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Help Her Make Decision On Name Change. - Family - Nairaland

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Help Her Make Decision On Name Change. by Marcofranz(m): 9:33am On Sep 08, 2019
Good day nairalanders,
I have a cousin "A single mother" who's struggling to make ends meet.

She met a man sometime last year who proposed marriage but on the condition that the child should adopt his name.

Right now she is in a fix as her parents won't agree to that kind of arrangement.

The child is over ten years. She said she could change the name for now, but if the child wants to get a passport or an external exam , she could change it. But I fear there might be future implications as the biological father of the child might come looking for his child one day. It's a very delicate issue , please help her make a right decision.
Re: Help Her Make Decision On Name Change. by efighter: 9:42am On Sep 08, 2019
Marcofranz:
Good day nairalanders,
I have a cousin "A single mother" who's struggling to make ends meet.

She met a man sometime last year who proposed marriage but on the condition that the child should adopt his name.

Right now she is in a fix as her parents won't agree to that kind of arrangement.

The child is over ten years. She said she could change the name for now, but if the child wants to get a passport or an external exam , she could change it. But I fear there might be future implications as the biological father of the child might come looking for his child one day. It's a very delicate issue , please help her make a right decision.

My brother, it's no issue. A child can bear any name, but the DNA the child carries is that of the biological father. No matter what name the child bears, the biological father can lay claim anytime.

But, I think the new suitor is very selfish and criminally minded to request that someone's else child should bear his (new suitor) name. God will help our women.

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Re: Help Her Make Decision On Name Change. by babyfaceafrica: 9:51am On Sep 08, 2019
one of the reasons most men don't marry single mothers, baggages!!,the child and the father..complications,!

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Re: Help Her Make Decision On Name Change. by Marcofranz(m): 9:54am On Sep 08, 2019
efighter:


My brother, it's no issue. A child can bear any name, but the DNA the child carries is that of the biological father. No matter what name the child bears, the biological father can lay claim anytime.

But, I think the new suitor is very selfish and criminally minded to request that someone's else child should bear his (new suitor) name. God will help our women.

I'm just confused about the whole issue as the said man has about 6 kids . What if the marriage didn't work out .
Re: Help Her Make Decision On Name Change. by mankettle(m): 10:22am On Sep 08, 2019
Someone wants to legally adopt a child and you are worried about a deadbeat dad? What you should tell her is, if the man is serious let him legally adopt the child as he is getting married to her.

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Re: Help Her Make Decision On Name Change. by Kendumazy(m): 10:53am On Sep 08, 2019
Very wise man. Ask your cousin what she told the man about the father of her son. The man made the decision probably from that.

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Re: Help Her Make Decision On Name Change. by sisisioge: 11:17am On Sep 08, 2019
Well...this is quite simple.

Once the lady gets married and the new husband is truly interested in adopting and sponsoring her child, there is no issues on doing that. Let's draw up the paper work and get all required consent. Issue resolved.

As for the child, if he or she then wants to change in the future, that's ok. This happened to someone very close to me. She wasn't adopted formally through and step father wasn't a wonderful father to her. What she did was to change it when crossing to SS1 without informing them at home. So she wrote the waec in her preferred name and continued to bear her preferred name till she finished from the university. In the end, it is just a name...it doesn't really change who we truly are.
Re: Help Her Make Decision On Name Change. by yeyeosoronga: 12:10pm On Sep 08, 2019
Marcofranz:


I'm just confused about the whole issue as the said man has about 6 kids . What if the marriage didn't work out .

Where is the father of that boy? Does he know he has a son somewhere? Why hasn't he asked after his child, and why hasn't his family asked after their blood? 10 years is more than enough time to give a man the chance to lay claim to his son.
If the step dad wants to adopt him legally, and treat him like his own I see no problem with that. If the new dad shows him enough love, affection and paves way for better opportunities for him, the boy will be more than proud to bear his name.
If however the stepdad is wicked to him, nothing will stop the boy from reverting back to his old name once he's of age.
Re: Help Her Make Decision On Name Change. by frozen70(f): 9:04pm On Sep 10, 2019
Marcofranz:
Good day nairalanders,
I have a cousin "A single mother" who's struggling to make ends meet.

She met a man sometime last year who proposed marriage but on the condition that the child should adopt his name.

Right now she is in a fix as her parents won't agree to that kind of arrangement.

The child is over ten years. She said she could change the name for now, but if the child wants to get a passport or an external exam , she could change it. But I fear there might be future implications as the biological father of the child might come looking for his child one day. It's a very delicate issue , please help her make a right decision.

If the man wants to change the child's surname to bear his own name, will he change the child's blood group or genotype ❓

She should stop allowing hi. to put her in a tight corner for reason's best known to him

He should birth his own biological child and that's it

Why can't he be a proud step dad ❓

Anyway if he insist, he should adopt the child legally

If your sister changes his name now and when getting his passport she will revert to his original name

Then when he wants to do waec, the child will bear the mother's maiden name, making the child to have multiple surnames ❓

Well the biological father will take it up from any where they start
Re: Help Her Make Decision On Name Change. by Nobody: 2:16am On Sep 11, 2019
Changing her son's last name to his is something she should want to do on her own, not be pressured nor forced into doing. If she and her parents are hesitant to change the name, they should listen to their intuition and not proceed.

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