Good day nairalanders. I have decided to come here for advice and way forward because I know we have both intelligent people and professionals here. Our marriage officially clocked 10 years recently and it has experienced ups and downs, break ups, separation( for close to 3 years). We came together last year and it's over a year now that we have been living together. Though I come home every 3 months from the north where I worked to check my family. Recently I got a transfer back home and now come home from work from a neighboring city every weekend to see them. The problem I heard with my wife is more of a spiritual thing which she now admitted was anchored by her mother. since 2015 up till now no sex between me and my wife, we do all other things together like planing, praying and stuff. I even open a shop worth over 300k for her but, with all these no intimacy between us. she separated our rooms before the separation and now that she is back again, she still don't want us to share an intimate moment with our different rooms. The marriage is blessed with two lovely girls and they are doing great in their academics. What do i do to fix this? Please help a brother in pain.

use her for money ritual. can use the money to make her mother happy.

Oga, I have to let you know that you really messed up by allowing your wife stay far away from you. You come home to see your family once in three months, that is four times in a year and from this fact i can point out that you spend less than a total of 60 days with your family out of the 365 days in a year. That is too poor, you really messed up i must tell you.


90% of long distance relationships are always doomed as a result of many factors the chief among them being infidelity. Do you expect your wife to believe that you weren't banging any woman up north to cool off the stress of life...after all, body no be firewood. You are even lucky that you didn't come back to meet your wife pregnant for another man.


It seems your wife had to make up for your absence by finding a person who lubricates her p**sy to prevent it from rusting since you were not always around to perform your marital duty.


I advise you to sit your wife down, talk to her and let he tell you what her problem really is. If after that you can't still make a head way then take the case to your in laws and spiritual leaders pastors, priests, imams e.t.c. If they are still unable to talk some senses into her, then baba you go and get yourself a s*x toy. You see, life is too short to be bothered. This is the best i can tell you.

Start buying Spanish fly and dropping it in her food. When the kongy hook her, she will come to you.
Or you can run to court for a order..
Now seriously, the union is as good as dead when there is no intimacy after a seperation.

Fvck is what brings and endears partners to each other..

Now how can a man be a good husband when fvck isn't given by the wife..

Ladies please stop underestimating the influence of fvck in building a solid relationship...

Advice for all the husbands and aspiring husbands out there___don't fvck your wife gently, fvck her rough and hard.. Don't pity them bcoz your dïck is not capable of causing any damage to her womanhood.. Don't forget your baby which was bigger than your dïck came out of that place..

Haven't y'all noticed that whenever you wound your babe well with your dick, they are always down to earth and respectful and always readily ready to be refvcked..

If she will agree to go with you on an evening outing, u can engage her in discussion. Use her love language to get her to open up . Tell her how you feel and let her know u value her.
the lord will sort both of u out.

Don't give up..

SUPERPACK:
use her for money ritual. can use the money to make her mother happy.

Disregard this.

Walk to any pharmacy. Ask for Spanish fly. Always put it in her food/drink and watch her rape you

Vision4God:
If she will agree to go with you on an evening outing, u can engage her in discussion. Use her love language to get her to open up . Tell her how you feel and let her know u value her.
the lord will sort both of u out.

Don't give up..

Thank you so much for your matured advice. I will definitely heed to your advice

Ahmed0336:

Disregard this.

Walk to any pharmacy. Ask for Spanish fly. Always put it in her food/drink and watch her rape you

disregard this.
never use sex enhancement drugs, the side effects is usually too bad, better try to see a psychologist instead. ���

Ahmed0336:

Disregard this.

Walk to any pharmacy. Ask for Spanish fly. Always put it in her food/drink and watch her rape you

Are you for real? Sanish fly? But i prefer she relate with me in full consciousness. Not by drugging her.

Kingosytex:
Oga, I have to let you know that you really messed up by allowing your wife stay far away from you. You come home to see your family once in three months, that is four times in a year and from this fact i can point out that you spend less than a total of 60 days with your family out of the 365 days in a year. That is too poor, you really messed up i must tell you.


90% of long distance relationships are always doomed as a result of many factors the chief among them being infidelity. Do you expect your wife to believe that you weren't banging any woman up north to cool off the stress of life...after all, body no be firewood. You are even lucky that you didn't come back to meet your wife pregnant for another man.


It seems your wife had to make up for your absence by finding a person who lubricates her p**sy to prevent it from rusting since you were not always around to perform your marital duty.


I advise to sit your wife down, talk to her and let he tell you what her problem really is. If after that you can't still make a head way then take the case to your in laws and spiritual leaders pastors, priests, imams e.t.c. If they are still unable to talk some senses into her, then baba you go and get yourself a s*x toy. You see, life is too short to be bothered. This is the best i can tell you.

Thank you so for being blunt. I admit the fact that I used to come home from the north in every 3 month, but brother it was not deliberate because of the cost. How much am i earning where i work. But those are past tenses now. i appreciate your advice and i will really work on it.

Kingosytex:
Oga, I have to let you know that you really messed up by allowing your wife stay far away from you. You come home to see your family once in three months, that is four times in a year and from this fact i can point out that you spend less than a total of 60 days with your family out of the 365 days in a year. That is too poor, you really messed up i must tell you.


90% of long distance relationships are always doomed as a result of many factors the chief among them being infidelity. Do you expect your wife to believe that you weren't banging any woman up north to cool off the stress of life...after all, body no be firewood. You are even lucky that you didn't come back to meet your wife pregnant for another man.


It seems your wife had to make up for your absence by finding a person who lubricates her p**sy to prevent it from rusting since you were not always around to perform your marital duty.


I advise you to sit your wife down, talk to her and let he tell you what her problem really is. If after that you can't still make a head way then take the case to your in laws and spiritual leaders pastors, priests, imams e.t.c. If they are still unable to talk some senses into her, then baba you go and get yourself a s*x toy. You see, life is too short to be bothered. This is the best i can tell you.

Come, how old are you? Do you think job falls from heaven? You think if the man has a job nearby he wouldn't accept it with outstretched arms?
Or you want him to resign and come home and sit at watch his wife with empty pockets. My friend, try and stay jobless/ broke and see your once loving wife turn to a mean, nagging machine as bills pile up.
Its obvious the man has sought out plans to move closer home.
Now @the poster. There Are a lot of immature and stewpid folks on this forum. However, try and weed out the useless advice you will get here ( majority)
Its not easy to be in your shoes. Have you asked her what's the reason behind this action? What was her response? Let's start from there

Putting Spanish fly in her food/drink is just a temporary measure. After the act, what next? Everything returns to status quo, problem still remains. Tackle this from the root pls.
Good luck brother

nams77:

Come, how old are you? Do you think job falls from heaven? You think if the man has a job nearby he wouldn't accept it with outstretched arms?
Or you want him to resign and come home and sit at watch his wife with empty pockets. My friend, try and stay jobless/ broke and see your once loving wife turn to a mean, nagging machine as bills pile up.
Its obvious the man has sought out plans to move closer home.
Now @the poster. There Are a lot of immature and stewpid folks on this forum. However, try and weed out the useless advice you will get here ( majority)
Its not easy to be in your shoes. Have you asked her what's the reason behind this action? What was her response? Let's start from there

Putting Spanish fly in her food/drink is just a temporary measure. After the act, what next? Everything returns to status quo, problem still remains. Tackle this from the root pls.
Good luck brother

I saw d comments I didn't want to reply the guy who was saying u see ur wife only 3 times in a month,
my question for dat guy is men dat travel outside the shore of this country to make sure their wife is finicially stable and investment plans are going smoothly becus of old age, and his kids gets the best education in 9ja, are those men fools, the question way u ask am how old is he is very good,

will u sacrifice ur wife happiness and sit in one industry around ur state and b paid peanut dat can't even pay bills or ur kids not driven from sch becus of school fees, ,and don't forget d moment ur wife see u finish ,ur kids go see u finish too,

I tell ladies I date can u endure, becus I might not b around u all d time, what more can a man give to a woman (wife) if not a better life and a financially stable home,fuvk is good but na fuvk u wan chop,

if u see how poverty don destroy homes for 9ja, Ugo surprise

nams77:

Come, how old are you? Do you think job falls from heaven? You think if the man has a job nearby he wouldn't accept it with outstretched arms?
Or you want him to resign and come home and sit at watch his wife with empty pockets. My friend, try and stay jobless/ broke and see your once loving wife turn to a mean, nagging machine as bills pile up.
Its obvious the man has sought out plans to move closer home.
Now @the poster. There Are a lot of immature and stewpid folks on this forum. However, try and weed out the useless advice you will get here ( majority)
Its not easy to be in your shoes. Have you asked her what's the reason behind this action? What was her response? Let's start from there

Putting Spanish fly in her food/drink is just a temporary measure. After the act, what next? Everything returns to status quo, problem still remains. Tackle this from the root pls.
Good luck brother

Wisdom has nothing to do with age and the earlier you get that into your skull, the better for you. I am sure you aren't the Op and i am equally sure that i didn't mention you so why quote me to pour your frustrations on me as if i am responsible for the Op's predicament?


I expected you to counter the possible causes of the problems i listed rather than throwing tantrums like a child. Learn to respect people's views, its an advice.

Kingosytex:


Wisdom has nothing to do with age and the earlier you get that into your skull, the better for you. I am sure you aren't the Op and i am equally sure that i didn't mention you so why quote me to pour your frustrations on me as if i am responsible for the Op's predicament?


I expected you to counter the possible causes of the problems i listed rather than throwing tantrums like a child. Learn to respect people's views, its an advice.

Your first paragraph sounded childish so i had to correct you. I wont dignify you again with a response as this one right here will suffice.
Have a great evening

nams77:

Your first paragraph sounded childish so i had to correct you. I wont dignify you again with a response as this one right here will suffice.
Have a great evening

You have been noticed, you can crawl back to your hut.

So you've not had sex at all for 4years.
Cool story

you're licensed to bring in another wife bro

I sympathize with you. Try n be playful and woo her back. I think she has zeroed u as a sex partner out for now. Act like those konji restless boys and watch things change.

I Dont understand you.Did the mother lock up her v Or gummed her legs together?What does She say when You meet her?
Lock up the f..ucking other room and let her join You in urs. .By the Time both of You slug it out on the bed,the acclaimed bond will be broken!
How have You serviced urdelf this yrs??Nawaooo

nams77:

Come, how old are you? Do you think job falls from heaven? You think if the man has a job nearby he wouldn't accept it with outstretched arms?
Or you want him to resign and come home and sit at watch his wife with empty pockets. My friend, try and stay jobless/ broke and see your once loving wife turn to a mean, nagging machine as bills pile up.
Its obvious the man has sought out plans to move closer home.
Now @the poster. There Are a lot of immature and stewpid folks on this forum. However, try and weed out the useless advice you will get here ( majority)
Its not easy to be in your shoes. Have you asked her what's the reason behind this action? What was her response? Let's start from there

Putting Spanish fly in her food/drink is just a temporary measure. After the act, what next? Everything returns to status quo, problem still remains. Tackle this from the root pls.
Good luck brother

Bless you brother. Your matured and intelligent response is unparallel. I have not taken time to ask her, i am still giving us ample time to get us more familiar to ourselves, besides, we equally have many things to do in the family that are important also. I just acquired a piece of land that we just started building on and right now she wants to further her education, but because of the sensitivity of the issue at stake that is why i am soliciting for people's advice. Out there are temptations, in fact, some husband - searching ladies will even prefer they are your second wife somewhere else.

lalopeto:
Bless you brother. Your matured and intelligent response is unparallel. I have not taken time to ask her, i am still giving us ample time to get us more familiar to ourselves, besides, we equally have many things to do in the family that are important also. I just acquired a piece of land that we just started building on and right now she wants to further her education, but because of the sensitivity of the issue at stake that is why i am soliciting for people's advice. Out there are temptations, in fact, some husband - searching ladies will even prefer they are your second wife somewhere else.

Thank you. My brother women are a complex being, you can never really fathom the depth of their emotions. Little and inconsequential things can sometimes be blown to monumental proportions.
How is her response to you? Is it cordial and friendly or does she show resentment at your presence?
I will still advice that you find a good time, when she is happy ( u can create that), and calmly, lovingly find out what's wrong. Sometimes women want to know that they are desired, appreciated and loved. Even if you say it a million times, they never get tired of hearing it and may even pick offense if you stop.
Compliments her, her clothes, shoes , hair, cooking. Listen to her. Show interest in her issues/ education and i pray these and much more re-ignite the spark in your lives. Shalom

In addition to what has been said try and put your best foot forward as per romance.

You also don’t seem to really prioritise intimacy in that regard, I deduce this from you saying “na fbck we go chop” to buttress your point in an earlier comment up there! That’s not the right attitude! That level of intimacy is what ideally keeps many marriages together!

For many women intimacy requires an actual work up.

You can increase your calls and texts to her just generally checking on her well being and what nots. Send recharge card and add that you’re thinking of her.

Take her out on a date - even if to a nearby joint to buy malt.

Buy her whatever type of gift you can afford- suya , meat pie even biscuits just little tokens to show you care.

Then Start off with hugs- on your way out, when you get back home, randomly around the house . Little by little you’d get back to your intimacy levels and so on!

Commit it into prayers too, nothing that God cannot help with.

Marriage is something else

nams77:

Thank you. My brother women are a complex being, you can never really fathom the depth of their emotions. Little and inconsequential things can sometimes be blown to monumental proportions.
How is her response to you? Is it cordial and friendly or does she show resentment at your presence?
I will still advice that you find a good time, when she is happy ( u can create that), and calmly, lovingly find out what's wrong. Sometimes women want to know that they are desired, appreciated and loved. Even if you say it a million times, they never get tired of hearing it and may even pick offense if you stop.
Compliments her, her clothes, shoes , hair, cooking. Listen to her. Show interest in her issues/ education and i pray these and much more re-ignite the spark in your lives. Shalom

Alright bro, I will continue to try. I really appreciate your advice, its noted

Richy4:
My brother, I am not an expert in this kinda situation but in my humbly opinion, U have started pretty well by opening Business and all in terms of empowering her Financially...

You prayed together, do everything together.. That to me is a positive development if you ask me.. The thing is that you have been away throughout this relationship.. which was not any of your fault.. what u did is referred to as a man got to do what a man got to do... I got your back on that.. Do not beat yourself up.. You did nothing wrong in that aspect.

u want to have a normal relationship just like any other couple, just maybe Courtship is what might save it. Do it as a challenge... "act" as if you were courting her again for the second time.. Can you remember and do those things you did 10 years ago that made her came running to you?, maybe it is time to rekindle the spark and Fire u guys used to have .. romantic text message, Dinner once in a while in a Restaurant.. a time alone somewhere in a park without the children.. etc.. It's not compulsory that it must cost money..

FYI no one is too old for love/ Romance..just give it a go. there's no harm in trying.. Since we are all doing some suggestion here, if it doesn't work u try another..

Bless you bro. Your advice is worth considering, you guys are wonderful and amazing. Thanks. Long live NAIRALAND. I will definitely work on the advice. I pray it works.

Maybe you can raise it as a prayer point one day when both of you are praying. I am not joking o

lalopeto:
Good day nairalanders. I have decided to come here for advice and way forward because I know we have both intelligent people and professionals here. Our marriage officially clocked 10 years recently and it has experienced ups and downs, break ups, separation( for close to 3 years). We came together last year and it's over a year now that we have been living together. Though I come home every 3 months from the north where I worked to check my family. Recently I got a transfer back home and now come home from work from a neighboring city every weekend to see them. The problem I heard with my wife is more of a spiritual thing which she now admitted was anchored by her mother. since 2015 up till now no sex between me and my wife, we do all other things together like planing, praying and stuff. I even open a shop worth over 300k for her but, with all these no intimacy between us. she separated our rooms before the separation and now that she is back again, she still don't want us to share an intimate moment with our different rooms. The marriage is blessed with two lovely girls and they are doing great in their academics. What do i do to fix this? Please help a brother in pain.

You can proof me wrong if you have seen any long distance relationship that worked according to what you put down here.
You don't need a visionary to tell you that your wife need someone that can be put oil inside her vagina when you are away for months before visiting again.
Call her attention in the bedroom, you must first apologize to her for starving her sexually because she is human and she has sexual feelings too.
The major reasons for the ups and downs is because she needed you emotionally and physically too but you are not there.
When she needs you to have sex with her you are not there.
When she needs you to romance her and probably tell her how beautiful and charming she is you are not there.
These things affected your Marriage and you should be responsible for it and fix it.

Apologize to her for starving her and then beg her that you have totally come back to be with her.
Don't ask her to confess anything to you because the confession may destroy your Marriage forever
If she didn't change for good, then involve her family and your family, but don't forget to be very close with someone that she always listen to in her family.

You can also read to be in a healthy and Thriving Marriage.
https://allsinglesandmarried..com/2019/08/how-to-be-in-healthy-and-thriving.html?m=1

djoe21:
Maybe you can raise it as a prayer point one day when both of you are praying. I am not joking o

lol lol lol laugh laugh laugh!!!!. Very funny but makes a whole lot of sense. Hmmm.... Wonderful, I love this and I will try it one day. Thanks ehn.

Allsingles:


You can proof me wrong if you have seen any long distance relationship that worked according to what you put down here.
You don't need a visionary to tell you that your wife need someone that can be put oil inside her vagina when you are away for months before visiting again.
Call her attention in the bedroom, you must first apologize to her for starving her sexually because she is human and she has sexual feelings too.
The major reasons for the ups and downs is because she needed you emotionally and physically too but you are not there.
When she needs you to have sex with her you are not there.
When she needs you to romance her and probably tell her how beautiful and charming she is you are not there.
These things affected your Marriage and you should be responsible for it and fix it.

Apologize to her for starving her and then beg her that you have totally come back to be with her.
Don't ask her to confess anything to you because the confession may destroy your Marriage forever
If she didn't change for good, then involve her family and your family, but don't forget to be very close with someone that she always listen to in her family.

You can also read to be in a healthy and Thriving Marriage.
https://allsinglesandmarried..com/2019/08/how-to-be-in-healthy-and-thriving.html?m=1

Hmm.. I don't starve her. You see when the going was still good she was the one that normally complains that my wahala too much for inside room. Na fire make cray fish bend.I just relayed 30% of our marriage story to you. Nevertheless, I do appreciate your advice and now that I am back home I will start my wahala again when we resume intimacy by the grace of God. Thanks

lalopeto:
Hmm.. I don't starve her. You see when the going was still good she was the one that normally complains that my wahala too much for inside room. Na fire make cray fish bend.I just relayed 30% of our marriage story to you. Nevertheless, I do appreciate your advice and now that I am back home I will start my wahala again when we resume intimacy by the grace of God. Thanks

Please make her to see reason why sex is good for you guys and also good for your healths.
See it here
https://allsinglesandmarried..com/2019/08/the-untold-health-benefit-of-having-sex.html?m=1