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My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene - Family - Nairaland

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My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by questioner: 6:07pm On Jul 12, 2023
My mum has people staying with her - my niece, an extended family member and a close family friend and her daughter.
We are okay with it cos it ensures she always has company and reduces the need to always travel to check on her.


Recently the monthly subscription I do on the router at home, which usually has carry over data by the time it expires, now lasts about a week before they start calling me to renew
Everybody in the house denied being the cause of the data drain.


Last week, I came to spend some days at my mum's and first thing I did was to install a network tracker to monitor.
Long story short, I discovered the excessive consumption was from my niece but that's not the major issue.
She was visiting porn sites which was draining data but that's still not the major prob.
My problem was the frequency and how long she spent on porn daily.


The day I came, after she retreated to her room, the porn streaming started and didn't stop until the family member sharing a room with her came back at night.
The next morning once the other lady left for work, she continued with the porn until it was time to leve for her lessons.
Once she came back in the afternoon, she did some chores, ate, sat around the sitting room for a while and went inside
and boom the porn resumed until the other girl came around hours later. This was practically the routine for the 4 days I stayed there.


The day I was to leave I told my mum that I observed the drain came from my niece and blocked her from the router.
She called my niece and questioned her but she denied knowing anything about it, I spared her blushes by saying sometimes apps have background processes that consume data without the owner knowing.


Ever since, I have been wondering if I handled the situation properly.
I didn't confront her about it cos I was concerned about the embarrassment she will feel for a male family to find out about her secret.
She might even assume I have told my mum or my elder bro (her dad), which might weigh her down emotionally.


Also, I am concerned if this is a sign of promiscuity, she will be 17 next month And aside the fact that she's quite tall, she might as well pass for a 14 year old. She's barely endowed for her age- bottomline, not the kind of girl, you will associate with waywardness.

My question is
1. Would it have been better if I had confronted her
2. Is this a possible sign of promiscuity ? - if so, I will suggest mum sends her back to her Dad cos I am not sure at her advanced age
she should be dealing with issues like this, to avoid stories that touch later on

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Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by richeeyo(m): 6:09pm On Jul 12, 2023
Abeg leave the girl alone

28 Likes 23 Shares

Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by questioner: 6:13pm On Jul 12, 2023
I also had periods in my early 20s when I was sort of addicted to porn for a couple of years. And it sort of left on its own when I started dating and having sex cool

Also in my case and in many cases, watching porn wasn't associated with promiscuity. Infact, I wasn't freaked about it during the period I consider my wayward phase. I have many friends too who were quite reserved who told me they battled porn while younger.

These are the reasons why I sort of didn't want to address her.

Just that I am a guy and the reality might be different for girls

87 Likes 9 Shares

Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by Sablexxxtoons: 6:20pm On Jul 12, 2023
Lol she's just exploring her taste for BBC's .. every teen has such exploring..

But she should learn to do so with her own data.. and teach her about safe sex before it becomes unwanted pregnant

170 Likes 10 Shares

Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by Wawelexy(m): 6:21pm On Jul 12, 2023
Allow your poor niece breef.... If you stop her from watching it, then she will get in the real act... Nothing can make her stop it now, if you block her from the router, she would purchase data with her money, if you expose her and start monitoring her, she will wait till midnight when everyone is asleep, or better still go into the bathroom to do her thing...

Since you have blocked her from the router, don't kill her self esteem by letting her know you are aware of her secret, allow her use her data, Xvideo and XNXX will reset her brain when she keeps using her food/transport money for subscription every two days.. when the time comes, she will forget about it...

One thing I discovered about porn addiction is joblessness, boredom and being alone, once you get yourself busy, it stops or drastically reduces.

90% of people viewing this thread have once been addicted, or still addicted to porn. Infact this thread will trigger some people to watch it tonight cheesy.. like the false prophet use to say; This I have seen grin

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Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by Henry22(m): 6:27pm On Jul 12, 2023
You guys better watch her closely before she brings shame and embarrassment to the house by getting pregnant because there must be someone she will be practicing what she's watching with.

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Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by questioner: 6:27pm On Jul 12, 2023
Sablexxxtoons:
Lol she's just exploring her taste for BBC's .. every teen has such exploring..

But she should learn to do so with her own data.. and teach her about safe sex before it becomes unwanted pregnant


If it is a guy, I wouldn't bother much cos I know too well that lots of young boys go thru this phase but even though I know it exists but this is the first time I am seeing a girl in this situation - if it portends the beginning of trouble, I will just advice that she should be returned to stay with her dad

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Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by VeeVeeMyLuv(m): 6:30pm On Jul 12, 2023
questioner:
I also had periods in my early 20s when I was sort of addicted to porn for a couple of years. And it sort of left on its own when I started dating and having sex cool

Also in my case and in many cases, watching porn wasn't associated with promiscuity. Infact, I wasn't freaked about it during the period I consider my wayward phase. I have many friends too who were quite reserved who told me they battled porn while younger.

These are the reasons why I sort of didn't want to address her.

Just that I am a guy and the reality might be different for girls
Did you mean she could pass for a 14 y old or 24y old?

1 Like

Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by illicit(m): 6:43pm On Jul 12, 2023
What you should be worried about is if she is downloading or uploading on the site


shocked

54 Likes

Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by Ever8090: 6:53pm On Jul 12, 2023
You don't want to confront her but you come dey confront us, na we use your data watch pone ?

65 Likes 1 Share

Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by Kobojunkie: 6:54pm On Jul 12, 2023
questioner:
The day I was to leave I told my mum that I observed the drain came from my niece and blocked her from the router.
She called my niece and questioned her but she denied knowing anything about it, I spared her blushes by saying sometimes apps have background processes that consume data without the owner knowing.
Ever since, I have been wondering if I handled the situation properly.
I didn't confront her about it cos I was concerned about the embarrassment she will feel for a male family to find out about her secret.
She might even assume I have told my mum or my elder bro (her dad), which might weigh her down emotionally.
Also, I am concerned if this is a sign of promiscuity, she will be 17 next month And aside the fact that she's quite tall, she might as well pass for a 14 year old. She's barely endowed for her age- bottomline, not the kind of girl, you will associate with waywardness.

My question is
1. Would it have been better if I had confronted her
2. Is this a possible sign of promiscuity ? - if so, I will suggest mum sends her back to her Dad cos I am not sure at her advanced age
she should be dealing with issues like this, to avoid stories that touch later on
○ Block access to inappropriate content on the network using your router. There is no sensible reason why you or your mom should be paying for her to visit porn sites. She can go make her own money to do that with her life. undecided

In addition, ensure everyone is aware that there network use is tracked down to ID used to access a site, the number or minutes spent on what page/site etc., so she is alert to the fact that whatever unacceptable activities she engages in online can be reporter back to her parents if need arises. undecided

○ Your mom has already spoken to her about it so no need for you to say much except encourage her to use her mind wisely. She can chose to be promiscuous without porn. That you can't do much about. Sending her back to her Dad because of that will just be your family abandoning her for no real reason. undecided

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Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by Ever8090: 6:55pm On Jul 12, 2023
illicit:
What you should be worried about is if she is downloading or uploading on the site


shocked
you have a point

81 Likes 8 Shares

Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by mariahAngel(f): 7:07pm On Jul 12, 2023
Are you waiting till she gets pregnant?
That "embarrassment" might be what would save her from ruining her future.

You found out for a reason, so do something about it.
If not, you might regret not doing so on time.

97 Likes 5 Shares

Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by Tinububalls: 7:40pm On Jul 12, 2023
A porn in time saves nine.
It's just a phase.

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by Nobody: 7:43pm On Jul 12, 2023
Leave her alone, she's just a curious teenager... I was once like her during that age... cheesy cheesy cheesy

16 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by obinna58(m): 8:00pm On Jul 12, 2023
mariahAngel:
Are you waiting till she gets pregnant?
That "embarrassment" might be what would save her from ruining her future.

You found out for a reason, so do something about it.
If not, you might regret not doing so on time.
Typical fish brain gender

Op embarrassing her wouldn’t solve any problem, it’ll make it worse
Disconnecting her is enough already, let her use her money to explore her curiosity

She doesn’t need any advice rather enlightenment and I’m sure she gathered enough in school to know what protection means, just let her be, in time she’ll adjust

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by obinna58(m): 8:07pm On Jul 12, 2023
Samantha124:
Leave her alone, she's just a curious teenager... I was once like her during that age... cheesy cheesy cheesy
Samantha you!! Why!!! O God why!!! Whyyyyyy!!!!

What section were you checking out grin
You like them big cheesy
I’m sure you know it’s only poor 2inches simp you can get with your feminist ideology

2 Likes

Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by mariahAngel(f): 8:10pm On Jul 12, 2023
obinna58:

Typical fish brain gender

Op embarrassing her wouldn’t solve any problem, it’ll make it worse
Disconnecting her is enough already, let her use her money to explore her curiosity

She doesn’t need any advice rather enlightenment and I’m sure she gathered enough in school to know what protection means, just let her be, in time she’ll adjust

You are so foolish for typing this foolish comment.
If there's anything less than a fish brain, it's what you have.
Foolish boy!

What stops you from giving your own opinion, however foolish it may be?
Must you quote someone with your nonsense?

If she ends up getting pregnant, fools like you will shame her for sure.

What a nonentity!

45 Likes 4 Shares

Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by FairlyUSEDpussy: 8:14pm On Jul 12, 2023
Samantha124:
Leave her alone, she's just a curious teenager... I was once like her during that age... cheesy cheesy cheesy


Hmmmmm......
Always fantasing and getting yo pants wet....... cheesy

6 Likes

Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by obinna58(m): 8:21pm On Jul 12, 2023
mariahAngel:


You are so foolish for typing this foolish comment.
If there's anything less than a fish brain, it's what you have.
Foolish boy!

What stops you from giving your own opinion, however foolish it may be?
Must you quote someone with your nonsense?

If she ends up getting pregnant, fools like you will shame her for sure.

What a nonentity!
The only problem you mentioned is if she ends up getting pregnant or std, that’s the major focus to tackle, mostly importantly she must be prevented from turning to slay queen olosho

That’s the father’s duty, op report to her father and don’t let the mother know, only fathers can handle this properly, she must not be turned to olosho

6 Likes

Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by Nobody: 8:29pm On Jul 12, 2023
I was just a curious teenager and once I was satisfied with what I saw in those sites, I completely stopped checking them.

I was just going through a phase and it soon passed... A lot of teenagers at that age are curious about sex and it's a normal thing.

So the op should just let his niece satisfy her curiosity and the whole will soon pass.

I can't remember the sections I used to visit because it's been a while.
obinna58:

Samantha you!! Why!!! O God why!!! Whyyyyyy!!!!

What section were you checking out grin
You like them big cheesy
I’m sure you know it’s only poor 2inches simp you can get with your feminist ideology

8 Likes

Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by jeromestarks: 8:45pm On Jul 12, 2023
Let your niece BReeFT Don't suffocate her.

4 Likes

Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by questioner: 8:52pm On Jul 12, 2023
Wawelexy:
Allow your poor niece breef.... If you stop her from watching it, then she will get in the real act... Nothing can make her stop it now, if you block her from the router, she would purchase data with her money, if you expose her and start monitoring her, she will wait till midnight when everyone is asleep, or better still go into the bathroom to do her thing...

Since you have blocked her from the router, don't kill her self esteem by letting her know you are aware of her secret, allow her use her data, Xvideo and XNXX will reset her brain when she keeps using her food/transport money for subscription every two days.. when the time comes, she will forget about it...

One thing I discovered about porn addiction is joblessness, boredom and being alone, once you get yourself busy, it stops or drastically reduces.

90% of people viewing this thread have once been addicted, or still addicted to porn. Infact this thread will trigger some people to watch it tonight cheesy.. like the false prophet use to say; This I have seen grin


You echoed my exact view about this.

I just needed the reassurance that I did the right thing

13 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by questioner: 8:56pm On Jul 12, 2023
Kobojunkie:
○ Block access to inappropriate content on the network using your router. There is no sensible reason why you or your mom should be paying for her to visit porn sites. She can go make her own money to do that with her life. undecided

In addition, ensure everyone is aware that there network use is tracked down to ID used to access a site, the number or minutes spent on what page/site etc., so she is alert to the fact that whatever unacceptable activities she engages in online can be reporter back to her parents if need arises. undecided

○ Your mom has already spoken to her about it so no need for you to say much except encourage her to use her mind wisely. She can chose to be promiscuous without porn. That you can't do much about. Sending her back to her Dad because of that will just be your family abandoning her for no real reason. undecided


Thanks for your take.

My mum doesn't know she views or is addicted to porn, I just told her the huge consumption is from her phone.

Also the network tracker is on my system and I have left the place now, so the network is no longer being monitored. Just that her phone is blocked

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by Houseofglam7(f): 9:06pm On Jul 12, 2023
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by questioner: 9:30pm On Jul 12, 2023
Samantha124:
Leave her alone, she's just a curious teenager... I was once like her during that age... cheesy cheesy cheesy


Did you get to a point where it could be considered an addiction? like that's the first thing you reach for when you are alone ?
Because that's what we are dealing with in this case.

5 Likes

Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by Onyewarri(m): 9:31pm On Jul 12, 2023
.
Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by Kobojunkie: 9:40pm On Jul 12, 2023
questioner:
If it is a guy, I wouldn't bother much cos I know too well that lots of young boys go thru this phase but even though I know it exists
■ but this is the first time I am seeing a girl in this situation - if it portends the beginning of trouble, I will just advice that she should be returned to stay with her dad
1. The average Nigerian man today is addicted to porn and or masturbation. Why? Because of what you describe there is bold. undecided

2. Females actually tend to be more resilient than males in such things. That is why there is no porn/masturbation epidemic among females than is observed with males. Leave her alone abeg! Given your biased approach, i am at least glad she was not left in your care but in your mom's. undecided

3 Likes

Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by Kobojunkie: 9:51pm On Jul 12, 2023
questioner:
Thanks for your take. My mum doesn't know she views or is addicted to porn, I just told her the huge consumption is from her phone.
■ Also the network tracker is on my system and I have left the place now, so the network is no longer being monitored. Just that her phone is blocked
1. What exactly did your mom speak to her about then? undecided

2. Routers usually come with ware to help track network traffic and maybe even send you an email on a regular basis too. So maybe you can tell her that you are setting it up and monitoring the sites she accesses to score her off. Then when next you are at your mom's, you can put parental lock on and also set network monitor on proper then. The key is to get her scared and aware that you are able to sniff her online activities out. undecided

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by Nobody: 9:59pm On Jul 12, 2023
No, I was never addicted... With me it was more of a curiosity rather than an addiction.

I only visited those sites for about two or three months and it wasn't an everyday thing, but there were some days whereby I'd binge watch them... Once I was satisfied with what I saw, I stopped and I haven't been to any of those sites till today.

I too was around 17 years old when the whole thing happened.
questioner:



Did you get to a point where it could be considered an addiction? like that's the first thing you reach for when you are alone ?
Because that's what we are dealing with in this case.

3 Likes

Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by Enskynelson(m): 10:41pm On Jul 12, 2023
OK. Let's say she is too young to know the deadly effects of what she is doing. But, what about you? Why don't you realise that this is not the best way to handle this? The society has become so sick... I see many sick adults above me seeing nothing wrong with this. Either male or female, I won't keep quiet if I were in your shoes. If you cannot talk to her, please call father and report to him let him know what best to do. It is well with you OP. Your sickness seems worse than that of your niece.

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: My 17 Year Old Niece Is Addicted To Porn - Should I Intervene by APCNig: 11:53pm On Jul 12, 2023
richeeyo:
Abeg leave the girl alone

Na Ogun go kee you

9 Likes 1 Share

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