Good evening all.

I just opened this thread to seek for opinion of what have been bothering my mind .

No1 .I have a baby mama staying with me for the past 6 years .We have been together for long and we live peacefully but on some occasions ,she gets on my nerve and I am the type that forgive easily couple with the fact that I love her .We ain't married yet because anytime she offends me ,it really hurt me and I keep punishing her by extending when we are going to make the coexistence official .I have a boy who is close to 3 years .

I am working as a salary earner but not getting enough pay as salary .Today ,I went to her shop .I needed #8,000 to be sent to her account to make some online payment because my ATM was not with me. I have the money as cash and my wife was to help me pay the money into her account so that I can use her card (Note that i call her wife and i do that anywhere even on social media ).My wife supposed to go to the next POS shop to pay the money into her account but she paid in #5,000 .She actually have money in her account to balance up my #8,000 but what surprised me is that when I tried to check how much she paid into her account ,I discovered a man (igbo by name ) sent #4,000 to her of recent and she still have the money in her account .I mentioned igbo because our families are not even related to igbo tribe .When I tried to hold to her phone very well ,she started dragging the phone with me .With this ,I know something was not right I just kept quiet Even till now ,I did not say anything (very unusual of me ).I later went out .I just came in now about to sleep.I rejected her dinner just now. .

No2.

I noticed for over three months now ,she have been so expert in kissing .Things we were not good at before but I didnt even raise an eyebrow about that though till now .I thought she learnt that through telemundo or whatever .I work in lagos and we live in lagos .Though sometimes,I may decide to spend 2 or 3 days at work but most times I come home everyday .

My point is that my landlord gave me 3-month quit notice and I am planning to relocate before April ending .I am thinking of not taking her along .My son is on holiday with my wife mother .I hope I will not be making a grievous mistake packing my things and leaving her behind to go back to her parent house .Anytime she offends me ,I feel so hurt and betrayed .This is someone I am owing a lot of people some money because I needed to get a shop for her and all my salary since I know her have always been spent on her and my son.Sometimes ,I send money to her relatives though I have stopped that anyway.

I plan to leave her behind and keep sending to her to take care of my son.I plan to only pick some essential items in the mini flat we presently leave .

I only want to start afresh.

omo... it is you guys that Cause problems For yourselves. Talk to her, tell her about things you observed, you and her are adults talk to her about the Money you saw and you were pissed of when she didnt add the money for you she's probably cheating might not be sexual though but shes definitely getting kinda Intimate with someone But Give her a chance to fix everything it's not easy to stay with one partner there are temptations sometimes we cross sometimes we cant resist. So oga, Talk to her fix things if she get sense she go grab and fix her path.

Take care

You lost your peace

Don't lose your life

Foolish man. You've been cohabiting with her without paying her bride price for how many years. Why won't she cheat on you when you're so unserious with her. The part where you said you normally do it as punishment is what I find particularly irritating. As if marrying you is some sort of reward. I hope she finds someone better than you when you eventually pack out and leave her. What nonsense

Confirm beyond doubt first that she cheated (is cheating) on you before making any move.

It wouldn't be fair to just up and leave her based on speculations, after being together for all these years.

LadyTianna:
Foolish man. You've been cohabiting with her without paying her bride price for how many years. Why won't she cheat on you when you're so unserious with her. The part where you said you normally do it as punishment is what I find particularly irritating. As if marrying you is some sort of reward. I hope she finds someone better than you when you eventually pack out and leave her. What nonsense

ahhh!!! chill lady, he shows her live nah besides from his write up he loves her and will marry her but things happening are making him have second doubts.

LadyTianna:
Foolish man. You've been cohabiting with her without paying her bride price for how many years. Why won't she cheat on you when you're so unserious with her. The part where you said you normally do it as punishment is what I find particularly irritating. As if marrying you is some sort of reward. I hope she finds someone better than you when you eventually pack out and leave her. What nonsense

It is ok..I am not going to be harsh on u ..

Pmedia7787:
Take care

You lost your peace

Don't lose your life

I am even fine.i have peace in abundance.

falcon01:
ahhh!!! chill lady, he shows her live nah besides from his write up he loves her and will marry her but things happening are making him have second doubts.

Oh please. Which kind of stupid love is that. He said he punishes her by extending the action of paying her bride price. Do you know the psychological implication of living as a baby mama with a man you're not married to for so many years? I honestly would not blame such a woman for trying to find a more serious suitor. He sounds so immature

ADEMALAIKA2:


I am even fine.i have peace in abundance.

Believe me, you'll lose that peace if you treat her unfairly by leaving her unjustly after keeping her all these years.

LadyTianna:


Oh please. Which kind of stupid love is that. He said he punishes her by extending the action of paying her bride price. Do you know the psychological implication of living as a baby mama with a man you're not married to for so many years? I honestly would not blame such a woman for trying to find a more serious suitor. He sounds so immature

unfortunately I don't know but it seems really awful because reading your reply I can Imagine you screaming at my face and I got really scared. OP listen to this lady she speaks Sense.

falcon01:
unfortunately I don't know but it seems really awful because reading your reply I can Imagine you screaming at my face and I got really scared. OP listen to this lady she speaks Sense.

Lol sorry jare. The thing just sounded annoying to me

falcon01:
unfortunately I don't know but it seems really awful because reading your reply I can Imagine you screaming at my face and I got really scared. OP listen to this lady she speaks Sense.

ADEMALAIKA2:


I am even fine.i have peace in abundance.

then leave her and marry the perfect creature you kept somewhere.

If you were in her shoes or she's your sister ,you'll be happy with her phantom husband.

See your mouth see my wife when to pay brideprice is like canada Visa to you. 6 whole yrs you tied someone s daughter down just to punish her. mtcheww!

LadySarah:


then leave her and marry the perfect creature you kept somewhere.

If you were in her shoes or she's your sister ,you'll be happy with her phantom husband.

See your mouth see my wife when to pay brideprice is like canada Visa to you. 6 whole yrs you tied someone s daughter down just to punish her. mtcheww!

If I dont marry her ,i will never marry .I will stay single for the rest of my life .

ADEMALAIKA2:


If I dont marry her ,i will never marry .I will stay single for the rest of my life .

By constantly postponing the traditional rites over flimsy reasons, you give the vibe that you are not wholly into her anymore and also give her no option other than to cast her net.Except she shouldnt do it under your roof.

I do not hold brief for her but understand that no human is perfect. no one not even who you tap into their marriage.

Sit her down and talk with her.You can't conclude any the igbo man until you ask her. You may be getting worked up over nothing She needs reassurance which starts by going to see her folks and until then Shes not your wife.

LadySarah:


then leave her and marry the perfect creature you kept somewhere.

If you were in her shoes or she's your sister ,you'll be happy with her phantom husband.

See your mouth see my wife when to pay brideprice is like canada Visa to you. 6 whole yrs you tied someone s daughter down just to punish her. mtcheww!

Don't blame him. It is the chicken legged woman who chose to be tied down for 6 years that you will blame. If after 2 years no sign of seriousness then any woman whose umbilical cord was not used for rituals is supposed to pack her kaya and geddifok.

ADEMALAIKA2:


If I dont marry her ,i will never marry .I will stay single for the rest of my life .

Very selfish individual. I hope the woman ditches your time wasting ass

I have only two advices, one question and a conclusion.

1st advice:
Stop calling her your wife; you deserve better. Better excitement, better conquests, better commitment, better sacrifices, better honesty.
Just consider your 6 years with her as fore-play or an Industrial Training on marriage. You're only using her to train yourself into becoming the ideal man for your real wife.

2nd advice:
No lady learns how to kiss from Telemundo.
Women learn through practice and not through visuals. Her proficiency in kissing now should also give you a clue to how devoted she is to infidelity.
Her increased secrecy and new benefactor is more than a red flag.
4k is symbolic...Most Igbo men won't send a random lady 4k unless he has or will 4rk her.

Don't feel any guilt if you don't marry her.
There is no law that says that we must marry any lady who we cohabit with or who has a baby for us.
You've done your best for her, she's even the reason you are broke and in debt.
So don't be trapped into a long journey of regret.

Question:
If you join a bus from Awka to Lagos that allows you pay upon arrival at your destination and you notice at Nkpor that the driver is not driving so fast because the shaft is faulty then this bus breaks down at Umunede but is fixed yet still moving very slowly and you truly doubt it's capability to take you safely and in time to Lagos; will you continue your trip in this bus or will you get down, use your money and look for a better bus that will give you peace of mind?

Conclusion:
Read the signs.
Dump her before she dumps you.
Shalom.

What's funny to me is the part where you said she became an expert in kissing all of a sudden.....hahahaha dude you're a comedian, so because she upped her kissing technique means something is fishy? Which do you prefer exactly, the bad kissing or the expert one? If it's the former, tell her to adjust or stop kissing her

And the part where you said any time she offends you, you punish her by delaying bride price payment, dude are immature and childish, do you expect not to have misunderstandings at all ni? Abi if you eventually marry her, what will you use to punish her if una fight since you don pay bride price, sex, food, or akagum?

I nor blame you sha, I blame the woman, she nor choose correct man to get Belle for very well, jejely pack and go, na she make mistake.

What is this one saying? Abegi, go meet her make una settle unaselves or involve family elders.

So, you have not asked her and you are asking us? You saw something you didn't understand on a woman you've been with for over 6years's phone and you prefer to ask us here. Nawa o. BTW, 6years is a long time to live with a woman and still be indecisive about what you want with her

ADEMALAIKA2:
Good evening all.

I just opened this thread to seek for opinion of what have been bothering my mind .

No1 .I have a baby mama staying with me for the past 6 years .We have been together for long and we live peacefully but on some occasions ,she gets on my nerve and I am the type that forgive easily couple with the fact that I love her .We ain't married yet because anytime she offends me ,it really hurt me and I keep punishing her by extending when we are going to make the coexistence official .I have a boy who is close to 3 years .

I am working as a salary earner but not getting enough pay as salary .Today ,I went to her shop .I needed #8,000 to be sent to her account to make some online payment because my ATM was not with me. I have the money as cash and my wife was to help me pay the money into her account so that I can use her card (Note that i call her wife and i do that anywhere even on social media ).My wife supposed to go to the next POS shop to pay the money into her account but she paid in #5,000 .She actually have money in her account to balance up my #8,000 but what surprised me is that when I tried to check how much she paid into her account ,I discovered a man (igbo by name ) sent #4,000 to her of recent and she still have the money in her account .I mentioned igbo because our families are not even related to igbo tribe .When I tried to hold to her phone very well ,she started dragging the phone with me .With this ,I know something was not right I just kept quiet Even till now ,I did not say anything (very unusual of me ).I later went out .I just came in now about to sleep.I rejected her dinner just now. .

No2.

I noticed for over three months now ,she have been so expert in kissing .Things we were not good at before but I didnt even raise an eyebrow about that though till now .I thought she learnt that through telemundo or whatever .I work in lagos and we live in lagos .Though sometimes,I may decide to spend 2 or 3 days at work but most times I come home everyday .

My point is that my landlord gave me 3-month quit notice and I am planning to relocate before April ending .I am thinking of not taking her along .My son is on holiday with my wife mother .I hope I will not be making a grievous mistake packing my things and leaving her behind to go back to her parent house .Anytime she offends me ,I feel so hurt and betrayed .This is someone I am owing a lot of people some money because I needed to get a shop for her and all my salary since I know her have always been spent on her and my son.Sometimes ,I send money to her relatives though I have stopped that anyway.

I plan to leave her behind and keep sending to her to take care of my son.I plan to only pick some essential items in the mini flat we presently leave .

I only want to start afresh.

Men that keep ladies in their houses without wedding them, you have mind o. And you have kept her for 6years, no way forward. God should just keep her alive for your sake as she's in your house. Because if anything happens to her, that's when you will know all her family members very well, both extended and nuclear.

You better isolate yourself from something that threaten your peace,
For sanity sake

ADEMALAIKA2:
,I feel so hurt and betrayed .This is someone I am owing a lot of people some money because I needed to get a shop for her and all my salary since I know her have always been spent on her and my son.Sometimes ,I send money to her relatives though I have stopped that anyway..

Do you now understand the truth in this word, " women deserve less".

op listen carefully, there is a philosophy I usually use. ask yourself these questions
1. will you allow someone to cohabit with your daughter or sister for 6years without paying her bride price?

2.will you be happy if someone else uses cohabit with your daughter or sister and the person will find a good excuse to work away after 6years

in conclusion,treat ladies the way you want your daughter or sister to be treated. remember, what you sow ,you reap.

there is no perfect woman in this world. you will never find one even if you try.
Any man who have peace in his or her home,must have been a forgiven person. if you say that lady is not good anymore,don't worry, God will visit her with a better person than you and guess what, you may never find someone that is as good as her.

u are indirectly saying your wife is cheating, I pity because the worst relationship advice usually come from men in nairaland. they will lambast your wife.
go to your wife, speak calmly with her, she will tell you everything. act friendly. don't act like a boss. act like you care. May you locate wisdom in your word

So what is stopping these people from communicating? You saw alert from an Igbo name and you already thinking negatively?

I have alerts from different humans who have never seen my pant talk more of anything and it means nothing. Affairs that can be easily sorted out, you wanna dump.

@Op who d fvck u wanna dump a Pucci you've fvcked for 6 years? Weak Coward.

Swissheart:
So, you have not asked her and you are asking us? You saw something you didn't understand on a woman you've been with for over 6years and you prefer to ask us here. Nawa o. BTW, 6years is a long time to live with a woman and still be indecisive about what you want with her

Are you minding the wicked fellow

She is not your wife before tradition nor the law of Nigeria, so stop using the word wife.

Just pray nothing happens to her while cohabiting with her.

She is not your wife, just a baby mama bro and for many years you haven't done what she expects of you which is define the relationship.

If she decides to have a plan B for herself at this time, I may not really blame her that much. I will advise my daughter, my sister or female friend to do the same in her shoes.

This is my unbiased opinion.

My advice is that you don't need to leave her behind when you move. Have a heart to heart discussion with her and if things won't work out, part ways amicably.

Be a man and define your relationship with her to give her sense of responsibility, restore her dignity and respect in this society that disrespects baby mamas.

LadyTianna:
Foolish man. You've been cohabiting with her without paying her bride price for how many years. Why won't she cheat on you when you're so unserious with her. The part where you said you normally do it as punishment is what I find particularly irritating. As if marrying you is some sort of reward. I hope she finds someone better than you when you eventually pack out and leave her. What nonsense

God bless you, shame on the lady too. Maybe she doesn't have any relatives or friends to advise her. I just pray that she finds a better man for her wasted years

:Take careYou lost your peaceDon't lose your lifeI am even fine.i have peace in abundance.