waley007:
Hi dear , my wife is a ftm and she's so scared of the whole process of giving birth , she thinks ks and cries every night now knowing that anytime from this week she will be giving birth ,more so she keeps having malaria even after just having malaria treatment in the hospital and she's in week 38, the malaria has started again, please do you have some words of advise through the whole process ... She needs those words and how to go about it .I will appreciate your response please

beeijeoma:

Sorry for not responding on time been tied up with a couple of issues. From what you typed she should have had the baby now . I don't really know why she keeps having malaria . I had malaria once in one of my pregnancies and after that I started sleeping under a mosquito net and never had it again.
As per fear it is a normal thing with every pregnant woman but excessive fear is not too good. Just try and reassure her as best as you can. As long as she is using a good hospital and she has your support with God on her side, she will be okay.

LUGBE:
Madam please do well and come back and continue with your good job.

beeijeoma:
Shopping for baby as a FTM

It is exciting to shop for baby as a FTM and it is really easy to end up buying things you don't need. I would advise buying good quality stuff as you can use them for your other kids. The items you need to buy are

1 Baby clothing
Babies experience growth spurts a couple of times in their first year of life and the standard sizing for their clothes is as follows. I buy mostly Carters and Gerber because they are of good quality and not too expense
Newborn----- I bought newborn items when I had my first and my kid wore it for 1 month before it became too small. Limit the number of items you buy 2 or 3 is fine
0 to 3 months
3 to 6 months
6 to 9 months
9 to 12 months
The items I bought are
Sleepsuits 7
Bodysuit 7
Shawl/Blanket 2 large and 2 small
Mittens 1 they keep falling off I use socks as mitten
Socks 10 to 12 I don't buy shoes till my kids are about 9 months so they wear socks a lot and socks are usually age 0 to 6 months or 0 to 12 months
Going out outfits . I buy just 4 when they are 0 to 3 months and increase the number as they get older
Hats 3
Bibs 4

Baby bath items
Baby bath invest in a strong one you can use for other kids
Towel 2
Face flannel or towel 4
Sponge 1
Baby soap . I prefer liquid soap to bar soap . Bar soap melts quickly and can become messy. Liquid also last longer . If you soap your baby in the morning and decide to give a night bath you do not need to use soap again. Using too much soap can dry out the baby's skin
Baby lotion
Baby oil
Vaseline (unscented) I use this as a barrier cream for the diaper area to prevent rashes. Use it after bathing and at every diaper change
Note do not buy baby powder the general consensus is that it can cause respiratory problems for babies

Baby feeding
Baby bottles 8 ------I buy a lot of this because I wash and sterilize all the bottles myself at the end of the day . If I am not there whoever is feeding baby just picks the bottle and use . I do this to prevent baby getting sick from bottles that are nit well sterilized
Breast pump------------------I buy manual electric is too expensive for me .
Milton sterilizing tablets/ Sterilizer----------- I buy the sterilizing tablets
Hot water flask

Baby Accessories
Baby bed -------------- Its not a necessity for me . I co sleep with my babies. It is easy this way because of bf exclusively
Baby wardrobe --------Not necessary if you have a wardrobe that has space
Baby carrier -------------Not compulsory the only time I bought it I ended up returning it to the store . I just wasn't comfortable
Baby rocker---- Its a good investment as baby can play and sleep in there
Diapers------------ Do not buy too many of the smallest size as babies overgrow them quickly. I buy just 1 box of size 1 and more of size 2 and so on
Wipes------------- Unscented is best just in case your baby has allergies
Comb-------Buy a good comb with blunt teeth . There is nothing like baby comb its usually more expensive and no different from a standard comb
Baby bag----To me this is optional I only bought with my first. Any standard bag will do. The only plus here is that the baby bags come with a changing mat which is quite useful
Push chairs / strollers---------------------------Not needed only useful if you live outside Nigeria
Car seat-------------Good if you have a car

This is just from my personal experience and it is not a comprehensive list

Emoreni:
@beeijeoma please do well to come back and continue with this good job.

beeijeoma:

Emoreni
Bros I appreciate the mention. I am so sorry . I have been trying to conclude some exams I am writing. Will be free by1st week in May and will be back in full force.

Emoreni:

Ok, success in your exams, while I anticipate your ruturn.

beeijeoma:
Today I will be looking at Contraception/Family Planning after Childbirth

Contraception or family planning is basically any means by which you prevent getting pregnant even though sex is happening regularly. There are so many different forms of contraception out there but the most important thing is finding the one that suits you. After the birth of a baby a woman looses so much in terms of blood and various mineral and vitamins. The body takes some time to get back to its pre pregnancy form and even the stress that comes from taking care of a baby makes it necessary to take some time before having another baby. The average woman is usually okay to go back to the other room six weeks after childbirth. It is expected that by this time her lochia(post pregnancy blood discharge) has stopped and any tears and bruising has healed. It is possible to get pregnant 2 months after giving birth.
Once you are back to the other room pregnancy can occur at anytime and if you don't want another kid you need to actively prevent it. Exclusive breastfeeding has been touted as helping to prevent conception and from my experience it works when your baby is not eating solids yet ie when your baby is less than 6 months old. My first kid I had no period for 10 months while I was breastfeeding, and my period was back just one month after I weaned him. The 2nd was 2 years plus before I got my period back, for my 3rd I got my period about 8 months after he was born but for my newborn I got my period 2 months after delivery. I will say breastfeeding can be used but the risk is high because it is quite unpredictable in its patterns and you may could get pregnant even before you get your periods back.

The various contraceptive methods I know about and have actively used are

Safe period/Calendar method
This is quite good if you know your body, are disciplined and good at record keeping. The only problem here is that the other room activities have to be planned and you must have regular cycles.The average woman has a 28 day cycle and that is what I have. Day 1 is the first day of the period and lasts till Day 5. Day 6,7 and 8 is my safe period meaning I can do and undo in this time frame without fear . Day 10 to day 22 I abstain or if it must happen a condom must be used this is the unsafe period when pregnancy can occur. Day 23 till the day my period shows up which is on day 28 is also a safe period . It worked for us perfectly because I was in sync with my body and the times we did it during my unsafe period and without any form of protection I fell pregnant.

Condom
This is good for both pregnancy and std prevention but as a married person I will tell you categorically ko le work. It will fail you when you least expect it. My hubby and I did this for 2 years but I got pregnant eventually. Sometimes the intensity in the other room gets to you and it just maybe that one time you get carried away and boom you are pregnant. Unless you are very sure that you can be consistent then you can go on with this method

Withdrawal Method
This is when a man does not ejaculate into the female during intercourse. He pulls out so there is no deposit of semen that can lead to pregnancy. It works for some people but not me. The risk here is very high and it is not too reliable as one can get carried away during the act . Oga may not be able to pull out on time and madam sef may not want him to.

Emergency Contraception ( Postinor 2)
This is contraception that is used from 0 to 72 hours after unprotected intercourse. It is simply tablets that you take by mouth and it works by preventing you from ovulating and generally making the reproductive tract environment unfavorable for contraception. This method works but its not for everyone because it comes with side effect and for people with a family history of high blood pressure its best to stay away from it. It also distorts your period as it may come earlier or later than it should. It is also not for regular use. It is meant to be used only in emergency situations and should not be used as a primary method of contraception

Intrauterine device
This is called IUD and they are of two types hormonal and non hormonal. The non hormonal is just the copper IUD with no additives . It is t shaped and has a rope attached to it, the t shaped side will be in the uterus while the rope end will be hanging in the birth canal. I have never used this but 80 % of my friends use this and it has not failed any of them. The hormonal is the same except for some added hormones that aid pregnancy prevention. The main thing is that you need to check regularly that the rope is still hanging there, if it is not it means the IUD has been displaced and needs to be found. The nest step is back to the hospital where you fixed it. This method lasts for 3 to 10 years depending on the type and brand. Once you remove it conception can take place almost immediately and you can do the do anytime you like without any worries. My plan is to get this fitted in the next 1 or 2 months and I will give updates on how the procedure went and how I am adjusting to it

The above items are the ones I am more familiar with but you have other methods like
The pill
The injection
Vastectomy and Tubal Ligation

Will be back to complete the update on the other methods

beeijeoma:
Shopping for baby as a FTM

It is exciting to shop for baby as a FTM and it is really easy to end up buying things you don't need. I would advise buying good quality stuff as you can use them for your other kids. The items you need to buy are

1 Baby clothing
Babies experience growth spurts a couple of times in their first year of life and the standard sizing for their clothes is as follows. I buy mostly Carters and Gerber because they are of good quality and not too expense
Newborn----- I bought newborn items when I had my first and my kid wore it for 1 month before it became too small. Limit the number of items you buy 2 or 3 is fine
0 to 3 months
3 to 6 months
6 to 9 months
9 to 12 months
The items I bought are
Sleepsuits 7
Bodysuit 7
Shawl/Blanket 2 large and 2 small
Mittens 1 they keep falling off I use socks as mitten
Socks 10 to 12 I don't buy shoes till my kids are about 9 months so they wear socks a lot and socks are usually age 0 to 6 months or 0 to 12 months
Going out outfits . I buy just 4 when they are 0 to 3 months and increase the number as they get older
Hats 3
Bibs 4

Baby bath items
Baby bath invest in a strong one you can use for other kids
Towel 2
Face flannel or towel 4
Sponge 1
Baby soap . I prefer liquid soap to bar soap . Bar soap melts quickly and can become messy. Liquid also last longer . If you soap your baby in the morning and decide to give a night bath you do not need to use soap again. Using too much soap can dry out the baby's skin
Baby lotion
Baby oil
Vaseline (unscented) I use this as a barrier cream for the diaper area to prevent rashes. Use it after bathing and at every diaper change
Note do not buy baby powder the general consensus is that it can cause respiratory problems for babies

Baby feeding
Baby bottles 8 ------I buy a lot of this because I wash and sterilize all the bottles myself at the end of the day . If I am not there whoever is feeding baby just picks the bottle and use . I do this to prevent baby getting sick from bottles that are nit well sterilized
Breast pump------------------I buy manual electric is too expensive for me .
Milton sterilizing tablets/ Sterilizer----------- I buy the sterilizing tablets
Hot water flask

Baby Accessories
Baby bed -------------- Its not a necessity for me . I co sleep with my babies. It is easy this way because of bf exclusively
Baby wardrobe --------Not necessary if you have a wardrobe that has space
Baby carrier -------------Not compulsory the only time I bought it I ended up returning it to the store . I just wasn't comfortable
Baby rocker---- Its a good investment as baby can play and sleep in there
Diapers------------ Do not buy too many of the smallest size as babies overgrow them quickly. I buy just 1 box of size 1 and more of size 2 and so on
Wipes------------- Unscented is best just in case your baby has allergies
Comb-------Buy a good comb with blunt teeth . There is nothing like baby comb its usually more expensive and no different from a standard comb
Baby bag----To me this is optional I only bought with my first. Any standard bag will do. The only plus here is that the baby bags come with a changing mat which is quite useful
Push chairs / strollers---------------------------Not needed only useful if you live outside Nigeria
Car seat-------------Good if you have a car

This is just from my personal experience and it is not a comprehensive list