Martinez39:
I didn't say you must bring out money for someone's burial. I only said it is better than having him leech off you. Even if you spend two billion dollars feeding people today, they will still get hungry again. Human needs can't be shut. So why not use the two billion dollars for yourself and family and live the remaining as inheritance? Why can't you tell the beggers to go and hustle that you owe them nothing?

Worse are the beggers that will use you to finance their wedding and children's upbringing. Brother, let's start having sense.

DAramis:

A situation where someone happens to be the first issue while his or her younger ones are still growing or coming up, the situation you painted above may not actually workout.

Nothing stops someone from contributing school fees money etc to his family members.

The worst form of guys that irritates me are those that spends thousands of naira on one imaginary girlfriend of theirs while their mother or younger siblings are passing serious challenges

Like I said, not helping for once is never the right path to thread especially if money has never been the problem but at the same time, there should be a limit to it.

Preetti:
I was the ATM now that there's no money they stopped calling

DAramis:


The one of using your finance to marry and do owambe I have not seen such o. In summary, your point about using our brain is what matters most.

Ugosample:


it's our curse as igbo men

wanting to carry ungrateful relatives along at our expense


it's terrible

chibuzorAbia:


Be stingy if you wish to, it is your right and your money. I am very "stingy" according to them but guess what? My children are getting secured and getting a very good life. I give only when I can, or when I have loose change knocking about.

boiz2men:
don't be hard fisted to family guy

Pavore9:
Insightful. Family members give wide berth to those who stick to not being an ATM. Your income is primarily for your immediate family, be up to date with your health insurance, life assurance, investments etc whatever remains one can choose to extend to extended family members.

Just this afternoon, I was thinking of a neighbour of ours back in the 90s who was like his extended family's "messiah", he was catering for his brothers' families as his 2 elder brothers had 15 children between them. By the time he got married in his early 40s, his finances were plummeting, health issues arose and died within 7 years of being married leaving the wife with 3 young children. From 3 bedroom flat apartment to one room, the wife had to start selling food at the bus stop, while her late husband's nephews and nieces who were by then earning comfortably were least bothered.

BoboDodo:
That is my goal in life, exactly to become the family ATM.
I would love to be able to help everybody as many times as I can. Nothing gives me more joy

Pavore9:


Very Igbo!. Some of us seek "validation" from it at the expense of our nuclear family well-being but ironically we tend to "respect from afar" relatives who don't give a hoot about carrying the weight of their extended family members and when these type of people drop something once in a blue moon, these ungrateful relatives tend to appreciate it more than you that have been offering it regularly!

Preetti:
I was the ATM now that there's no money they stopped calling

chibuzorAbia:


I dey my house for Ajah, come and arrest me. Bring my extended family along and see if "Bingo" will not tear you all into pieces. Nonsense!!!

Hedonini:
I'm very proud to be my family's ATM. And by family I mean, the main the main family ( children , mum and dad, and siblings, and wife ). I hope to be an inexhaustible ATM that never has insufficient funds for this category of people. Working night and day to reach that point. Let them wreck me if they can. Will all pleasure, would be my refrain.

toluxa1:
​Don’t Become The Family ATM

Helping people is good but make sure it is not at the expense of your immediate family & your future.

"Black Tax" - The extra money that black professionals give every month to support their "less fortunate" friends & family.

This causes many not to have savings​ as it impacts ​on ​the ability to be able to save and build generational wealth.

Saving can be difficult in a country like Nigeria where some people almost abdicate their financial responsibilities to you if you allow them.

The following should help:

1. Pay yourself first
- ​T​ake care of your own immediate family needs.
-​ Be number 1 on your priority list
​
2. Save
- ​​Make use of locked up savings that you can't touch.
- Several apps exist now that can help you do this on your phone.

3. Set a black tax budget.......and stick to it!.
- People find a way to move to other people when they can't get money from you.

4​. Spend on necessities
​- You don't have to buy every "Aso Ebi" especially if you can't afford it

​​5​. Learn to say "No!"​, ​particularly if you cannot afford it

6​. Help others become rich
- If you are the only rich man in your family, you are a poor man!
- Don't just give them fish, teach the to fish.

Source
https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6523869306776879104

DAramis:
Your opinion is really biased. It is good to help but must be at a limit. Most times, it is even better to empty your account if the case is extreme.

Like my father once said, it makes no sense that you have money on your account while the family goes hungry.

Some people will never bring out money to help someone but once such person dies, the will bring enough money for his or her burial. May God never allow us to have such people in our lives

Hedonini:
I'm very proud to be my family's ATM. And by family I mean, the main the main family (children, mum and dad, and siblings, and wife). I hope to be an inexhaustible ATM that never has insufficient funds for this category of people. Working night and day to reach that point. Let them wreck me if they can. Will all pleasure, would be my refrain.

As for any so-called relatives or extended family members, those ones can starve to death or even burn to ashes for all I care. Habitually ungrateful and malicious lot.

FruitCakes:
My uncle came back from abroad rich,, everyone surrounded him.
Now that he's broke they are nowhere to be found
That taught me a valid lesson

LesbianBoy:


So you are married with kids? O ga o!

capitalzero:


yes oh. most extended family members are ungrateful.

Hedonini:


Ungrateful na Understatement. I don't even mind an ungrateful sibling or child, they would come around. We're bound together anyway. It's deep. And my love for these people is completely selfless. But you see some stupid, wicked relatives ba? Na Ogun go punish them. Talking from very very very bitter family experience.

grafixdon:


Receive sense brother. Don't be too quick to call someone weak when you don't know the story. I have a aged mother. She has lost many of her children in the past (my siblings) I don't want to cause her more grief. That my brother can do it, he has drank bleach before and have attempted many suicides.

He's very handsome but find it difficult to steak with one woman, he doesn't have a good job, he stays in one room self contained. He's not doing well as such, sometimes he thinks the best is to end it.

DAramis:
Your opinion is really biased. It is good to help but must be at a limit. Most times, it is even better to empty your account if the case is extreme.

Like my father once said, it makes no sense that you have money on your account while the family goes hungry.

Some people will never bring out money to help someone but once such person dies, the will bring enough money for his or her burial. May God never allow us to have such people in our lives

Hedonini:

E be like say you no do present future tense for school. Lol. Fill in the gap. Family members, current and 'in view'.

IprintMONEY:
Bleep your father, if i am not my family atm, na olosho atm i go be? i swear if you where close to me i for woze u better slap.
any month my sis, fiancee and my mom and other siblings dont withdraw or demand at least 1.5 m from me, i get pissed with all of them who am i getting the money for if i die what happens to the money na. use your fucking brain man

LesbianBoy:


As I see "I am proud to be my family's ATM".....I was just too shocked seeing you write that I didn't bother to read everything! Na now I just calm down read am! But wait, that aside so you hope to get married? Haaa! You wey like jaiye jaiye.

pansophist:
I was that guy, I used to always give anyone that ask money from me, I was that generous. Until it dawn on me that my discretionary act of kindness was seen as their right, and a medium to be exploited and ransacked, to a point where I was ridiculed for refusing to be used. Imagine hearing gossips by people you helped, calling you stupid and disclosing all the nice things you've done for them. That's humans for you.

Right now, the only people I'll ever assist are my parents. That's all. Sometimes, the meanest people are the kindest, whom have been bitten and refuse to be a victim for their own sanity.