I'm so loving this story

CHAPTER 20
RICHARD


SPENDING AN EVENING WITH TWO nervous, tense females proved to be interesting.


Jenna was unnaturally still, which was disconcerting itself, but Katharine was the bigger surprise. I had gotten used to her quiet nature, but tonight, she rambled.


Incessantly.


Between showing Jenna her plans for the living area, “our room,” asking endless questions about the history of yoga, the general inquiries about every member of the Gavin family and office, as well as any other subject that seemed to filter through her brain, she talked non-stop. Also, she never sat down. She flitted around the room, using her hands to demonstrate her ideas. She picked, moved, tidied, and straightened every object in the room at least twice. She kept patting Jenna’s shoulder, making sure she was okay, and the cold compress she kept on my neck was switched out every twenty minutes. I didn’t think it ever reached room temperature. I had to admit, when she stood behind me, chatting, I didn’t mind the way her fingers felt as she massaged my neck, or the way she tilted my head back to the softness of her stomach and ran her fingers through my hair repeatedly. The soothing action felt good, and my headache began to dissipate, despite the constant chatter.


Still, her behavior was perplexing. Even Jenna quirked her eyebrow at me more than once. I shrugged one shoulder, offering the only thing I felt made sense when Katharine was out of earshot.


“She doesn’t like storms, either.” My explanation seemed to satisfy her curiosity.


Around ten, the storm lessened, the thunder tapering to a low occasional growl, although the rain continued to beat on the glass around us.


Jenna stood. “I’m going to go stick in my ear buds, turn up the music, and put on a night mask. Maybe I can fall asleep before the next wave hits.”


Katharine stood, as well. “Are you sure you’ll be okay? I can sleep on the chaise and be close.”


Jenna shook her head and kissed her on the cheek. “I’ll be okay. Knowing you’re across the hall will help. I just can’t be alone. Usually Mom and Dad are around if Adrian is away. Adam and Julia are so busy with the kids, I hate bothering them. You guys were a lifesaver tonight.” She bent down and kissed my cheek. “Thanks, Richard. I know you see enough of me in the office. I really appreciate it.”


“Not a problem.”


“If you need me, come and get me,” Katharine offered.


“I’ll try not to.”


She walked up the steps, leaving Katharine and me. I studied her body language. Tense was an understatement. If she held herself any tighter, she’d be the one with the headache soon.


“Hey.”


She startled and looked at me, her eyes wide.


“What’s wrong?”


“Nothing. Why would you ask?”


I snickered. “You’ve been like a cat on a hot tin roof all night.”


She bustled around, tidying up her already neat files, straightening the newspaper I’d been trying to read, and picking up the glasses to take to the kitchen.


“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Are you hungry?”


“No.”


“I can make you a sandwich.”


“No.”


“Do you want coffee? I bought some decaf. Or, maybe some toast or something? You didn’t eat much dinner.”


“Katharine,” I warned, my voice becoming impatient.


She set down the glasses she was holding. “I’m going to bed.”


She bolted up the stairs, leaving me more confused than ever.

I followed not long after, leaving a couple lights on in case Jenna needed to prowl around the condo. The last thing I needed was to have to call Adrian and tell him his wife fell down the stairs in the night, and I had to take her to the hospital. Graham and Laura wouldn’t be overly impressed, either.


The rain was picking up again, the storm gathering strength outside. I wondered if any of us would get much sleep on this strange night.


Upstairs, I shut my door behind me, the sight of the small lump in my bed reminding me I wouldn’t be alone tonight. Katharine was huddled under the duvet as close to the edge of her side of the bed as she could get without falling off. Suddenly, her strange behavior made sense. We were sharing a bed tonight, and she was nervous. An odd feeling—one of tenderness—swept through me.


It struck me as I watched her tonight what a gentle soul she must have. She lost her parents, survived what I knew must have been a rough time after they passed, although she hadn’t given me a great deal of information. She never discussed her time living on the street, which must have been horrific. She put up with me, cared for Penny, and thought nothing of helping a friend, even if she had to shift her entire life to do so—and she did it all with one of her warm smiles. She was amazing.


I found a pair of sleep pants and a T-shirt. I preferred sleeping only in boxers, but I didn’t want Katharine any more uncomfortable than she clearly was already. After getting ready, I slipped in beside her, waiting for her to say something. There was only silence.


Rising up on my elbow, I peeked over her shoulder, drawing the heavy veil of hair away from her face. She didn’t speak or move, staying still, and her eyes remained firmly shut. Her chest moved far too rapidly for her to be asleep, though. I bent low over her, close to her ear.


“Faker,” I whispered.


She shivered, burrowing her face farther into the pillow. I dropped a kiss on her bare shoulder, and pulled up the duvet. “Relax, Katharine. I’ll be a perfect gentleman.”


I shifted over, shut off the light and lay there, listening to her short, nervous breaths. It should have felt strange having her in my bed, and yet, it wasn’t unpleasant. I could feel her warmth, and smell her light perfume.


The bed felt wrong, though, somehow. It took me a few moments to realize why. There was a constant vibration—just enough to make the mattress quiver. I looked over at her, studying her small huddled mass. She was shaking.


Was she that afraid of me?


I rolled to my side, reaching out and wrapping my arm around her, drawing her back to my body. She let out a shocked squeak, her body rigid. Tremors ran through her constantly, and her hands clutching my arm were like ice.


“Katharine, stop this,” I murmured. “I’m not going to do anything.”


“It’s not that. Well, not just that.”


“Is it the storm?”


“It’s . . . it’s the wind,” she confessed. “I hate the howling sound of it.”


I tucked her closer, and another shiver raced through her whole body. “Why?”


“The night my parents died, there was a storm. It was like this one. Loud. The wind pushed the car around as if it was a feather. My dad lost control and the car flipped.”


My heart began to beat faster. “You were with your parents that night?”


“I was in the back seat. When it happened, the windows exploded and the wind was so loud, and I was scared. I kept losing consciousness, but I was so cold, and I could hear the wind howling . . . it never stopped.” Her voice dropped. “I knew they were dead, and I was alone and trapped.”


My throat felt tight at the pain in her voice. She had never told me any of that until now.


“Were you hurt?”


Silently, she took my hand and pressed it to the top of her leg. Under the thin material of her nightgown, I could feel a long, twisted scar running down the outside of her thigh. “I had a concussion and my leg was crushed when the car flipped. It took two operations, but I survived.” She cleared her throat. “That’s why I sometimes trip or lose my balance. It buckles.”


All the times I mocked her, rolled my eyes, and watched her struggle to her feet, filled my mind. Shame, hot and blistering, made me tighten my arms, and I dropped my face into her neck. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.” “It’s not your fault.” “No. I am sorry for what you went through, but that’s not what I’m talking about.”


“Oh,” she breathed, knowing the reason for my apology. “Well, you didn’t know.”


“I never bothered to ask, though, did I?”


“I guess not.”


The next words out of my mouth shocked me. “Forgive me for that.”


“I did.”


I rolled her onto her back, hovering over her, staring down into her face in the darkness. The lightning flashes lit up her pale face, and the tears stood out in her eyes. “Forgive me for all of it, Katharine.”


“I have.”


“How?” I whispered. “How can you be this forgiving? How can you even stand to be around me?”


“Because you’re trying.”


“It’s that easy for you? A little effort on my part and you forgive?”


“I had to forgive you to do this with you.”


“In order to make sure Penny was looked after.”


Hesitantly, she lifted her hand, cupping my cheek, her fingers stroking my skin. “That was one reason.”


“What was the other?”


“I saw something—the day you told me about meeting with Graham. I saw a different side of you. I thought . . .”


“Thought what?” I asked when her voice trailed off.


“I thought if I could help you get away from the poisonous atmosphere of Anderson, maybe you could find the real Richard.”


“The real Richard?”


“I think . . . I think you’re more than you let people see. More than you let yourself see. I see more and more of the real you coming out.”


I leaned into her touch, letting her words soak in. Idly, I twisted a lock of her hair in my fingers, brushing the silkiness of it between my fingers.


“What is the real me like?” I asked, my voice low, almost pleading. I wanted to know her feelings—what she thought of me.


“Strong, caring. Capable. Talented.” She paused and sighed. “Kind.”


“You see things that aren’t there.”


“No, they are. You aren’t ready to see them yet. You will,” she assured me.


I stared at her in wonder. Gentle didn’t describe her soul. Not even close. I wasn’t sure I knew a word that did. Angelic, maybe? Whatever it was, whatever she was, I didn’t deserve her forgiveness, the high opinion she had of me—and I certainly didn’t deserve her.

A huge gust of wind shook the glass in the long windows, the rain furious in its rage as it beat against the panes. Katharine tensed up, her gaze flying toward the sound.


I bent low and kissed her. It was tender, nothing but a brush of our lips; hers trembling and soft pressed to my humble, unworthy mouth. I kissed her with the gentleness I should have always used when speaking to her.


I moved, tucking her back to my chest.


“Sleep, sweetheart. You’re safe. Nothing will hurt you, I promise.”


“I’ve never slept with someone like this, Richard.”


I dropped another kiss to her neck, wanting her to understand, to know something about me that made me worthy of her faith. “Neither have I, Katharine. You are the first woman I’ve ever had in this bed.” “Oh, ah . . .”


I smiled into her skin. “I’ve never let anyone stay here. This is my safe place. Only mine.” I tightened my embrace. “Now, let it be yours. Sleep. I’ve got you.”


Closing my eyes, I relaxed into her warmth. Our bodies melded from chest to hips, our flesh seeking and finding something from the other.


Comfort. Whispers. I could hear whispers as I woke, drowsy and warm—almost too warm. I was surrounded by heat and something that smelled enticingly good. My pillow tickled my face and I twitched my nose, trying to ease the itch, burrowing deeper into the welcome softness. My pillow giggled a little, and the whispers started again. I forced open my eyes. The light was dull, the skies still heavy and rain-soaked outside. I lifted my head and met the amused gaze of Jenna, who was sitting on the floor beside the bed, coffee cup in hand.


“Morning,” she said with a smirk.


“Is the storm that bad you had to hide in here?”


“I came to get Katharine, but she couldn’t escape your clutches, so we were having coffee right here,” she teased.


I looked down, realizing she was right. I was wrapped around Katharine as tight as possible. Every inch of me touched her body. I had one hand fisted in her hair, and the other held her to me like an iron bar. My legs intertwined with hers and my cock—my fully erect, desperate-for-release cock—was pressed into her ass. Her firm, accommodating ass, which felt like heaven nestled into my aching erection. I buried my face back into Katharine’s neck, marveling at how natural it felt to wake with her this way.


“Go away, Jenna,” I mumbled.


Katharine pushed against my arm. “Let me go.”


I kissed her neck, liking the shiver that happened this morning. Unlike the fearful tremors last night, this was one of pleasure. It rippled down her spine, her torso flexing, her ass snuggling tighter to my cock.


“Five minutes, Jenna. Give me five minutes,” I added in a throaty voice.


It was only going to take two.


She stood up, laughing. “Men,” she snorted. “I’ll meet you downstairs.”


As soon as the door shut, I flipped Katharine, crashing my mouth to hers. I kissed her hard, needing to feel her lips beneath mine. I stroked her tongue, tracing the contours of her mouth, teasing, yet desperate. I pulled back, gasping. “You are killing me.”


“I was sleeping,” she protested. “Sleeping.”


“You feel too good.” I thrust against her hip. “Jesus, Katharine.”


Her eyes widened; the glimmer of fear piercing the lust in which I was drowning.


What the hell was I doing?


I flung myself off her, my chest heaving. I threw my arm over my face.


“Go downstairs. I need a shower. A long, cold one.”


“I’m sorry.”


“It’s fine,” I groaned, grabbing her arm. “Wait. Don’t go yet. Just . . . just stay there for a moment or two. I don’t want Jenna to think I am, ah, lacking stamina.”


Her mouth opened, but no sound came out.


Lifting my arm, I flexed my fingers as I glared at her. “I swear I’m getting carpal tunnel syndrome. I’m going to need surgery.”


Katharine began to chuckle. Her shoulders vibrated as she buried her face in the pillow, her chuckles turning into full out peals of laughter. The bed shook with the force of her amusement.


The corners of my mouth twitched. “It’s not a laughing matter.”


She didn’t stop, and I started laughing with her. Purposely, I hauled myself over the top of her, letting my heavy, hard cock drag across her body. I lifted her face from the pillow; her cheeks flushed and pink, her eyes bright with fun. I kissed her again.


“We need to talk about expanding our boundaries. Before I explode.”


I left her lying there, speechless.


But, she was still smiling.


And, she didn’t say no.

CHAPTER 21
RICHARD


JENNA RECEIVED A CALL FROM Adrian while we were having breakfast, telling her he wouldn’t be home until Sunday. With the storm still all around us, we assured her she was welcome to stay until he came to pick her up the next day. There was no other option. Besides, she made Katharine laugh, and I liked hearing the sound. I wanted to make it happen more often.


The three of us went to see Penny while the storm simmered, low and tame. I insisted on cheeseburgers, letting it slip how often I snuck them in for her. Katharine was shocked to realize the number of times I’d been to the home without saying a word. Her eyes shone with appreciation when she stretched up and kissed me, catching me off guard. I yanked her close and took full advantage of the fact we had a captive audience with Jenna, kissing her until she was pink-cheeked and embarrassed. Jenna caught my eye with a wink as I accepted the heavy bag of burgers with a wide grin.


Penny was quiet but lucid when we arrived. She laughed at my offering of grapes for Joey. He liked to pick at them, and I didn’t have to cut up anything or bribe Tami to do it for me. The chocolate shop I frequented certainly had a boom in sales the past few weeks, and the staff looked forward to what I brought each visit. I never disappointed them.


Jenna was more like her usual self, bubbly and chatty, entertaining Penny with stories of her family. It gave me the chance to sit back and watch Katharine with Penny. She sat next to her, holding her hand. She would cup her cheek, run her hand over Penny’s forehead, smoothing away the flyaway hairs as she talked or laughed. She teased and encouraged Penny to eat, tucking a napkin under her chin as she scolded her for being messy. Penny tweaked her nose back. “You stop being so bossy, my Katy.”


“She is bossy,” I muttered. “She tells me what to do all the time.”


“Payback,” Katharine mused.


“That’s what wives are for!” Jenna laughed.


Both Katharine and I froze. We had never mentioned being married to Penny. Our gazes met over her head, unsure what to do next.


Penny sat up, her lunch forgotten. She looked between us. “You’re married?” She turned to Katharine. “You got married, and you didn’t tell me? Katy, are you pregnant?”


Katharine shook her head. “No, Penny. I’m not pregnant.”


“But you’re married.” “Yes.”


Penny looked at me, pushing away her lunch tray. “I’d like to speak to my daughter in private.” I paced the hall, my eyes on the closed door. With a groan, I slumped against the wall, letting my head fall back on the hard surface.


“Richard, I’m sorry,” Jenna pleaded. “I had no idea she didn’t know. It never occurred to me she wouldn’t have been told.”


“Of course it wouldn’t.”


“She didn’t know? She hadn’t simply forgotten?”


I wanted to lie and tell her we had told Penny. That the disease was at fault, not us. Except, I was getting tired of the lies. I pushed away from the wall, rubbing the back of my neck.


“Katharine had a rough time in her teens. There is more to her story than you know, but it’s her story to tell. Penny is the world to her, and she was trying to protect her wellbeing.”


She nodded, waiting for me to continue.


“I was the instigator, Jenna. I pursued her. I was way ahead of her this whole relationship. She didn’t want me to meet Penny at first, until she was sure.” I tugged on my cowlick roughly. “I forced the issue and came to see Penny without her knowing. I wanted to know more about the woman who helped Katharine. I pushed everything forward. I married her quickly—before she could change her mind. Katharine was worried Penny would think it was too fast, so we decided to stay quiet for a while and let Penny get used to me.”


“And I blew it.” I shrugged. “We should have bitten the bullet and told her ourselves. This is on us.”


The door opened, and Katharine stepped out. “Richard, can you come in?”


“Shit,” I cursed under my breath. “If I don’t make it out in one piece, look after Katharine for me.”


Jenna gave me a sympathetic smile and patted my shoulder.


At the door, Katharine laid her hand on my arm. “I’m sorry.”


I squeezed her fingers. “It’s fine.”


I stepped in, Katharine close behind me.


I had faced angry clients in boardrooms. Stood in front of conference rooms filled with unfriendly faces waiting for me to fail in my presentation. I had done it all without breaking a sweat. Yet, standing in front of the stern-looking old woman, I was sweating, and gripping my wife’s hand like a talisman. Penny fixed me a look. “You married my Katy.”


“Yes.”


“Without my permission.”


“Yes.”


“Why?”


“I’ve never done this before. I didn’t know I had to ask—”


She waved her hand. “Oh, you really aren’t that swift at times, are you, young man?”


I swallowed. “Sorry?”


“Why did you marry her?”


“I couldn’t be without her.”


“And you didn’t say anything because?”


I had no idea what Katharine had said, but I sensed I needed to stick close to the truth.


I crouched down, meeting Penny’s eyes. “I married her fast because I didn’t want to lose her. I need her in my life. We were worried you wouldn’t approve, but I hoped once you got to know me, you might be okay with the thought of her marrying me.”


“She’s too good for you.”


I laughed because it was the truth. “I’m well aware of that.”


“You should have asked me first.”


“You’re right, I should have. I apologize.”


“She says she’s happy.”


“I am, too.” I glanced over at Katharine, surprised at the fact it was the truth. “She constantly amazes me.”


Penny sniffed. “Just wait. You haven’t seen anything yet.”


“I can only imagine.”


She pursed her lips. “I’m watching you.”


“Duly noted.”


“Fine. Now you owe me cake.” “Cake?”


Katharine stepped forward, laying a hand on my shoulder. I noticed her rings were now in place, the sight of them making me smile for some reason. I hadn’t taken mine off, and Penny had never questioned it. Without thinking, I pressed a kiss to her hand, the action making Penny beam.


“We always celebrated good things with cake.”


“So, it’s a good thing? I’m a good thing?”


Penny patted my cheek. “I’m depending on you to take care of her for me.”


“I will.”


“Now, that cake?”


There was a bakery down the street.


“I’m on it.”


“Chocolate,” Penny insisted.


I brushed her downy cheek. “As if there was any other kind.”

Katharine came in, carrying a cup of coffee that I gratefully accepted. I indicated she should sit down.


“Where’s Jenna?”


“Having a nap. I think she’s taking advantage of the lull in the storm. I don’t think she slept well last night.”


“I slept like a baby.”


She rolled her eyes. “A clingy baby.”


I grinned. “Not my fault you’re so perfect to snuggle up to. You smell good.”


“Your, ah, wheezing, is much louder up close.”


I narrowed my eyes. “Cute.”


She smirked. “Sorry.” Her expression turned serious. “I am sorry about this morning.” I scratched the back of my neck. “I guess it was bound to happen.”


“There’s a good chance she’ll forget. We may have the conversation again.”


“At least we can say we did tell her, and maybe she won’t be so upset.”


“I suppose.”


I took a sip of coffee. “What did she say to you?”


“She was worried I was pregnant.”


“That’s not an issue. Never will be.” I couldn’t resist teasing her on the subject. “Even if we expand our boundaries.”


“Are you not able to father children?”


“I have no idea. I’ve never attempted to procreate, and I never plan to. I am always protected, and I make sure my partners are, too.”


She tilted her head, confused. “You don’t want children?”


“Katharine, I don’t have the capacity to actually be in a real relationship. I have no interest in being a father and bringing another emotionally stunted person into this world. I would never be able to connect with a child, which is why I have no desire for children. Ever.”


“I think you’re wrong.”


“Wrong?”


“I think you have the capacity. I think you could connect—love—a child. If you loved their mother.”


I barked a laugh. “Since that’s never going to happen, I stick to my original statement.”


“Why are you so certain you can’t fall in love?”


I was getting impatient. “I told you. Love makes you weak. It makes you need people. Depend on them. I won’t allow that to happen.”


“Sometimes things happen that are beyond our control.”


I waved my hand. “Not in this case. There is no love or children in my future.”


“That sounds lonely.”


“I have my work, and it fulfills me. It’s sufficient.”


She studied me, a frown on her face. “Is it?”


“Stop trying to analyze me, Katharine.”


“I’m not. I’m trying to understand you.”


“Don’t.”


“Why?”


I leaned forward, my hands fisted on the desk. “I don’t pay you to understand me. I’m paying you to act out a role.”


“One that gets more complex every day.”


“What are you talking about?”


“Don’t you get tired of it, Richard? The lies? We seem to add more all the time. It’s like a snowball that grows as it rolls down a snowy hill.” She sighed. “It was supposed to be a simple thing—me pretending to be your fiancée. Now it has grown and escalated to the point I don’t even recognize myself! I hate lying to people—and I’m lying to everyone! Penny, the Gavin family, people at the care home . . . It’s one huge mountain of lies!”


“It’s a means to an end. No one is getting hurt.”


“Really? I think you’re wrong.”


“How do you figure that?” I waved my hand around the room. “Graham isn’t suffering, Penny is being looked after, you’re living in a better place, and you don’t have to work. Who is getting hurt?”


Her voice dropped to a whisper. “I feel guilty—more so every day.”


“Why?”


“I like these people. I really like Jenna; we’ve become friends. Knowing I’m lying to her bothers me. Graham and Laura have

Cont.
been nothing but kind. It’s as if I’m betraying them with this farce. The people at the home think we’re married.”


“We are,” I insisted. “It’s not a farce. Our marriage is legal.”


“They think it’s real. They think we’re in love. And Penny . . . I never wanted Penny to know. I didn’t want to have to lie to her of all people. I hate lying to her the most.”


“You know she’ll probably forget.”


Katharine rolled her eyes. “It’s still a lie. Tami and others will keep reminding her, so she may not forget. And there’s Adrian, Adam, Julia . . .” She huffed in exasperation. “The list grows.”


Drumming my fingers on the desk, I shrugged. “It’s bigger than I expected, I’ll give you that much. Even Brian thinks I had a change of heart. When we played golf the other day, he congratulated me on finally finding my ‘human side.’”


“It doesn’t bother you? How many people this lie touches? How many people it will affect when it’s done?”


“Katharine, stop being overdramatic. Marriages break up all the time. The world will go on. We’ll figure out the hows and whys when we decide the time is right.”


“And, in the meantime, we keep lying.”


I was done with this inane conversation. I rubbed my head and scowled. “Yes. We keep lying. I’m still paying you, and it’s still a job. Until further notice, you are my wife. Keep acting the part. Pretend you like me. Dig deep, and imagine you love me. Do whatever you need to do to keep up the ‘farce,’ as you call it.”


She rose to her feet, shaking her head. “That’s the rub here, Richard. I don’t always have to pretend to like you. When you stop acting like such an asshole, you’re a decent man. You respond to people. You’re kind and generous to Penny. For some reason, you forget to be that asshole you show the rest of the world when you’re around her. Sometimes, you forget even when you’re around me.” Her expression was sad and her voice dejected. “Sometimes, I forget you dislike me and I think we’re actually friends.”


She strode to the door, paused, and looked back. “I like those times. They make the rest of the days easier to take.”


Then she walked out, leaving me stunned.

Thanks for the update

thanks for the update.

Started a new story, check it out Sterling shores please. You would enjoy it and thank me later.

Ak86:
Started a new story, check it out Sterling shores please. You would enjoy it and thank me later.

Where’s the link to the story

CHAPTER 22
RICHARD


KATHARINE WAS QUIET THE REST of the evening. The rain came and went, eventually easing off around midnight. Jenna sensed the turmoil in the air and tried to be discreet. At one point, she asked me if Katharine was all right.


“We, ah, had a disagreement,” I admitted. Couples argued; my response—it seemed probable.


“Because of what happened earlier?”


“Yes.” I didn’t tell her to which earlier occurrence it pertained. I let her think it was what happened with Penny.


“Do you want me to leave?”


“No, it’s fine.”


“Don’t go to bed angry. Talk it out,” she encouraged. “I’ll head up soon and give you some privacy.”


Unsure how else to respond, I nodded. I had no idea what to say to Katharine, but as soon as Jenna went upstairs, she followed. I waited a while, shut off the TV, and joined her in my bedroom. She was already in bed, curled up and close to the edge. I got ready and slipped in behind her small, warm body. I hesitated, then reached over, tugging her back to my torso.


“Don’t be angry with me.”


“I’m not, just sad.” She sighed.


“I can’t change who I am.”


She rolled in the dark to face me. “I think in some ways you have changed.”


“Maybe,” I admitted. “Still, it doesn’t change how I feel about certain things—children and love are two of them.”


“Everything is black and white with you.”“It has to be. It’s how I deal with life.”


“You miss so much.”


I trailed my finger down her cheek, touching the softness of her skin in the dark. A trace of dampness lingered, and I knew she’d been crying. It bothered me, thinking of her lying there, upset.


“Katharine,” I began.


“What?” she whispered.


“I know this got bigger and more complex. I know you’re a better person than I am, and it bothers you. I didn’t expect the Gavins to be part of our life outside the office. I hadn’t planned on meeting Penny and being fond of her. There isn’t anything we can do about that now except go with the flow. I can’t change my outlook because it’s what I believe. There is something you’re wrong about, however.”


“What is that?”


I cupped her cheek, bringing her faceclose to mine. “I don’t dislike you. Far from it. I regret every nasty word, every lousy fucking errand I sent you on, and every dirty job I got you to do. I think you’re incredibly brave to have agreed to do this with me, and the reasons you did it are astonishing to me. You are selfless and kind, and the fact you’ve become so important to me is a testament to how special you are.”


Hot tears ran down her face. I groaned, unable to handle more emotion today. “Jeez, woman.” I growled playfully. “I try to be nice and you cry. I give up. I’ll go back to being a jerk.”


She patted my hand. “No, it’s fine. I’ll stop.” She sniffed. “That was unexpected. That’s all.”


“I’m trying to apologize.”


She lifted her face, brushing her mouth to mine. “Accepted.”


I buried my hands in her hair, holding her close. I pressed my mouth to hers,wanting to taste her once more. She responded with a low sigh, her breath drifting over my face. Long moments passed as our lips moved together, tongues touched and teased. Desire built, slow and heavy, and my body hummed with need. With a moan, I drew back, staring down at her. Her lips were swollen, her breathing fast. I traced her bottom lip with my finger.


“Katharine,” I murmured in a husky voice as I ran my hand up her bare leg.


She lifted her head, and just as her mouth met mine, we heard it. A crack of unexpected thunder followed by a crash in the guest room and a loud yell.


I groaned, dropping my head to her shoulder. “Fucking Jenna, again.”


She huffed out a huge exhale of air. “Well, hell. I think she broke my damn lamp. I liked that lamp.”


I began to laugh at her rare colorful statement. I rolled off her, throwing an armover my face. “Go see what your friend has done now.”


She slid out of bed, hesitating. The dim moonlight behind her highlighted her silhouette through her wispy nightgown. She had filled out a little, her body softening with curves. With her hair tumbled over her shoulders, her eyes wide with desire, she looked sexy. Sexy as hell, in fact.


“Go.” I growled. “If you don’t, I won’t be responsible for what happens next.”


Pivoting, she hurried to the door.


“Katharine,” I called.


She turned, her hand resting on the doorknob.


I gentled my voice. “If the lamp is broken, I’ll buy you a new one.”


Her smile was brilliant. “Okay.”


I flopped back on the bed.


What the hell was I doing? That wastwice today I had wanted to Bleep her thoroughly—the woman I once wanted out of my life. Now, she was all around me. In every aspect of my life. In my bed.


The strangest part? I didn’t mind any of it.

“Katharine, syrup is a condiment. Not a food group.”


She looked up from her plate, already shaking her head. “Each hole needs to be filled with syrup, Richard. It’s a rule.”


I snorted as I lifted my mug to my mouth. “You’re drowning the waffle. There’s more syrup than food on your plate.”


“It’s better like this.”


I groaned. “And you add bacon?”She hummed around her mouthful. “Perfect.”


Jenna chuckled as she cut into her breakfast. “Not a syrup fan, Richard?”


“I added a reasonable amount. I want to taste the waffle, too.”


Katharine held out a forkful in my direction. “Try it.”


“No.”


“Please?”


I speared a piece of my far dryer waffle. “Then you try mine.”


We fed each other pieces of breakfast. Hers was dripping in syrup and butter, way sweeter than I was used to. I grimaced. “That is god-awful.”


She grinned. “Better than yours.” Looking down, she cursed. “Darn it, I got syrup on my shirt. Excuse me.”


She hurried out of the kitchen. I waited until she had disappeared and grabbed thebottle of syrup, adding more to my waffle.


Jenna giggled. “The two of you are so sweet. Have you never eaten waffles together?”


I had to think fast. “No, Katharine always made pancakes. I bought her the waffle iron for a wedding gift.”


Jenna gaped at me “You gave her a waffle iron for a wedding gift?”


“She wanted one!”


“Good Lord, Richard, you have a lot to learn about romance.”


“She got me.”


Jenna picked up her coffee mug. “Hmmph. Maybe the waffle iron was the better gift.”


I glared. “When are you going home?”


She smirked. “Adrian will be here soon.”


“Good.”


She pushed on my arm with a playfulwink. “I interrupted your make-up session last night. Sorry. The thunder caught me off guard.”


“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”


“Of course not. Katharine is always that, ah, disheveled.”


I smirked. She had looked rather rumpled when she left the bedroom last night.


I winked at Jenna. “We have the rest of the day to make out. I mean up. Or both.”


She rolled her eyes, muttering about men and one-track minds.


I kept eating my now syrup-laden waffle.





I came out of the den, looking for Katharine. Jenna had left mid-afternoon,and I had gotten busy with some work, then had a call from Graham. I heard noises down the hall and went to investigate. The door to the smallest bedroom was open. I used the room for storage now. At one time, it held a bed, and I used it for my female guests and the after dinner activities, since I didn’t ever take them upstairs. I had gotten rid of the bed when Katharine moved in—all that remained were boxes and files.


I leaned on the doorframe, watching her for a few moments, an indulgent smile tugging on my lips. “What are you doing?”


She indicated a few framed pictures. “You have some nice prints in here.”


“I wasn’t sure where to put those.”


“They’d look great in the front room.” She lifted some photographs from the box she’d been sorting. “These are lovely shots—shame to see them packed away.”


I held out my hand, and she placed the stack of photos in it.I shuffled through the pictures, feeling somewhat embarrassed. “I took these.”


“You did?”


“Yeah. I went through a phase where I tried my hand at photography. It didn’t last long.” I handed them back to her. “I wasn’t any good.”


“I think they’re great.”


“Help yourself.”


“Do you have the negatives?”


I shook my head. “All digital. One of those boxes has my camera and all the SD cards inside.”


“Okay.”


“Listen, Graham called. He wants me to go with him out of town to see a client. I think he’s feeling guilty Adrian went the last two times.”


“When are you going?”


“Tomorrow.”“How long?”


“That’s the thing. I’ll be gone until Thursday, which means I’ll miss Tuesday with Penny.”


She grinned impishly. “Not a problem—I can miss yoga. I’m not that good at it.”


“Tell her I’ll come see her Friday for lunch. I’ll bring her favorite cheeseburgers.”


“She’ll love that.”


“What will you do while I’m gone?”


“Work on the living room.”


“You have painters coming right? No ladders?” She did an amazing job in her room, but the living room was too big a job for her alone. The thought of Katharine on such a tall ladder made me nervous—especially if I was going to be out of town.


“I have professionals coming in, Richard. It’ll be finished in two days. You’ll miss all the fun.”


“What a shame.”She stood up, brushing off her pants. “I’ll help you pack. I need to change the bedding and move my things back.”


The word was out before I could stop it. “Don’t.”


“What?”


“Sleep in my room while I’m gone. Don’t worry about the laundry. You have enough to do.”


She chewed the inside of her cheek. “And tonight?”


“We share again.”


“I . . .”


I took her hand. “It makes sense. Saves you some work.”


A mischievous grin curled her lips. “You’re a snuggler. You like to snuggle with me!”


I scoffed. “I’m simply being practical.”


“Admit it, and I’ll sleep with you.”I arched my eyebrow. “You want to rephrase that?”


“Oh, I—”


There it was—the flush that amused me. It bloomed on her chest and stained her cheeks. She pushed at my arm, teasing. “Admit it, and I’ll sleep in your bed while you’re gone.”


“And tonight?”


The flush deepened.


“Yes.”


I bent down, brushing my mouth across her cheek over to her ear. “I like snuggling with you. You’re all warm and you smell good.”


It was the truth. I had woken up again this morning with my body wrapped around hers. I was rested and relaxed; even if I had to deal with the after effects of her soft figure pressed to mine.


She brushed past me. “Fine. If that’swhat you want.”


I grinned. It was, in fact, exactly what I wanted.

“What are you smiling about?” Graham asked. The trip was going well, and the client had been enthusiastic today. I had spent the afternoon adding to my outlines and ideas in preparation for another meeting in the morning. Graham insisted we go to dinner to celebrate.


I looked up from my phone and handed it to him. “Oh, I sent a massive chocolate caramel cheesecake to Penny to make up for not being there tonight. Katharine sent a picture of them enjoying it.”


He chuckled, and passed it back. “You’re very fond of Penny.”


“She reminds me of someone from mychildhood.”


“A relative?”


I shifted in my chair. “No.”


He regarded me shrewdly over the rim of his glass. “You don’t like to talk about yourself. Specifically your past.”


“No, I don’t.”


“Do you talk to anyone about it?”


“Katharine.”


“Your catalyst. The woman who changed your life—who changed you.”


I tilted my head in acknowledgment, hoping he would take the hint and drop the subject. He was silent for a moment, then reached in and took an envelope from his pocket, sliding it across the table.


“What is this?”


He tapped the heavy cream-colored stationery. “You’ve been outstanding since you came on board, Richard. You’ve surpassed my expectations. All of ourexpectations. Your work on the Kenner Footwear campaign, the way you’ve pitched in and been a key part of the team. Coming on this trip last minute. All of it.”


I shrugged in unusual modesty at his praise; his words warmed me. I wondered if that was how it felt to a boy basking in the glow of his father’s pride—something I had never experienced. Graham was quick to compliment, and rarely criticized—his remarks more often teaching, as opposed to condemning. I had been amazed how fast I had slipped into my role at The Gavin Group. I enjoyed the positive energy and the entire “working with and not against” attitude they shared. His words, however, meant a great deal. My throat felt tight, and I took a sip of water to clear the thickness before speaking. “Thank you. It’s been remarkable for me, as well.”


He pushed the envelope closer. “For you.” Inside was a sizable check—my eyes widened at the generous amount—along with the copy of my contract. What really got my attention, though, was that clause six was crossed out and initialed. I lifted my eyes to his with a questioning look. “I don’t understand.”


He grinned. “The check is your bonus for an exceptional job. Kenner signed a multiple year deal with us all because of your idea. They want you on every campaign.”


I held up the contract. “You crossed off my trial period.”


“I did. I had only put it in place to be sure I was right in my gut instinct you would fit in with us. You have more than proven yourself to be what you stated you were: a changed man. Your Katy has indeed brought forth the real Richard.” He held out his hand. “You have a place with my company for as long as you want it, Richard.I hope we have many years ahead of us.”


Reeling, I shook his hand. I had pulled it off. I had done it.


I should have been gloating, euphoric. All my plans, all the arrangements had led to this moment. I had secured my position with The Gavin Group and screwed over David.


Mission accomplished.


Yet, while I was thrilled, it wasn’t for the reasons I had thought. I found I didn’t care one way or another about David or how he felt. He could walk in, offer me a partnership and more money than I ever dreamed of, and I wouldn’t be tempted to leave. Instead, I only wanted to bask in the approval from Graham. I wanted to make him proud. I wanted to keep working for him and to hear his kind, praise-filled words. Along with those thoughts came an emotion I wasn’t used to having: guilt. Guilt for how this started and why I wassitting here now. Guilt for the deception I had used to get to this moment.


As I stared at the papers, I wondered how much the fact Jenna had stayed with us had to do with his decision. She had certainly seen enough of us acting like a normal married couple to convince anyone we were real. She thought I couldn’t keep my hands off Katharine, we had a great sex life, we argued and made up—everything other couples shared. Maybe the storm had not only brought Katharine and I closer, but also eliminated any doubts that still lingered in Graham’s mind.


Internally, I shook my head. It didn’t matter. What mattered was I would keep working hard and proving myself to Graham and his company. No matter how it began, I would earn it—and keep it.


“Thank you.”


He clapped my shoulder. “I am sure Katy will be happy.”Another odd emotion bubbled in my chest—the anticipation of telling her, sharing this victory with her. I grinned, knowing how positively she would react. “I’d love to tell her, but I think I’ll wait until I get home.” I looked down at my bonus. “I think I need to buy her something to celebrate. I thought that last week she needed a present. This is the perfect excuse.”


He nodded. “That’s a great idea. I know a wonderful jewelry store down the street.”


My eyebrows shot up. Jewelry. I hadn’t thought of that, but it was . . .


“Perfect.”

CHAPTER 23
RICHARD
I SLID MY KEY IN the lock, entering the condo quietly. I was shocked to realize how much I had missed being home. How much I had missed Katharine.


I found myself texting her, checking she was okay, that Penny was well, or she remembered to lock the condo door. Her return texts made me smile, always a little cheeky and sweet. She had adored the cheesecake, telling me how the staff all dove in and helped her and Penny eat it. She found it amusing I had also sent a fruit arrangement for Joey’s snack. When she mentioned Penny seemed more tired than usual, I had phoned the home to check up on her twice, making Tami chuckle at my worry.


I had to laugh at myself. It seemed, even without trying, Katharine’s presence in my life brought forth more emotion all the time.


I should hate it, yet somehow, I didn’t.


I was anxious to get home, see her, visit Penny, and get back to the office. When the client had agreed sooner than expected to our pitch, we had both agreed to head home early and caught the last flight out. The cab dropped me off, Graham laughing at my exuberance as I grabbed my case.


“I don’t expect to see you in the office first thing, Richard. Enjoy the morning with Katy. I’ll see you in the afternoon.”


I nodded. “Thank you.”


I put down my case, flicked on the light, and froze.


I wasn’t in the same room I left days earlier. The bold claret color Katharine had picked out now graced the massive wall around the fireplace and highlighted the wood mantle. The cream of the other wallswas rich and attractive. She had added some cushions, the two chairs she had shown me, and the result of the transformation made it warm and inviting. Homey.


The biggest surprise was the artwork she had hung. She had used some of the prints she found, but on the red wall, she had some of my photographs, printed, double-matted, and framed. I was stunned by how great they looked and amazed she had chosen my favorite ones to use. The entire room looked spectacular.


I ran my hand over the curve of the chairs she’d added. They were strong pieces. The effect was still masculine, yet softened by what she had created. On the mantle was a picture of us, taken by Jenna on our wedding day. I picked it up, studying the candid photograph. Katharine was smiling into the lens, her face almost glowing. My forehead rested on hers, and I was smiling. We both looked happy. Like a couple in love. I ran my finger over her image, unsureof the odd sensation in my chest.


Placing it back on the mantle, I picked up my bag and climbed the stairs. In my doorway, I stopped, surprised to see Katharine asleep in my bed. I was sure she would have moved back into her own room by now. She hugged my pillow, her hands fisted in the material as she slumbered, her dark hair a wave of chocolate behind her on the crisp, white sheets. I studied her as she slept. She looked young and vulnerable. I remembered thinking she was weak. She was anything but. Knowing her now the way I did, I knew she had a core of steel—without it, she’d have folded up long ago—yet she hadn’t.


She survived losing her parents, living on the streets, the pain of watching Penny become ill, and me—in all my selfish, shortsighted, egotistical glory.


She shifted, the covers dragging back with her movement. I grinned when I sawshe was wearing the T-shirt I’d had on the day before I left.


My wife was in my bed, wearing my clothes.


I found I was more than okay with both facts.


With a muffled sigh, I put down my bag, grabbed some sleep pants, and got ready for bed, making sure to stay silent. Carefully, I slipped in behind her and tugged her back to my chest. She startled awake, stiffening in my embrace.


“Relax, sweetheart. It’s me.”


“Why are you home?”


“Business went well. Very well. We wrapped up early.”


She struggled to get up. “I’ll go to my room.”


I pulled her back down. “Stay. You’re fine.” With a grin, I dropped a kiss to her neck. “I’m a snuggler, remember?”She burrowed down with a contented little sound. “Your bed is comfy.”


I couldn’t help teasing her. “And my T-shirt?” I asked, fingering the worn cotton. “Is it comfy, too?”


She brushed my hand away. “I’ve been busy. I hadn’t got around to doing the laundry. It was lying there, so I used it.”


“I saw how busy you’ve been.”


“Do you like it?” Her voice was shy and hesitant.


I dropped a kiss on her forehead. “Good job, Mrs. VanRyan.”


She giggled into her pillow. “I’m glad you’re pleased, Mr. VanRyan.”


I tucked her closer. “I am. Go to sleep. I’ll tell you everything in the morning about the trip.”


“Okay.” She hummed sleepily. “Night.”


“Night.”

Katharine stared at me over her coffee and picked up the contract again. “Just like that? He canceled your trial period?”


I nodded, my mouth full of scrambled eggs. Chewing, I swallowed and grinned. “I have an idea Jenna’s little visit may have had something to do with it.”


She chewed on the end of her nail, and I reached over, smacking her hand. “Stop that.”


“Why do you think Jenna being here had anything to do with it?”


“Think about it, Katharine. Think of what she saw. Us in the same bed, me all over you. We got along well. She even knew we had a fight and made up. I’m pretty sure she told Graham he was wrong to have any doubts.”“Makes sense, I suppose.”


“Plus, he said I’d done a great job—I surpassed expectations. It was his way of rewarding me.” I took a sip of coffee. “Well, the end of my probation, and a generous bonus.”


Her smile was warm. “I knew you’d blow them away with your work. It doesn’t surprise me. You’ve always been brilliant with your ideas.”


Her praise did strange things to me. I rubbed my chest, as if I could move around the warmth radiated by her words, and I smiled at her, my voice sincere. “You’ve always been supportive. Thank you.”


The smile she returned was wide and open. I looked down at my plate, as the normalcy of our situation registered. Was this what marriage was like? A real marriage? Small moments of sharing that made you feel whole—connected.


I dug in my pocket, and slid the smallbox her way. “For you,” I said gruffly, picking up my mug.


She made no move to touch it. I had never met a woman like Katharine. My wealth had always been a magnet for the women I dated. They would be all over me for gifts—wanting them, dropping hints, showing me items on the internet. Practically ripping any offering from my hand if I decided to purchase something. Not Katharine, though.


“Your bonus,” I insisted and nudged the box closer. “Open it. It won’t bite.”


Her hand shook as she reached for the box. She hesitated once it was in her palm, as if anticipating the moment of opening the lid. Appreciating the mystery. I liked watching her expressions as they flitted across her face.


Her eyes grew round as she looked at the ring inside. As soon as I saw it, I knew she would love it. Small and delicate, thediamonds were set into different shaped frames. Tiny squares, ovals, circles, and rectangles made up a ring as unique and different as her. It wasn’t the most expensive ring the store had, and certainly not the biggest, but it suited Katharine. Even Graham had nodded his approval the second my finger tapped on the glass case.


“That one, please. I would like to see that one.”


Katharine looked up at me. “I don’t understand.”


“It’s a gift, Katharine.”


“Why?”


I shrugged. “Because you deserve it.” I touched the contract envelope. “None of this would have happened without you. I wanted to say thank you.” I added, completely sincere. It was important she believed me—that she knew I was aware of how much she had done for me.


“It’s beautiful.”“Put it on.”


She slid the ring on her right hand and twisted her wrist in the way women did when admiring a ring on their finger. “It fits!”


Reaching over, I took her hand and studied it. It fit well and it suited her perfectly. I set down her hand on the counter, patting it awkwardly.


“Do you like it?”


“It’s . . .” Her voice was thick. “It’s gorgeous.”


“I was thinking of earrings, but I noticed Jenna and Laura have rings on their right hands, so I thought you’d like one, too. We could get earrings, if you prefer.”


She shook her head. “No. It’s perfect.”


The air around us swirled with emotion. She kept looking at her hand and blinking fast. Oh God—was she going to cry? Over a present? I wasn’t sure I would be able tohandle it if she started crying. Emotion like that made me extremely edgy.


I clapped my hands. “Good choice, then. I’ll save the earrings for another time. Maybe a six-month anniversary or something. I’m sure the Gavins celebrate milestones like those. I’ll have to keep up.”


She cleared her throat and slid off her stool. “I guess so.”


I was shocked when she stopped by my chair after dumping her coffee in the sink. She cupped my cheek and pressed her lips to it, lightly. “Thank you, Richard,” she murmured, then kept walking.


I turned in my chair to watch her climb the steps. It was only when I shifted back that I realized my hand covered my face where her lips had touched, as if I was holding her kiss to my skin.


How odd.

This is the link to the other story. https://www.nairaland.com/5275292/sterling-shores-series-c.m-owens#

update now

Pls update ......

CHAPTER 24

RICHARD


I GLANCED OVER AT PENNY with a frown. I had been excited the same jazz trio we’d seen before was doing an encore performance this evening, but she’d been off the entire night. More than once, she had lifted her hand, wiping away a tear as it rolled down her cheek. When I asked, concerned, if she was all right, she waved me away with an impatient hand.


“I’m fine.”


Yet, she seemed to be anything except fine.


I wheeled her back to her room, hoping the treat I had waiting would pick up her spirits.


Katharine mentioned Penny wasn’t eating well the past couple days andseemed tired. Tonight, her caregiver told me she picked at her dinner and had only eaten lunch because Katharine fed it to her.


I knew Katharine was worried. She had considered canceling her yoga class, but I encouraged her to go. I reminded her only two classes remained, then she could join us every Tuesday. I would miss my time with Penny, but the classes started again a month later, so it would be back to us at that point. My favorite part of the night was listening to Penny tell stories of Katharine. There were so many—some Katharine herself had undoubtedly forgotten. They often contained humorous, embarrassing moments that made me chuckle.


I sat beside Penny, sliding the pizza box open with a smile. “Voila!”


When I discovered, next to cheeseburgers, pizza was her favorite food, I started bringing it to her regularly. It was fine with the home, and I made sure I had plenty for the staff on occasion. One day I brought enough pizza so any resident who wanted some could enjoy it. I was a hero that day.


Today, however, it was only for Penny.


She took a slice yet made no move to eat it. With a sigh, I took her slice back and returned it to the box. I wrapped my hand around her fragile wrist, rubbing the delicate skin of her palm.


“Penny, what is it? What’s wrong?”


She heaved a deep exhale of air, the sound drained and resigned. “I’m tired.”


“You want me to get Connie? She can get you ready for bed.” Tami was off tonight, but she liked Connie.


“No. I don’t want to go to bed.”


“I don’t understand.”


Withdrawing her hand, she rubbed it over her face in a weary manner. “I’m tired of all this.”“Your room?” If she wanted a different one, I’d get it for her.


“Of being here. In this . . . life, if you can call it that.”


I had never heard her talk this way. “Penny—”


She reached out and wrapped her hand around mine.


“I forget things, Richard. Time goes on and I don’t know if it’s the same day that it was only a moment ago. Katy comes to visit and I can’t remember if she was here hours ago, days ago, or if she just left the room for a minute. Some days, I don’t recognize anything, and I’m scared. I know there are days I don’t know her.” Her voice shook, eyes glimmering with tears. “I don’t know myself most days.”


“She’s here. Every day, she comes to see you, and even if you forget her, she knows you. She stays and sits with you.”


“I’m a burden to her.”“No,” I insisted. “You aren’t a burden to her. She loves you.”


“You must resent me.”


“What? No. Not at all. I love spending time with you. You’re part of my family now, Penny. You became that when I married Katharine.” As the words left my mouth, I realized I was telling her the truth.


“She should be doing other things, traveling, having babies, making friends, not babysitting an old woman.”


“Why are you talking like this? You know Katharine would do anything for you. So would I.” I lifted her hand up and pressed a kiss to the thin skin. “Please, Penny, if she heard you . . .”


“I miss Burt.”


“I know,” I soothed. “You were married a long time. Of course, you miss him.”


“Forty years. We weren’t rich, but we had love.” She smiled softly. “I loved watchinghim cook. He was a chef—did you know that?”


“Yes, you told me.”


“I was a teacher. We had a good life. When he died, I didn’t know how I was going to carry on. But then, I found Katy. She became my reason.”


“She needed you.”


“She doesn’t need me anymore.”


“You’re wrong. She does.”


“Will you look after her?”


“Don’t. Don’t give in yet, Penny. Katharine—she’d be devastated.”


She shut her eyes as her shoulders sagged. “I’m just so tired.”


I panicked when I realized she wasn’t referring to wanting to go to bed. She was tired of life and being trapped in a body that no longer worked, with a mind that left her confused and forgetful.


I bent close, lowering my voice. “I’ll lookafter her. I promise. She won’t want for anything.” I could promise her that. I would make sure Katharine was all right. “Don’t give up. She does need you.”


Her eyes opened, her gaze drifting past me. “Can you give me that picture?”


I turned and handed her the picture to which she pointed. After coming clean about being married, Katharine brought her a picture of us on our wedding day, and one Tami had snapped when we were visiting. Katharine was holding her hand, Penny was tweaking her nose and laughing, and I sat beside them, smiling. We looked like a family.


She traced our faces. “She’s been my life since I lost Burt.”


“I know.”


“She is everything I knew she would be—smart, loving, strong.”


“I agree. Beautiful, too. Tough as nails. You had a lot to do with that, Penny.”That made her smile. The first real one I’d seen tonight.


She stretched up and patted my cheek. “You’re a good boy.”


Those words made me chuckle. No one had ever said them to me.


“When you get older, Richard, you realize life is made up of moments. All sorts of them. Sad ones, good ones, and great ones. They make up the tapestry that is your life. Hold on to all of them—especially the great ones. They make the others easy to take.”


I covered her hand with mine. “Stay,” I urged. “For her. Give her more great moments, Penny.”


With a sigh, she nodded. “I want to go to bed now.”


Turning my face, I kissed her palm. “I’ll get Connie.”


She met my eyes, a fierce gaze thattrapped and held mine. “Love, Richard. Make sure you surround her with love.”


I could only nod.


She tweaked my nose. That was what she did to Katharine—her way of saying, “I love you.”


My eyes stung all the way to the desk to get Connie.

My phone vibrated on the wooden table and I picked it up, stifling a grin at the number. Golden Oaks. I wondered what Penny was asking Tami for now. Since our unsettling evening last week, she had wanted something daily, and I made sure she got it. I never told Katharine about our conversation. She was already plenty worried. Penny was obviously slowing down, and her mind giving She had been more like herself last night, but had fallen asleep as soon as I got her back to her room. I left her in her caregiver’s capable hands with a kiss on her downy cheek.


I declined the call, planning to return it when the meeting was over. I focused my attention back to Graham, who was pointing out a client’s desires for their next campaign, when my phone went off again. Glancing over, I saw it was Golden Oaks. A small pit of worry began in my stomach. Tami knew I would call her back. Why was she being so insistent?


I glanced up at Graham, who had paused his speaking.


“Do you need to take that, Richard?”


“I think it may be important.”


He nodded. “Five minute break, everyone.”


I accepted the call. “Tami?” more often. “Mr. VanRyan, I’m sorry to interrupt.” Her voice sent ripples of anxiety down my back. “I have some terrible news.”


I had no recollection of standing, but suddenly I was on my feet. “What happened?”


“Penny Johnson passed away about an hour ago.”


I shut my eyes against the sudden burn. I gripped my phone tighter, my voice thick. “Has my wife been told?”


“Yes. She was here this morning, and had only left a short time before I went in to check on Penny. I called her back.”


“Is she there now?”


“Yes. I tried to ask her about arrangements, but I can’t get her to talk. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I called you.”


“No, you did the right thing. I’m on my way. Don’t let her leave, Tami. I’ll handle all the arrangements.”I hung up, dropping my phone, the sound of it hitting the table, a dull thud breaking the roar in my head. I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up into Graham’s concerned face.


“Richard, I’m sorry.”


“I have to . . .” My voice trailed off.


“Let me drive you.”


I felt odd. Off balance. My mind was chaotic, my stomach in knots, and my eyes burned. One thought clarified, her name burning in my brain. “Katharine.”


“She needs you. I’ll take you to her.”


I nodded. “Yes.”





At the home, I didn’t hesitate, rushing through the hallways. I saw Tami outside Penny’s room, the door closed. “Is she in there?”


“Yes.”


“What do you need?”


“I need to know if there was anything arranged, pre-planning, what her wishes were for when she passed?”


“I know she wanted to be cremated. I don’t think Katharine had made any pre-arrangements.” I ran my hand over the back of my neck. “I have no experience with this, Tami.”


Graham’s voice came from behind me. “Let me help, Richard.”


I turned in surprise. I thought he had dropped me off and left.


He extended his hand to Tami, introducing himself. She smiled in acknowledgement. He turned back to me.


“Go to your wife. I have a good friend who has a string of funeral homes. I’ll contact him and start things for you—Tami can advise me.”


She nodded. “Of course.” She laid her hand on my arm. “When you’re ready, I’ll get Joey and take him to the lounge. He is staying here with us.”


“All right.”


“I’ll help Mr. Gavin as best I can.”


“I’d appreciate it—so will Katy.”


Graham smiled. “So rarely you call her that. Go—she needs you.”


I slipped into the room, quietly pushing the door shut. The room seemed so wrong. There was no music, no Penny sitting at one of her canvasses, humming away. Even Joey was silent, huddled on his perch, his head buried in his wing. The curtains were drawn, the room dimmed in sadness.


Katharine was a huddled figure sitting beside Penny’s bed, holding her hand. I moved beside her, allowing myself a moment to gaze down at the woman who had changed my life. Penny looked as if she was asleep, her face peaceful. She would no longer be confused or agitated, no longer searching for something she couldn’t remember.


No longer able to tell me stories of the woman who was now grieving for her.


I lowered myself beside my wife, covering the hand clutching Penny’s with mine. “Katharine,” I murmured.


She didn’t move. She remained frozen, her face blank, not speaking.


I slid my arm around her stiff shoulders, bringing her close. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I know how much you loved her.”


“I just left,” she whispered. “I was halfway home, and they called. I shouldn’t have left.”


“You didn’t know.”


“She said she was tired and wanted to rest. She didn’t want to paint. She asked me to turn off the music. I should have known something was wrong,” she insisted.


“Don’t do this to yourself.”


“I should have been with her when she—”


“You were with her. You know how she felt about this, sweetheart. She said it all the time—when she was ready, she was going. You were here, the person she loved the most—the person she would want to be the last one she saw, and she was ready.” I ran my hand over her hair. “She’s been ready for a while, baby. I think she was waiting to make sure you were going to be okay.”


“I didn’t say goodbye.”


I tugged her head to my shoulder. “Did you kiss her?”


“Yes.”


“Did she tweak your nose?”


“Yes.” “Then you said goodbye. That’s how you two did it. You didn’t need words, any more than you had to tell her you loved her. She knew, sweetheart. She always knew.”


“I don’t . . . I don’t know what to do now.”


Her entire body shuddered, and unable to take her intensifying pain, I stood, lifted her, sitting back down before she could protest. She still clutched Penny’s hand, and I could feel her trembling.


“Let me help, sweetheart. Graham is here, too. We’ll figure out what we need to do.”


Her head fell to my chest, and I felt the wet of her tears. I pressed a kiss to her head, holding her until I felt her body relax and she released Penny’s hand, gently letting it rest on the quilt. We sat in silence as I stroked my hand up and down her back.


There was a knock at the door, and I called out for them to enter. Graham came in, crouching beside us.


“Katy, dear girl, I am so sorry.”


Her voice was a mere whisper. “Thank you.”


“Laura is here. We would like to help you and Richard with the arrangements, if you are willing.”


She nodded, another shiver running down her spine.


“I think I need to take her home.”


Graham stood up. “Of course.”


I bent my head lower. “Are you ready, sweetheart? Or do you want to stay longer?”


She looked up at Graham, her lips quivering. “What is going to happen?”


“My friend, Conrad, will come pick her up. According to Richard, she wanted to be cremated?”


“Yes.”


“He will arrange everything, and we can discuss what sort of service you would like.”


“I want to celebrate her life.”


“We can do that.”


“What about”—she swallowed—“her things?”


“I’ll arrange to have everything packed up and brought to the condo, sweetheart,” I assured her. “Tami said Joey was staying here?”


“The other residents like him—they’ll look after him. I’d like to donate some of her things to the residents who don’t have as much as she did—her clothes and wheelchair, things like that.”


“Okay, I’ll make the arrangements. When you’re ready you can go through everything, and I’ll make sure it happens.”


She was silent, looking at Penny. She nodded. “Okay.”


I stood up, taking her with me. I didn’t like the trembling in her body or theshakiness in her voice. I felt better holding her, and she didn’t protest.


I looked down at Penny, saying my own silent thank you and goodbye. Feeling the burn of emotion in my eyes, I blinked it away. I had to stay strong for Katharine.


“I’ll get the car,” Graham offered, and left the room.


I met Katharine’s gaze, her eyes wide with pain and sadness. A rush of overwhelming tenderness ran through me, and the need to ease her hurt filled my entire being.


I pressed my lips to her forehead, murmuring against her skin. “I’ve got you. We’ll get through this together. I promise.”


She leaned in to my caress, her quiet need touching.


“Are you ready?”


Nodding, she buried her head into my chest, tightening her grip on my jacket. I strode from the room, knowing both our lives were about to change.


Once again, I had no idea how to cope with it.

CHAPTER 25
RICHARD


THE CONDO WAS QUIET. KATHARINE, after another night of silence, had gone to bed. She hadn’t eaten much dinner, barely sipped her wine, and answered my questions with small hums or shakes of her head. I heard her moving around upstairs, the sound of drawers opening and closing, and I knew she was probably rearranging and organizing. She did that when she was upset.


Worry ate away at my nerves; it was something I’d never experienced. I wasn’t used to caring about anyone. I wondered how to help her to feel better, how to help her talk. She needed to talk.


The memorial had been small but special. Since Laura and Graham handled most of the arrangements, it wasn’t surprising. Laura sat with Katharine and helped her pick out some photos, which they placed around the room. Her favorite one of Penny they positioned by the urn that was decorated with wildflowers. There were flowers sent by different people, the largest arrangement came from Katharine and myself. All of Penny’s favorites filled the vase beside her picture; the majority of the flowers were daisies.


Most of the staff from The Gavin Group came to pay their respects. I stood by Katharine, my arm wrapped around her waist, holding her rigid body close to mine, in silent support. I shook hands, accepting the murmured words of condolences; aware of the way her figure shook at times. Some care workers and staff from Golden Oaks attended, and Katharine accepted their hugs and whispered words of shared grief, then always stepped back beside me, as if seeking the shelter of my embrace. There were few of Penny’s friends left to attend—those who did, Katharine gave preferential treatment. She crouched low to speak in hushed tones to those in wheelchairs, made sure the ones with walkers were escorted to a seat quickly, and after the brief ceremony, spent time with them all.


I kept my eye on her and stayed close, worried over the lack of tears and the constant shake of her hands. I had never experienced grief until that day. When my parents died, I had felt nothing except relief after all they put me through. I had been sad when Nana left the house, but it was the sadness of a child. The pain I felt for Penny was a scorching ache in my chest. It welled and spilled over in the strangest of ways. Unshed tears burned in my eyes when I least expected them. When the boxes containing her possessions arrived, I had to stay in the storage room, overcome with an emotion I couldn’t explain. I found myself thinking of our talks, the way her eyeswould light up when I mentioned Katharine’s name. Her sweet, funny stories of their life together. My calendar still showed all my Tuesday evenings blocked out with the name Penny across them. Somehow, I couldn’t bring myself to erase them yet. On top of the already strange emotions I felt was the concern for my wife.


I thought she was handling everything. I knew she was grieving the loss of the woman she loved like a mother, yet she had been calm. Steady. She had cried once, but I hadn’t seen her weep since the day Penny passed. Since the memorial earlier today, she had shut down. She had gone out for a walk, silently shaking her head at my offer to accompany her. When she returned, she went straight to her room until I went to get her to eat dinner.


Now, with my limited knowledge of helping other people, I was at a loss. It wasn’t as if I could call Jenna or Graham and ask them what I should do for my ownwife. They thought we were close and would assume I would know exactly what to do. Today, when we left the funeral home, Jenna had hugged me and whispered, “Take care of her.” I wanted to, but I didn’t know how. I had no experience with such intense emotions.


I paced the living room and kitchen, restlessly prowling the floor, sipping my wine. I knew I could go and work out to relieve some of my tension, except I wasn’t in the mood. Somehow, the gym seemed too far away from Katharine, and in case she needed me, I wanted to be close.


I sat down on the sofa, and the plump cushion beside me made me smile. Another one of Katharine’s touches. Silky blankets, downy pillows, warm colors on the walls and the artwork she had added, made the condo feel like home. I paused as I lifted my glass. Had I ever told her I liked what she did?With a groan, I drained my wine, setting down the glass on the table. Bending forward, I clutched my hair, tugging on it until it was painful. I had improved over the past weeks, of that I was certain, but had I changed enough? I knew my tongue wasn’t as sharp. I knew I’d been a better person. Even so, I wasn’t sure if it was sufficient. If she was struggling, did she trust me enough to turn to me?


I was shocked to realize how much I wanted that. I wanted to be her rock. To be the person she could depend on. I knew I had come to rely on her—for many things in my life.


Giving up, I snapped off the lights and went to my room. I changed into my sleep pants and walked over to the bed, hesitating, then left my room. I went to her door, not surprised to see it partially open. How my “night noises,” as she politely called them, brought her comfort, I didn’t understand, but ever since the day sheadmitted needing them, I never shut it at night.


For a moment, I felt odd standing outside her door, unsure why I was there. Until I heard it. The sound of muffled weeping. Without another thought, I slipped in her room. Her blind was open, the moonlight spilling in her window. She was curled in a ball, crying. Her body shook so hard with the force of her sobs, I could see the bed moving. Lifting the blanket, I slipped my arms around her, holding her close and carrying her to my room. Cradling her, I lowered us to the bed, tucking the covers around us. She stiffened, but I held her tight.


“Let it out, Katharine. You’ll feel better, sweetheart.”


She melted into me, her body molded to mine. Her hands clutched at my bare shoulders, her tears hot on my skin as she wept uncontrollably. I stroked my hand overher back, my fingers through her hair, and made, what I hoped were, comforting noises. Despite the reason, I liked having her close. I missed her softness melded to my hardness. She fit to me so well.


Eventually, her sobs began to taper, the terrible shudders easing from her frame. I leaned over, grabbing some tissues and pressing a bunch into her hand.


“I–I’m s–sorry,” she stuttered in a whisper.


“You have nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart.”


“I disturbed you.”


“No, you didn’t. I want to help you. I keep telling you—anything you need, all you have to do is ask.” I hesitated. “I’m your husband. It’s my job to help you.”


“You’ve been so nice. Kind, even.”


I winced a little at the shock in her voice. I knew I deserved it, but I still didn’t like it.“I’m trying to be better.”


She shifted a little, tilting up her head to study me. “Why?”


“You deserve it, and you just lost someone you love. You’re grieving. I want to help you. I don’t know how, though. I’m new to all of this, Katy.” Using my thumb, I gently wiped away the fresh tears leaking from the corner of her eyes.


“You called me Katy.”


“I guess it rubbed off. Penny called you that all the time. So does everyone else.”


“She liked you.”


My throat felt strangely thick as I studied her face in the pale light from the window. “I liked her,” I stated, quiet but honest. “She was a wonderful woman.”


“I know.”


“I know you’ll miss her, sweetheart, but . . .” I didn’t want to say the same platitudes I’d heard uttered to her over the past fewdays. “She would have hated being a burden to you.”


“She wasn’t!”


“She would have argued with you. You worked hard to make her feel safe. You sacrificed so much.”


“She did the same for me. She always put me first.” She shuddered. “I–I don’t know where I’d be today if it hadn’t been for her finding me and taking me in.”


I didn’t want to think about that either. Penny’s actions had affected both our lives—for the better.


“She did it because she loved you.”


“I loved her.”


“I know.” I cupped her face, staring into her pain-filled eyes. “You loved her so much you married a total asshole who treated you like shit so you could make sure she was looked after properly.”


“You stopped being a total asshole a fewweeks ago.”


I shook my head. “I should never have been an asshole to you at all.” To my shock, I felt tears gather in my eyes. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”


“You miss her, too.”


Unable to speak, I nodded.


She pulled me down, my head resting in the crook of her neck. I couldn’t remember the last time I cried—most likely when I was a child—but I cried now. I cried for the loss of a woman I only knew for a brief time, yet came to mean so much to me. Who, with her stories and fractured memories, brought to life the woman I was married to—her words showed me Katy’s goodness and light.


She and Katy showed me it was okay to feel, to trust . . . and to love.


Because, in that one moment, I knew I was in love with my wife.I yanked Katy to me, holding her tight. When my tears dried, I lifted my head, meeting her gentle gaze. The air between us changed from one of comfort and care to something charged and alive.


The lust and longing I had denied myself ignited. My body burned for the woman I was holding, and Katy’s eyes widened, the same desire flaring in their vivid blue color.


Giving her the chance to say no, I lowered my head, pausing over her quivering lips.


“Please?” I whispered, not certain what I was asking.


Her feather-soft whimper was all I needed, and my mouth met hers with a hunger I had never experienced.


It wasn’t only lust and desire. It was need and longing. It was redemption and forgiveness. All of it wrapped up in one tiny woman.


It was like being reborn in a fiery burst of flames that licked and snapped at my spine. Every single nerve hummed in my body. I could feel every inch of her pressed to me; every curve fit to me as if she were made for me and me alone. Her tongue was like velvet against mine, her breath like gusts of pure life filling my lungs. I couldn’t get close enough. I couldn’t kiss her deep enough. Her ridiculous nightshirt vanished under my fists, the material ripping easily. I had to touch her skin. I needed to feel all of her. Using her feet, she pushed down my pants; my erection released, trapped between us. We both groaned as our skin met. Soft, smooth skin, rubbed my rougher, harder body.


She was like cream—fluid and sweet, wrapping around me. Using my hands and tongue, I discovered her everywhere. The dips and hollows hidden from the world were now mine to explore. I feasted on her taste, each discovery new and exotic. Her breasts were full and lush in my hands, hernipples pert and sensitive. She moaned as I tongued them to stiff peaks, tugging on them gently with my teeth. She squirmed and whimpered as I drifted lower, swirling my tongue on her stomach, down to her tiny belly button, and beyond, until I found her, wet and ready for me.


“Richard,” she gasped. The word was static and frantic as I closed my mouth around her and tasted her sweetness. Her body bowed, arching and stretching as I explored, using my tongue to delve and tease. She buried her hand in my hair, pushing me closer and tugging me back as I built a rhythm. Her moans and whimpers were like music to my ears. I slid a finger, then two, inside, stroking her deeply.


“God, sweetheart, you’re so tight,” I moaned into her heat.


“I’ve . . . I’ve never been with a man.”


I stilled, lifted my head, her words sinking in. She was a virgin. I needed to remember that, to be gentle with her and treat her with respect. That she would bestow that gift to me, of all people, made me ache with emotions I couldn’t identify. I shouldn’t be surprised, yet, as always, she continued to confound me.


“Don’t stop,” she pleaded.


“Katy—”


“I want this, Richard, with you. I want you.”


I crawled up her body, cradling her head; kissing her mouth with a reverence I had never felt or shown another person. “Are you sure?”


She drew me back to her mouth. “Yes.”


I moved over her carefully; I wanted to make her first time memorable. To show her with my body what I was experiencing with my soul.


To make her mine in every sense of the word. I worshipped her with my touch, keeping it light and gentle, her skin like silk under my hands. Loving her with my mouth, I learned every part of her in the most intimate ways, memorizing her taste and the feel of her. I stroked her passion with my own until she was pleading for me.


I groaned and hissed as she became bolder, touching and discovering me with her teasing lips and tender hands. Her name fell like a prayer from my mouth as her fingers stroked my shoulders, down my spine, then encased my cock. Finally, I hovered over her, covering her with my body, sinking deep into her tight warmth, holding her until she begged me to move, and then, and only then, did I let my passion fly. I thrust powerfully, driving into her over and again. I kissed her hard as I took her, needing her taste in my mouth as much as I needed her body wrapped around me. Katy held me tight, groaning my name, her fingers digging into my back as she grasped me hard.


“Oh, God, Richard, please. Oh, I need . . .”


“Tell me,” I urged. “Tell me what you need.”


“You . . . more . . . please!”


“I’ve got you, baby.” I moaned, pushing her leg higher and sinking deeper. “Only me. You’re only ever going to have me.”


She cried out, her head flung back, body tensing. She was beautiful in her release, her neck stretched taut, a slight sheen of sweat on her skin. My own orgasm flickered, and I buried my face in Katy’s neck as the force of my pleasure rocked my world. I turned my head, grabbed her chin, bringing her mouth to mine, kissing her as the shockwaves rippled then calmed in my body. I rolled, tugging her to my chest, nuzzling her hair. She sighed, burrowing close.


“Thank you,” she breathed out.“Trust me, sweetheart. The pleasure was all mine.”


“Well, not all yours.”


I chuckled against her head, pressing a kiss to her warm skin.


“Sleep, Katy.”


“I should go—”


I tightened my arms, not wanting her to leave. “No. Stay here with me.”


She sighed, her body giving a long, slow shudder.


“Front or back?” I murmured. She liked to sleep with her back pressed to my chest. I liked waking up with my face buried in her warm neck and her body connected to mine.


“Back.”


“Okay.” I loosened my arms so she could roll over. Bringing her back to me, I kissed her gently. “Go to sleep. We have a lot to talk about tomorrow.” “Tomorrow. We’ll figure out the next step tomorrow.”


“Okay.”


I shut my eyes, breathing her in. Tomorrow I would tell her everything. Ask her to tell me what she was thinking. I wanted to tell her what I was feeling—that I was in love with her. Clear the air for both of us. Then help her move her things into my room, making it our room.


I didn’t want to be without her beside me again.


With a sigh of contentment I didn’t think I’d ever experience, I fell asleep.

I woke up alone, my hand on cold, empty sheets. I wasn’t surprised—Katy had been more restless than usual the past few nights, and even more so last night. More than once I had pulled her back to me, feeling the sobs she was trying to hide. I had held her, letting her emotions drain from her body.


I ran a hand over my face and sat up. I would have a shower, then find her in the kitchen. I had to talk to her. There was so much to clear up—a great many things I needed to apologize for, so we could move forward—together.


I swung my legs off the bed, grabbed my robe, and stood up. I began walking to the bathroom and stopped. My bedroom door was shut tight. Why was it closed? Was Katy worried about disturbing me? I shook my head. She was one of the quietest people I knew, especially in the morning.


I crossed the room and opened the door. Silence greeted me. No music or any sounds from the kitchen met my ears. I glanced over toward Katy’s room. Her door was standing ajar, but there were no sounds from her room, either. Something in my stomach tightened, and I couldn’t shake it off. Crossing the hall, I looked inside. The bed was made, the room tidy and spotless. It felt empty.


I headed to the stairs, taking them two at a time, making a beeline for the kitchen, calling for Katy. She didn’t respond, and the room was deserted.


I stood, panicked. She must have gone out—maybe to the store. There were several reasons for her to have left the condo. I hurried to the entryway. Her car keys were on the hook.


She must have gone for a walk, I told myself.


I headed back to the kitchen toward the coffee maker. She had shown me how to use it, so at least I could make a pot of coffee. It was misty out, the clouds low and dark. She’d need the heat of a hot drink when she returned.Except, when I reached for the pot, I saw her phone sitting on the counter. Beside it, her condo keys. My hand shook as I picked them up. Why would she leave her keys? How would she get into the condo?


I looked back to the counter. It was all there. The bankcards and the checkbook I’d given her. The copy of her contract. She had left it all because she had left me.


A glint of light caught my eye, and I leaned forward to pick up her rings.


My memory flashed with images of Katy. Handing her the box and telling her I wasn’t going down on one knee. The look on her face when I slid the band on her finger the day I married her for circumstance and not love. She had looked beautiful, but I never told her. There were many things I never told her.


So many things I would never have the chance to tell her—because she was gone.

Updated @greatlinda and @Frozen6

Please dont let the story end this way. So very sad.
PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Ak86:
Started a new story, check it out Sterling shores please. You would enjoy it and thank me later.

OK, well done OP

Pls let it not end here pls.....

Ak86!
What is the meaning of what you did here?
If you let Katy leave just like that I will use Ak47 for you
I beg bring her back and let her enjoin the momentum
Abi what kind of nasty decision is that>
Sweet popcorn for you sir.

Hope Dis Story Never Finish

Ak86 where re u?

Sorry guys we are still searching for Miss Elliot, once she is found update would follow shortly tanks for d patience. Love u guys.

CHAPTER 26
RICHARD


I KNEW SHE WASN’T THERE, yet I still checked every inch of the condo. When I looked in her dresser and closet, most of the new clothes I purchased for her remained, but some were missing. Her two still-to-be-unpacked boxes were in her closet, some of her toiletries were in the bathroom, but the one suitcase she had was missing. I remembered hearing drawers opening and shutting last night. What I thought was her organizing and moving things, was in fact, her preparing to leave me.


I sat down on the edge of her bed with my head in my hands.


Why? Why would she sleep with me when she knew she was going to leave? Why did she leave?


I cursed under my breath—the answer to that was obvious. Penny was dead. She no longer had to provide for her, which meant she no longer had to keep up the pretense of being in love with me.


We had, I thought, been getting along well. I was sure she was feeling something. Why hadn’t she talked to me?


I barked out a laugh in the empty room. Of course, she wouldn’t come and talk to me. When had I ever let her know she could? We had become friendly enemies, united in our common goal. Now that goal had changed for her. I might have planned to talk to her, but she had no idea of how I felt. I still couldn’t wrap my head around it; how much my emotions had changed.


The question I kept shouting in my head, the one that didn’t make sense was: Why did she sleep with me?


The air in my lungs turned to ice asmemories of last night played in my head. She had been a virgin—and I hadn’t worn protection. I’d been so caught up in the moment—in Katy—I hadn’t thought about it until this instant. I had taken her with no condom. I always wore a condom—there was never any discussion with my partners.


What were the chances of her being on birth control? I gripped the back of my neck in panic. What were the chances of her getting pregnant?


She was gone. I had no idea where she was, no idea if she was pregnant. Nor did I have any idea how I would react if she were expecting my baby.


Would she even think about that probability?


I hurried to the den, my anxiety now higher than ever, switching on the laptop. I did a quick history check, wondering if she had used it to book a flight or a train ticket, but I found nothing. I did a check of our bank accounts, sitting back in amazement when I saw she had withdrawn twenty thousand dollars yesterday. I remembered the walk she took in the afternoon, and how she insisted on going alone. She had gone to the bank and withdrawn or transferred the money. Two months’ “salary” was all she took. As I scrolled through her account, I noticed that, other than expenses for Penny, she had never touched a cent of the money. She had spent nothing on herself. She hadn’t taken anything for her future.


I was more confused than ever. She didn’t want my money. She didn’t want me. What did she want?


I drummed my fingers restlessly on the desk. She had left her keys and pass, which meant she couldn’t get in the building or condo. I knew she would eventually be in contact with me to ask for the boxes she left behind, and I would insist on seeing her first. My gaze strayed to the shelf in the den, and I realized Penny’s ashes were gone. Wherever she went, she’d taken them—but I knew her well enough to know she would want her pictures and the contents of those boxes upstairs; they contained sentimental items—things she deemed important.


My mind started spinning, working the way it always did when I had a problem. I began to compartmentalize and figure out solutions. I could tell the Gavins she had gone away for a few weeks. That the shock of Penny’s death was too much and she needed a break. I could say I sent her to a warm place to relax and recover. It would buy me some time. When she got in touch, I could convince her to come back and we could figure something out. We could stay married. I’d get her a place close by, and the only time she’d have to see me was when the occasion called for it. I could convince her to do that. I stood up, staring out the window into the dull light. The overcast day was the perfect foil for my mood. I let my thoughts flow, figuring out different scenarios, finally deciding the simplest was the best. I would stick to my original thoughts of her going away. I had her phone. I could send texts to myself and invent enough phone calls, so they would be none the wiser.


Except . . .


My head fell forward. That wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to know where Katy went. I needed to know she was safe. I wanted to talk to her. She was grieving and not thinking straight. She thought she was alone.


I gripped the windowsill, staring out over the city. She was out there, somewhere, and she was on her own. I had to find her. For both our sakes.I returned to my building and pulled into my parking spot, letting my head fall back against the headrest. I had driven everywhere I could think of where she might go. I’d been to the airport, the train station, the bus depot, even car rental places. I’d shown her picture to what felt like hundreds of people but had found nothing. She left her cellphone behind, so I couldn’t try to call her. I knew she had a credit card of her own, and I tried to get in touch with the issuing bank, to see if it was used recently, but was shut down immediately. If I wanted that information, I would have to hire someone. I hadn’t been able to find a clue on my own.


Discouraged, I dragged myself upstairs and flung myself on the sofa, not bothering to turn on the lights. Daylight was fading, the gray of night slowly eating away at the sky.


Where the hell was she?


Anger overtook me, and I grabbed the closest item and flung it at the wall. It exploded, sending shards of glass around the room. I stood, fuming and anxious. I paced around the room, glass crunching under my shoes as I made the circuit. I grabbed a bottle of scotch, twisting off the lid, drinking without a glass. This was why I didn’t allow emotion into my life. It was like a donkey, slow and useless, and it would kick you in the face when you least expected it. My parents never gave a Bleep about me, and I had learned to rely on myself. I had let my guard down with Katharine and the bitch had bleeped me over. She wanted to be gone? Well, good riddance. She could stay gone. When she finally called for her things, I’d send them along with divorce papers. I froze, the bottle partway to my mouth. The chasm in my chest that had been threatening to crack open all day, broke. I sat down heavily, no longer interested in the bottle.


She wasn’t a bitch, and I didn’t want her gone. I wanted her here. With me. I wanted her quiet voice asking me questions. Her teasing laughter. The way she would arch an eyebrow at me, and whisper “go Bleep yourself, VanRyan.” I wanted her to listen to my ideas, and hear her praise. I sighed, the sound low and sad in the empty room. I wanted to wake up beside her and feel her warmth wrapped around me, the way she had enfolded herself around my dead heart and revived it.


I thought back to our argument a couple weeks ago. The way she tried to convince me love wasn’t such a terrible thing. Had she been feeling something for me? Was it possible? I had dismissed her as being overdramatic—the sadness in her eyes, the weariness of her voice when she told me she was tired of lying, and the guilt that weighed on her. I had insisted we weren’t hurting anyone. Graham got a great employee, Penny had a wonderful care home, Katharine would move on to a better life once this was over, and my life would continue. No one would be the wiser, and no one would suffer.


How wrong I was—because we were both suffering.


I wanted my wife back, and this time, I wanted it for real.


I simply didn’t know how to get it.