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My ex-wife is trying to leave right now and I’m helping her navigate her exit. I left the religion two years ago and, although I was knowledgeable about their dirty tactics in their elders guidebook, I allowed my emotions to lead me rather than my brain. I disassociated but stupidly accepted an invitation from elder I thought was a friend to have a drink and chat. He persuaded me to tell the elders the things I have discovered about the organization which resulted in my being disfellowshipped as an “apostate” even though I’d already disassociated. They’re not actually supposed to do this but it looks better on their records if they kick someone out rather than them leaving voluntarily. Had I known then what I know now I would have exited the cult very differently.

There are 3 ways to leave. Only 1 of them results in the possibility of not losing your family forever. They’re not great odds, but it’s the best you got. Here they are:

1. Get disfellowshipped . Do something that the JWs regard as a sin such as celebrate your birthday, celebrate Christmas or even clink glasses and say “cheers” and say you’re not sorry for it. You’ll end up in a judicial committee where three elders will grill you in a locked room (i kid you not) about your “sin” and then they get to decide if you’re sorry (not Jesus) and even if you are they get to decide if you’re sorry enough (dont remember that part in the bible do you?) and will disfellowship you. You’ve now lost literally every JW you know. That includes your parents, siblings and even your children. They’ll tell you that if you want your family back you can by returning to the religion - but to do so you’ll need to keep attending meetings while everyone pretends you’re invisible for about a year and then you must write a grovelling apology letter begging to be reinstated and claim your allegiance to the Watchtower Society and the Governing Body as your mediator.

2. Disassociate . Write a letter saying that you no longer wish to be known as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses and mail it to the Kingdom Hall or one of the elders. Or you can tell two elders that you no longer wish to be known as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. They’ll try and meet with you to see what “your problem” is. If possible they’ll also try and get you to slip up and say that you’ve done something like had sex with your boyfriend/girlfriend so that they can tell their wives and their wives can gossip about it (it happens, believe me). This way it reinforces their belief that people only leave so that they can “sin”. Or you can simply join another religion, or accept a blood transfusion, and they’ll take this as you disassociating. You’ve now lost literally every JW you know. Yep, they shun those who leave too. That includes your parents, siblings and even your children. Here’s the kicker - their magazines tell them that it’s now YOU who are shunning THEM. They’ll tell you that if you ever wish to return and get your family back you can, provided that you keep attending meetings while everyone pretends you’re invisible for about a year and then writing a grovelling apology letter begging to be reinstated.

3. Fade . Stop going out on the door to door ministry, gradually reduce meeting attendance until you don't go at all. Ignore or deflect elders visits and questions. If you manage to not be seen doing any non JW approved things for about 6 months to a year you’ll be classed as “inactive” and they might leave you alone. That means don't post things on Facebook that you don't want JWs knowing about. They’re a very nosy and gossiping people, they check your Facebook in order to snitch on you to elders. If you can keep the elders away from you for about a year you might be ok. However - the elders might not leave you alone. In this scenario they’ll text you, turn up at your door and may even write you letters. It’s not unheard of for them to turn up at your place of work either. They’ll ask you if you still want to be a Jehovah’s Witness? Or “do you believe the Governing Body to be Gods representatives on earth?” or “do you believe the Watchtower Society to be Gods organization?” IT’S A TRAP. (You can asked them why they didn't ask you if you believe in God or the Bible, or if you pray to God or reads the Bible. But never answer those questions, it's a Trap)

The more zealous JW will shun you simply for not attending meetings. Some JW family members will likely have less to do with you and “encourage” you to return to the meetings. Beware that if you do ever turn up to another meeting you’ll be accosted by elders, shuffled into a backroom and grilled about what you’ve been up to. They do this so that they can disfellowship you. Again, DO NOT answer their questions.

My ex-wife who I mentioned in the opening of this answer is using option 3. She hasn't attended a meeting for about 6 months, hasn't been preaching for over a year. She is engaged to a non JW. Her family are now shunning her because of this. A few days ago she got a text from an elder who said “We want you to be happy, and back in the congregation where you belong. Can I and another elder meet with you please?”. This is a trap. They need TWO witnesses to hear you slip up and say you’re doing something non JW like being engaged to a non JW. If she did meet with them they’d ask her if she wants to be a JW or if she believes the Watchtower Society to be Gods organization. If she were to answer NO they’d say she’s disassociated and announce her from the platform. If she were to answer YES they’d disfellowship her and announce her from the platform. You see how she cant win no matter how she answers? I told her not to meet with them, not to answer their questions and to tell them she’ll contact her solicitor if they continue to harass her.

Threatening legal action is effective with this religion. They don't want to be cross examined in court because it might make them look like a cult that breaks up families or something.

UPDATE: My ex-wife was disfellowshipped two months later for “brazen conduct”. She told the elders that she doesn't believe the religion and moved in with her boyfriend. Her entire family are now shunning her. Bizzarely, they happily talk to her non-Jehovah’s Witness boyfriend and are encouraging him to become a Jehovah’s Witness so that he can be “happy” (?!?!).

Sorry to ask though. Did she become your ex wife as a result of u leaving the Jehovah's witness congregation?

imamtobi:
Sorry to ask though. Did she become your ex wife as a result of u leaving the Jehovah's witness congregation?

It's not my experience. The author didn't say

It's just a church...Why does it sound like a cult that will kill u if u leave....Which one is legal action...Is it hard changing a church??... Just to wake up next Sunday and enter ur car or bike to another place and u are making it look like rocket science.......

1StopRudeness:
It's just a church...Why does it sound like a cult that will kill u if u leave....Which one is legal action...Is it hard changing a church??... Just to wake up next Sunday and enter ur car or bike to another place and u are making it look like rocket science.......

Well, if you doubt try it or ask around. Easy to join, hard to leave

rottennaija:


Well, if you doubt try it or ask around. Easy to join, hard to leave

Y is it hard to leave? Do dey take oath at first?

rottennaija:


Well, if you doubt try it or ask around. Easy to join, hard to leave

His is it hard to leave. U clearly said they sent the lady a text..Meaning they were not forcing but asking to see her....All she needed to do was not go...Or send them a message that I've change church ooooo.....
When u say hard. What do u mean...Like they will insist u can't go and take u to court for going to another church??

1StopRudeness:


His is it hard to leave. U clearly said they sent the lady a text..Meaning they were not forcing but asking to see her....All she needed to do was not go...Or send them a message that I've change church ooooo.....
When u say hard. What do u mean...Like they will insist u can't go and take u to court for going to another church??

Why do those who join cults but what's out have to lay low or travel to a distance place for a very long time? Who can't they simply write a letter or tell other members they can be a part of it again or simply stopped go to their meetings and activities?

rottennaija:


Why do those who join cults but what's out have to lay low or travel to a distance place for a very long time? Who can't they simply write a letter or tell other members they can be a part of it again or simply stopped go to their meetings and activities?

U making a big deal out of the matter JW isn't a cult...And I have friends that stopped attending..If u've been at a place for long...It's only polite that u formally say u are leaving...If there's no hard feelings..
.jw is not usually a crowded church so they know each other and who has stopped coming hence the need to check up. I don't like their style but I can say when it come to fellowship among brethren and caring for needs...They are really good, this what u can't see in most church cos of the large crowd. Imagine the way they visit and knock on it door to disturb it life to join them that's the same passion they use in trying to make people remain...beleiv me when I say Some church people like to assume u have backslided once u stop coming to church
I feel people that want to leave because they are doing stuffs that goes against the church doctrine not necessarily a sin ...are the ones that talk as if they are gonna be witch hunted or something.... And this happens in all churches..

1StopRudeness:


U making a big deal out of the matter JW isn't a cult...And I have friends that stopped attending..If u've been at a place for long...It's only polite that u formally say u are leaving...If there's no hard feelings..
.jw is not usually a crowded church so they know each other and who has stopped coming hence the need to check up. I don't like their style but I can say when it come to fellowship among brethren and caring for needs...They are really good, this what u can't see in most church cos of the large crowd. Imagine the way they visit and knock on it door to disturb it life to join them that's the same passion they use in trying to make people remain...beleiv me when I say Some church people like to assume u have backslided once u stop coming to church
I feel people that want to leave because they are doing stuffs that goes against the church doctrine not necessarily a sin ...are the ones that talk as if they are gonna be witch hunted or something.... And this happens in all churches..

Should leaving the religion forces you to lose your family until you rejoin the religion? Isn't that coercion?

rottennaija:


Should leaving the religion forces you to lose your family until you rejoin the religion? Isn't that coercion?

U have moved to family now.....That's a family problem...Not a church problem....Unless somehow the family are also the church administrator...Which ever way....
These are things family do.....It's not unheard of...Like I said u making a big deal out of this...
Haven't u seen family say they won't relate with their child cos he or she wants to marry from another tribe or race....It's the same thing...Family disown their child cos he became a Muslim or Christian.. it's no different

Family usually think they know what's best for you....And it's not like they are being wicked.. they just see it as heart breaking when they raise a child and the the child want to go AWOL because of a stranger she met on the street in the name of marriage or anyother reason which family don't always understand....
U and I know it's all for a while...They are family...They always eventually come around and forget the whole issue

1StopRudeness:


U have moved to family now..... That's a family problem...Not a church problem....Unless somehow the family are also the church administrator...Which ever way....
These are things family do.....It's not unheard of...Like I said u making a big deal out of this...
Haven't u seen family say they won't relate with their child cos he or she wants to marry from another tribe or race....It's the same thing...Family disown their child cos he became a Muslim or Christian.. it's no different

Family usually think they know what's best for you....And it's not like they are being wicked.. they just see it as heart breaking when they raise a child and the the child want to go AWOL because of a stranger she met on the street in the name of marriage or anyother reason which family don't always understand....
U and I know it's all for a while...They are family...They always eventually come around and forget the whole issue

In regards to marriage! True, those happen in families but they eventually come around. But not on this religion issues, especially this particular religion. I do not know of others. And family is everything. In the case of this religion, if the family does not treat the one who wants to leave the religion that way, the religion will have to punish the family and treat them that way and anyone who does not want to shun the person that leaves.

But the whole thing was about family, your family! Your brothers, sisters, mum, dad etc. It their leverage against you. Anyone can simply work out of it. However, it comes at the expense of losing any family member you have in the religion, unless you return to it.

What you do not understand is that the writer is trying to help someone who wants to leave the religion without having to lose everything. He has given 3 options, but the third is what he recommends.

Let me ask you, have you ever heard of the expression "no honorable way out"? Do you know what it means?

Seems there's an issue here!


For some former Jehovah's Witnesses, leaving the faith is not just the mark of losing your religion - it can also mean losing your loved ones. In many cases, friends and family are told to cut all ties with ex-believers, leaving them isolated and sometimes suicidal.

Last year, Sarah - in her 20s - was excluded by the Jehovah's Witnesses in a process known as "disfellowshipping", she says sparked by her refusal to live in an abusive relationship.

She claims her partner at the time had been violent towards her, at one stage leaving her with broken ribs.

Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses shunned by their families

1StopRudeness:


U have moved to family now.....That's a family problem...Not a church problem....Unless somehow the family are also the church administrator...Which ever way....
These are things family do.....It's not unheard of...Like I said u making a big deal out of this...
Haven't u seen family say they won't relate with their child cos he or she wants to marry from another tribe or race....It's the same thing...Family disown their child cos he became a Muslim or Christian.. it's no different

Family usually think they know what's best for you....And it's not like they are being wicked.. they just see it as heart breaking when they raise a child and the the child want to go AWOL because of a stranger she met on the street in the name of marriage or anyother reason which family don't always understand....
U and I know it's all for a while...They are family...They always eventually come around and forget the whole issue

You last sentence though, if only it were so. During the recent child abuse case, and the inquiry by the Australian Royal Commission, when watchtower officials were hard-press to provide a way for someone to leave the religion without any consequences, Watchtower lawyers says the only way is for the person to fade out (which is suggestion no 3)

rottennaija:


You last sentence though, if only it were so. During the recent child abuse case, and the inquiry by the Australian Royal Commission, when watchtower officials were hard-press to provide a way for someone to leave the religion without any consequences, Watchtower lawyers says the only way is for the person to fade out (which is suggestion no 3)

U funny...Where's the source of that formation....That any body will be stupid enough to say someone should fade off.....Is hard to believe....I know Muslims can tell u straight up u have to die...Last I checked jw don't kill or force people to stay in the faith....Wateva fade means!!

1StopRudeness:


U funny...Where's the source of that formation....That any body will be stupid enough to say someone should fade off.....Is hard to believe....I know Muslims can tell u straight up u have to die...Last I checked jw don't kill or force people to stay in the faith....Wateva fade means!!

I take it you are not a jw?

rottennaija:

I take it you are not a jw?

Obviously I'm not.....I take it.. you sounding like, then that means I don't know anything about JW..??

budaatum:
Seems there's an issue here!


For some former Jehovah's Witnesses, leaving the faith is not just the mark of losing your religion - it can also mean losing your loved ones. In many cases, friends and family are told to cut all ties with ex-believers, leaving them isolated and sometimes suicidal.

Last year, Sarah - in her 20s - was excluded by the Jehovah's Witnesses in a process known as "disfellowshipping", she says sparked by her refusal to live in an abusive relationship.

She claims her partner at the time had been violent towards her, at one stage leaving her with broken ribs.

Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses shunned by their families

Story for the gods.
It's NOT true.
No JW is ever disfellowship for leaving an abusive marital relationship.
The truth is that one or both spouse engaged in sexual relationship with some one NOT their spouse without getting divorce (a wrongdoing for which they showed no remorse).
These ex-JWs just want to malign JWs & paint them in negative light .

Janosky:


Story for the gods.
It's NOT true.

Well, we have ops story, and the link I posted narrates a few others, so something must be going on to produce so much smoke. Worth investigating, I reckon.

1StopRudeness:


Obviously I'm not.....I take it.. you sounding like, then that means I don't know anything about JW..??

No. Not really. You may know a lot about them. But I also know that appearance is different from depth. Let me give you an example, I grew up believing people not us were necessarily bad, unworthy of associations, evil etc. That religious practices of others are inherently bad, sinful etc. It was so to me, but it was all appearances! I have known good peoples, honest, sincere, people who lead a Godly life etc.

The same is true among member of my former religion. Good deeds among us is said to be as a result of Bible trained conscience. Good deeds among those of other religion is rarely mentioned and no one thinks that these ones are have a Bible trained conscience.

So appearance are appearances

Janosky:


Story for the gods.
It's NOT true.
No JW is ever disfellowship for leaving an abusive marital relationship.
The truth is that one or both spouse engaged in sexual relationship with some one NOT their spouse without getting divorce (a wrongdoing for which they showed no remorse).
These ex-JWs just want to malign JWs & paint them in negative light .

You claim to know what the truth is even when you have heard from the horses mouth? In your own mind, it's impossible for that happen, she must have done one sin or another. At the other hand, you are quick to dismissed what the person said is her story?

I know the feeling

budaatum:

Well, we have ops story, and the link I posted narrates a few others, so something must be going on to produce so much smoke. Worth investigating, I reckon.

Buda, pls go and do your investigations thoroughly.
No discipline is joyful and bliss to the one who errs & receives it.
These individuals are just disgruntled, their pain no get end because of bitterness they refused to move on. It's pointless pretending to serve God with a heart filled with bitterness.
If Man utd no fit you ,PSG no dey? Ajax no dey? Chelsea no dey? What of Leeds Utd? what of AC Milan?

last last,Jehovah's standard must be upheld. 1 Cor5:1-13

Janosky:


Buda, pls go and do your investigations thoroughly.
No discipline is joyful and bliss to the one who receives it.
These individuals are just disgruntled, their pain no get end because they refused to move on.
If Man utd no fit you ,PSG no dey? Ajax no dey? Chelsea no dey? What of Leeds Utd? what of AC Milan?

last last,Jehovah's standard must be upheld. 1 Cor5:1-13

Are you pain about the story?

rottennaija:


No. Not really. You may know a lot about them. But I also know that appearance is different from depth. Let me give you an example, I grew up believing people not us were necessarily bad, unworthy of associations, evil etc. That religious practices of others are inherently bad, sinful etc. It was so to me, but it was all appearances! I have known good peoples, honest, sincere, people who lead a Godly life etc.

The same is true among member of my former religion. Good deeds among us is said to be as a result of Bible trained conscience. Good deeds among those of other religion is rarely mentioned and no one thinks that these ones are have a Bible trained conscience.

So appearance are appearances

rottennaija: So APPEARANCE are APPEARANCE

Achorladey: Fine point you have up there and the one I highlighted above has a support below...

WITNESSES when defending THE ORGANIZATION often place GREAT EMPHASIS on what AMOUNTS to APPEARANCE more than SUBSTANCE, on CLAIM as opposed to REALITY, perhaps on INTENT as compared to ACTUAL RESULT.

rottennaija:


Are you pain about the story?

Not at all..
If you're convinced Jehovah's the true God, worship him with a complete heart .
If it's Baal that tickles your fancy, do make your choice .
JWs have never said they're perfect, but from what I found out, they are as close to the first century Christians as you can get . I'm JW for life .

achorladey:


rottennaija: So APPEARANCE are APPEARANCE

Achorladey: Fine point you have up there and the one I highlighted above has a support below...

WITNESSES when defending THE ORGANIZATION often place GREAT EMPHASIS on what AMOUNTS to APPEARANCE more than SUBSTANCE, on CLAIM as opposed to REALITY, perhaps on INTENT as compared to ACTUAL RESULT.

Well! That how we actually felt. We never actually saw it as appearances, but as truth. About 5 weeks ago, I was invited to a circuit assembly by my brother. I attended out of respect for him (he specifically informed me he has a talk).

while there, I sat next to a sister, ( a very close friend) During one of the talks delivered, she shown me one brother he had informed sometimes ago wanted to sleep with her. The brother was on the platform, speaking confidently like some spirit was upon him, obviously, he was a brother with good standing. She said the brother didn't want anything else than to sleep with her.

While chatting with another sister, her exact words were
"Brothers are not trust worthy. The truth is that few are for real, many pretends a lot wit much lies. If it happens you see a good one, then you must thank God
You will not believe it till someone play their video for you to see it with your two eyes"

Of course, what do I know? The motor among Jws is: "The worst witness is better than the best worldly person." I mean, It makes sense. Doesn't it? The worst is better than the best, probably in their utopian world.

That's is what they refer as double speak

rottennaija:


Well! That how we actually felt. We never actually saw it as appearances, but as truth. About 5 weeks ago, I was invited to a circuit assembly by my brother. I attended out of respect for him (he specifically informed me he has a talk).

while there, I sat next to a sister, ( a very close friend) During one of the talks delivered, she shown me one brother he had informed sometimes ago wanted to sleep with her. The brother was on the platform, speaking confidently like some spirit was upon him, obviously, he was a brother with good standing. She said the brother didn't want anything else than to sleep with her.

While chatting with another sister, her exact words were
"Brothers are not trust worthy. The truth is that few are for real, many pretends a lot wit much lies. If it happens you see a good one, then you must thank God
You will not believe it till someone play their video for you to see it with your two eyes"

Of course, what do I know? The motor among Jws is: "The worst witness is better than the best worldly person." I mean, It makes sense. Doesn't it? The worst is better than the best, probably in their utopian world.

rottennaija: Of course, what do I know? The motor among Jws is: "The WORST WITNESS is BETTER than the BEST WORLDLY PERSON." I mean, It makes sense. Doesn't it? The worst is better than the best, probably in their utopian world.

achorladey: Perhaps Jesus must have seen this same kind of mindset in the heart of the Jews of his day the WORST JEW is BETTER than the BEST SAMARITAN or GENTILE yet Jesus said this about the SYROPHOENICIAN woman

Matthew 15:28 Then Jesus replied to her: “O woman, GREAT is your FAITH; let it happen to you as you WISH.” And her daughter was healed from that hour on.


And Jesus equally said this to the centurion

Luke 7:9 When Jesus heard these things, he was AMAZED at HIM, and he turned to the crowd following him and said: “I TELL YOU, not EVEN in ISRAEL have I found so GREAT A FAITH.

The reason Jesus must have given the good Samaritan story


Let me copy you by stating, what do I know after all ILLUSIONS abound all over the World.

1StopRudeness:
It's just a church...Why does it sound like a cult that will kill u if u leave....Which one is legal action...Is it hard changing a church??... Just to wake up next Sunday and enter ur car or bike to another place and u are making it look like rocket science.......

JW is not just a Church bro.

1StopRudeness:


U making a big deal out of the matter JW isn't a cult...And I have friends that stopped attending..If u've been at a place for long...It's only polite that u formally say u are leaving...If there's no hard feelings..
.jw is not usually a crowded church so they know each other and who has stopped coming hence the need to check up. I don't like their style but I can say when it come to fellowship among brethren and caring for needs...They are really good, this what u can't see in most church cos of the large crowd. Imagine the way they visit and knock on it door to disturb it life to join them that's the same passion they use in trying to make people remain...beleiv me when I say Some church people like to assume u have backslided once u stop coming to church
I feel people that want to leave because they are doing stuffs that goes against the church doctrine not necessarily a sin ...are the ones that talk as if they are gonna be witch hunted or something.... And this happens in all churches..

Pls ask those your friends if they were baptized. The Unbaptized can come and go, but if you are baptized, hmmm. Na hook you don hook so o.

Shepherd00:

Pls ask those your friends if they were baptized. The Unbaptized can come and go, but if you are baptized, hmmm. Na hook you don hook so o.

Lol....U funny man

Shepherd00:

JW is not just a Church bro.

So what is it??....Pple shaa dey leave cult??

1StopRudeness:


So what is it??....Pple shaa dey leave cult??

To know that it's not a regular church, you shd read the stories of those who were right deep in it then left.

In this forum so many links have been posted to that effect, when you read, you can make up your mind.