I have advised him to start a new life and that the boy will come back to look for him in the future, but my friend is yet to heed to my advice.

Tadeknkeepcalm:

This is not a good advice. Tell him to get to court.

88Craze:
If he ignores the boy, the boy will be manipulated by the wife, the boy will grow up hating his father.

fykes:
How long have they been separated?
How far apart do they live?
Both of them are living in lagos
Did he physically assault her before she left?
The lady physically assault my friend and he got to a point he had to scamper for safety and that point he left her
How old is the boy?
The boy is 4 years
Does he want only the boy or he really wants his marriage back?
He only wants the boy

If u can truthfully answer.. I can truthfully tell him steps to take.

fykes:

The advice is good and time tested...
U obviously have little knowledge of court proceedings and marriage laws.
The only downside of that advice is that without a father figure d boy may have been badly damaged by the time he comes back to his father.

But will he come back, sure thing... A woman can't keep a boy under her for very long

Tadeknkeepcalm:

So that "only downside" is nothing right?
Research on what happens to children withouts father figures.
So what is it that I don't know about court proceedings Mr. Smartypants, please lecture me.
So seeking proper divorce that will enable him secure, at the very least an arrangement to see his child, and cater for his needs is an impossibility?
Seriously, please lecture me.

JONNYSPUTE:
....Pls forget about the guy and his foolish advice.

You are right about him going to court.

JONNYSPUTE:
....Pls forget about the guy and his foolish advice.

You are right about him going to court.

That's how so many weak men lose their children because they are scared of court proceedings.

No matter what,going to court is still the best option unless he has been maltreating the wife.

Even at that,the court will still grant him some visitation right.

samguru:

uncivil remarks/comments are not necessary my brother.

I only offered that advice, so that peace can reign and protect the child from being hurt by the lady.

samguru:


How much does it cost to file a proper divorce?

JONNYSPUTE:
...I don't really know cause I'm not a lawyer but even if he can't file for a proper divorce now,he can go to human rights and file for child visitation.

JONNYSPUTE:
....Pls forget about the guy and his foolish advice.

You are right about him going to court.

That's how so many weak men lose their children because they are scared of court proceedings.

No matter what,going to court is still the best option unless he has been maltreating the wife.

Even at that,the court will still grant him some visitation right.

samguru:


Thank you, do you know any human right activist i can contact?

fykes:

The advice is good and time tested...
U obviously have little knowledge of court proceedings and marriage laws.
The only downside of that advice is that without a father figure d boy may have been badly damaged by the time he comes back to his father.

But will he come back, sure thing... A woman can't keep a boy under her for very long

SmartyPants:


Hmmm. You don't seem like you have a lot yourself.

At the very least, the Court will award visitation rights.

samguru:


What I found disturbing about the child custody is that, the lady abandoned the boy with her mother and relocate to another area.

Mindlog:
Your friend has a right to actively be in the life of his son as long as no competent court has deemed him unfit to be near the boy based on violent nature or mental health disorder(s).

Since both parents are in Lagos, l will advise your friend to seek out the Family Social Service office, which is under the Lagos State Ministry of Youth and Social Development if am not mistaken and establish the situation. The wife will be summoned and told to bring the boy along.

fykes:

Since they both live in Lagos, his best option is visitation rights... Obviously under supervision which means he can't visit the boy in her home. It has to be an arranged meeting between him and the boy.

Please avoid all those go to court things... Nobody will grant a man custody of a four years old boy except if the mother is incapacitated. Even if she can't afford his fees, d court will choose a govt school and mandate the Man to pay his fees into s court account.
In fact, every involvement of the law will turn out against him until that boy is at least 11 or 12 yrs old.
Cos in the eyes of the law, he abdicated his duties and absconded from home unless he can provide evidence of her assault.

Now to his options,

JONNYSPUTE:
.....So from where will he get the visitation right or permit?

You didn't include that in your writeup. Besides,nobody here asked to go to court and file for child's custody.

Tadeknkeepcalm:

So that "only downside" is nothing right?
Research on what happens to children withouts father figures.
So what is it that I don't know about court proceedings Mr. Smartypants, please lecture me.
So seeking proper divorce that will enable him secure, at the very least an arrangement to see his child, and cater for his needs is an impossibility?
Seriously, please lecture me.

fykes:

Oga do u know how long divorce proceedings take in court?
If u go to court and ask for visitation right to ur child as a man, d court will ask if u r divorced or separated? Separated. U have to show evidence of ur past welfare contributions since u separated.
Show proof that since u left d house u have even sent a dime for his upkeep. Courts and marriage laws are designed to protect women whether u like it or not.
The only people with whom he can cut a deal until d boy is old enough is her family.
Even if u have evidence of welfare contributions, which I doubt in this case, nothing is granted to him that will be to the discomfort of the wife.

fykes:
I see lots of folks who do not know any lawyer or human right activist and have also refused to even use google.
People who do not care about what the law says talking about going to court.
Isn't it funny??
Op... Visit any magistrate court and enquire about divorce proceedings and it's legal framework.
Then come back here and tell us ur findings and ur decisions

JONNYSPUTE:
....You re confusing yourself. Where did ask him to file for divorce?

Even if I did,during the proceedings,he will be giving visitation right until the divorce process is being finalized.

The way you paint our law is not how it is.

I have friends who got determinant judgement on divorce cases on the first hearing especially on their visitation rights.

We are not privileged to know if he has been contributing to the child's welfare or not because what is stated here is that the lady has made it impossible for him to have access to the boy thereby truncating every available means for him to be part of his child.

The best option still remains the court of competent jurisdiction.

samguru:


The marriage was consummated at Ikoyi Registry (Federal government) and i think magistrate court lacks jurisdiction over the case.