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How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble - Education - Nairaland

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How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by ijustdey: 12:47pm On Jun 09
On several occasions, I have heard phrases like “English no be money, grammar no be success, grammar no be money”.

Yes! I totally I agree, one hundred per cent. So, putting things in view, why do we now go out of our ways to make English language our own? We have our own Pidgin English which has spread across the country. Thanks to Warri indigenes. I can even say it has now become almost a global (sic) language. It is safer to speak it than scatter the regular English language.

Recently, a huge fight broke out in my neighborhood, resulting to an arrest that led a jail term of one of our neighbours. The fight was so massive that others who knew nothing about it even joined.

Some took sides, it was just crazy.

Frantically, there was bloodshed, it really went out of hand. The guy in question was put behind bars, not because he physically assaulted his neighbor. No, not even because he raised a finger at her. His crime was that his neighbour’s wife greeted him and responded by saying “oh hello my dear!” That was it. The woman, at first corrected him by asking him to withdraw the statement and respond appropriately to her. Sighting the instance that she greeted him respectful and as a married woman, she deserved to be accorded with the same respect. The man, thinking it was a trivial issue brushed her outburst aside. She thereafter held unto his shirt, insisting that he must withdraw the response to her greeting because she was not “his dear”.

The raising of their voices drew the attention of other neighbours and passersby. Not long after, the husband who was a retired police officer insisted that the man must be arrested for addressing his wife inappropriately.

Ha! “My dear.” What could be wrong with these two words? They sound harmless, but critically analysing it, one could begin to see that it could sometimes sound condescending. In my part of the country, we address one with “my dear” when the person is younger or of lower economic status.

For instance, your younger sibling, or your junior colleague. I don’t recall us using it for a contemporary or even a friend. We should perhaps learn to draw the line on how we address people. I know of a particular part of the country where my “my dear” is used on all individuals. I gave a friend a ride and could recall her talking on the phone with a cleric and as she was ending the call , I heard her address him as ‘my dear’.

To some, it might be just nothing but it could be sensitive to other people’s disposition and ideologies. Be respectful. What’s wrong with, Good morning sir, and the man responds, good morning madam. Good morning Mama Buky. I have heard younger people say to their elders , how are you ma, how are you sir. This is very civil if you ask me. Civil and respectful. We need to understand that we are not whites. We should not be ‘ over sabi’.

Respect begets respect. If only my neighbour was civil enough to say ” how are you madam”? Or better still, good morning madam, he would be in his house today… Lol

“My dear” maybe nothing to you but some people think otherwise. It is no skin off your nose if we exchange pleasantries in an African way.

You never know, it could get you out of trouble.


https://thenationonlineng.net/how-the-phrase-my-dear-can-put-you-in-trouble/

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Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by thesicilian: 12:54pm On Jun 09
If someone objects to the way you have greeted or responded to his or her greeting, simply apologize and move on. Life's too short to be spent on frivolities.

312 Likes 9 Shares

Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by AmazonTopaz: 12:55pm On Jun 09
There is nothing wrong with the word "my dear".

The woman has issues serious one.
It is people who misinterpret the word that has issues.

188 Likes 6 Shares

Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by SageMK(m): 12:55pm On Jun 09
So in summary, we should simply stop speaking good English around illiterates to avoid being brutalized? grin

329 Likes 21 Shares

Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by AmazonTopaz: 12:57pm On Jun 09
SageMK:
So in summary, we should simply stop speaking good English around illiterates to avoid being brutalized? grin
Lol. grin grin

35 Likes

Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by Nbote(m): 12:59pm On Jun 09
There is absolutely nothing wrong with MY DEAR and definitely something wrong with d man and d wife.....

Chances are dat d woman had been waiting for an opportunity to DEAL with d guy and used dis instance as one. Now lemme explain. I'm sure dat wasn't d first time d young man had been greeting d woman. I'm also sure dat wasn't d first time d guy responded with MY DEAR. And it's obvious dey used to share playful banter considering d young man waved aside her corrections trivially. Jus mayb d young man had ignored passes she's been making at him and she's hell-bent on showing him. One thing is certain, something went on behind d scenes between dem

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Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by SageMK(m): 1:01pm On Jun 09
AmazonTopaz:

Lol. grin grin

Shebi you hear wetin the OP talk?
Dey careful when you dey speak the Queen's English grin

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by Callertunez: 1:07pm On Jun 09
OP my dear gringrin.... but hope you're not a guy sha, if not I withdraw my comment cheesycheesy

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Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by AmazonTopaz: 1:18pm On Jun 09
SageMK:


Shebi you hear wetin the OP talk?
Dey careful when you dey speak the Queen's English grin
Na pidgin I speak pass self. grin cheesy

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by Olorunnim: 1:23pm On Jun 09
That woman is Nutts and so is the husband, I've been using that word for ages no problems I remember not to use in your area Where do you live?

8 Likes

Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by CosmicPhoenix: 2:16pm On Jun 09
SageMK:
So in summary, we should simply stop speaking good English around illiterates to avoid being brutalized? grin

12 Likes

Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by Deepfeel(m): 2:22pm On Jun 09
grin undecided
Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by derrydinny: 2:41pm On Jun 09
I agree with the writer, we should always know how to address others to avoid unnecessary problems, the man would be safe if he had explained to the woman how harmless the words are


it is not even in Nigeria alone, you can even get in trouble with the way you address people everywhere, in fact it is getting more serious in the western countries because you can suddenly be accused of being a homophobe or a racist cause of a harmless comment

15 Likes 1 Share

Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by pocohantas(f): 2:53pm On Jun 09
I agree with the writer, most times people use it to address someone they feel is beneath them. By age or whatever category they deem fit.

How many of the supposed educated people would respond to our MDs with "my dear". I bet none. That part of your brain that is wired to say dear will switch off and use Sir/Madam.

I really do not take it seriously, but I have issues with people using unnecessary endearments for me. Especially people of the opposite sex who I share no BOND with. I had this one that kept calling me sweetness. Who is your sweetness? undecided

At work, I tell the junior staff, don't call me aunty, sister...call me by my first name. Feel free to add a Miss if you want.

I address people by their first names. Except my shugar...

46 Likes 5 Shares

Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by Kingkun69(m): 3:38pm On Jun 09
But I hate that phrase so much it irks my soul

5 Likes

Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by Adasun(m): 4:15pm On Jun 09
Sir is also use for slaves bfor,what about dat.the woman has an underground beef.those bi.tch hate rejection so much and can go to any length to deal with u if u reject their advances

1 Like

Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by respect80(m): 5:55pm On Jun 09
My dear, I don't have anything to say about this matter.

26 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by ornicus: 6:02pm On Jun 09
pocohantas:
I agree with the writer, most times people use it to address someone they feel is beneath them. By age or whatever category they deem fit.

How many of the supposed educated people would respond to our MDs with "my dear". I bet none. That part of your brain that is wired to say dear will switch off and use Sir/Madam.

I really do not take it seriously, but I have issues with people using unnecessary endearments for me. Especially people of the opposite sex who I share no BOND with. I had this one that kept calling me sweetness. Who is your sweetness? undecided

At work, I tell the junior staff, don't call me aunty, sister...call me by my first name. Feel free to add a Miss if you want.

I address people by their first names. Except my shugar...

Wazup sweery

19 Likes 1 Share

Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by Skmoda360(m): 6:17pm On Jun 09
the problem is the way we use "my dear" and the after effect because most Nigerians don't believe in all this present American or British use of English. most people think "my dear" belittle them hence why they react after using it to address them especially if they are older than the person using it to address them.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by HitSong: 6:35pm On Jun 09
grin

Plenty Mumu guys like to dey use am ..

2 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by Trendsnews: 6:36pm On Jun 09
ijustdey:







https://thenationonlineng.net/how-the-phrase-my-dear-can-put-you-in-trouble/



we all know that no right thinking person will call someone's partner my dear.

Anyway, Please i will build a Professional Logo for your Product or Business for 1k Only for 10 Nairalanders Only
You can Hit me up on WhatsApp through this link
https://wa.me/2349072270602

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by BakireBulmaker: 6:36pm On Jun 09
K

1 Like 1 Share

Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by hemartins(m): 6:37pm On Jun 09
What I find facinating is how people think.

megareal:


So how come they use 'Dear Sir/Madam' on official letters?

God bless you.

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by sdevi: 6:38pm On Jun 09
Oh dear .. cheesy

1 Like

Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by hisexcellency34: 6:39pm On Jun 09
Only in Nigeria here. The whites dont count that rubbish
Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by Lawrry(m): 6:39pm On Jun 09
What of "Moi dear"?

3 Likes

Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by Belial06: 6:39pm On Jun 09
If you feel free to call me my dear unnecessarily then I will feel free to tell you to fūck off unnecessarily too

6 Likes

Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by AmazingELixir: 6:39pm On Jun 09
grin grin

Pipu sef....so wetin go happen to the

Dear sir,
Dear madam,
Dear Amina
Dear Bello
Dear Funke
Dear Buhari etc

We dey write for letters naa

14 Likes 1 Share

Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by VillagePipu: 6:39pm On Jun 09
Poverty stricken neighbours in a poor neighbourhood.

Make money and nonsense would stop. You would tell your neighbour's wife 'how are you my dear' in the presence of her husband and he would be the one to answer "We are fine sir".

Money stops nonsense.

52 Likes 3 Shares

Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by Belial06: 6:40pm On Jun 09
pocohantas:
I agree with the writer, most times people use it to address someone they feel is beneath them. By age or whatever category they deem fit.

How many of the supposed educated people would respond to our MDs with "my dear". I bet none. That part of your brain that is wired to say dear will switch off and use Sir/Madam.

I really do not take it seriously, but I have issues with people using unnecessary endearments for me. Especially people of the opposite sex who I share no BOND with. I had this one that kept calling me sweetness. Who is your sweetness? undecided

At work, I tell the junior staff, don't call me aunty, sister...call me by my first name. Feel free to add a Miss if you want.

I address people by their first names. Except my shugar...

You should apply for a beauty pageant with that your selfie you are sure to win undecided

1 Like

Re: How The Phrase ‘my Dear’ Can Put You In Trouble by RonKenoly: 6:41pm On Jun 09
My dear it won't.

2 Likes 1 Share

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