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Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed - Family - Nairaland

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Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by rayrex(f): 7:20am On Jul 28
Hi,i have been depressed since on tuesday it got to a point i told God to take my life cause of d hard ship we are facing(job less mess)i am a graduate from Uniport since 2013, have been job hunting but to no avail,got married but to a man that sometimes they owe salary currently for eight months now we dont know what is called salary and we have 3 kids,pls any legit jobwith a good salary will b ok am based in PH. A friend talked about insurrance job as a market er what do yöu think she said they pay 31k,btw insurance and bank job which will b better pls advice.I want God to surprise me b4 next month which is my 27th both day.Thanx cry

2 Likes

Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by michlins(m): 7:33am On Jul 28
The way people will quickly say they are depressed is what I hate. Small thing person go say s/he is depressed as if it's a good thing. Let's be clear, all of us are going through something. A depressed person doesn't know they are depressed. Having suicidal thoughts doesn't make you depressed. We have all wished we die at some point in one predicament or another

3 Likes

Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by Oluromantic(m): 7:48am On Jul 28
michlins:
The way people will quickly say they are depressed is what I hate. Small thing person go say s/he is depressed as if it's a good thing. Let's be clear, all of us are going through something. A depressed person doesn't know they are depressed. Having suicidal thoughts doesn't make you depressed. We have all wished we die at some point in one predicament or another
Women easily get tired of hardship than a fowl incubating it's egg for 21 days. Before you know it now, she will start disrespecting the man as her depression get-off scheme. Then next is to threaten to leave him for one baba olowo

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Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by michlins(m): 8:00am On Jul 28
Oluromantic:

Women easily get tired of hardship than a fowl incubating it's egg for 21 days. Before you know it now, she will start disrespecting the man as her depression get-off scheme. Then next is to threaten to leave him for one baba olowo
women are emotional beings. It's part of whom they are and that's what makes them better humans.
What I don't like however is the talk about depression as if it's a trophy

1 Like

Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by Oluromantic(m): 8:02am On Jul 28
michlins:
women are emotional beings. It's part of whom they are and that's what makes them better humans.
What I don't like however is the talk about depression as if it's a trophy
Emotional and enduring hardship are different bro.

Some women are dogged and strong encouragers

7 Likes

Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by michlins(m): 8:15am On Jul 28
Oluromantic:

Emotional and enduring hardship are different bro.

Some women are dogged and strong encouragers
who come this world to come suffer. The way women are raised here gives them an entitlement mindset. A fifteen year old girl already has thirty years old men buying her gifts her parents can't afford. Now when she meets boys her age, she would expect same but we know that 80% of the twenty five years old are still struggling in Nigeria

5 Likes

Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by babythug(f): 5:05pm On Jul 28
rayrex:
Hi,i have been depressed since on tuesday it got to a point i told God to take my life cause of d hard ship we are facing(job less mess)i am a graduate from Uniport since 2013, have been job hunting but to no avail,got married but to a man that sometimes they owe salary currently for eight months now we dont know what is called salary and we have 3 kids,pls any legit jobwith a good salary will b ok am based in PH. A friend talked about insurrance job as a market er what do yöu think she said they pay 31k,btw insurance and bank job which will b better pls advice.I want God to surprise me b4 next month which is my 27th both day.Thanx cry


Your plight is dire and I feel for you!

I wish I had the capacity to immediately assist but what I can offer you for now is this

1. Focus on the positives i.e you have life and are in good health.
2. List what your qualifications are here someone may be able to assist
3. What petty business can you do? Selling snacks, pure water?
think deeply and i assure you, you can squeeze water out of this rock

8 Likes

Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by CanadianNaija: 4:41am On Jul 29
Please stop having kids for now.

10 Likes

Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by yeyeosoronga: 6:28am On Jul 29
michlins:
The way people will quickly say they are depressed is what I hate. Small thing person go say s/he is depressed as if it's a good thing. Let's be clear, all of us are going through something. A depressed person doesn't know they are depressed. Having suicidal thoughts doesn't make you depressed. We have all wished we die at some point in one predicament or another

Suicidal thoughts are a major symptom of depression that shouldn't be joked with.
Stop downplaying it.

1 Like

Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by michlins(m): 6:33am On Jul 29
yeyeosoronga:


Suicidal thoughts are a major symptom of depression that shouldn't be joked with.
Stop downplaying it.
read again. I said at some point we all have wished we dead. When you start feeling emptiness and void that's when you should worry
Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by ifyalways(f): 8:02am On Jul 29
Please go for family planning, very important.

You dont have any skill? Hair/dress making etc ?

Mehn, na wao. Sha be strong, for the sake of the three children.

13 Likes

Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by rayrex(f): 5:59pm On Jul 29
babythug:



Your plight is dire and I feel for you!

I wish I had the capacity to immediately assist but what I can offer you for now is this

1. Focus on the positives i.e you have life and are in good health.
2. List what your qualifications are here someone may be able to assist
3. What petty business can you do? Selling snacks, pure water?
think deeply and i assure you, you can squeeze water out of this rock
Thanx,i am a graduate from Uniport,read English and letirary stidies(B.A)…
Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by boldx(m): 6:59pm On Jul 29
Hello madam, you can do private lesson for students. Start from talking to your church people. For God's sake, you studied English. You can look for tutorial schools and drop your CV.

Also, you can cook food and sell. Look for study centres for universities or polytechnics and take permission to sell food. You can also make solid pap in large quantities and supply to people. Corn is not expensive. Think of Okirika business, fairly used clothes. You can buy kerosene in drums and sell retail.

Brainstorm with your husband nicely on the things he can do to raise money. If you have a car, you can use it as a taxi. Tell Oga to forget salary for now. Both of you should encourage each other and step up. Miracles work better when you start doing something no matter how spiteful it is. God bless you.

10 Likes

Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by rayrex(f): 8:47pm On Jul 29
boldx:
Hello madam, you can do private lesson for students. Start from talking to your church people. For God's sake, you studied English. You can look for tutorial schools and drop your CV.

Also, you can cook food and sell. Look for study centres for universities or polytechnics and take permission to sell food. You can also make solid pap in large quantities and supply to people. Corn is not expensive. Think of Okirika business, fairly used clothes. You can buy kerosene in drums and sell retail.

Brainstorm with your husband nicely on the things he can do to raise money. If you have a car, you can use it as a taxi. Tell Oga to forget salary for now. Both of you should encourage each other and step up. Miracles work better when you start doing something no matter how spiteful it is. God bless you.
thanx so much i have tried so many bizness,we end up touching d profit and capital nothing to show for it at d end of d day, thats y i think job will b better
Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by boldx(m): 9:35pm On Jul 29
rayrex:
thanx so much i have tried so many bizness,we end up touching d profit and capital nothing to show for it at d end of d day, thats y i think job will b better
I beg to disagree with you. If you get a job, bless God but how long will it wait. Then set up a small scale business like making solid pap and selling to your friends and neighbors. Selling food nko. How long will you wait for a job. If you keep waiting, does that mean you will do nothing else on a small scale.

I feel for you seriously. Please you need to strategize. How many people in Nigeria have a job not minding having a job they like.

Remember you have to pay rent for your house, NEPA and water bills, feed your children and pay for their school fees.

2 Likes

Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by frozen70(f): 9:46pm On Jul 29
rayrex:
Hi,i have been depressed since on tuesday it got to a point i told God to take my life cause of d hard ship we are facing(job less mess)i am a graduate from Uniport since 2013, have been job hunting but to no avail,got married but to a man that sometimes they owe salary currently for eight months now we dont know what is called salary and we have 3 kids,pls any legit jobwith a good salary will b ok am based in PH. A friend talked about insurrance job as a market er what do yöu think she said they pay 31k,btw insurance and bank job which will b better pls advice.I want God to surprise me b4 next month which is my 27th both day.Thanx cry

Pls take it easy, it will be fine soon

Forget about any nonsense insurance job, it's nothing to write about

You can take the bank job it's more of a better job than insurance

Let hubby look for haire purchase keke and do as part time

Take a break from child bearing

God will fix all that needs fixing
Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by babythug(f): 1:43am On Jul 30
rayrex:
Thanx,i am a graduate from Uniport,read English and letirary stidies(B.A)…

Is this the best you can do in showcasing your self to potential helpers?

1 Like

Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by CanadianNaija: 1:47am On Jul 30
rayrex:
Thanx,i am a graduate from Uniport,read English and letirary stidies(B.A)…

Literary*

2 Likes

Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by GboyegaD(m): 6:05am On Jul 30
michlins:
The way people will quickly say they are depressed is what I hate. Small thing person go say s/he is depressed as if it's a good thing. Let's be clear, all of us are going through something. A depressed person doesn't know they are depressed. Having suicidal thoughts doesn't make you depressed. We have all wished we die at some point in one predicament or another

Truth be told, you are one of those who have been deceived. People know when they are depressed and it is not for you to decipher for them.

OP, you can only hold on to that which you believe and be hopeful.

4 Likes

Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by AwkaetitiBabe(f): 8:16am On Jul 30
Oluromantic:

Women easily get tired of hardship than a fowl incubating it's egg for 21 days. Before you know it now, she will start disrespecting the man as her depression get-off scheme. Then next is to threaten to leave him for one baba olowo
Naaa, she was broke and married him broke so I doubt that. Unless she starts listening to friends... Some kinda hardship can be so frustrating

1 Like

Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by AwkaetitiBabe(f): 8:17am On Jul 30
Oluromantic:

Women easily get tired of hardship than a fowl incubating it's egg for 21 days. Before you know it now, she will start disrespecting the man as her depression get-off scheme. Then next is to threaten to leave him for one baba olowo
Naaa, she was broke and married him broke so I doubt that. Unless she starts listening to friends... Some kinda hardship can be so frustrating and irritating. I pray the op gets the job. Atleast for d sake of d kids.
Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by yettymuse(f): 8:30am On Jul 30
Getting married without a means of livelihood is a death sentence! Having 3kids with no planning ...how did you do it? Your matter weak me

Sometimes when I read some posts, it just breaks my heart. You carry your two legs waka enter poverty, come drag 3 kids wey dey their own jeje for heaven to come join you again... But hey! The deed is done already.

Issokay... My 2cents...forget that certificate!

Nobody dey find job for anybody o... Forget that thing! Dust your ass and enter the street of PH.. . search for menial jobs... Waitress, cook, cleaner, housekeeper, restaurant.. Etc.
Hunger no sabi shame o.. And you see those kids so, them no send una.. Small hunger hold them and they'll 'announce' to the world.

I hope single ladies read these posts on nairaland to get sense and not just to wakapass.. If you think you want to escape poverty by hiding under the umbrella of marriage... My sister you lie!!!!!! Except of course you shine your eyes!

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Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by toni4691: 8:50am On Jul 30
rayrex:
Hi,i have been depressed since on tuesday it got to a point i told God to take my life cause of d hard ship we are facing(job less mess)i am a graduate from Uniport since 2013, have been job hunting but to no avail,got married but to a man that sometimes they owe salary currently for eight months now we dont know what is called salary and we have 3 kids,pls any legit jobwith a good salary will b ok am based in PH. A friend talked about insurrance job as a market er what do yöu think she said they pay 31k,btw insurance and bank job which will b better pls advice.I want God to surprise me b4 next month which is my 27th both day.Thanx cry
Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by toni4691: 8:51am On Jul 30
Can you send your email we need sales representative in PH
Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by GrabHisBalls(f): 10:09am On Jul 30
rayrex:
Thanx,i am a graduate from Uniport,read English and letirary stidies(B.A)…
See, let me tell you the blunt truth no one has so far on this thread. Some of you went to school 'cause others are in school. How is it that you spent 4yrs in UNIPORT studying English, but can't make a sentence void of errors? Would you employ yourself if you were an employer? You people sort and forget that after sorting, there's another world out there. That said, the course you studied doesn't really have opportunities in our clime. That could be another reason why it's hard to get a job.

My advise to you is, there are people in worse situation that are not depressed. If you don't have a skill, go learn one. You can as well meet some of your family members to raise money for any business of your choice since you're with kids I am sure they'll listen.

1 Like

Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by Raphsays: 11:50am On Jul 30
rayrex:
Hi,i have been depressed since on tuesday it got to a point i told God to take my life cause of d hard ship we are facing(job less mess)i am a graduate from Uniport since 2013, have been job hunting but to no avail,got married but to a man that sometimes they owe salary currently for eight months now we dont know what is called salary and we have 3 kids,pls any legit jobwith a good salary will b ok am based in PH. A friend talked about insurrance job as a market er what do yöu think she said they pay 31k,btw insurance and bank job which will b better pls advice.I want God to surprise me b4 next month which is my 27th both day.Thanx cry

I am sorry about what you are going through. However, you are better off than several out there.

Someone talked about private lessons, I will also advise you look into that opportunity.

From your comments, it's like you don't want to do business.
No problem, dust your certificate and get a teaching job. This is the time
to apply. It's very likely you will get a school that will need your service for summer lessons.
An added advantage is that your children will attend without paying a dime.

Take advantage of that and start applying.

When d job becomes permanent, you pay subsided rates for school fees, you get paid monthly and you can
engage in extra classes if you are not lazy.
You will definitely pull through if you think and do enough.

1 Like

Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by truthsayer009(m): 1:34pm On Jul 30
ifyalways:
Please go for family planning, very important.

You dont have any skill? Hair/dress making etc ?

Mehn, na wao. Sha be strong, for the sake of the three children.

Same reason why people say & I support, If you don't have money, don't bring a child into the world.
Just imagine if It was 1 child as opposed to 3 children?

Atleast she would have less worries.
Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by AntiMCU: 1:45pm On Jul 30
truthsayer009:


Same reason why people say & I support, If you don't have money, don't bring a child into the world.
Just imagine if It was 1 child as opposed to 3 children?

Atleast she would have less worries.
Guy do you take beer? smiley
Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by truthsayer009(m): 3:52pm On Jul 30
AntiMCU:

Guy do you take beer? smiley

Lmao yeah
Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by Oluromantic(m): 6:05pm On Jul 30
AwkaetitiBabe:
Naaa, she was broke and married him broke so I doubt that. Unless she starts listening to friends... Some kinda hardship can be so frustrating and irritating. I pray the op gets the job. Atleast for d sake of d kids.
You see what I'm talking about.. You just mis-talked. He married her when she had nothing and he didn't find her irritating but when he has nothing now, he becomes irritating. Women! The last living thing to put your trust on
Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by babyfaceafrica: 7:23pm On Jul 30
Oluromantic:

You see what I'm talking about.. You just mis-talked. He married her when she had nothing and he didn't find her irritating but when he has nothing now, he becomes irritating. Women! The last living thing to put your trust on
you have a point
Re: Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed by AwkaetitiBabe(f): 12:09am On Jul 31
Oluromantic:

You see what I'm talking about.. You just mis-talked. He married her when she had nothing and he didn't find her irritating but when he has nothing now, he becomes irritating. Women! The last living thing to put your trust on
Guy they have 2 kids now and common sense should tell you that adds more pressure. I won't put ur mentality straight, perhaps experience will teach you.

1 Like

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