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Don't Become The Family ATM - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by Pavore9: 3:38pm On Apr 18, 2019
grafixdon:


Receive sense brother. Don't be too quick to call someone weak when you don't know the story. I have a aged mother. She has lost many of her children in the past (my siblings) I don't want to cause her more grief. That my brother can do it, he has drank bleach before and have attempted many suicides.

He's very handsome but find it difficult to steak with one woman, he doesn't have a good job, he stays in one room self contained. He's not doing well as such, sometimes he thinks the best is to end it.

I now understand better where you are coming from. If he has attempted many suicides there is certainty he can finally pull one through.

You can help your brother seek psychotherapy, for his life to have meaning to him and the financial assistance you give him to make sense. Cognitive behavioural therapy as an intervention will help him and you at the end.
Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by Nobody: 3:40pm On Apr 18, 2019
For me, I believe in giving responsibly and with sense. Don't give like a mugu or a show off.
As you help others, help yourself because at the end, you are responsible for yourself and your family's future. Don't help others to build their business or house while you are still living from hand to mouth.
As you do for others, set yourself and family up too for wealth sustenance God willing. Build your own too. Nobody knows tomorrow. They will ask you what you did with your money when the going was good. They won't remember you lavished it all on them.

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Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by Yakzo(m): 3:43pm On Apr 18, 2019
I used to be one not until one of my cousins who pesters me from time to time bought a plot of land while I did'nt have one!

15 Likes 1 Share

Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by pat077: 3:45pm On Apr 18, 2019
grafixdon:
This's so true. Infact I'm fed up. I've a brother who is always threatening suicide whenever I refused to give him money a 39years old brother. The last time he called me, he said this's going to be our last conversation, that he'll be gone in the next 2hrs..why? Because I asked him to account for the 120k I gave him some months ago.

He blackmail me all the time with suicide, he knows I care so much for the family, they think I've money.
why don't you give him a rope

2 Likes

Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by Ozkar: 3:48pm On Apr 18, 2019
sevo:


Hello, that 2b... Which app are you talking about that can help one save without touching it??
Piggybank and Cowrywise are two of the most popular. Alat (by Wema) also has a customizable saving/stash feature.
Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by Mypeople2(m): 3:49pm On Apr 18, 2019
sethtsadopp:
This is very true. Some family people will milk you dry and then taunt you when you go broke.

My guy,it is because you want to remain the only giver. Did you establish anybody? Always giving fishes without teaching someone else how to be rich is what is causing the excessive begging

1 Like

Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by davillian(m): 3:52pm On Apr 18, 2019
Bunch of greedy people on this post
Now tell me if you have not benefited from family and friends before you became balance financially.
I've been lifting people up and making them capable of feeding for them selves.
My belive we rise by lifting people up.
I can seat down without doing anything a d still get cash from people I've lifted.
They are eager to do favours for me when I ask.

1 Like

Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by chibuzorAbia: 3:56pm On Apr 18, 2019
OkaNaUbe:
True! But don't be stingy,


The point is that you shouldn't be taken for granted.

Be stingy if you wish to, it is your right and your money. I am very "stingy" according to them but guess what? My children are getting secured and getting a very good life. I give only when I can, or when I have loose change knocking about.

1 Like

Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by Nobody: 3:58pm On Apr 18, 2019
HEYWAYA:
In the part of Igboland where I come from, being the "family's ATM" is a time-tested way of lifting the whole family into wealth and prosperity.

There is a stark difference between being the "Family's ATM" and "lifting the whole family into wealth and prosperity" undecided

1 Like

Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by chibuzorAbia: 4:03pm On Apr 18, 2019
grafixdon:


Receive sense brother. Don't be too quick to call someone weak when you don't know the story. I have a aged mother. She has lost many of her children in the past (my siblings) I don't want to cause her more grief. That my brother can do it, he has drank bleach before and have attempted many suicides.

He's very handsome but find it difficult to steak with one woman, he doesn't have a good job, he stays in one room self contained. He's not doing well as such, sometimes he thinks the best is to end it.

Apologies. That your brother needs to face the harsh real world he is born into. So you will continue with this into your old age?
Goodluck bro! We live in a harsh world bro, if care is not taken that bro with his problem will bring you down! wait until you hit your 50s.
All the same good luck! The mad man is even going from woman to woman?

2 Likes

Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by chibuzorAbia: 4:06pm On Apr 18, 2019
Yakzo:
I used to be one not until one of my cousins who pesters me from time to time bought a plot of land while I did'nt have one!

This is when most people become wise ...........usually too late!

1 Like

Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by Ugosample(m): 4:12pm On Apr 18, 2019
Pavore9:


Men who still spend on their siblings and nephews/nieces, hoping they would cater for his children should he be no more are surely living in a fool's paradise.

Set up trust funds for your children, no matter how little, so that your children' education would not suffer in the event of the man's demise as am so tired of stories of " daddy died....dropped out of school...all those daddy helped ignored us"! angry

it's our curse as igbo men

wanting to carry ungrateful relatives along at our expense


it's terrible

5 Likes

Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by grafixdon: 4:14pm On Apr 18, 2019
chibuzorAbia:


Apologies. That your brother needs to face the harsh real world he is born into. So you will continue with this into your old age?
Goodluck bro! We live in a harsh world bro, if care is not taken that bro with his problem will bring you down! wait until you hit your 50s.
All the same good luck! The mad man is even going from woman to woman?

Thank you. His major issue is women. I can't count how many women he has dated. I'm not exaggerating, they are more than 500. He'll called and say he's found a wife, two weeks later if you ask him about the suppose wife, he will say 'don't mind that useless girl, I don't need her again... Women doesn't last a month with him

1 Like

Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by selemo: 4:17pm On Apr 18, 2019
sethtsadopp:
This is very true. Some family people will milk you dry and then taunt you when you go broke.

Kudos...
Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by selemo: 4:19pm On Apr 18, 2019
BruncleZuma:
Black Tax ...nah wah ooo
Black Tax,Black man...
Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by selemo: 4:21pm On Apr 18, 2019
Ugosample:


it's our curse as igbo men

wanting to carry ungrateful relatives along at our expense


it's terrible
That is why our life span is very low in this part of the world..

1 Like

Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by GloShare(m): 4:22pm On Apr 18, 2019
NobleAngell:
This is very good advice O. I just recently discovered that you can never exhaust all your responsibilities. They keep growing and giving birth to more. The only option is to pick the ones within your capacity. Don't overwhelm yourself trying to be the hero of your family.
Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by tboks(m): 4:23pm On Apr 18, 2019
sevo:


Hello, that 2b... Which app are you talking about that can help one save without touching it??
I know of Went Bank Alat. You can create your account online and do fixed savings that would be untouchable within the period you define.
Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by Martinez39(m): 4:28pm On Apr 18, 2019
grafixdon:
This's so true. Infact I'm fed up. I've a brother who is always threatening suicide whenever I refused to give him money a 39years old brother. The last time he called me, he said this's going to be our last conversation, that he'll be gone in the next 2hrs..why? Because I asked him to account for the 120k I gave him some months ago.

He blackmail me all the time with suicide, he knows I care so much for the family, they think I've money.
Keep on giving like a f00l. Why can't he go and work?

1 Like

Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by Hadampson(m): 4:29pm On Apr 18, 2019
FruitCakes:
My uncle came back from abroad rich,, everyone surrounded him.
Now that he's broke they are nowhere to be found
That taught me a valid lesson

That's human for you.

BTW happy birthday to you. Wish you LLNP with sound health, happiness and riches smiley

1 Like

Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by wonder233: 4:37pm On Apr 18, 2019
A family leech spotted
DAramis:
Your opinion is really biased. It is good to help but must be at a limit. Most times, it is even better to empty your account if the case is extreme.

Like my father once said, it makes no sense that you have money on your account while the family goes hungry.

Some people will never bring out money to help someone but once such person dies, the will bring enough money for his or her burial. May God never allow us to have such people in our lives

1 Like

Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by ediko5(m): 4:38pm On Apr 18, 2019
DAramis:
Your opinion is really biased. It is good to help but must be at a limit. Most times, it is even better to empty your account if the case is extreme.

Like my father once said, it makes no sense that you have money on your account while the family goes hungry.

Some people will never bring out money to help someone but once such person dies, the will bring enough money for his or her burial. May God never allow us to have such people in our lives
You are out of point.
You are also confused. Read carefully before you comment.
Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by sevo(m): 4:39pm On Apr 18, 2019
tboks:

I know of Went Bank Alat. You can create your account online and do fixed savings that would be untouchable within the period you define.

Thanks
Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by Martinez39(m): 4:39pm On Apr 18, 2019
DAramis:
Your opinion is really biased. It is good to help but must be at a limit. Most times, it is even better to empty your account if the case is extreme.

Like my father once said, it makes no sense that you have money on your account while the family goes hungry.

Some people will never bring out money to help someone but once such person dies, the will bring enough money for his or her burial. May God never allow us to have such people in our lives
Not everyone is your responsibility. Let everyone go and work. It's better to bring out money for someone's burial than to have him leeching off you all the rest of your life. The former is once and for all unlike the latter. No food for a lazy man, the world is harsh.

The same people that will leech you will abandon you during your down time. If your family member is hungry, let them go and work.

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Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by sevo(m): 4:40pm On Apr 18, 2019
Ozkar:
Piggybank and Cowrywise are two of the most popular. Alat (by Wema) also has a customizable saving/stash feature.

Thanks
Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by DAramis: 4:42pm On Apr 18, 2019
grin grin grin
wonder233:
A family leech spotted
Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by DAramis: 4:45pm On Apr 18, 2019
Martinez39:
Not everyone is your responsibility. Let everyone go and work. It's better to bring out money for someone's burial than to have him leeching off you all the rest of your life. The former is once and for all unlike the latter. No food for a lazy man, the world is harsh.

The same people that will leech you will abandon you during your down time. If your family member is hungry, let them go and work.
Bro, I understand your point but the part of bringing out money for someone's burial is the part I cannot share with you.

For example, if someone has never rendered help to someone that seeks it previously, I see no reason why you should contribute to his burial on the long run.

1 Like

Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by Martinez39(m): 4:45pm On Apr 18, 2019
DAramis:
Your opinion is really biased. It is good to help but must be at a limit. Most times, it is even better to empty your account if the case is extreme.

Like my father once said, it makes no sense that you have money on your account while the family goes hungry.

Some people will never bring out money to help someone but once such person dies, the will bring enough money for his or her burial. May God never allow us to have such people in our lives
Not everyone is your responsibility. Let everyone go and work. It's better to bring out money for someone's burial than to have him leeching off you all the rest of your life. The former is once and for all unlike the latter. No food for a lazy man, the world is harsh.

The same people that will leech you will abandon you during your down time. If your family member is hungry, let them go and work. You have your own household, others have theirs and you must work for yours as they work for theirs.

1 Like

Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by Nobody: 4:46pm On Apr 18, 2019
BoboDodo:
That is my goal in life, exactly to become the family ATM.
I would love to be able to help everybody as many times as I can. Nothing gives me more joy
I'm like you boss. I want to become an ocean for my family to drink.
Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by DAramis: 4:48pm On Apr 18, 2019
ediko5:

You are out of point.
You are also confused. Read carefully before you comment.
grin cheesy grin

I maybe out of point, but what I stated is a general summary of my opinion based on the topic's heading.

Bro(or sis) if you think otherwise, you can state yours why putting me in copy. The internet space is so big to contain all the information shared and we all learn everyday.
Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by Martinez39(m): 4:53pm On Apr 18, 2019
DAramis:

Bro, I understand your point but the part of bringing out money for someone's burial is the part I cannot share with you.

For example, if someone has never rendered help to someone that seeks it previously, I see no reason why you should contribute to his burial on the long run.
I didn't say you must bring out money for someone's burial. I only said it is better than having him leech off you. Even if you spend two billion dollars feeding people today, they will still get hungry again. Human needs can't be shut. So why not use the two billion dollars for yourself and family and live the remaining as inheritance? Why can't you tell the beggers to go and hustle that you owe them nothing?

Worse are the beggers that will use you to finance their wedding and children's upbringing. Brother, let's start having sense.

8 Likes

Re: Don't Become The Family ATM by DAramis: 4:55pm On Apr 18, 2019
Martinez39:
Not everyone is your responsibility. Let everyone go and work. It's better to bring out money for someone's burial than to have him leeching off you all the rest of your life. The former is once and for all unlike the latter. No food for a lazy man, the world is harsh.

The same people that will leech you will abandon you during your down time. If your family member is hungry, let them go and work. You have your own household, others have theirs and you must work for yours as they work for theirs.
A situation where someone happens to be the first issue while his or her younger ones are still growing or coming up, the situation you painted above may not actually workout.

Nothing stops someone from contributing school fees money etc to his family members.

The worst form of guys that irritates me are those that spends thousands of naira on one imaginary girlfriend of theirs while their mother or younger siblings are passing serious challenges cry cry

Like I said, not helping for once is never the right path to thread especially if money has never been the problem but at the same time, there should be a limit to it.

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