Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,165,939 members, 7,863,315 topics. Date: Monday, 17 June 2024 at 03:09 PM

What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? (2862 Views)

Father Asked His Son To Have A Haircut. Then The Son Did This (Photos) / Father From Anambra Disowns His Son On Newspaper (Photo) / Hilarious Photo Of Groom’s Father Watching His Son Rock His New Bride (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (Reply) (Go Down)

What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by samguru(m): 9:38am On Aug 05, 2020
Good day Nairalanders,

My friend is separated from his wife since 2016 due to intolerable behaviours of his wife. My friend on a several occasions has asked his wife(I still considered them married since they are not legally separated) to open account for his son and also furnish him with details of his son's school so that he can start paying his child school fees.
The adamant wife refused to do so and even took the boy far away from him.Everyday my friend is pained that his wife has not allowed him to access the child and discharge his fatherly responsibilities.

I have advised him to start a new life and that the boy will come back to look for him in the future, but my friend is yet to heed to my advice.

what other things can he do to reconnect with his son?

1 Like

Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by 88Craze: 9:43am On Aug 05, 2020
If he ignores the boy, the boy will be manipulated by the wife, the boy will grow up hating his father.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by Nobody: 9:52am On Aug 05, 2020
I have advised him to start a new life and that the boy will come back to look for him in the future, but my friend is yet to heed to my advice.
This is not a good advice. Tell him to get to court.

2 Likes

Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by fykes(m): 9:55am On Aug 05, 2020
How long have they been separated?
How far apart do they live?
Did he physically assault her before she left?
How old is the boy?
Does he want only the boy or he really wants his marriage back?

If u can truthfully answer.. I can truthfully tell him steps to take.

6 Likes

Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by fykes(m): 9:57am On Aug 05, 2020
Tadeknkeepcalm:

This is not a good advice. Tell him to get to court.
The advice is good and time tested...
U obviously have little knowledge of court proceedings and marriage laws.
The only downside of that advice is that without a father figure d boy may have been badly damaged by the time he comes back to his father.

But will he come back, sure thing... A woman can't keep a boy under her for very long

1 Like

Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by samguru(m): 9:59am On Aug 05, 2020
88Craze:
If he ignores the boy, the boy will be manipulated by the wife, the boy will grow up hating his father.

This lady is very violent, he threatened to kill that boy when my friend visited the boy at her mother's house.At that point I told him to stop checking on the child.

I spoke with the lady about allowing my friend to see the boy, she told me according to their tradition once divorce has occurred the father loose the child to the her family.
Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by samguru(m): 10:02am On Aug 05, 2020
fykes:
How long have they been separated?
How far apart do they live?
Both of them are living in lagos
Did he physically assault her before she left?
The lady physically assault my friend and he got to a point he had to scamper for safety and that point he left her
How old is the boy?
The boy is 4 years
Does he want only the boy or he really wants his marriage back?
He only wants the boy

If u can truthfully answer.. I can truthfully tell him steps to take.
Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by Nobody: 10:46am On Aug 05, 2020
fykes:

The advice is good and time tested...
U obviously have little knowledge of court proceedings and marriage laws.
The only downside of that advice is that without a father figure d boy may have been badly damaged by the time he comes back to his father.

But will he come back, sure thing... A woman can't keep a boy under her for very long
So that "only downside" is nothing right?
Research on what happens to children withouts father figures.
So what is it that I don't know about court proceedings Mr. Smartypants, please lecture me.
So seeking proper divorce that will enable him secure, at the very least an arrangement to see his child, and cater for his needs is an impossibility?
Seriously, please lecture me.

10 Likes

Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by JONNYSPUTE(m): 11:12am On Aug 05, 2020
Tadeknkeepcalm:

So that "only downside" is nothing right?
Research on what happens to children withouts father figures.
So what is it that I don't know about court proceedings Mr. Smartypants, please lecture me.
So seeking proper divorce that will enable him secure, at the very least an arrangement to see his child, and cater for his needs is an impossibility?
Seriously, please lecture me.
....Pls forget about the guy and his foolish advice.

You are right about him going to court.

That's how so many weak men lose their children because they are scared of court proceedings.

No matter what,going to court is still the best option unless he has been maltreating the wife.

Even at that,the court will still grant him some visitation right.

4 Likes

Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by samguru(m): 11:21am On Aug 05, 2020
JONNYSPUTE:
....Pls forget about the guy and his foolish advice.

You are right about him going to court.
uncivil remarks/comments are not necessary my brother.

I only offered that advice, so that peace can reign and protect the child from being hurt by the lady.
Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by samguru(m): 11:24am On Aug 05, 2020
JONNYSPUTE:
....Pls forget about the guy and his foolish advice.

You are right about him going to court.

That's how so many weak men lose their children because they are scared of court proceedings.

No matter what,going to court is still the best option unless he has been maltreating the wife.

Even at that,the court will still grant him some visitation right.

How much does it cost to file a proper divorce?
Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by JONNYSPUTE(m): 11:27am On Aug 05, 2020
samguru:

uncivil remarks/comments are not necessary my brother.

I only offered that advice, so that peace can reign and protect the child from being hurt by the lady.
....Then better don't dish out an advice that will only bring about sorrows and tears at the long run.

Tell him to go to court and they will grant him some visitation right.

Do you know what he is passsing tru by not seeing his son? Or you think it is easy for him to move on?

Well,I guess you re not yet married or have kids .

Sorry if I was harsh.

2 Likes

Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by JONNYSPUTE(m): 11:28am On Aug 05, 2020
samguru:


How much does it cost to file a proper divorce?
...I don't really know cause I'm not a lawyer but even if he can't file for a proper divorce now,he can go to human rights and file for child visitation.
Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by samguru(m): 11:30am On Aug 05, 2020
JONNYSPUTE:
...I don't really know cause I'm not a lawyer but even if he can't file for a proper divorce now,he can go to human rights and file for child visitation.

Thank you, do you know any human right activist i can contact?
Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by Nobody: 11:31am On Aug 05, 2020
JONNYSPUTE:
....Pls forget about the guy and his foolish advice.

You are right about him going to court.

That's how so many weak men lose their children because they are scared of court proceedings.

No matter what,going to court is still the best option unless he has been maltreating the wife.

Even at that,the court will still grant him some visitation right.
I wonder o. All these idiots forming redpillers

1 Like

Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by JONNYSPUTE(m): 11:38am On Aug 05, 2020
samguru:


Thank you, do you know any human right activist i can contact?
.....I don't bro but he can look out for any WACOL centre in his state and report the matter.

They have lawyers and human rights there.

But if he is financially stable,filing a case in a law court is the best option cause if the court gives judgement,its final but human rights and WACOL will only give a temporary relief to him just to be seeing his son and there won't be any consequence on the part of his wife if she didn't keep up to the agreement.

So going to court is still the best option.

1 Like

Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by SmartyPants(m): 1:47pm On Aug 05, 2020
fykes:

The advice is good and time tested...
U obviously have little knowledge of court proceedings and marriage laws.
The only downside of that advice is that without a father figure d boy may have been badly damaged by the time he comes back to his father.

But will he come back, sure thing... A woman can't keep a boy under her for very long

Hmmm. You don't seem like you have a lot yourself.

At the very least, the Court will award visitation rights.
Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by samguru(m): 2:06pm On Aug 05, 2020
SmartyPants:


Hmmm. You don't seem like you have a lot yourself.

At the very least, the Court will award visitation rights.

What I found disturbing about the child custody is that, the lady abandoned the boy with her mother and relocate to another area.
Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by SmartyPants(m): 2:17pm On Aug 05, 2020
samguru:


What I found disturbing about the child custody is that, the lady abandoned the boy with her mother and relocate to another area.

What about the threat to the child's life??

That man needs to act.
Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by Sonfethopia: 3:03pm On Aug 05, 2020
First things first, first of all how old is the child? I'm asking because you can't file custody for a child younger than six years, all your friend can do now is fight for visitation rights. He may not need to go to the court, all he needs to do is go to the police tell them what's happening ,they will call the woman's family and they will appear. After interrogation, you will ask them to sign that they won't deny you access to your child. Police can also take you to welfare , once you do that the family is in soup. Na them go call u beg.
Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by Mindlog: 3:06pm On Aug 05, 2020
Your friend has a right to actively be in the life of his son as long as no competent court has deemed him unfit to be near the boy based on violent nature or mental health disorder(s).

Since both parents are in Lagos, l will advise your friend to seek out the Family Social Service office, which is under the Lagos State Ministry of Youth and Social Development if am not mistaken and establish the situation. The wife will be summoned and told to bring the boy along.

1 Like

Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by JONNYSPUTE(m): 3:22pm On Aug 05, 2020
Mindlog:
Your friend has a right to actively be in the life of his son as long as no competent court has deemed him unfit to be near the boy based on violent nature or mental health disorder(s).

Since both parents are in Lagos, l will advise your friend to seek out the Family Social Service office, which is under the Lagos State Ministry of Youth and Social Development if am not mistaken and establish the situation. The wife will be summoned and told to bring the boy along.
....Nice one here.

1 Like

Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by fykes(m): 3:47pm On Aug 05, 2020
Since they both live in Lagos, his best option is visitation rights... Obviously under supervision which means he can't visit the boy in her home. It has to be an arranged meeting between him and the boy.

Please avoid all those go to court things... Nobody will grant a man custody of a four years old boy except if the mother is incapacitated. Even if she can't afford his fees, d court will choose a govt school and mandate the Man to pay his fees into s court account.
In fact, every involvement of the law will turn out against him until that boy is at least 11 or 12 yrs old to speak for himself.
Cos in the eyes of the law, he abdicated his duties and absconded from home unless he can provide evidence of her assault. Remember that we haven't heard from the woman and she prolly has something to accuse him of.

Now to his options,
All d whole welfare talk, especially in Lagos state is fashioned to protect the boy. The most welfare will do is to ask u both to contribute to the boys upkeep and regulate ur compliance to the terms of agreement. That's a cold war.
If he wants his son, he NEEDS to go back to where he married her from. Go back to her family with his own family and ask them to summon their daughter.
Any recourse to the court, police, welfare, he will be milked dry until he will even run away from the boy.

One thing is against him with the law, he left the house, she didn't. Except ofcos, if he has evidence of her assault. Goodluck
Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by JONNYSPUTE(m): 3:52pm On Aug 05, 2020
fykes:

Since they both live in Lagos, his best option is visitation rights... Obviously under supervision which means he can't visit the boy in her home. It has to be an arranged meeting between him and the boy.

Please avoid all those go to court things... Nobody will grant a man custody of a four years old boy except if the mother is incapacitated. Even if she can't afford his fees, d court will choose a govt school and mandate the Man to pay his fees into s court account.
In fact, every involvement of the law will turn out against him until that boy is at least 11 or 12 yrs old.
Cos in the eyes of the law, he abdicated his duties and absconded from home unless he can provide evidence of her assault.

Now to his options,
.....So from where will he get the visitation right or permit?

You didn't include that in your writeup. Besides,nobody here asked to go to court and file for child's custody.
Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by fykes(m): 3:59pm On Aug 05, 2020
JONNYSPUTE:
.....So from where will he get the visitation right or permit?

You didn't include that in your writeup. Besides,nobody here asked to go to court and file for child's custody.
Oga do u know how long divorce proceedings take in court?
If u go to court and ask for visitation right to ur child as a man, d court will ask if u r divorced or separated? Separated. U have to show evidence of ur past welfare contributions since u separated.
Show proof that since u left d house u have even sent a dime for his upkeep. Courts and marriage laws are designed to protect women whether u like it or not.
The only people with whom he can cut a deal until d boy is old enough is her family.
Even if u have evidence of welfare contributions, which I doubt in this case, nothing is granted to him that will be to the discomfort of the wife.
Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by fykes(m): 4:10pm On Aug 05, 2020
Tadeknkeepcalm:

So that "only downside" is nothing right?
Research on what happens to children withouts father figures.
So what is it that I don't know about court proceedings Mr. Smartypants, please lecture me.
So seeking proper divorce that will enable him secure, at the very least an arrangement to see his child, and cater for his needs is an impossibility?
Seriously, please lecture me.
I understand u. Folks like u are more emotional than rational.
U treat sensitive issues with emotions and often than not, u get burnt.
Unfortunately, the law is an ass.. Only d wise can ride
Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by JONNYSPUTE(m): 4:25pm On Aug 05, 2020
fykes:

Oga do u know how long divorce proceedings take in court?
If u go to court and ask for visitation right to ur child as a man, d court will ask if u r divorced or separated? Separated. U have to show evidence of ur past welfare contributions since u separated.
Show proof that since u left d house u have even sent a dime for his upkeep. Courts and marriage laws are designed to protect women whether u like it or not.
The only people with whom he can cut a deal until d boy is old enough is her family.
Even if u have evidence of welfare contributions, which I doubt in this case, nothing is granted to him that will be to the discomfort of the wife.
....You re confusing yourself. Where did ask him to file for divorce?

Even if I did,during the proceedings,he will be giving visitation right until the divorce process is being finalized.

The way you paint our law is not how it is.

I have friends who got determinant judgement on divorce cases on the first hearing especially on their visitation rights.

We are not privileged to know if he has been contributing to the child's welfare or not because what is stated here is that the lady has made it impossible for him to have access to the boy thereby truncating every available means for him to be part of his child.

The best option still remains the court of competent jurisdiction.
Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by fykes(m): 4:25pm On Aug 05, 2020
I see lots of folks who do not know any lawyer or human right activist and have also refused to even use google.
People who do not care about what the law says talking about going to court.
Isn't it funny??
Op... Visit any magistrate court and enquire about divorce proceedings and it's legal framework.
Then come back here and tell us ur findings and ur decisions
Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by samguru(m): 4:33pm On Aug 05, 2020
fykes:
I see lots of folks who do not know any lawyer or human right activist and have also refused to even use google.
People who do not care about what the law says talking about going to court.
Isn't it funny??
Op... Visit any magistrate court and enquire about divorce proceedings and it's legal framework.
Then come back here and tell us ur findings and ur decisions

The marriage was consummated at Ikoyi Registry (Federal government) and i think magistrate court lacks jurisdiction over the case.
Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by fykes(m): 4:33pm On Aug 05, 2020
JONNYSPUTE:
....You re confusing yourself. Where did ask him to file for divorce?

Even if I did,during the proceedings,he will be giving visitation right until the divorce process is being finalized.

The way you paint our law is not how it is.

I have friends who got determinant judgement on divorce cases on the first hearing especially on their visitation rights.

We are not privileged to know if he has been contributing to the child's welfare or not because what is stated here is that the lady has made it impossible for him to have access to the boy thereby truncating every available means for him to be part of his child.

The best option still remains the court of competent jurisdiction.

Well since u asked for it... Divorce proceedings without children is very different than with chikdren. If ur friend got visitation rights it's simply cos the spouses don't live in the same town, d father has t travel or there are more than one child in the union. Or a situation where d woman admits that she can't cater for the kids in court.
The role of a court is first to employ every available gimmick to try and save the Marriage including using the children to bait both parents.
His visitation right is as temporary as fart. Maybe a few months to see if they can work out their differences and withdraw their case.
The op needs permanent solution and until dat boy grows enough, only his in-laws can guarantee him access to the boy
When u get to court, tell em u haven't been able to contribute cos the woman has been blocking u from it.
And d first thing u will win will be a bill of expenses to offset
Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by Righteousness89(m): 4:34pm On Aug 05, 2020
I still Believe they Could come back together as a Family..

Tell your Friend to seek not Just his son but He should seek for His Family. He is the head of that Home..

Let Him Humble Himself, leave Contentions, Arguments, who is right or who is Wrong,etc

Let Him leave all that , Surrender to JESUS, Get Genuinely Saved. The New life in Christ will Create ways for a New Home.. a New and Fresh Love..

I wish Him Godspeed!
Re: What Other Things Can He Do To Reconnect With His Son? by fykes(m): 4:35pm On Aug 05, 2020
samguru:


The marriage was consummated at Ikoyi Registry (Federal government) and i think magistrate court lacks jurisdiction over the case.
I said go ask what the law says... Marriage laws are customary laws.
A magistrate court will hear it.

(1) (2) (3) (Reply)

How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? / PHOTOS: Fighting Couple Strip Naked In Public / What If This Happens To You What You Gonna Do ? See (PHOTO INCLUDED)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 74
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.