kennygee:
Dear woman, I can imagine the emotional and psychological pain you're going thru, however, making a decision right now might not be wise cause it will be an emotional one.

Just keep praying for him and ask God for strength to overcome. It is only when there's a crack in the wall that a lizard can enter.

Start working out the little way you can, start dressing really nice, so nice you'll get compliments outside. It will improve your self esteem, wear make up, smell nice. It might not stop him from cheating but it will build up your self esteem and confidence so much that you'll see you're not the problem.

You'll be in a better place to decide if you want to stay with him or leave.

All the best.

I hope you have a job or a business sha?

Cause the best security a woman can have is her own money.

I disagree with this.
And what will be the prayer point?
That God should help him have control over his 3rd leg, or that God should send the mistress away in his life?
She married a foolish man, who is not just a cheat but arrogant.
He needs to be sober first and seek his wife forgiveness.
What nonsense.

kennygee:


Imagine if every woman leaves her man because he cheats.

Are you saying the marriage can't be redeemed?

never said the marriage can't be redeemed, what I said was leave first and sort things out later, fire don't just burn, there are materials that ignites it. First was the husbands reckless response and second was the mistress gaining unrestricted access to the home. Environment no longer safe for the lady n her baby. SAFETY FIRST

RZArecta2:
funny advice are you married and has your husband ever cheated on you with a neighbour ? Answer those questions first and imagine a scenario where you're trying to implement your advice while seeing the woman who fùcks your husband every single day of the year. Even I as a man can't condone the nonsense her husband is putting her through

You people who always stress on infidelity, isn't there room for forgiveness?

I use to say "if my husband cheats on me, I'll leave". But wisdom has taught me better.

The mess in her home might just be the devil's way of pushing her out of her home for a strange woman to enter.

It is not a battle she can fight with force and quarrels.

ojkalito:
never said the marriage can't be redeemed, what I said was leave first then and sort things out later, fire don't just burn, there are materials that ignites it. First was the husbands reckless response and second was the mistress gaining unrestricted access to the home. Environment no longer safe for the lady n her baby. SAFETY FIRST

She will leave and a Jezebel will come and be wife number 2.

I actually feel for her. I don't like the way some men treat their wives because of one small girl. It's so disheartened.

Jentle244:

I feel ur pain really

First of all what I would say is this: He body shames u at any given opportunity. I would say say u work on ur body, do some exercise, avoid fatty foods, watch your diet. and be discipled about it. I guess ur husband married u a slim lady? go back to that ur former shape.

If u ask me I don't like women who are fat unnecessarily. thruth be told.

So work on ur weight and body size.


Secondly, are u a spiritual woman?

A woman who kneels before God will stand before men.

I use to know an aunt whose husband cheats on her. Every time she complains to my mum until my mum told her what to do. She prayed a prayer that no man who cheats on his wife to pray


"O Lord my his penis never stand if he meets a strange woman" an it worked like fire cause God has said whatever God has joined together let no man put asunder, that girl is trying to put asunder(divide) in your marriage.


So what am trying to say is that u must be a prayer woman if u want a peaceful home.



Thirdly, Know how to cook, especially his favorite. it is said that the way to a man's heart is through the stomach which invariably means food, good food as at that. if u don't know learn from ur friends.

Fourthly, Be romantic, my sister know how to dob it in bed, like the above saying, another way to a Man's heart is through sex. This is the 21st century where the internet is at our finger tips. learn how to seduce him, learn how to u know moan, wriggle your body etc. Am not saying u should watch porn.



And Lastly, Be supportive: supportive in the sense that u are supportive emotionally, money wise and prayer wise.


In terms of money if u don't have something doing, men tend to get irritated especially when he has a girl outside. Learn a handwork such as decoration, pastry, confectioneries, catering etc



The ball is in your Court



I rest my case

Rubbish! Is this the kind of advice you would give to a man whose wife is cheating?

OP get a divorce.

Your husband is utterly useless.

He's hurting you and doesn't care about your emotions...throw the full man away.
Don't let anyone deceive you with stupid praises about "being strong" and all that.

YOUR HAPPINESS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.

Don't let fear of the unknown make you a miserable woman all your life.

Don't let that trashy man mess with your self esteem.

Be a bad bitch and take control of your life!

I'm with you.

I don't usually reply emails from here but in case you need someone to lift your spirits , send a pm.

You are a QUEEN. He's a frog.

I hate men who lack respect for their wives.

I hope you are not a full time wife sha?

I hate house wife title, makes a woman vulnerable.

All women should be self dependent to gain some respect from their husband.

kennygee:


She will leave and a Jezebel will come and be wife number 2.

would you rather have her and her baby killed while fighting off the Jezebel? Marriage is not a do or die affair.

kennygee:


You people who always stress on infidelity, isn't there room for forgiveness?

I use to say "if my husband cheats on me, I'll leave". But wisdom has taught me better.

The mess in her home might just be the devil's way of pushing her out of her home for a strange woman to enter.

It is not a battle she can fight with force and quarrels.

My dear it isn't so much just his cheating as it is his response.

He clearly gives no fvcks and was even gloating about having a license to cheat because he is a so called African man, pure arrogance.

People cheat, fine, some people decide to stay and iron out their issues but this only works when the cheater recognises his fault at the very LEAST. The OPs husband is just irredeemable

Thank God he's cheating with your neighbor, suppose it's your sister or your Mum or your househelp? Always see the blessing.

shameless man.A man dat open his gutter mouth and kal/say her wife bweast don turn to slippers isn't a man but a useless idio.t.@Op,where/how do you meet dis hopeless thing ? Women don sufa

RZArecta2:
funny advice are you married and has your husband ever cheated on you with a neighbour ? Answer those questions first and imagine a scenario where you're trying to implement your advice while seeing the woman who fùcks your husband every single day of the year. Even I as a man can't condone the nonsense her husband is putting her through

Chop knuckle Jor.

Pray for who, say wetin?

ibkayee:

My dear it isn't so much just his cheating as it is his response.

No remorse and pure arrogance.

People cheat, fine, some people decide to stay and iron out their issues but this only works when the cheater recognises his fault at the very LEAST. The OPs husband is just irredeemable

I don't believe he is irredeemable. No one is irredeemable. If you ask @OP now, she will tell you he wasn't always that way.

Damn!!!Madam Sorry ohh....This is that point where u say " It's Complicated" under ur relationship status....It is getting really Complicated.

i pity ur neighbor sha.,maybe she neva jam crase fellow b4.

kennygee:


I don't believe he is irredeemable. No one is irredeemable. If you ask @OP now, she will tell you he wasn't always that way.

Ok no one is irredeemable, but everyone does not deserve the same amount of patience

kennygee:


I've seen it happen, I've seen prayers turn around impossible situations. It depends on your relationship with God and your ability to pray through the situation.

God didn't intend for marriage to be this way, so when a marriage is going through a storm, it can be calmed by prayers.

no ma..better to leave than for either party to kill or hurt themselves... that scenario is usually the probable ending of a sad marriage and happens far more frequently than the ones mere " prayers " has restored..
there are some broken things that can never be fixed,especially a marriage where only one of party is interested in restoring sanity..
I'm anti- divorce myself.

Acidosis:

To be honest, I do not think it is so hard to identify a potential or "would-be" cheat during courtship.

Your husband did not cheat because of your appearance, what you said, did or how you behave. Your husband cheated on you because he's simply a cheat, a child of darkness who masqueraded as a saint, and pretended to be of good intention.

He failed in the sense of pretence, and you failed in the sense that, for some reasons best known to you, you couldn't discover that part of him.

You have two options;

Quit and count your losses OR stay put in the hope that he would someday change. Aside these two, there's nothing else you can do.

Very blunt undiluted truth.

Jentle244:




I feel ur pain really

First of all what I would say is this: He body shames u at any given opportunity. I would say say u work on ur body, do some exercise, avoid fatty foods, watch your diet. and be discipled about it. I guess ur husband married u a slim lady? go back to that ur former shape.

If u ask me I don't like women who are fat unnecessarily. thruth be told.

So work on ur weight and body size.




Secondly, are u a spiritual woman?

A woman who kneels before God will stand before men.

I use to know an aunt whose husband cheats on her. Every time she complains to my mum until my mum told her what to do. She prayed a prayer that no man who cheats on his wife to pray


"O Lord my his penis never stand if he meets a strange woman" an it worked like fire cause God has said whatever God has joined together let no man put asunder, that girl is trying to put asunder(divide) in your marriage.


So what am trying to say is that u must be a prayer woman if u want a peaceful home.





Thirdly, Know how to cook, especially his favorite. it is said that the way to a man's heart is through the stomach which invariably means food, good food as at that. if u don't know learn from ur friends.

Fourthly, Be romantic, my sister know how to dob it in bed, like the above saying, another way to a Man's heart is through sex. This is the 21st century where the internet is at our finger tips. learn how to seduce him, learn how to u know moan, wriggle your body etc. Am not saying u should watch porn.



And Lastly, Be supportive: supportive in the sense that u are supportive emotionally, money wise and prayer wise.


In terms of money if u don't have something doing, men tend to get irritated especially when he has a girl outside. Learn a handwork such as decoration, pastry, confectioneries, catering etc



The ball is in your Court



I rest my case

@bolded are you for real? As in be supportive emotionally, money wise MONEY WISE to a cheating man? Really? I'm tired

ojkalito:
would you rather have her and her baby killed while fighting off the Jezebel? Marriage is not a do or die affair.

I'm not an advocate of staying in a marriage with domestic abuse, I advise separation in that instance.

Some women are Jezebels, they just want to pitch their tent with a man they think they can control, even if he has a family.

If she leaves, she will only make it easier for these women to ruin her home.

oluplus:

Chop knuckle Jor.

Pray for who, say wetin?

Nna enh, nothing wey man no go see o

Your neighbor sweet pass you. Eyah

olril17:

no ma..better to leave than for either party to kill or hurt themselves... that scenario is usually the probable ending of a sad marriage and happens far more frequently than the ones mere " prayers " has restored..
there are some broken things that can never be fixed,especially a marriage where only one of party is interested in restoring sanity..
I'm anti- divorce myself.

May God help her.

She doesn't need a rash decision now.

ibkayee:

Ok no one is irredeemable, but everyone does not deserve the same amount of patience

How long has she been married to this man?

I can't imagine how painful it is, especially since the man doesn't even regard her but she shouldn't leave without trying her best to make it work.

My sister I have been in this same situation about two years ago. The truth is nobody can tell you what or how to feel right now. I was raving mad and almost had a heart attack but God willing I scaled through.Like someone mentioned before your only security is your own money. Buy a body if you can afford it and raise your head up. You are not the problem. It's his shame not yours. Sister ask God to give you the strength to overcome this betrayal and move ahead with or without him. The other woman will find her nemesis in time with or without your husband. Be kind to yourself.

Control your actions. Don't kill or wound anybody.If you can't control your actions any longer, pack your stuffs and leave. If your man add violence to this psychological abuse, run for your life..

Needtolove:
Hi nairalanders this post is going to be quite disorganized, as I am not such a good writer. Just need an avenue to let our some steam. No advise needed too. The only way forward for me is to quit my marriage.

The reason for this write up is to ease the pain of betrayal that comes from my husband cheating on me with a our neighbor,what really hurts is that after I investigated and found out her identity, I presented him with hard evidence ,instead of an apology he said he is an African man o and polygamy is allowed. He says I should better mind my business as the said girl is not disturbing me. He further stated that the girl is crazy o, so I should not even think of confronting her

Just this morning she had the nerve to come to my apartment with her room mate to clarify some house issues. The nerve of all of them. Really want to make them pay. Really want to make my husband suffer.
This guy body shames me at any chance he gets. (I have a four month old baby) he says am ugly and shapless, and my breast are flat

I want African men to know that women have feelings too, am expected to bottle up my pain and be a woman. When I react violently he calls me mad woman. He is still with her and I am still expected to mind my business.
I will though, but they will both get it.

breakerofchains:
OP get a divorce.

Your husband is utterly useless.

He's hurting you and doesn't care about your emotions...throw the full man away.
Don't let anyone deceive you with stupid praises about "being strong" and all that.

YOUR HAPPINESS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.

Don't let fear of the unknown make you a miserable woman all your life.

Don't let that trashy man mess with your self esteem.

Be a bad bitch and take control of your life!

I'm with you.

I don't usually reply emails from here but in case you need someone to lift your spirits , send a pm.

You are a QUEEN. He's a frog.

breakerofchains:
OP get a divorce.

Your husband is utterly useless.

He's hurting you and doesn't care about your emotions...throw the full man away.
Don't let anyone deceive you with stupid praises about "being strong" and all that.

YOUR HAPPINESS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.

Don't let fear of the unknown make you a miserable woman all your life.

Don't let that trashy man mess with your self esteem.

Be a bad bitch and take control of your life!

I'm with you.

I don't usually reply emails from here but in case you need someone to lift your spirits , send a pm.

You are a QUEEN. He's a frog.

divorce isnt the solution. .

Anoda weak silly woman. If u cant divorce him keep shut

BitmapStudios:

I tried sending you an email but I don't understand this Nairaland system. Can you send me email or what's app number to +2349023548199?
Did you know there are much better ways to this than your initial resolution? Let's talk, please.

BitmapStudios:

I tried sending you an email but I don't understand this Nairaland system. Can you send me email or what's app number to +2349023548199?
Did you know there are much better ways to this than your initial resolution? Let's talk, please.

from fryin pan to .....