A relationship is the pre-adventure into marriage.
Many are into relationships but only few seems to be well fulfilled in such.
After series of researches and findings,I have outlined the steps to having a successful relationship before marriage.

(1)DISCOVER YOUR PURPOSE
Purpose is the original intentions,plans, objective and the end mission according to which a product is made/created.
You can not fulfill your purpose without knowing what is your purpose? Late Dr.Myles Munroe Say's "When purpose is not known,abuse is inevitable"
Human were not just meant to have an ordinary weight and occupy space like an ordinary " matter"
We are not meant to come to this planet and live as an ordinary folk's,we are here for a mission and an objective and there must be a daily plan's, actions with an allotted time allocated to it.
We can't stay here forever and we are not coming back,we are not celestial being's, we have spirit, soul and body as a tripartite being.
Life should be taken serious and we should run to destiny in maximal speed in order to fulfill the overall impact on earth and so as not to live a life of regret and die empty while all the God given potentials,gifts, talent's are buried in us.
I have outlined some basic ways by which our purpose can be discovered. Less I forget.
Purpose is not a once in a life time event,it is a journey of life in phase's which is made visible when the present phase had been achieved before moving to the next,"when you don't know where you are going to in life,anywhere you get to would look like it"
A relationship would be unfulfilling until you know who you are as a person. "When you know who you are,you would know what to do"
An average naija relationship seems so boring, hangout, talks,calls,dinner and sex.
Since the plan is to know more about the person I am into a relationship with, then I should discover who I am at first before trying to know the other person.
Until you locate and discover your God given potentials, goals,vision's and dreams, you can never help your partner to discover there own.


(2)BE A VALUE ADDING PERSONALITY

Wealth is generated by giving out what people really need,how much value do you hold in you? how do you see yourself ? be a value adding person,have your own personal signature (influence).
Let people know you by your readiness to do things differently, "a problem can never be solved at the same level it was created"
A period of relationship should be a time to know the person you did planned to get married to.
In life,the whole turmoil happening in every part of the world is just because human want to force themselves on an individuals. The spirit of control,dominance,demonic manipulations and oppression had filled the whole earth.
Everything in life grows by the law of nature but the human mind is the only asset whose growth must be intentional.
Until you build your capacity to accommodate your performance in life,you would always fall off all your potentials.It's always capacity been enlarged before performance been sustained.
Until you know your own innate values, you can not add value to another person.
Each partner in every relationship must add value to one another.I would recommend a book authored by Tim Lahaye titled 'Why you Act the way you Do' this book helps you to know your strenght,limitations and weaknesses.
When you as a person who had already discover why you are here on earth and what God has planned for you precept upon precepts, you would add value to human race.
Teach your partner how to achieve a more better results and how to set goals,meet targeted objectives and live a life of fulfillment.
What most youth assumed to be God's delay and denial is just God trying to protect them from future heartbreak and crashed marriage.
While you are seeking for who to marry or working on any relationship, you must work on yourself and improve on your strength.
Your weaknesses must also be worked upon and go all the way to improve upon your destiny by painstakingly adding values to yourself.


3)DISCUSS ABOUT EVERYTHING

I sometimes wonder what an average naija youth talk about while in a relationship.
Do you spend a whole day,months and years talking about frivolities?
We are on a test transmission to make a life long commitment and we do not have an end in view about the success of our union.
What are your dreams,passions,ambitions and visions you had as a child?
Do you have a past you want me to know as well as mine too which could harm the marriage if not discussed about ?
What are your views about religion,do you believe in God as the supreme ruler of the universe or you are an atheist ?
Do you love kids as much as I do? what numbers of children do you want us to have? in the hope of relocating abroad, how well do you think you can cope till when the family comes over?
What is your view about sex? like how many times per week can we fix our sexual acts? I know this question about sexual timetable might be somehow funny.
Like do we need to fix a stipulated time to copulate.Wait till when kids starts coming.
When you are about having a pre-intimacy with your spouse and one of your kids banged on your door and found his/her parents completely naked.
Then you would need to spend a whole day trying to explain what mum and dad are doing.You can save yourself off such stress if a time table is at hand.
Undisputed there are times many unscheduled sex would come,that's quite okay if the kids are not yet in the marriage or are on Hols.
Ask questions on each partners sex libido,can you do without sex for days,weeks,month's, if one of us have a cause to travel,like how many days,weeks can you abstain from sex until we see again.

(4)DEVELOP AN ENABLING MATURITY (spiritual, financial, emotional and physical maturity)

If God was the person who established marriage as written in Genesis 2:24 " Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother,and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" then you should be aware you would need him all the way through out the journey of your marriage.
Marriage is the only institution on earth which you are already given the certificate before the commencement of the coursework.
All other institutions degrees are awarded after the tenure of the academic sessions for your course expires.Men needs to established a solid relationship with God before thinking about who to marry.
You can not be divinely led by God here on earth and end up in shame and not be hugely successful, a man who has a daily and workable relationship with his maker is already on the path of fulfilment in life and destiny, a permanent walk with God would reveal your nature to yourself, your strength, weakness,talent's, gifts and potentials
It's going to be difficult to handle a woman when you do not know who you are ? and your own make up,the experiences you have had as a single man is nothing compared to what the married do have day in day out. Marriage has a lot of daily surprise's from both end not necessarily all negative experiences thou.
You can only discover yourself by having a personal knowledge of who God is before discovering the nature of your spouse.
All human were meant to come to earth to fulfill a specific purpose on earth,we were not meant to just have weight and occupy space like "matter" the only way to discover what your purpose on earth is to check your dominating thoughts that seems not to go away,passion,goal's and heart desires"
If purpose is not known,abuse is definitely inevitable"we are not meant to be living a purposeless life,we can discover our purpose by having a mission on why you do thing's? single men you need to discover who you are far ahead of being married by knowing God
You need to have a responsibility mindset.
The word responsibility is a compound word from 'Response' and 'Ability' it means respond to your ability and the capacity for effective performance.
There is no amount of responsibility a single man does which is compared to what married men do
Men need to understand that marriage has a compounded nature, as you are thinking about your own plans, you include your wife own along with the children and occasionally little from the in laws,so therefore your mind engagement is already placed on full day permanent shift forever.
Marriage is a great responsibility and it do comes with daily and painstaking sacrifice,your time is not only yours,your personal assets too and your money is not only yours.
It is while you are married that you would see how big little cash as small as a #1000 note can be,the power of money is not in it volumes alone but it timing in meeting your expenses,men must make plans to make there marriage work out and have an end result in view.
You need emotional maturity.The word emotional maturity has to do with how you handle your emotions in day to day challenges, that is the ability to know what to say? when to say it ? and how to say it ? despite the turmoil going on in your mind and heart,men must know how to handle any woman successfully.
Men needs huge emotional maturity, your spouse would show you a dynamic nature which you had never seen while in the relationship not to mind the years of your courtship,change is the only constant thing on earth.
God is the only person who does not change,human are a real complicated being,why not? God who is a spirit made human,how do you expect another spirit to behave especially a woman?
A woman verbal power is in her tongue.If you want to keep listening to what a woman says when she is angry and establish your decision on it, you would definitely commit a real crime.
The psychologist says that men says an average of 1500 words per day,while women says about 3500 words per day,can you see why our women are so wonderful.
Women are emotional while men are logical,women needs a longer process to start up unlike men,this is the reason why men can have sex anytime and anywhere without a prior notice of engagement,a woman prepares for sex in her mind while taking her feelings into consideration,she needs mental preparation.
So much reason women needs large amount of pre-intimacy before sexual engagement,how do you drive your car? do you start the ignition without some minute warm up and move on immediately, you won't go far with such car.
Women's thought are multifaceted unlike men who thinks on a single line,when a man wakes up in the morning, right at the new day,he had already scheduled his daily plans in order of importance and he won't go to the next until he finishes the other.
A woman can start up several tasks simultaneously, she can cook,do the laundry,clothes the kids,start to sweep and arrange the room at different interval and doing a little of it in the space of hours and still finish up after a long time.
You also need financial maturity.All single men who wishes to be married must have a steady source of income,what is the meaning of the word 'steady' it meant that you must have a particular amount of cash which comes in either weekly or monthly in order to have a successful marriage.
Marriage comes with greater financial responsibility,how do you want to explain to your kids of 2yrs.that the reason why there is no food on the table is that the state government is owing you 7 months salary even if your wife do understand.
You don't pay bill with ordinary talks in marriage, your cash should speak,the more reason while you are still single,you need to upgrade your financial management skill.
The era of wasteful spending on frivolities should be abolished, to relieve the financial burdens in the marriage.
Every man must have multiple streams of income either as investment in assets or a side business,this source might not be something so huge but it should be sufficient enough to put food on your table if the weekly / monthly incomes are not forthcoming.

Teacher

Alamu1111:
Teacher

I see you.

Alamu1111:
Teacher

no be small thing.