[quote author=lacapine post=77328513]I

didn't day flogging is the solution. I said I flogged her.

So why was she flogged? Were you frustrated? So you quenched it on person picking body.

You think if I wanted to do something worse, I would be here asking questions?

you thought of taking her back to village, whats worst than that?

I don't have a problem with keeping male friends. She is in drama unit in church and there are guys there, they go for youth camp and there are guys there, they go for picnics and there are guys there. I have always said to her that there is nothing wrong with being friends with boys but she should know where to draw the line. Dating is what I am against.

i think you need to go and read a little bit of psychology. Look into your own life, point out those habits you've wanted to stop for years but was not able to. Now replace that habit of yours with your house maid's. Get my point.?

A 17 year old child having 5kids, does that sound like an achievement to you? Do you wish that for your own child? I can't post the pixs here for privacy reason.

Go to remote jungles of kenya or even your village and see wonders. Anyway that wasn't my point. The message i tried to convey was, its completely normal tosee a girl tripping for guys. Now you have to ask yourself other questions such as; why is the girl looking for emotional support from boys? Does she suffer from inferiority complex? Can she control herself at all? Why is she running from home?... Let me tell you this, when i was schooling, i liked coming home late. I didn't join any bad gang, i didnt go to any friend's place but i paced the road so slowly just so i can stay outside much longer.. My home wasn't peaceful.
If you truly like her like you say, then suffer your brain to come up with a solution and don't take the chicken way out. Unless you know you dont have time and patience to help the girl, then you can send her home.
And stop all that "don't do this, don't do that" statements. Its called reverse psychology, the girl would end up doing exactly what you said she shouldn't. Just like eve did in the bible.

[s]Your last paragraph just shows you didn't understand the post at all. May God forgive you.[/s]

Lets not pretend it isnt happening. God will forgive those who treat their house helps like slave not me. I dont need his saving. There are countless other souos that need him, let him save them first.

[quote author=kkins25 post=77440837][/quote]. Clap for yourself.

lacapine:
. Clap for yourself.

why do i get the feeling, deep down your mind you have decided to send her home. Better inform her parents before sending her home, if not you will still be blamed for spoiling their child, which we know you did not.

Hope when she was younger, she didnt accidentally watch those nollywood, gholywood, or Hollywood films(especially these one) with some sex scenes in them.
Dont blame me madam, im a science guy and in science we know human behaviour goes way beyond the mind. The body(physiological properties) has more power than the mind.

lacapine:
I have a 17 years old maid who would be 18 in June. She came when she was 12 and she is like family now. She is in SS1. My problem is her issues with boys. Always keeping boyfriends of which I discourage her big time. Had to ask her why she keeps them, she said because her classmates/ friends have boyfriends.

I have screamed and threatened but she will still keep. What am I doing wrong? Should I allow her just keep them? I teach her sex education though but she says she isn't sexually active. Today, I saw the picture she and the guy posted on facebook holding each other. I lost it today. I flogged and punished her. I'm I being too hard? How do I help her? We wanted to help her till university days but with these, we are scared and reconsidering sending her back after ss3.

How best do I handle this situation.

it does seem here the child required correction. Losing it isn't a good thing. Especially not with a 17 year old. She needs to understand the reason she's being caned is her behavior not that you lost it. After the flogging I would minister with her an d talk about what is expected of her

lacapine:
. Even my biological child, I flog. She doesn't see herself as an outsider and we have such a good relationship. If we didn't, she wouldn't have stayed 6 years and refusing to go. Mind you, she travels home.once in a while and comes back on her own accord. She understands the reason why she is being flogged and this morning, I sat her down and was talking to her again even though I was tired of talking.

Does the child cry when you flog her? If so let her finish crying then it is a good time to talk to her

[

Can You Tell me u have never flogged or slapped someone else's daughter or son?












quote author=ireneidiva post=77275772]
Stop flogging someone's child. If you can no longer handle her, send her back to her parents. Beating her is just wicked. Injure her and it becomes a police case.[/quote]

Since i have been Reading Nl, This one of The Best mentions dear.

I dont know what to Say, You really hit it on Point.
You exhibited wisdom and fairness.

Are You Single?














quote author=UjuJoan2 post=77276296]I don't subscribe to flogging an 18 year old. If you can no longer control her then send her home.

For me just one thing is important here? Is she still useful to you? Does she still render required services? If yes, then just ignore her. Stop paying too much attention to her social life. But don't miss any opportunity to define to her that if she gets pregnant she will be sent back to her parents ASAP. Just so she is sure of the implications of her actions.

Then you need to inform her parents of what she is doing and the efforts you have made to stop her, and her continuous flouting of rules. Also let them know that you have decided to stop talking about her waywardness since they keep falling on deaf ears, and lastly let them know your plan of returning her if she gets pregnant.. Just so they can start preparing their minds.

Don't give yourself high BP. The fact that you are not her mother already makes you the enemy. She will not believe you mean well for her, rather her adventurous mind will interprete your concerns as a way of preventing her from having fun. At this point, there is not much you can do to change that. She will come to the realization on her own when she is ready

Just let her be![/quote]