TSRC:
As a youth leader I was speaking to a lady in church on Sunday asking about her general well being.

She couldn't even make proper eye contact, and was busy behaving like the queen of England because of beauty and youth.

I just dey look am.

You wanted her to hug you
Youth leader

Safitu:
Okay fair enough, that’s the case for some women. But some do not have thousands of guys chasing them? I don’t understand where this misconception comes from. Some women really struggle all their life to find a decent man because men just do not come their way. Or what about women who are introverted, or the indoor type who don’t meet people like others? Some of you men can be soo myopic, it’s disgusting.

The average young woman gets hundreds of suitors yearly. If you desire marriage, you have to put yourself in environments where marriageable men frequent. You can't lock yourself up in your youth and then come out of your shell in your 30s it doesn't make sense.

There is such a thing as mating strategy. Both genders would be wise to learn these strategies. One problem women today face is taking their youth for granted. It's usually a rude awakening when they wake up in their older years to realise partnering is very much about timing.

Abfinest007:
I got no sympathy for u .what were u doing before u got to ur mid thirties .I guess u chase d serious guys away

you must be very stupid for this senseless talk. How old are you? I guess you are in your mid twenties. Don't worry. It's ahead of you as well. U na go know whatsup

15ssDRIVE:



Peaceful negotiations world like fire in a good relationship about to go sour! The marriage ain’t dead yet oh.

If she leave the Dead marriage as you say,then she move to ??

God will give her the right man, who will love her as the bible recommends.

Nobody:
he has done worse to me in public. even threatening to break my head in public oh in d presence of people

Kai, so @Elesta don deactivate her account sharp sharp!
Badt woman!
Abeg, come back and tell us you have "freed' the unfortunate man from your bondage.
God answers one's prayer in miraculous ways......his Mother's prayer (from the grave) on him is finally bening answered.

Hello family, I have a long post about my terrible marriage. Please bear with me, I just have to pour everything out because it's killing me slowly.
I am in my mid 30's ,got married to this man in his mid 40's who has never been married before.We attend the same church although different branches, so the pastor of his branch and the pastor of my branch brought us together. We started dating and he seemed head over heels and started talking about marriage immediately. At first, the way he was talking and his reaction to things I wasn't interested and I even told him, but he begged me and the pastor begged me so I overlooked and continued especially considering my age. If I wasn't in my mid 30's and if I hadn't done fibroid operation and so, eager to take in, I won't have made this terrible mistake. We also work in the same place so everything seemed perfect.

Now we started making wedding plans just after one month of dating and we got married 4months after because of church process. It seemed blissful but I stumbled on his messages with a lady he was saying before me and eventually at the same time with me. I discovered he kept begging n begging her even while me n him were dating .he kept telling her to agree to attend his church or dey can be going to their separate churches but the girl kept insisting that they should attend the same church. I. e. he should leave his church and she will leave hers. Don't get me wrong, if this had happened before we started dating, I wouldn't have gotten angry. but all these happened while we were serious and even after he came to see my father, I discovered he was still pleading with her as per church matter. Who does that?? So what if she had agreed for the church matter, he would have dumped me n embarrassed my dad??

I brought it to his notice and he kept saying he never meant it, he was just using it as an excuse not to marry her.

Now in the marriage, emotional abuse never ends. Just fewonths into the marriage, he started behaving somehow bcoz I hadn't taken in. all kinds of insults oh. one day, he said if he knew I couldn't have children he won't have married me. this was just 4months into d marriage. any little thing he complains. on weekends, he expects me to get up by 7am m start preparing his breakfast oh. weekend which is supposed to b for resting since we work Monday to Friday. Every little thing, he keeps saying if he knew he won't have married me.
I still remember how he slapped me several times, he insulted me n i insulted him back, that was what caused d slap. even when he saw me crying he wasn't moved. I have complained to family members and friends ,they have spoken to him, he will change for a while and later go back to his terrible ways.
I have never seen this kind of acrimony between couple. I am not a bad looking person, I have dated people in d past, they didn't treat me half as badly as this one. I was just too unserious. I want to leave this torture. but we work in the same place and I am trying to avoid wagging tongues. I just tired. I have seen and experienced mutual love and it's not like this. I long to share love with someone that loves me just the way I am. I don't deserve to be with this animal. When it comes to food, he eats so angry if his food isn't ready on time.

Please I need advice. he went for test n it was discovered he has low sperm count. that made him humble for some fine but recently he started saying again that if he had married a younger lady, d lady would have been pregnant by now. just imagine this kind of torture. God knows I have absorbed so much from this man

Young lady pls marriage is not for better for worst ,it enjoyment 4ever .
if ur husband don't love u anymore by ma treating u.then leave for now and have ur rest, if he later come back to u by begging ,then u have to bring those ur issue on table .u have only one life to live no duplicate .
good luck

Op have deactivated her account but i believe she will be reading with her real account so i will still say what i want to say.

Madam the only issue i have with your write up is the slap. He shouldn't be hitting you no matter what. Slaps will progress to pummeling and then to

Every other thing can be worked on and amendments can be made.
You guys are practically still dating (i know 4 months marriage and all) so you should be knowing and studying each other.

Sis, if your husband wants to eat early, give him his food and then go back to sleep.

You married in your 30s so you should have plenty sense and experience fron previous relationships.

Whatever happen in your past is by gone so I won't blame you for that, but you can still fix the present.
I'd advise you not to get pregnant for him yet self cos that will tie you down if he eventually refuse to change.
Discuss with him cos your marriage is still young, so don't rush into divorce, report him to his family, Infact the two family need to discuss since he has started hitting you.
Let that pastor that join you too together also know of the evil he paired you with.
And should you eventually notice he did not change after all these, please flee without looking back, don't thing about what people will say. It your life and you deserve to be happy

I have told people severally that God does not give wives to men. The first time he tried it in the Garden of Eden, Adam blamed God for giving him Eve.

Genesis 3:11-12
…11“Who told you that you were naked?” asked the LORD God. “Have you eaten of the tree from which I commanded you not to eat?”
12And the man answered, “The woman whom You gave me, she gave me fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”

Then God regretted this and vowed never to chose wives for men and He says:

Proverbs 18:22 (NKJV)

22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
And obtains favor from the Lord.

What God does is that He had already created in u the things u like and don't like. He has already given u wisdom to make choice as it pleases u. He has made it known to u the dangers in marrying certain kind of people. It's left for u to apply all these factors and make ur choice. Even ur most revered pastor lacks the powers to make this choice irrespective of his so called prayers. U can't marry based on only prayer. I believe when you pray to God for a wife, God's response may be, My child, do u love this person and feel u can live with him/her. Go ahead if he is ur choice.

Now my question to both of you (Brother and Sister) is:
Is your Pastor greater than God. Did he see better than God?

Johnny1013:
Try and have a heart to heart talk with him and if he persists with his childishness ............... DIVORCE HIM.
I always advice people to walk away from abusive marriages

I wanna ask for something from you bro, mind if we chat?

Plz my lady I have noticed that most of people advising you here are not yet married. I did almost these whole things to my woman because we only dated for just two months before we married. In one occasion I even hitted her that she was hospitalised. We were separated then that her parent took her for deliverance bcs they were shocked that their daughter could even raise hand on me first and about her 3 miscarrages. My dear, it was during those our separate times that I learnt that I have build love for her just that i was so desperate to have my own children since I have been a friend of other people's children and that we are only two left out of five we were born, I am not a wicked man even till now just that I overshadowed my reasonings with desperation to have my children since I have lost many. Today we are back n she's now pregnant for me which might be twins. Her parent now begs me for her to just pay them visit which she she often objects other than before she always run back home at any little quarrel. Just help your man and get pregnant and you will still see the angels in him. The lesson was that we both have problems.

Daboomb:



Kai, so @Elesta don deactivate her account sharp sharp!
Badt woman!
Abeg, come back and tell us you have "freed' the unfortunate man from your bondage.
God answers one's prayer in miraculous ways......his Mother's prayer (from the grave) on him is finally bening answered.

Who takes such a lazy @ss serious?
People like
baby124,
missR8,
tonybarcanista
daddytime welcomed her to a world of undiluted truth.

I wish her success, hope things work out for them!!

OkpaNsukkaisBae:





Who takes such a lazy @ss serious?
People like
baby124,
missR8,
tonybarcanista
daddytime welcomed her to a world of undiluted truth.

I wish her success, hope things work out for them!!

Na people wet never see life dem fit use lies and emotional blackmail work on into bandwagonism no be akpuruka like me.
I don see 99...e remain 1 %.

Poor man...the man don see where online and offline...

Darling human nature creates individuals with different personality types. All women are not social birds with the confidence to put themselves in ‘marriageable places’, some are more reserved naturally and they can’t help that. This hundreds of suitors things is such a stupid exaggeration, if that was the case I’m sure every woman would be married by 25 if they had hundreds of men to pick from. You’re not a woman, so you do not understand the basic lifestyle that a woman goes through. Also putting into consideration that some women are not attractive as others, some are bigger than others, some have more issues than others, some stay at home more than others, they’re so many factors that come into play when trying to date and find a partner. Try to stop being so myopic and use your head please.

Timbuktuo:


The average young woman gets hundreds of suitors yearly. If you desire marriage, you have to put yourself in environments where marriageable men frequent. You can't lock yourself up in your youth and then come out of your shell in your 30s it doesn't make sense.

There is such a thing as mating strategy. Both genders would be wise to learn these strategies. One problem women today face is taking their youth for granted. It's usually a rude awakening when they wake up in their older years to realise partnering is very much about timing.

If I wasn't in my mid 30's and if I hadn't done fibroid operation and so, eager to take in, I won't have made this terrible mistake. We also work in the same place so everything seemed perfect.

U are part of the problem. Infact u are the problem.

U did not marry cos u love him. U married cos u want to run away from Menopause. Even if u enter menopause the next day after marriage, at least u have laid ur problem onto a man's head.
U also married cos u wanted to test ur fertility after the fibroid surgery. Also, in ur mind, it was like weda i takes in or not, at least I have answered a married woman.
U also married cos the two pastors of the two branches want to take glory on you guy's heads that they were able to match two members that were already losing faith in getting married. They performed miracle and u guy were blessed with Holy Matrimony.

This is wickedness. That was the root of ur problem in that house that is not a home.

LordKO:
@OP

If not that you don't seem ready to hear the truth or make the marriage work, I'd have given you a feasible solution. Both of you are wrong.

Still share your thoughts.

Someone else could pick up and learn

frozen70:


I have read your messages and I have few advice for you

I am not blaming you for what happened but I am blaming the society that doesn't want women to be unmarried

They believe every woman should be married whether you like it or not

Now for you to remain in that marriage and be happy is doubtful

Relax yourself and plan on how to live your normal life with out that man

Behave as if nothing happens, just keep looking at his attitudes and save money for the next move

When I say save money, I mean start planning by reducing cost and save money

That rainny day is coming and when it comes, you would have been prepared for it

Don't be in a hurry to have children or in a hurry to get married because of age, good health and happiness should be your priority.

All those things that you are desperate off can only come from God and with God's approval

It's better you are leaving alone and have peace of mind than leaving with a beast that have no feelings or regards for you

Am sorry to say that your husband is a low life man

He doesn't value anyone and wants the best attention and affection even when he had nothing to offer

When you are fed up of staying with him, pls move out peacefully

Forget about what people will say, if you keep listening to what people will say, you will never ever do anything right for yourself

There is a guy out there that will love you to a fault

@Bold:

True.

It is however possible that she has used them to do boyfriend in the past.

HitSong:

You're sick and needs help too just like the hope.
Madam judge.
This is one the reasons you people keep having problems in your marriage.
Pride
Disrespect
Sharp mouth
Selfishness
And
Carelessness
May God save us from all these miserable women...

Nzuzu!

MissR69:
any wise person can see that you are the major cause of whatever bad thing that has happened in your marriage through your post and replies, but many are not going to tell you this because of one reason or another. if you marry another man without changing somethings about you you will have this same experience again. i wish you well in your decision all the same

Thank you for this. Op please read this over and over.

Daboomb:





I think it is the latter.

Hmmmmmmmm

churchee:

Your moniker should be "devil" not desvi.

I am the all encompassing Goddess and Memphistophela all in one female form.

freecocoa:
I’m ashamed on your behalf, talking about how they begged you, they begged you and you are in your mid 30s o, that doesn’t tell you, you are supposed to be more sensible than ‘they begged me’? I swear I taya for you. So what do you want us to tell you now? Don’t you know you can divorce him? Abeg my friend don’t come and annoy somebody here o.

Newbreed2018:
Without knowing who this Bum is while replying... I make bold to say I know this woman in REAL LIFE.

An Adventist.
Very Aggressive
Bitter
Acrimonous
Vile
Jealous
Wicked
Proud


I knew from onset marriage to this woman wouldn't last.

I see she deactivated. My fellow Adventist.

Lexusgs430:


Her spirit is no longer in that union...... Just her body is stuck in the situation........

Hmmmmmmmmm

Newbreed2018:
I see she deactivated. My fellow Adventist.

.

Are you OP's husband How did you know about her

LordKO:
@OP

If not that you don't seem ready to hear the truth or make the marriage work, I'd have given you a feasible solution. Both of you are wrong.

Seriously lord ?

TSRC:

And another one.
Please can you highlight what is wrong with "the way I speak"?
Did I spoke too harshly or use any wrong word?
Or do you have the same character flaw?

be careful so u don't choke in ur arrogance. Anu

TSRC:
As a youth leader I was speaking to a lady in church on Sunday asking about her general well being.

She couldn't even make proper eye contact, and was busy behaving like the queen of England because of beauty and youth.

I just dey look am.

Uncle youth leader, do you know if she has a problem with her eyes, issues in her relationship or something bothering her mind? If you're a good leader why didn't to call her privately and ask her if she's okay and probably ensure she's fine? All these overly spiritual guys sef that are workers in church, moderately religious men are better than you all. Let LOVE lead!!!

Newbreed2018:
I see she deactivated. My fellow Adventist.

Seems you know more than she is painting up here

TSRC:

Entitlement? Is that a new word you learnt?
What exactly was I entitled about?

*it seems this night is not going to be boring after all. I have a clown on my tail *

Uncle youth leader is even ready for a fight ooo SMH. I pity those who thinks all these overly religious people are better than them in God's sight. God is LOVE, let LOVE lead!!!

Newbreed2018:
Without knowing who this Bum is while replying... I make bold to say I know this woman in REAL LIFE.

An Adventist.
Very Aggressive
Bitter
Acrimonous
Vile
Jealous
Wicked
Proud


I knew from onset marriage to this woman wouldn't last.

Lol

Safitu:
Darling human nature creates individuals with different personality types. All women are not social birds with the confidence to put themselves in ‘marriageable places’, some are more reserved naturally and they can’t help that. This hundreds of suitors things is such a stupid exaggeration, if that was the case I’m sure every woman would be married by 25 if they had hundreds of men to pick from. You’re not a woman, so you do not understand the basic lifestyle that a woman goes through. Also putting into consideration that some women are not attractive as others, some are bigger than others, some have more issues than others, some stay at home more than others, they’re so many factors that come into play when trying to date and find a partner. Try to stop being so myopic and use your head please.

One good reason most girls aren't considered marriageable these days is they are quick to insult, much like yourself.

Most of you ladies lack grace and class. Add these personal failings to the ones you listed above and the reason for being unmarried at 30+ isn't surprising.