Hello nairalanders,I have a brother who just found out his wife aborted what would have been their third child.
He is so heart broken and depressed.
She gave no reasons for doing this,instead she went to her Parent's place citing she needs to clear her head
Please any useful advise or suggestions would be appreciated.
As I speak my brother is so down never seen him in this state before.

No be your brother give am that belle.
Which head she wan clear ... She only escaped answering questions.
Men stay woke. This are evil days!

You ask how?;

When you show him the PT result and he asks "how did it happen"¿Was it not only one round ?
When the man has refused any family planning method leaving it in the hands of his fearful wife to decide alone.
Not making excuses for her though.
How is their financial state and marital life?

thats out of family planning i guess

LadySarah:
You ask how?;

When you show him the PT result and he asks "how did it happen"¿
When the man has refused any family planning method leaving it in the hands of his fearful wife to decide alone.
Not making excuses for her though.
How is their financial state and marital life?

My brother is Civil Engineer and works with a federal.parastatal,they are okay and live in a middle class neighbourhood in Ikeja. Its not finances,She equally works with a stable firm as well.

Blessedkingg:
My brother is Civil Engineer and works with a federal.parastatal,they are okay and live in a middle class neighbourhood in Ikeja. Its not finances,She equally works with a stable firm as well.

She wasnt ready for another child.

I do not know the circumstances surrounding this particular incident but there are times when a woman though married, may have to abort a pregnancy. For instance, it could be a careless conception and any pregnancy would jeopardize her health; it could be that it's too soon after a birth and she's not ready for another pregnancy; it could be that she n her hubby are AS, they do an a test and determine that a fetus is SS so they elect to terminate than bring a sickly child into the world. Perhaps she senses that her husband is not ready to Father another child or there is a domestic situation where she'd rather not be vulnerable with a pregnancy or bring a child into such toxicity.

You never really know so it's not best to judge.

Blessedkingg:
Hello nairalanders,I have a brother who just found out his wife aborted what would have been their third child.
He is so heart broken and depressed.
She gave no reasons for doing this,instead she went to her Parent's place citing she needs to clear her head
Please any useful advise or suggestions would be appreciated.
As I speak my brother is so down never seen him in this state before.

She is def having an affair outside her marriage

Not telling him about it so they can both decide on what to do together, this is the ONLY problem i can detect here.
Such things should not be kept from your husband.

I hope they can sort themselves out.

LadySarah:
You ask how?;

When you show him the PT result and he asks "how did it happen"¿
When the man has refused any family planning method leaving it in the hands of his fearful wife to decide alone.
Not making excuses for her though.
How is their financial state and marital life?

You are very biased and it's really disturbing.

You tried to make excuses for the lady's terrible decision without her husband's knowledge, using some assumed circumstances that never occurred just to justify such act.

You even went to an extent of questioning the husband's financial state.

He cleared you, yet you came up with this.

LadySarah:

She wasnt ready for another child.

Smh! You type deserves to be cheated on in your marriage.









With your HOUSEMAID.

Hmmm...

1. Are they financially able to add another mouth to the family? The woman knows what's on ground and might not want to add to their burden

2. Does the woman have help to care for the children at home and the new one? Most times when men claim allergy to house chores, the woman may not want to add to her work knowing that the "emotionally down" man now would be hands down when the work starts, leaving her to sorely do the work.

3. Is her health able to carry another baby now?

4. She may be trying to not commit a paternity fraud. E fit be say baby is not your brothers.


Meanwhile, all of these are speculations. Let's leave husband and wife to resolve their matter. May God help them and help us all.

Blessedkingg:
Hello nairalanders,I have a brother who just found out his wife aborted what would have been their third child.
He is so heart broken and depressed.
She gave no reasons for doing this,instead she went to her Parent's place citing she needs to clear her head
Please any useful advise or suggestions would be appreciated.
As I speak my brother is so down never seen him in this state before.

For you to establish that it's paternity fraud, circumstances surrounding his finding out would've been stated. I don't think that's the case. Perhaps, she wasn't ready for another child and it happened. A lot of married women undergo abortion for this reason.

mushystuff:
I do not know the circumstances surrounding this particular incident but there are times when a woman though married, may have to abort a pregnancy. For instance, it could be a careless conception and any pregnancy would jeopardize her health; it could be that it's too soon after a birth and she's not ready for another pregnancy; it could be that she n her hubby are AS, they do an a test and determine that a fetus is SS so they elect to terminate than bring a sickly child into the world. Perhaps she senses that her husband is not ready to Father another child or there is a domestic situation where she'd rather not be vulnerable with a pregnancy or bring a child into such toxicity.

You never really know so it's not best to judge.

...and nothing should stop her from informing her husband if she has a good reason for that. About the domestic situation... well. Hmmm, people get mind.

I see couples or the woman come to the hospital from time to time seeking abortion.
The bottom line is they are not ready for another baby.

I wouldn't want to site infidelity in this case,I just know your SIL doesn't want the baby.She may just not want a pregnancy at this time.It could be a career decision or health.

Whatever it is,her husband should have been in the know.They both ought to have arranged family planning in the first place if they didn't want another baby.

hify9935:
...and nothing should stop her from informing her husband if she has a good reason for that.

I was beginning to think I'm weird for having this same thought

missjo:

I was beginning to think I'm weird for having this same thought

no you're not. That's why she's called a "married woman",not some girlfriend. That's what marriage is all about. Communication matters.

hify9935:
no you're not. That's why she's called a "married woman",not some girlfriend. That's what marriage is all about. Communication matters.

Truth

[quote author=donstan18 post=82936144]
You are very biased and it's really disturbing.

You tried to make excuses for the lady's terrible decision without her husband's knowledge, using some assumed circumstances that never occurred just to justify such act.

You even went to an extent of questioning the husband's financial state.

He cleared you, yet you came up with this.




Smh! You type deserves to be cheated on in your marriage.

Mumu.









With your HOUSEMAID.[/quote

Unfortunately,i dont have a maid...

Smh for kids in this forum. What do you know about marriage?Now you guys will say she cheated on him .Divorce her bla bla bla
She wanst ready for another child.
She was wrong not to inform her husband.
Alot of married couples terminate pregnancies for alot of reasons.

OP,And why would your Uncle tell you things that should be private for both of them alone?

Sad a human life was cut short, there is always a background story known clearly by the couple.

donstan18:

You are very biased and it's really disturbing.

You tried to make excuses for the lady's terrible decision without her husband's knowledge, using some assumed circumstances that never occurred just to justify such act.

You even went to an extent of questioning the husband's financial state.

He cleared you, yet you came up with this.


Smh! You type deserves to be cheated on in your marriage.









With your HOUSEMAID.

U get tym quoting dat lady oo, all are inputs are always biased.
I dont usually waste tym reading her biased coment while reading some sensible coments here wich can change live positively

She can do worse.

And not dat she doesnt knw exactly wat to say o, she just chose to b like dat (thank God she's not our CJN)

GrabHisBalls:
For you to establish that it's paternity fraud, circumstances surrounding his finding out would've been stated. I don't think that's the case. Perhaps, she wasn't ready for another child and it happened. A lot of married women undergo abortion for this reason.

What is d narrator refuses to state those circumstances surrounding the findings??

Ogaaa no b d man get dat pikin, she just wanna escape some troubles jare, av seen many cases like dat very well.

judgeOGBUNABALI has nailed it, una go see a pointer to d truth una go ignore am.

Laslas only her vacated the house as she could not put up with d guilt.

Blessedkingg:
Hello nairalanders,I have a brother who just found out his wife aborted what would have been their third child.
He is so heart broken and depressed.
She gave no reasons for doing this,instead she went to her Parent's place citing she needs to clear her head
Please any useful advise or suggestions would be appreciated.
As I speak my brother is so down never seen him in this state before.

Reasons are best known to her but if they are relating well, she will or would have informed him about it

If she is the bread winner of the family and the burden is on her, then she needs to clear her head

But if her contributions has nothing to do in her family, then something went wrong some where

Only she and her husband can explain

She is cheating, the pregnancy was not his cos I don't see any other reason for her aborting it.

Blessedkingg:
Hello nairalanders,I have a brother who just found out his wife aborted what would have been their third child.
He is so heart broken and depressed.
She gave no reasons for doing this,instead she went to her Parent's place citing she needs to clear her head
Please any useful advise or suggestions would be appreciated.
As I speak my brother is so down never seen him in this state before.

Simple. The child is not his. Someone has been getting dicked down on the side.

A married couple can decide to abort a pregnancy that they are not ready for but my only concern is why would a woman do that without the husband's consent?On a very good the day, the doctor who did the abortion should be sued.I have a feeling also that her mum was aware of this before the deed was done.

mushystuff:
I do not know the circumstances surrounding this particular incident but there are times when a woman though married, may have to abort a pregnancy. For instance, it could be a careless conception and any pregnancy would jeopardize her health; it could be that it's too soon after a birth and she's not ready for another pregnancy; it could be that she n her hubby are AS, they do an a test and determine that a fetus is SS so they elect to terminate than bring a sickly child into the world. Perhaps she senses that her husband is not ready to Father another child or there is a domestic situation where she'd rather not be vulnerable with a pregnancy or bring a child into such toxicity.

You never really know so it's not best to judge.

And she makes the decision unilaterally? Come on, reason am we’ll. How come the husband wasn’t consulted prior to her getting an evacuation?

Hmm.

So it's fine for married couples to go through abortion but unmarried can't.

From what I'm reading here...

Your brother found out? How?

That will put things into perspective.

People have given all the possible reasons, from not being ready to paternity fraud.

If it is the latter, I think the probability of your brother finding out will be very low. More reason I would like to know how he found out.

If you don't know that many couples terminate at one point or the other then you're a kid.

My parents, although married, aborted what would have been my oldest brother because then they were so poor, according to my mom, they used to use soda soap to bathe. Drinking gari every morning and night just to stay alive. They couldn't afford to take care of themselves, let alone a baby. If your brother's financial situation is good enough, why wouldn't she keep the pregnancy? It's a blessing.

lol why would the doctor be sued? I am sure the doctor obtained an informed consent from the woman.

chii8:
A married couple can decide to abort a pregnancy that they are not ready for but my only concern is why would a woman do that without the husband's consent?On a very good the day, the doctor who did the abortion should be sued.I have a feeling also that her mum was aware of this before the deed was done.

AntiBrutus:
Your brother found out? How?

That will put things into perspective.

People have given all the possible reasons, from not being ready to paternity fraud.

If it is the latter, I think the probability of your brother finding out will be very low. More reason I would like to know how he found out.

Here is how he found out,just like he told me.
She had a pregnancy test few weeks,unknown to my brother. He only found out about the test,when he used her car and had to present vehicle papers at Akilo just before Guiness Plc,where he was stopped.
He found the test slip in the glove compartment,while sorting out the vehicle papers.
Thats exactly what he told me.