Shy-One:


It is obvious to even a "slow person" that there are "many layers" going on here.

Yankee?  Who uses that word?  Do you live in the Southern part of the US?  Yankee was used by Southerners to describe those that lived in the Northern part of this country back during the Civil War and "racists Southerners" use it today - as they can't seem to step into this CENTURY.  Now you are using that word in a discussion with me?  Who are you?

I assure you my friend - that choosing me as an opponent on an intellectual level isn't a wise decision for you to make.

Can you ONLY do one task at a time?  Can you only see ONE IDEA and assume that that "one idea" is SEPARATE FROM OTHERS?

Pay attention ok?  

It is obvious that I was implying more than one idea in my statement that you are making a paltry attempt to tear apart.

It's obvious the Dad wants MANY THINGS FOR HIS OFFSPRING.  Avoiding the "craziness" with many of the kids in the US and instilling his native cultures in the childrearing process as well as bonding his children with his family in Nigeria and learning about their native land, etc, etc, etc,

Try to learn how to grasp more than one concept ok?

Are you watching TV and trying to post?  It seems as though your full attention isn't being applied to what you are reading and writing here on NL.

this reminds me of that beyonce lyric. 'can you walk and talk at the same time '

dayokanu:

I dont speak Gorilla, can you tell someone to communicate your thoughts clearly?


The man whose genes run in the children too has a say. And if opinions conflict, they should find a mid point not that the woman would would file for sole custody of the child like the OP and some people wanted

chei

tpiah:

the man sef has received some bashing but he deserves it sha.

he deserves more than bashing. he deserves a slap. tryna send off ya 5 year old kids to that fiery inferno called naija ? he must not have any kind of bond with them.

I did not finish reading all the posts; however, the wife should begin to speak with a family law attorney in her state. She should look for one with immigration law experience. I am not advocating the divorce of the parents and really am not a fan of state intervention; but, in this instance she should know what her rights are and what protections are afforded her children. In the US, children are protected against parental kidnapping. I do some family law work but not this type. She should go talk to someone and have a plan in place in the event her husband tries to go forward with removing the children from the US.

Here is own opinion,at 5yr the kids are at rite age to learn their culture,morals n language etc but it depends on how their gmom trains them becos she wud pamper her american pikins and it does nt matter where a person grows up or moral after all bill gates grew up in d west now we all knw him "osisi ka nkwu" aba kidnapper kingpin grew up in aba look wat he turn up to be,n remember our 1n1 only unsuccessful terrorist his parent sent him to learn d morals of islam n he turn up 2 b popular

I'd read all the comments on this thread but if you ask me, i'll say if both of them did not come to a concrete agreement, then the man has no right on what he's planin to do with the kids b'cos, i believe cases like these calls for court's attention. And if it finally ends in the court, DEFINATELY the woman wil smile out of the court happily with the kids (plus part of husbands wealth that wil be givin to her for children up keep) !!! Den na who go lose?

Then maybe the man would ask his mother to wait for another 5yrs to re-marry and have kids again so dat he can take dem down to Nigeria for her nurse dem (Daz if d old woman can even withstand d present 5yrs dat we'r talkin about) !!!

am sorry but the man has a right to relocate his kids to Nigeria.

if this was the other way round and he wanted to send his children to America from Nigeria some of you guys would be silent. hypocrites if you ask me.

ezeomoba:

Here is own opinion,at 5yr the kids are at rite age to learn their culture,morals n language etc but it depends on how their gmom trains them becos she wud pamper her american pikins and it does nt matter where a person grows up or moral after all bill gates grew up in d west now we all knw him "osisi ka nkwu" aba kidnapper kingpin grew up in aba look wat he turn up to be,n remember our 1n1 only unsuccessful terrorist his parent sent him to learn d morals of islam n he turn up 2 b popular

Good points although I repeat this is not about morals, tradition or culture but about a power tussle between the wife and her mother-in-law

A lot of people here are just generalising foolishly as if there are no bad people in Nigeria and there are not plenty of good and productive people in America and vice versa. That's the most annoying part. The truth is there are good and bad people everywhere but a major factor is the morals and values the parents are able to instill in their child in his or her formative years. Nothing can replace that. So I don't know why any parent would want to be separated from his own child during those years.

[

tensor777:

Well he should not do it without the consent of the wife and mother of his kids. If he remains adamant the wife would have no option but to immediately seek the counsel of her lawyer or social services. After all he could at any moment just decide to take the kids on a "holiday" to Nigeria.

In that case, they would both have to seek legal advice, and were the court to agree to a divorce, there may well be a possibility that they may not rule the kids are better brought up by their father [were he to relocate to Nigeria with them] in nigeria. that way the woman may end up without a husband, her kids and a marriage.

So while they were courting and all those night post se.x pillow talks; these discussions never came up? What were they talking about?

Since it has already happened; I hope they meet @ a common ground. And if they can't agree at all/ well may the parent with the best bargaining power win. Whatever the outcome it won't be the worst decision in the world.

America is such an awful place with running water, electricity and plenty food and love from mummy compared with the village in Nigeria with no water no electricity, no food that these babies will be used too exposure to harsh enviroment and no parent in sight to comfort them. You are foolish.

snowdrops:

am sorry but the man has a right to relocate his kids to Nigeria.

if this was the other way round and he wanted to send his children to America from Nigeria some of you guys would be silent. hypocrites if you ask me.

LadyT:




America is such an awful place with running water, electricity and plenty food and love from mummy compared with the village in Nigeria with no water no electricity, no food that these babies will be used too exposure to harsh enviroment and no parent in sight to comfort them. You are foolish.

thank goodness someone else saw how strange this was

Did the couples involved in this disagreement court each other? Did they both agree to bring the kids into this world? did they ever discuss how and where they will raise their children? Even if the mother inlaw (Grandmom) was involved in the decisions before they were married, is she going to keep ruling the house from day to day? If the Grandmom did a good work raising the father of these children, then she should not be dictating what happens in this home in New Jersey. The only reason she may be thinking the son is not doing a good work with impacting naija culture into the twins is because she (Grandmom) did a yeow mans job and is tring to make corrections by raising the twins. She may again create another disaster. THE CHILDREN NEED TO BE PROTECTED FROM INDECISIVE PARENTS. IF YOU GET MARRIED AND BROUGHT CHILDREN TO THIS WORLD, DO NOT PASS THE CHILDREN OFF TO SOMEONE ELSE TO RAISE EVEN IF THAT SOMEONE IS YOUR MOTHER OR MOTHER INLAW.

I strongly believe we all should always take our time before saying anything on nairaland,if a man wants to bring up is children in is ways wht is wrong with tht.how many of us here knows that most knife and gun crimes in the uk is caused by children from 10-18 years old and 80% of them are africans.we should seriously think abt things before saying them.if the man believes thts the best way for his children why would anyone things he is stupid.are u telling me the man doesnt like the children thts why he is sending them to grandmum,obviosly he has seen it from a bigger picture and he doesnt want to have his family name destroyed.

Stop right there! Dont be foolish

Parents are responsible for instilling the right ideas and morals in their children. Are you trying to say there is no crime in nigeria?

saintbiddy:

I strongly believe we all should always take our time before saying anything on nairaland,if a man wants to bring up is children in is ways wht is wrong with tht.how many of us here knows that most knife and gun crimes in the uk is caused by children from 10-18 years old and 80% of them are africans.we should seriously think abt things before saying them.if the man believes thts the best way for his children why would anyone things he is silly.are u telling me the man doesnt like the children thts why he is sending them to grandmum,obviosly he has seen it from a bigger picture and he doesnt want to have his family name destroyed.

A lady I work with had baby with boyfriend, boyfriend dumps her and has nothing to do with her and baby the next thing her mum suggests is send the baby to me in Nigeria so she did at just 6months old!!!!!!!!!!!

Just so she could work all the hours GOD send she sees this child once a year he calls her aunty even though she corrects him he tells her no shes not his mother hes about 4 now. She plans to bring him back age 6. To top off this whole mess her mother who asked for the baby to be sent is over here in LONDON now an has been for about 2yrs working!!!

Shes missed out on so much of his young life something she can never get back she is a stranger to him. We Africans need to stop this culture of dumping kids with relations because we believe it is good for the child.

If grandparent cannot live with you and help take care of the child then too bad. People are raising strangers money is not everything love care and attention is.

Its almost like adoption why bring children into this world if you dont want to care for them?

I cannot speak for anyone but for myself. There is no way in H E L L that I will send my kids to Nigeria to live with a relative at any age. If they are adults and decide that is what they want then so be it. This is the height of irresponsibility to even consider taking those babies to Nigeria to live apart from their parents. I would even go as far as to recommend that she not even allow them go to Nigeria in December as planned because you never know what they have planned for them. Also no offense but I also think your friend is slow. She really needs to wake up. Get a safe deposit box and put the childrens passports there. When the man stops smoking this bad stash of weed and comes down from this high then you can start discussing with him like a man.

My friend sent his 19yr old daughter to Abuja because he thought that his daughter is out of control.
The out-come ----------------- My friend's daughter is now pregnant in Abuja without knowing who did it.
what a shame-

--

Chaircover in summary, Where is the phone number

--

rotflmao!!!!!!

sorry dayo, I should have written it in baboon, then it would've made sense.

suprted:

sorry dayo, I should have written it in baboon, then it would've made sense.

You mean you are multiligual and can speak all the zoo languages? An outstanding achievement.

chaircover:

Dayo are you stalking me?

I've told you . . . . .my friend only wants her kids to be gonna wannas and not maaaaami nje oka ati gbegiri laaro yi

Yes I am stalking you In case you never know. wanna, gonna is that Ijebu dialect?

I will send my pikin back home to be raised. I will actually be there. I have 15 cousins that were born and raised in the US by 5 different parents.2 turned gay. About 10 dey smoke weed.2 get complete tattoo design that resemble T shirt for there body. They are begging some to marry because they are getting old. I can only point to 2 that are okay. You cant eat your cake and have. The case study is bad for me. My cousins in the Uk are better off and they are well behaved.
I think things start getting worse from the high school in the US.
I am not saying you cannot raised a good child in the US, Yes You Can. My pikins will thank me for there naija values.

Sprumbaba:

I will send my pikin back home to be raised. I will actually be there. I have 15 cousins that were born and raised in the US by 5 different parents.2 turned gay. About 10 dey smoke weed.2 get complete tattoo design that resemble T shirt for there body. They are begging some to marry because they are getting old. I can only point to 2 that are okay. You cant eat your cake and have. The case study is bad for me. My cousins in the Uk are better off and they are well behaved.
I think things start getting worse from the high school in the US.
I am not saying you cannot raised a good child in the US, Yes You Can. My pikins will thank me for there naija values.

whats wrong with a 10 yr old smoking weed?will it kill them?what if they are being bullied or harassed at school don't u think weed can take their mind off the whole matter and easy their little burdens.the only think that's bad is guns and knives or stealing.Kids have their rights as well lets not 4get that

I mean about 10 of 15. Not age.

Sprumbaba:

I mean about 10 of 15. Not age.

Point taken,l thot it was age coz there is really nothing wrong if at 10 one wants to stimulate their mind with weed

svovi:

whats wrong with a 10 yr old smoking weed?will it kill them?what if they are being bullied or harassed at school don't u think weed can take their mind off the whole matter and easy their little burdens.the only think that's bad is guns and knives or stealing.Kids have their rights as well lets not 4get that

svovi:

Point taken,l thot it was age coz there is really nothing wrong if at 10 one wants to stimulate their mind with weed

NAIRALAND!!!

@freshera,don't know why u're shocked,Its pple like you who have driven our youngsters into gutters doing shocking things,Havent u heard of a disease called STRESS,do u think kids are immune to it?would u rather a kid take their stress on street violence than to graciously weed away their problems in their bedroom?

plse lets think with our hearts and responsibly,