without collecting a farthing from him.

Gradually, things degenerated between them and for over a year now, they stopped making love but they still live together and the man still provides for the family.

Family members have tried to mediate to no avail but the lady's family especially, are non-chalant about it. The girl's mother was reported to have even said that " Marriage is not by force!" After the mediation, it was agreed that the wife's sister, who has lived with them for about 7 years, should look for another place to stay. She moved out in January. This isn't so effective as the couple still don't have sex together and the wife doesn't cook his meal still. Before she doesn't cook for him at all, now she does it once in a while.

Now, not too long ago, he met a lady.
The chemistry between them is strong, so strong ithat he's willing to give up everything to be with her. He wants to relocate abroad with her. I've seen her a couple of times or so. She's good really, but she's married and looking to leave her husband. Her marriage of 8 years is childless and she wants to try elsewhere. The problem seems to be with her husband.

Having listened to his sorry tale, he wants advice pretty urgently. How old am I in family matters? The guy is even older than me, we just happen to be friends. I feel sorry for him but I don't know what to tell him.

Nairaland to the rescue![/quote]

Rawhumper:
[






















Well this a very sensitive matter but dear you know in a relationship issue,one needs to hear from both sides to make decision.No matter how u trust d other party,u have to give benefit of doubt.
I think the man has to stay with his wife cos marriage is for better or worse.
I take it to God in prayers and i believe when God touches the heart of the woman,there will be a positive change.Let him believe in prayers its the only solution not to run to another woman who has been childless.
Keep up the good works

















quote author=placeofallure post=77214348]I'm appalled at the way marriages hit the wall in these recent times. This generation is guilty! We're not getting it right at all.

A few months ago, I ran into a childhood friend. He was my neighbor and playmate when we were growing up. Neighborhood changed and we weren't in touch anymore. Fast forward till late last year when we met again. He's married now with kids and seems to be doing fine. After meeting up a few more occasions, he decided to open up to me. All is not well with his marriage.

Though Yoruba, he got married to an Igbo lady about 10 years ago and they have 2 kids together. Trouble started in their marriage when the wife's immediate younger sister (she's in her 30s) started living with them. Initially they were fine but at a time the wife became arrogant and the sister too became overbearing such that she sleeps with them in the bedroom or even sleeps on their marital bed. The man would sleep either on the couch in the living room or the guest room. According to him, he complained to the wife but she was adamant about it, rather they both connive many times to harass the man out of the house. He has a simple nature and they took advantage. They got him arrested once but the police on listening to the man's side of the story asked him to go without collecting a farthing from him.

Gradually, things degenerated between them and for over a year now, they stopped making love but they still live together and the man still provides for the family.

Family members have tried to mediate to no avail but the lady's family especially, are non-chalant about it. The girl's mother was reported to have even said that " Marriage is not by force!" After the mediation, it was agreed that the wife's sister, who has lived with them for about 7 years, should look for another place to stay. She moved out in January. This isn't so effective as the couple still don't have sex together and the wife doesn't cook his meal still. Before she doesn't cook for him at all, now she does it once in a while.

Now, not too long ago, he met a lady.
The chemistry between them is strong, so strong ithat he's willing to give up everything to be with her. He wants to relocate abroad with her. I've seen her a couple of times or so. She's good really, but she's married and looking to leave her husband. Her marriage of 8 years is childless and she wants to try elsewhere. The problem seems to be with her husband.

Having listened to his sorry tale, he wants advice pretty urgently. How old am I in family matters? The guy is even older than me, we just happen to be friends. I feel sorry for him but I don't know what to tell him.

Nairaland to the rescue!

Thanks, I appreciate.

My pleasure my lady....will always give the little i have to add value to peoples life














author=placeofallure post=89078688]

Thanks, I appreciate.[/quote]

placeofallure:


Thanks, I appreciate.

Madam, this thread is a year plus.

Please give us updates.

What happened?

bukatyne:


Madam, this thread is a year plus.

Please give us updates.

What happened?

AprokoNigeriaLimited, You want updates? My friend is still going out with the lady. Nothing has changed. The wife , according to him, is still denying him. Infact, he said he doesn't ask anymore. He has travelled to his home town to inform the dad about the new lady. They will get an apartment and move in together soon.. that's as far as I know.

placeofallure:


AprokoNigeriaLimited, You want updates? My friend is still going out with the lady. Nothing has changed. The wife , according to him, is still denying him. Infact, he said he doesn't ask anymore. He has travelled to his home town to inform the dad about the new lady. They will get an apartment and move in together soon.. that's as far as I know.

See you O!

So you whet our appetite with this time of tory and cannot deem it fit to update us.

To in essence, the marriage is over.

It would have been nice to hear from the wife what happened.

Another one bites the dust.

placeofallure:


AprokoNigeriaLimited, You want updates? My friend is still going out with the lady. Nothing has changed. The wife , according to him, is still denying him. Infact, he said he doesn't ask anymore. He has travelled to his home town to inform the dad about the new lady. They will get an apartment and move in together soon.. that's as far as I know.

How I dont know how many months, years or centuries since this post. Please give me updates o or better still let me speak with the man in question

Home Hijacked. Mayday ,May Day. Roof is on Fire. Don't Ignore.

Fearcom:



How I dont know how many months, years or centuries since this post. Please give me updates o or better still let me speak with the man in question

The outcome of the story is what you have just quoted now. It's about a year now, are you some kind of marriage counselor? Dunno why you wanna speak with the man. I'm curious.

[






Wishing a wonderfully made lady of class...a very happy and splendid buffday!


May your lovely days on earth be one of joy and love.


Hip hip hip!
Hurray!!!!

Hope you really enjoyed your day,today is your special day dearie.

Stay safe.











quote author=placeofallure post=77214348]I'm appalled at the way marriages hit the wall in these recent times. This generation is guilty! We're not getting it right at all.

A few months ago, I ran into a childhood friend. He was my neighbor and playmate when we were growing up. Neighborhood changed and we weren't in touch anymore. Fast forward till late last year when we met again. He's married now with kids and seems to be doing fine. After meeting up a few more occasions, he decided to open up to me. All is not well with his marriage.

Though Yoruba, he got married to an Igbo lady about 10 years ago and they have 2 kids together. Trouble started in their marriage when the wife's immediate younger sister (she's in her 30s) started living with them. Initially they were fine but at a time the wife became arrogant and the sister too became overbearing such that she sleeps with them in the bedroom or even sleeps on their marital bed. The man would sleep either on the couch in the living room or the guest room. According to him, he complained to the wife but she was adamant about it, rather they both connive many times to harass the man out of the house. He has a simple nature and they took advantage. They got him arrested once but the police on listening to the man's side of the story asked him to go without collecting a farthing from him.

Gradually, things degenerated between them and for over a year now, they stopped making love but they still live together and the man still provides for the family.

Family members have tried to mediate to no avail but the lady's family especially, are non-chalant about it. The girl's mother was reported to have even said that " Marriage is not by force!" After the mediation, it was agreed that the wife's sister, who has lived with them for about 7 years, should look for another place to stay. She moved out in January. This isn't so effective as the couple still don't have sex together and the wife doesn't cook his meal still. Before she doesn't cook for him at all, now she does it once in a while.

Now, not too long ago, he met a lady.
The chemistry between them is strong, so strong ithat he's willing to give up everything to be with her. He wants to relocate abroad with her. I've seen her a couple of times or so. She's good really, but she's married and looking to leave her husband. Her marriage of 8 years is childless and she wants to try elsewhere. The problem seems to be with her husband.

Having listened to his sorry tale, he wants advice pretty urgently. How old am I in family matters? The guy is even older than me, we just happen to be friends. I feel sorry for him but I don't know what to tell him.

Nairaland to the rescue![/quote]