The position of headship is not a privilege to do as you deem fit: it is a call to lead your home to righteousness, train your children and be a godly example. A man who cannot boldly say 'follow me as I follow Christ' has failed as the head. After all, it is the duty of the husband to wash his wife clean. Is he going to do that with hands stained with adultery, pride, hatred, gross irresponsibility, lack of provision, lies, spiritual darkness and malice amongst others?

Even the role of training children is the fathers' hence God did not question Eli's wife when the children were unruly.

As per provision, apart from financial provision (where they decide what they want), it is the duty of the husband to lead his family to Christ through prayers, teaching the word, his stainless conduct, constant discipline (in love) so they are not frustrated and impeccable attitude. He should also provide emotional stability, mental stability and his genuine show of love which will naturally boost the family's self esteem.

He should also be able to provide sound advice and decisions for the good of the home.

He also provides security of love, affection etc. which helps their emotional growth.

A true head is also trustworthy as that is the only way his wife can fully submit to him.

A wife should submit to her husband, yes. This submission (putting him first) is in response to his love as st(putting her first) . The kind of sacrificial love a husband is expected to have towards his wife and family, only her submission /respect/love/ putting him first would be a balance for it.

This strange cultural expectation where the wife is the spiritual pillar, moral pillar and financial pillar of the home making men figureheads that has crept into the church MUST be destroyed. That is actually what keeps destroying our homes and children turning out wayward.

If you want to go cultural, go cultural. But if you claim to be the head biblically, better be ready to do what He expects of you.

The demonic practice of women running about praying for men who should give them peace and be their priests is just that, demonic.

Nowhere was it recorded that amongst godly households, the wives were running about praying for their husbands.

The ones recorded praying did it together.

liberalchick:
I can’t relate to most of what you wrote on your post but I agree that fathers shouldn’t give up on knowing their children because the mother is bad. 1. Choose someone suitable to be the mother of your children 2. Give your all to know your kids.

lagosminded:
Is this a reply to that other crazy thread? If it is, it wouldn’t be effective getting your message across because this only applies to Christians. Anyways, it’s your post let me mind my business.

bukatyne:


Emmmmmmmmmmm

Not a direct response.

Look at it more like the duty of fathers.

lagosminded:


I agree with you 100%. I was just saying the quickest way people on NL find loopholes in arguments is through religion. If you make ur post neutral, there wouldn’t be excuses like “this is for Christians”.

Cutehector:
What is this

bukatyne:
So I posted the below on a thread some months back and have always debated within myself if I should make it a thread. I saw a thread on 'some mothers manipulating their kids to believe their fathers are deadbeat' so I decided to open the thread.

A man is the head of the home hence linages are mostly traced on the patrilinearly.

A man finds the woman he wants to build a home with, share common vision etc.

I am sure that is where the agreement of our definition of headship ends.

I do not understand the unquestionable demigod persona Nigerian people keep painting in alignment of the Bible.

All through the Bible, not once did I see a man take a decision alone and the one person not sure ( same Abraham we all parrot) asked God what he should do.

The position of headship is not a privilege to do as you deem fit: it is a call to lead your home to righteousness, train your children and be a godly example. A man who cannot boldly say 'follow me as I follow Christ' has failed as the head. After all, it is the duty of the husband to wash his wife clean. Is he going to do that with hands stained with adultery, pride, hatred, gross irresponsibility, lack of provision, lies, spiritual darkness and malice amongst others?

Even the role of training children is the fathers' hence God did not question Eli's wife when the children were unruly.

As per provision, apart from financial provision (where they decide what they want), it is the duty of the husband to lead his family to Christ through prayers, teaching the word, his stainless conduct, constant discipline (in love) so they are not frustrated and impeccable attitude. He should also provide emotional stability, mental stability and his genuine show of love which will naturally boost the family's self esteem.

He should also be able to provide sound advice and decisions for the good of the home.

He also provides security of love, affection etc. which helps their emotional growth.

A true head is also trustworthy as that is the only way his wife can fully submit to him.

A wife should submit to her husband, yes. This submission (putting him first) is in response to his love as st(putting her first) . The kind of sacrificial love a husband is expected to have towards his wife and family, only her submission /respect/love/ putting him first would be a balance for it.

This strange cultural expectation where the wife is the spiritual pillar, moral pillar and financial pillar of the home making men figureheads that has crept into the church MUST be destroyed. That is actually what keeps destroying our homes and children turning out wayward.

If you want to go cultural, go cultural. But if you claim to be the head biblically, better be ready to do what He expects of you.

The demonic practice of women running about praying for men who should give them peace and be their priests is just that, demonic.

Nowhere was it recorded that amongst godly households, the wives were running about praying for their husbands.

The ones recorded praying did it together.

Every man proclaim of his own faithfulness:a faithful man, who can find?


I know this addresses a husband and father however, the focus is on fatherhood.

If a man plays the role of a father as he should, it would be near impossible for his wife/ex to paint him bad.

LordKO:
The following assertion can only hold true if the woman is sane, content and humble; "If a man plays the role of a father as he should, it would be near impossible for his wife/ex to paint him bad." - a subjugator/one who's penchant for subjugation can never be satiable.

Meanwhile, headship veto remains infinite provided that the holder remains alive and lives above expediency. Headship/spiritual head is all about living on principle rather than expediency (living at the periphery of expediency) - a head/leader is one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way. So, I don't agree with this "I am sure that is where the agreement of our definition of headship ends." - provided that the aforementioned standard remains sacrosanct on his part. Failure to acknowledge infiniteness of headship in this regard is a recipe for disharmony.

On "the unquestionable demigod persona Nigerian people keep painting in alignment of the Bible." It's little or nothing to do with one's worldview/religious leaning, but it's everything to do with one's mental state in particular and ethical leanings in general - spiritualism remains different from religion. The biblical record of the character "Christ Jesus" was that of a principled entity rather than a religious one.

In summary:

- Goodness (love and submissiveness) can't mutually take place where insanity, greed and conceitedness are present in the life of either one or both parties.

- Toxicity/subjugation knows no gender.

- Self-conquest (of the listed vices) is the only recipe for harmony - mutual goodness breeds harmony.

missjo:

Sir do you know the meaning of effective communication?

missjo:
You know Christians are not the only ones who get married right?

solite3:

Nice one. Most people who proclaim themselves as christians dont know what christianity is.
Being thr head of your hime as a man is a responsibility from God to men to lead in the example of Christ raising up a holy generation to God's praise.

LordKO:

1. The following assertion can only hold true if the woman is sane, content and humble; "If a man plays the role of a father as he should, it would be near impossible for his wife/ex to paint him bad." - a subjugator/one who's penchant for subjugation can never be satiable.

Meanwhile, headship veto remains infinite provided that the holder remains alive and lives above expediency. Headship/spiritual head is all about living on principle rather than expediency (living at the periphery of expediency) - a head/leader is one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way. So, I don't agree with this "I am sure that is where the agreement of our definition of headship ends." - provided that the aforementioned standard remains sacrosanct on his part. Failure to acknowledge infiniteness of headship in this regard is a recipe for disharmony.

On "the unquestionable demigod persona Nigerian people keep painting in alignment of the Bible." It's little or nothing to do with one's worldview/religious leaning, but it's everything to do with one's mental state in particular and ethical leanings in general - spiritualism remains different from religion. The biblical record of the character "Christ Jesus" was that of a principled entity rather than a religious one.

In summary:

- Goodness (love and submissiveness) can't mutually take place where insanity, greed and conceitedness are present in the life of either one or both parties.

- Toxicity/subjugation knows no gender.

- Self-conquest (of the listed vices) is the only recipe for harmony - mutual goodness breeds harmony.

bukatyne:


Yeah

This thread is not about marriage.

I would appreciate if other religions outline the duties of a father here.

missjo:
Sir do you know the meaning of effective communication?

bukatyne:


I need a dictionary for this.

The OP is a direct post I made on a thread about headship that's why some of the paragraphs would seem out of place on this thread.

For some strange reason, the bold command wasn't working in the OP so I resulted to enlarging the portion I wanted to highlight.

1. If a father provides (according to the OP) for his children, how would his embittered ex /wife badmouth him?

hify9935:
he doesn't

missjo:

The thread is not about marriage? But i did keep seeing words like headship,wife, husband, etc. tho
To be a father,one would have to be married if we are to follow your Christian values right?

LordKO:




Lol, make you no vex, as I come de look am now it come be like say I don spoil your thread, but no be my plan be dat. I hope you dey fine.

bukatyne:


I added a comment in the OP that I lifted it from my post on another thread hence I highlighted the part on fatherhood I wanted to address.

See my response to LordKO.

Even if a man gets a lady pregnant out of wedlock, he still needs to be a father to his child/children although marriage is the best platform.

bukatyne:


Hahahahahahahaha

You did not answer my question joor.

Richy4:
This Spiritual Head and Tail thing sounds more like a headache.

That is why I like the parable of the talent in the scripture. In that little passage, it was written that the Lord gave each and every one of them what they are capable of.. He gave out 5 talent; 3 talent; and 1 talent.
Any analyst could ask but why didn't he give them the same talent to level the field of play? He gave them based on what they can do...

In my opinion ( since everyone is entitled to theirs) if u are a father, forget about this label thing and work with your partner.. If she's good in taking care of the kids, don't say oh! I am the spiritual head.. blah blah blah... Just channel your energy to another aspect that can benefit the family.. If u are finding it difficult financial wise, seek help from your wife.. let her work and provide / support u.. Don't die because they said u were the spiritual head, the provider and other bla bla bla..

There are men that are "all rounder".. they can be everywhere.. and they can do all things... from praying to taking care of the kids to being a handy man. It works for them and their families.. If u are not like that, don't force yourself into doing what you cannot do in the name of being a spiritual head.. Look for what works for you and your family.. If u can't handle a toolkit, look for handyman that can fix your taps, electrical faults etc and pay them.. By doing that u have reduced your chance of finding yourself in the hospital.. u have also provided for someone whose livelihood depends on that work.
The bottom line is having a peaceful family and creating an atmosphere where children respects their parents.. and not a sergeant major's home..

If every man is gonna follow through everything written up there, I don't think a man's livespan will be up to 40 if he should marry at 29.

LabuleofNigeria:
Who doesnt want to be a good father?

The hardship and challenges faced by men in this present economy is more enough reasons most men become irrational and boycot the true role of fatherhood. Fathers/husbands in a balanced state of mind emotionally & financially knows their roles and what is right