Hello everyone,
I am the first son of my family. My Dad is addicted to Drinks and cigarettes.
Not that he drinks is the problem, but he becomes violent and talks almost non-stop each time he is drunk..
Any money that came to his way will never solve any of his problem, he don't even buy food and eat for himself, and he will come home and eats 3 times daily. My poor Mum is the only person providing for the family. And the worst is that he never let her have peace of mind.

My Dad used to be rich before he married my mum, he owns car then (first in our village). When tv was still not everywhere, he was the first then to owns those things.

He grow up in Lagos despite not educated but he loved us then when we are still growing up, only this alcoholism that soiled his character.
Every money he made from Lagos, as soon as he arrived home, all we be spent on alcoholic.

It has gotten worst, as a first son, I have to pay money to the village town crier to announce to them to stop selling drinks to him, he is now looking so perl due to too much alcohol and smoke.

Several time we left home for him at night whenever he became violent.
I have called family people and they are almost tired of his issue.
Any time he drunk, he became violent and can use any weapons that he see.

I have been praying for him, because it seems not ordinary, he is blessed in making money.

I remember when we are small, my Dad made enough money then that would have built a good duplex, but if not for my mom through farm work, the building would have not been completed.

I have told him that I will act madly any day he beat my Mom.
My mother is staying because of us her children..

I loved my Dad so much, I have talked to him, petted him and buy gift sometimes for him but he always go back to drink.
Any time he is not drunk, you will hardly know he is violent.

Pls help me before it goes out of hand.
I wish I have established, I would have taken my mum with me atleast for some times.
But I was just settled for apprenticeship and have not start up business..
My Dad's character was the reason I left home at 14 for apprenticeship with all the hard labour's, just to stay away from his ugly attitude..
I wish I could explain more the pains my younger siblings are passing through at home.... I weep always when I remember my dad.
I am not at home right now, but I already knew what my mom and little ones will be passing through.


................ Pls help a brother, tears.......
Mynd44, lalasticlala, pls help

You my friend are a very stupid son and you all probably pushed him to the alcohol you complain about. For if you can come here to rant about him to total strangers imagine what the man must have heard. You dare threaten your dad. You kolo?.
Dude probably worked his whole youth for you guys and when una don tax am finish una come dey say he dey drink. Why he no go drink when thinking of his losses coupled with una nagging no go comot for him head.

Tales like this makes me wanna shenk my children. As in after my suffering and hustles one of them go come dey talk say he go lash me.

Behave boy. Talk to old man. If he wan drink follow am go there. He will reduce it. Be his pal. And his innermost painment will be revealed to you.

Shibaraba:
You my friend are a very stupid son and you all probably pushed him to the alcohol you complain about. For if you can come here to rant about him to total strangers imagine what the man must have heard. You dare threaten your dad. You kolo?.
Dude probably worked his whole youth for you guys and when una don tax am finish una come dey say he dey drink. Why he no go drink when thinking of his losses coupled with una nagging no go comot for him head.

Tales like this makes me wanna shenk my children. As in after my suffering and hustles one of them go come dey talk say he go lash me.

Behave boy. Talk to old man. If he wan drink follow am go there. He will reduce it. Be his pal. And his innermost painment will be revealed to you.

Guy just shut up. Let people with sensible things to say help this guy who is trying to save his dad and family

only if we had professional detox, rehab centres in Nigeria. plus a dose of counseling.
it's well Bro, we all bear our crosses

As in smoking weed and driking strong alcohol

Shibaraba:
You my friend are a very stupid son and you all probably pushed him to the alcohol you complain about. For if you can come here to rant about him to total strangers imagine what the man must have heard. You dare threaten your dad. You kolo?.
Dude probably worked his whole youth for you guys and when una don tax am finish una come dey say he dey drink. Why he no go drink when thinking of his losses coupled with una nagging no go comot for him head.

Tales like this makes me wanna shenk my children. As in after my suffering and hustles one of them go come dey talk say he go lash me.

Behave boy. Talk to old man. If he wan drink follow am go there. He will reduce it. Be his pal. And his innermost painment will be revealed to you.

I am wondering how great wisdom and extreme foolishness can cohabit side by side in your head. I have read more sensible comments from you, but this one takes the medal for the Most Idiotic.

mankettle:
only if we had professional detox, rehab centres in Nigeria. plus a dose of counseling.
it's well Bro, we all bear our crosses

Nigeria is sitting on a ticking time bomb. It gets scarier when you see that Nigeria is projected to hit 450 million people by 2050.

Take the case of Lagos where everybody is already mad,thinking and celebrating life in Lagos as the best in the universe.

Now, imagine when the Lagos disease is plaguing the whole country simultaneously?

What a country and people!

He's got an addiction to alcohol. Unfortunately, I'm not sure what sort of detox program's available in Nigeria, and it costs a lot of money too.
.Sorry o...

He's got an addiction to alcohol or more like a dependency. Unfortunately, I'm not sure what sort of detox program's available in Nigeria, and it costs a lot of money too.
.Sorry o...

Guilderland1:
Hello everyone,
I am the first son of my family. My Dad is addicted to Drinks and cigarettes.
Not that he drinks is the problem, but he becomes violent and talks almost non-stop each time he is drunk..
Any money that came to his way will never solve any of his problem, he don't even buy food and eat for himself, and he will come home and eats 3 times daily. My poor Mum is the only person providing for the family. And the worst is that he never let her have peace of mind.

My Dad used to be rich before he married my mum, he owns car then (first in our village). When tv was still not everywhere, he was the first then to owns those things.

He grow up in Lagos despite not educated but he loved us then when we are still growing up, only this alcoholism that soiled his character.
Every money he made from Lagos, as soon as he arrived home, all we be spent on alcoholic.

It has gotten worst, as a first son, I have to pay money to the village town crier to announce to them to stop selling drinks to him, he is now looking so perl due to too much alcohol and smoke.

Several time we left home for him at night whenever he became violent.
I have called family people and they are almost tired of his issue.
Any time he drunk, he became violent and can use any weapons that he see.

I have been praying for him, because it seems not ordinary, he is blessed in making money.

I remember when we are small, my Dad made enough money then that would have built a good duplex, but if not for my mom through farm work, the building would have not been completed.

I have told him that I will act madly any day he beat my Mom.
My mother is staying because of us her children..

I loved my Dad so much, I have talked to him, petted him and buy gift sometimes for him but he always go back to drink.
Any time he is not drunk, you will hardly know he is violent.

Pls help me before it goes out of hand.
I wish I have established, I would have taken my mum with me atleast for some times.
But I was just settled for apprenticeship and have not start up business..
My Dad's character was the reason I left home at 14 for apprenticeship with all the hard labour's, just to stay away from his ugly attitude..
I wish I could explain more the pains my younger siblings are passing through at home.... I weep always when I remember my dad.
I am not at home right now, but I already knew what my mom and little ones will be passing through.


................ Pls help a brother, tears.......
Mynd44, lalasticlala, pls help

Your pops is basically showing symptoms of a root cause. Start working on the root cause if you care enough

In the spirit of the festive, just acknowledge that your dad's case is almost past redemption. Simply try to manage him until the bubble burst...it will soon burst I hope not in your faces.

I remember baba Friday. He was a small earner but a big drinker. He met his waterloo on the highway one cold night when he was drunk, as usual. Well, Iya Friday got her peace...children Fridays got theirs too. It is well...AAA sef can't help him.

Ishilove:

I am wondering how great wisdom and extreme foolishness can cohabit side by side in your head. I have read more sensible comments from you, but this one takes the medal for the Most Idiotic.

Hahahahaha....madam no be like so. I was speaking from a similar scenario I experienced. Guess I took it personal. But....try look at it from my perspective. Maybe you will see what I meant. If the dad was opportuned to create a thread on his situation dont you think he would have said something different? My opinion though. No vex

Shibaraba:

Hahahahaha....madam no be like so. I was speaking from a similar scenario I experienced. Guess I took it personal. But....try look at it from my perspective. Maybe you will see what I meant. If the dad was opportuned to create a thread on his situation dont you think he would have said something different? My opinion though. No vex

He is an alcoholic and alcoholics blame their excesses on everything but themselves.

It always seems like men cannot handle when things are not rosy. The wives tend to be the one to hold up the family while the man tries to drown his sorrows in alcohol, etc... trying to run way from the problem and avoid confronting it.

Shibaraba:
You my friend are a very stupid son and you all probably pushed him to the alcohol you complain about. For if you can come here to rant about him to total strangers imagine what the man must have heard. You dare threaten your dad. You kolo?.
Dude probably worked his whole youth for you guys and when una don tax am finish una come dey say he dey drink. Why he no go drink when thinking of his losses coupled with una nagging no go comot for him head.

Tales like this makes me wanna shenk my children. As in after my suffering and hustles one of them go come dey talk say he go lash me.

Behave boy. Talk to old man. If he wan drink follow am go there. He will reduce it. Be his pal. And his innermost painment will be revealed to you.

Bro, even on his youthful age he drinks but not violent as it is now, besides we never done anything that might have pushed him into alcoholism.

sisisioge:
In the spirit of the festive, just acknowledge that your dad's case is almost past redemption. Simply try to manage him until the bubble burst...it will soon burst I hope not in your faces.

I remember baba Friday. He was a small earner but a big drinker. He met his waterloo on the highway one cold night when he was drunk, as usual. Well, Iya Friday got her peace...children Fridays got theirs too. It is well...AAA sef can't help him.

God forbid, my Dad will not die because, despite his condition I still loved him dearly and pray for him daily. By the grace of God, he will be healed and become a good testimony....

Why are you wicked?

Guilderland1:


God forbid, my Dad will not die because, despite his condition I still loved him dearly and pray for him daily. By the grace of God, he will be healed and become a good testimony....

Why are you wicked?

Haaaaaa! Did I say he would die. May God heal him. Good morning.

sisisioge:


Haaaaaa! Did I say he would die. May God heal him. Good morning.

Your post insinuated a very unhappy ending, which is what the OP seeks advice against.

bobobooge:


Your post insinuated a very unhappy ending, which is what the OP seeks advice against.

Really? I did didn't know o

sisisioge:

Really? I did didn't know o

Come here sugar

bobobooge:


Come here sugar

You have the sweet words, clap for yourself! I think boys should learn to say "come here sugar" then follow it up with "come to daddy"... Then decision could be reached on " who's your daddy now"

Guilderland1:

Bro, even on his youthful age he drinks but not violent as it is now, besides we never done anything that might have pushed him into alcoholism.

I rest my case. Sorry for the insult

sisisioge:




You have the sweet words, clap for yourself! I think boys should learn to say "come here sugar" then follow it up with "come to daddy"... Then decision could be reached on " who's your daddy now"

Noted dear.

Guilderland1:


I am the first son of my family. My Dad is addicted to Drinks and cigarettes.

Bro... you need to understand what it really means to be addicted. Your dad is an alcoholic period. He has to make that decision to get off alcohol... or he has to be locked up. Some people are talking detox.... which is pretty much the same as making him sober ...which he is at times...then what? He must drink... drinks come first... before food or family... if he has to choose to spend his last N5K to buy food for your younger siblings or they will stave to death.... or to buy alcohol... he will buy alcohol.... sense or nonsense... that is the nature of an addiction. After alcohol... comes cigarettes... that's another addiction... so the family is maybe now #3 on his list of most important. What can you do?...not much.
I do understand the threats of violence and abuse. On that you have to challenge him...especially if you are grown.... physically tough enough for him to have doubts if he can manhandle you. Threats do work. You already hung a threat over his head on if he harms your mom. Hang another.... if he continues to harass them ... you will have no choice than to do what you have to do.... even if it means getting your street urchin friends to do the needful. Let him figure what that means. You wouldn't want to wait until he kills your mom to take action. Threats do put them in check.
My former co worker was an alcoholic.... drinks before coming to work... drinks again before starting... by evening he is high..... despite having undergone several alcoholics counselling programmes.... despite having open heart surgery and told to keep off alcohol. He told me I can't understand what it means to be an alcoholic. His life came to a sudden end.... heart attack.

Originalsly:


Bro... you need to understand what it really means to be addicted. Your dad is an alcoholic period. He has to make that decision to get off alcohol... or he has to be locked up. Some people are talking detox.... which is pretty much the same as making him sober ...which he is at times...then what? He must drink... drinks come first... before food or family... if he has to choose to spend his last N5K to buy food for your younger siblings or they will stave to death.... or to buy alcohol... he will buy alcohol.... sense or nonsense... that is the nature of an addiction. After alcohol... comes cigarettes... that's another addiction... so the family is maybe now #3 on his list of most important. What can you do?...not much.
I do understand the threats of violence and abuse. On that you have to challenge him...especially if you are grown.... physically tough enough for him to have doubts if he can manhandle you. Threats do work. You already hung a threat over his head on if he harms your mom. Hang another.... if he continues to harass them ... you will have no choice than to do what you have to do.... even if it means getting your street urchin friends to do the needful. Let him figure what that means. You wouldn't want to wait until he kills your mom to take action. Threats do put them in check.
My former co worker was an alcoholic.... drinks before coming to work... drinks again before starting... by evening he is high..... despite having undergone several alcoholics counselling programmes.... despite having open heart surgery and told to keep off alcohol. He told me I can't understand what it means to be an alcoholic. His life came to a sudden end.... heart attack.

Thanks Bros, but very unfortunate, I have done all this before, to the extent of locking my Dad in one room at about 1am, he said none of us will sleep that night, all this things happened this December - January.
You can't imagine ur dad telling you, ur mum and siblings to leave house for him at 2 am. To where, you can't imagine him shouting on top of his voice and that dead hour... Several time mum left our house to her dad's place, at her age...
We don't even ask him to provide for the family but to stop violent.

I don't think there are about 5 people like him in Nigeria with this kind of character.
You can't imagine my dad stoning my mum and everyone, and funny it will be, if you asked him what is the issue believe me he will start telling you stories of what happened 5 years ago. He will tell you how the did not bring food on time, how they did not do this or that....
The worst is that, he can't even buy common fish for soup but we eat daily from whatever mom cooked.
People said we should remove our heart from him and allow him to live his life.

BUT my dad is still young and healthy to be lost in the cold hand of alcoholism.

The only lessons I learned from his condition is to hate alcohol with great passion....

Thanks for your contributions.

Chubhie:

Your pops is basically showing symptoms of a root cause. Start working on the root cause if you care enough

Root cause? Like what, spiritual realm?

I always pray for him, my next plan is to tell my pastor, mum visited many men of God and the stories are always channeled in such that they will end up putting more fear in the issue... And last last give you large bill to do one thing or the other.

Guilderland1:


.......if you asked him what is the issue believe me he will start telling you stories of what happened 5 years ago.

Hmmmm .....he may have another problem ..... early signs of Alzheimer.... when basically recent events are quickly erased from memory while the older ones are intact but slowly fade from most recent. If he keeps bringing up five years ago and earlier incidents.... but can't really re all recent ones... Alzheimers taking over....prepare for him causing rifts in the family.

Guilderland1:


God forbid, my Dad will not die because, despite his condition I still loved him dearly and pray for him daily. By the grace of God, he will be healed and become a good testimony....

Why are you wicked?

I don't think it is about being wicked or declaring that your dad will not die. But those daily habits of your dad have a resultant effect on his health and life eventually.

He is putting his organs at risk and that is on him.

Guilderland1:


Thanks Bros, but very unfortunate, I have done all this before, to the extent of locking my Dad in one room at about 1am, he said none of us will sleep that night, all this things happened this December - January.
You can't imagine ur dad telling you, ur mum and siblings to leave house for him at 2 am. To where, you can't imagine him shouting on top of his voice and that dead hour... Several time mum left our house to her dad's place, at her age...
We don't even ask him to provide for the family but to stop violent.

I don't think there are about 5 people like him in Nigeria with this kind of character.
You can't imagine my dad stoning my mum and everyone, and funny it will be, if you asked him what is the issue believe me he will start telling you stories of what happened 5 years ago. He will tell you how the did not bring food on time, how they did not do this or that....
The worst is that, he can't even buy common fish for soup but we eat daily from whatever mom cooked.
People said we should remove our heart from him and allow him to live his life.

BUT my dad is still young and healthy to be lost in the cold hand of alcoholism.

The only lessons I learned from his condition is to hate alcohol with great passion....

Thanks for your contributions.

How can you help someone that does not want to be helped. He is still young and he cannot piece his life together. Is he a child?

How can you even say someone that stones your mum and sends her away is a nice person. People like your dad are too lazy to face life's challenges and take responsibility.

He has resigned his fate to drinking and will want to reap from his children when they start doing well. My candid advice would be for mum and children to move to somewhere else and leave him live his life or you could keep dragging him through life as you go

I understand how you feel. His problem is not a closed case, if you will constantly pray for him. If JESUS could make Paul have a change of heart, HE is capable of making your father have a change of mind.

But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”--Matthew 19:26

Abcruz:
I understand how you feel. His problem is not a closed case, if you will constantly pray for him. If JESUS could make Paul have a change of heart, HE is capable of making your father have a change of mind.

But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”--Matthew 19:26

Thanks, I will continue praying for him, maybe devil saw that he have good future and want to end him with alcohol.
Anything he do, always earned him huge money but alcohol always takes everything back almost instantly....