YoungFr:
Good evening Nairalanders, please read and advice me on what to do without minding the errors

Some months ago I made a post here https://www.nairaland.com/4676286/im-big-mess-please-advice. After going through all the advice I decided tell my girlfriend (who's now my wife). When I told her everything that happened she gave me just one condition and the condition was that I pay her bride price because we were not legally married before the incident or she will leave with our daughter who's just a year plus.

When I was preparing for the marriage my dad made me go through hell all because he doesn't like my wife (who's an Esan girl) like the other girl who was pregnant for me(Urhobo girl). I did all the marriage arrangements myself without the help or assistance from my dad, on the day of the marriage I provided vehicle for him and his meeting people, the food and all the refreshments. All he was saying is that I have changed since I started dating my wife. I told him things for rough for me but he never believed me.

This is the same person who told me he need a bus of 1.1m for public transport and I gave him 950k, I paid rent his rents numbers of time and even gave him 20k for his meeting for straight five months when he said things was rough for him.

After my marriage I decided to sell my plot of land with foundation on it cos I wanted to get another land in an unknown location to my dad and also pay off some debts. When he found out I wanted to sell the land he said I have no right to sell my own land, saying moreover the price I gave the buyer was too cheap for the land. But before he founds out I already collected 450k from the agent who refereed the buyer to me. Now my dad said he wants to return the 450k and get the paper of the land back, I told him to go ahead cos I know he doesn't have the money and I pulled myself out from the land issue.

My problem now is that the person who gave me the money is on my neck, she called today saying I should come get the balance money. I told her to meet my dad cos I already pulled myself out. Although I and the woman wrote and sign a piece of paper saying I have agreed to sell the land 1m which I have been paid 450k and the paper will be transfer to the buyer on completion of the 1m.

Please advice me on what to do, should I pull myself out and never get myself involved, can I get back the land or I should let go of the land to my dad.

Note: I'm the sixth child, third son of nine children.

Modified: One of the reason I didn't tell him about selling of the land was his attitude during my marriage, his lack of understanding and him pointing fingers at my wife.

Lalasticlala seun please help move this to front page for advice. Thanks

YoungFr:
Good evening Nairalanders, please read and advice me on what to do without minding the errors

Some months ago I made a post here https://www.nairaland.com/4676286/im-big-mess-please-advice. After going through all the advice I decided tell my girlfriend (who's now my wife). When I told her everything that happened she gave me just one condition and the condition was that I pay her bride price because we were not legally married before the incident or she will leave with our daughter who's just a year plus.

When I was preparing for the marriage my dad made me go through hell all because he doesn't like my wife (who's an Esan girl) like the other girl who was pregnant for me(Urhobo girl). I did all the marriage arrangements myself without the help or assistance from my dad, on the day of the marriage I provided vehicle for him and his meeting people, the food and all the refreshments. All he was saying is that I have changed since I started dating my wife. I told him things for rough for me but he never believed me.

This is the same person who told me he need a bus of 1.1m for public transport and I gave him 950k, I paid rent his rents numbers of time and even gave him 20k for his meeting for straight five months when he said things was rough for him.

After my marriage I decided to sell my plot of land with foundation on it cos I wanted to get another land in an unknown location to my dad and also pay off some debts. When he found out I wanted to sell the land he said I have no right to sell my own land, saying moreover the price I gave the buyer was too cheap for the land. But before he founds out I already collected 450k from the agent who refereed the buyer to me. Now my dad said he wants to return the 450k and get the paper of the land back, I told him to go ahead cos I know he doesn't have the money and I pulled myself out from the land issue.

My problem now is that the person who gave me the money is on my neck, she called today saying I should come get the balance money. I told her to meet my dad cos I already pulled myself out. Although I and the woman wrote and sign a piece of paper saying I have agreed to sell the land 1m which I have been paid 450k and the paper will be transfer to the buyer on completion of the 1m.

Please advice me on what to do, should I pull myself out and never get myself involved, can I get back the land or I should let go of the land to my dad.

Note: I'm the sixth child, third son of nine children.

Modified: One of the reason I didn't tell him about selling of the land was his attitude during my marriage, his lack of understanding and him pointing fingers at my wife.

Lalasticlala seun please help move this to front page for advice. Thanks

ZIMDRILL:



i will go straight to the point

the issue is about land but you gave us the story about marriage etc which has nothing to do with land

back to the land issue you didnt tell us who owns the land you or your father or both off you

we can not give advise when we dont know who really owns the land

IamSoProlific:


All this issue on you alone

There's something you're not telling us, how did you get the money to do all those stuffs all by yourself, even paid unwarranted 20k for this cruel time.

The truth shall set you free, but it will first piss you off.

Be honest bro, are you a yahooboy

mankettle:
he be like say na ur papa get the land? if not what is his business on how u take care of your property.
however I will understand if his reservation is that u are selling your assets, in that case ensure u let him know that you are getting another immediately. apart from that, he can only advise and not insist.

YoungFr:

No sir, can you now advice me on what to do

YoungFr:

I don't want him to know I'm getting another cos that will make him think things are ok for me. His level of demanding nor be here

IamSoProlific:


I'm pretty sure you have uncles who are his brothers, go see them, explain stuffs to them in greater detail. Suggest they hold a meeting for the two of you(you're old enough to address and call your dad to order respectfully, even to summon him for a meeting if need be-and this is the need) but let his brothers (your uncles) do that, with you in attendance. Get his friend(s) whom he holds in high esteem to be in attendance too possibly your religious leader(if he's closer to one-only those he's in good relationship with.

As simple as ABC. Even if he's iron man with no heart, his head go cool down.

Thank me later!!!

YoungFr:

My uncle who is my dad eldest brother knows about his attitude during my marriage ceremony, my dad even made a statement on the day of my marriage saying "because you don get small money you think say u go fit control me or tell me what to do". His brother my uncle was surprise but said nothing to my dad, he only calm me down not to react

YoungFr:


I started with the issues of marriage cos it all started during and after my marriage, people may asked why I didn't tell him before putting it up for sales.
I owe the land not my dad