It was in the year 2008,I couldn't believe it that I was yet to get admitted to the university after 5yrs.post secondary school. I left the secondary school in the year 2003 and having passed my Jamb and o'level,i kept picking unilorin all through the year and before I realised it I had already picked the school for solid 4yrs.
I choose to write on this article about "depression" because it's a topic most naija youth shy away from,I was an average student while in secondary and I was opportune to attend a Federal Government College so I got all the maximum exposure any unity school attendee's can relate with.Unity school's gives it student's "all round" exposure.
Three of my jamb were withheld courtesy of some student's fighting in the examination hall and things happening in other examination rooms with no fault of mine.It was a terrible experience for me and life seems to be "turningoninown"
Depression is so real, I experienced it and the taste is not good at all,like an average kid's born in the mid 80's,growing up was fun and I was quite intelligent and brilliant as well,the mid 80's kids has a blend of the old naija and the "massive transformation" of the early year 2000,we saw it all the military regime and the beginning of democracy in naija.
After two years of rounding up in the secondary school,I discovered that I was alone among my friends who is yet to be admitted, I began to loose my zeal,energy and vigour about the positivity of the future ahead.
Most of my friends felt my not getting admission was my own fault and i was physically abandon among peers,even most of the so called friend stopped talking to me because the assumption was that maybe i was an "unfortunate child" who is been paid back by the "gods" by not been admitted into the university of his choice when his secondary school colleagues are already doing there nysc.
I was a commercial student and because of the background been given to us at F.G.C going to the polytechnic was never an option,it must be a university.I would be so real with this my article and I am going to list out things I did and how I did win the battle against "depression"

(1)BUYING BOOK'S

Kids whose birthday fall's in the mid 80's would remember that learning a "trade" was not an option for us way back, why ? the assumption we were given way back was that your brain capacity is low for you to go learn any "trade" the in thing was getting into the university, study and graduate and settle for a white collar job.
After I discovered that I was always left alone at home to do the cooking, I was extremely bored,being an introvert I started saving up my cash to buy book's, I started visiting bookstore's and I became a "voracious" reader.
This was the beginning of discovering my "writing gift" every writer is a reader,and if you do not read others, nobody would ever read you" in life "the most amazing thing's could come from a terrible experience" it's not every fire in life that are meant to burn up a man,some were meant to purge a man and show him to his world.
This attitude of reading really changed me and it did make me to have about "103" personally written article all uploaded here on nairaland.If were to be I got admitted in time,i might not discover my "passion" "every negativity is always a blessing in disguise


(2)I BECAME MORE SPIRITUAL

It was my period of waiting for admission that I discovered " God " it wasn't that God was lost,but I was almost loosing my mind and I once attempt a suicide in the 5th year of the no admission experience.
I woke up in the year 2008 and went to pick up a kitchen knife and at the attempt of stabbing myself in a midnight,I heard a voice saying to my ear's "you are a fool for this attempt to kill yourself,why? you would loose the admission by dying and you would face divine judgement for taking the life that was not yours" the voice was clear,audible and fearful,I had goose pimples all over me as God speaks.
This day was the particular day I realised that our life is like a loan and we must return back to the "Creator" to give him the report of our sojourn here on earth.
I dropped the knife on the kitchen floor and went back to my room,for the atheist who argue against the "existence" of God, I am not going to argue with you,"God is alive" and so real.
The most pathetic thing was that my parent's were soundly asleep in there respective rooms and they would have just woke up the next morning and found me in the pool of my own blood, most naija parent's hardly know what is happening to there kids especially "teenager's",thou I was already in my early 20's in the year of the suicide attempt.
I can relate to any " mood swing" teenager's do experience as a result of there rapid growing up and the "battles of the mind" they do face.


(3) I SHUNNED ALL YOUTHFUL VICE'S

Thou I was a deep introvert as a secondary school student way back, I have issues with "self esteem" and I lack any faith in my own ability, parent's should watch the way they talk to there kids during there formative year's,my parent's prefer to abuse me verbally than flogging, I never knew this attitude kept destroying my "positive mechanism" which took about 15years for me to win.
Till date,I had never smoke a cigarette nor taking a bottle of alcohol before, why ? because of my introverted nature,I assumed that could it be because of many of my unconfessed sin's as a teenager in the years past was the reason God was denying me an "admission"
We can all relate because of our approach to religion in this part of Africa,the first thing we are made to believe is that "there is a sin in you and that is the reason you do have continuous failures in life" this assumption is wrong and may God deliver us and change the messages of the naija "men of God"
I have discovered something in life by studying the life of the "biblical job" he was a righteous man and the God who makes the heaven and the earth was showing him off to the devil
Listen friends, "not everybody who have bout's of negative circumstances in life are living in sin and not all who have present success are living holy" but time would surely heal all wound's someday and the truth of "life mysteries" shall be made known to all and sundry.
To be continued.............