Nairaland is still the same after staying off for a while, people still don't get to keep their shitty opinion bottled in, must you lots air your rotten ideas? Even if you can't picture what the lady is going through,your brain should at least process her words!!a poster said his empathy dropped when she mentioned her needs,duh!!!! Ladies shouldn't go through situations like this,no matter what....I really hope she moves on,find help,hope and love again,it's a short life filled with so many pains,I wonder why it's this bad for some humans and some never get to experience half of it,then yab away at the mouth like it's a walk over.

Fortunately for me, God blessed me with a mother in-law that is everything one could wish for. We have our differences quite alright but we do understand each other. I love her just like my own mother.


God will strengthen you Woman. He won't desert the woman without a husband. God will take care of you and your children but you've got to get up and let him use you to do that by seriously looking for what business or trade to learn so you can fend for yourself and children. Don't be waiting for another man as a helper! Help yourself!!!

Good luck.

pcguru1:


Fathers and Men have a code of ethics that governs them, it's why most men can get along without having to know each other, which is what I believe doesn't exist when it comes to women, a woman will easily throw another under the bus for a man. That sisterhood isn't that strong as it is being built to be now, I know many will take offence at this statement , but this is what I perceive it to be, unless someone can elaborately put it in a way that would make more sense to me.

Women are always paranoid and superstitious... They don't trust each other..

Men are more plain hearted towards each other..
We have the best heart.. We don't need to be making 'awwwn' 'dear' 'honeypie' sound before we can show our open-mindedness..

Women are always seeing evil in one another...

pocohantas:


I think aside the terrorialism, there is also this power most people give to their mothers. If the power isn't there, there is really nothing much the mother can do than bicker- but we know that is often not the case.

Lots of you guys will always say "my mother first, my mother this...that". Creating unnecessary rivalry, yet you don't want them to fight? Have you ever dated a core daddy's girl? Guys avoid those girls, because they don't wanna deal with the unnecessary competition. However, they put their wives through same by words and actions.

People should learn to separate the love of a mother and wife.

Women self entitlement is by default.. It is not because thier sons give them any power...

Once the father cannot put that woman in check, she will go ahead to have prevailing effect over his son..

Imagine how opinionated you will grow as a mother in law.. Only civilization can keep you in check.. Not your son..., Unless you marry a real Alfa male

cococandy:
All these superstitious beliefs

How can she prove the mom killed her own son?

When was the last time the man went to get a check up in the hospital? How healthy was he?

You are viewing this case as a mother.. Try to view it as a young wife... That Mother in law started the superstitious and Paranoid beliefs in the first place...
Everything deteriorated to this present condition because of the woman's threat and and her feeling of imminent doom...

African Mothers should take life easy abeg!!

ume1000:
the problem most women have with other humans and indeed every other thing is control they want to control everything (living and non living) so they can't stand it when someone else is trying to share this control. in this special scenario the mother has grown used to manipulating the son from childhood it's usually in the form of don't go to this Uncles house don't go to that aunty house. don't eat this person's or that persons food. the wife on the other hand may (or may not) also be used to manipulations. Like telling her man to cut ties with this brother and that sister help that brother don't help that sister. My advice to all mother in laws and daughter in laws with the above traits is that two captains can not move a boat (directionless son) I

Classyuniquebae:
Fortunately for me, God blessed me with a mother in-law that is everything one could wish for. We have our differences quite alright but we do understand each other. I love her just like my own mother.


God will strengthen you Woman. He won't desert the woman without a husband. God will take care of you and your children but you've got to get up and let him use you to do that by seriously looking for what business or trade to learn so you can fend for yourself and children. Don't be waiting for another man as a helper! Help yourself!!!

Good luck.

That is the kind of stuff I like to hear..
God bless you and your Mother in law!!!

eni4real:
Women self entitlement is by default.. It is not because thier sons give them any power...

Once the father cannot put that woman in check, she will go ahead to have prevailing effect over his son..

Imagine how opinionated you will grow as a mother in law.. Only civilization can keep you in check.. Not your son..., Unless you marry a real Alfa male

Okay...

I’m not holding brief for the mother in law
She may or may not have said everything the daughter in law is accusing her of.
My issues with the DIL is that she actually believes her husband was killed by the mom.

If the MIL didn’t shoot, stab him or poison him that she knows for sure, then how could she have killed him?

eni4real:
You are viewing this case as a mother.. Try to view it as a young wife... That Mother in law started the superstitious and Paranoid beliefs in the first place...
Everything deteriorated to this present condition because of the woman's threat and and her feeling of imminent doom...

African Mothers should take life easy abeg!!

eni4real:
Women are always paranoid and superstitious... They don't trust each other..

Men are more plain hearted towards each other..
We have the best heart.. We don't need to be making 'awwwn' 'dear' 'honeypie' sound before we can show our open-mindedness..

Women are always seeing evil in one another...

Lmao. Is that why y’all kill and maim each other? The love and plain heartedness you have for one another?

I thought I was actually responding to someone with something sensible to say.

Didn’t know it’s another of them deluded ones who only see enmity when women aren’t getting along but becomes instantly blind to the evils that men do to each other ON DAILY BASIS.

cococandy:


Lmao. Is that why y’all kill and maim each other? The love and plain heartedness you have for one another?

I thought I was actually responding to someone with something sensible to say.

Didn’t know it’s another of them deluded ones who only see enmity when women aren’t getting along but becomes instantly blind to the evils that men do to each other ON DAILY BASIS.

You are not making any sense here, to be honest..

Maim each other?? Like Biko haram vs Military?? Fight for Power in politics, business, wars etc??

How on earth is that gender based??

Women fight each other to demonstrate who is the better woman??

By the way, this is a family issue that borders on wife vs Mother in laws, it happens a lot..
You will rarely see the male folks fighting in this context..
Try to focus on the topic... And be practical on family issues that happen in Nigeria too!!!

AntiBrutus:


Okay...

dokey

It won’t make sense to you.

Because you’re literally blind to men fighting and killing each other on issues neither related to the military nor politics.

I don’t have time to argue to you.

You’re just another deluded guy who makes up statistics from his butthole while the reality around him speaks otherwise.

eni4real:
You are not making any sense here, to be honest..

Maim each other?? Like Biko haram vs Military?? Fight for Power in politics, business, wars etc??

How on earth is that gender based??

Women fight each other to demonstrate who is the better woman??

By the way, this is a family issue that borders on wife vs Mother in laws, it happens a lot..
You will rarely see the male folks fighting in this context..
Try to focus on the topic... And be practical on family issues that happen in Nigeria too!!!

cococandy:
It won’t make sense to you.

Because you’re literally blind to men fighting and killing each other on issues neither related to the military nor politics.

I don’t have time to argue to you.

You’re just another deluded guy who makes up statistics from his butthole while the reality around him speaks otherwise.

Insulting men seems to be your calling then...

I don't think you understand the context of this topic sef.. .

Ariza:
I don't know why, but my pity for her dropped by 50% when I got to 'my landlord gave us quit notice' ' your son is out of school' part. Woman what have you been doing with your life when your husband was alive? Probably a housewife!. So a woman can't take care of a child herself?



That said, please never belittle the opinion or words of your boyfriend's or fiancé's mother. They matter a lot, make peace with them and be sure you are accepted before you say YES. A woman can influence a Nation against or in support of you. Be wise!

Your last paragraph is apt. If I will get married, when that time comes, I won't leave any stone unturned to see that my in-laws approve of me. If that cannot be guaranteed, there wont be a union.

Only fools take threats as unimportant, you underestimated threats from a woman who was bitter that you married her son, hmm. Even after marrying him, she asked him to divorce you, rubbish. In her long writing I have not seen where she mentioned that she was spiritual and prayed regularly in the marriage. A lesson to all, spiritual matters aren't tackled physically.

FROM HER OWN SIDE OF THE STORY, THE WITCH CRIED IN THE NIGHT AND THE CHILD DIED IN THE MORNING.

penjm:
Man no deh die a natural dead in Igbo land?

LilMissFavvy:
Only fools take threats as unimportant, you underestimated threats from a woman who was bitter that you married her son, hmm. Even after marrying him, she asked him to divorce you, rubbish. In her long writing I have not seen where she mentioned that she was spiritual and prayed regularly in the marriage. A lesson to all, spiritual matters aren't tackled physically.

My dear even if she is spiritual, she was not supposed to stay in that hostile family/marriage setting..
Obedience is better than sacrifice!!

No. What obedience? Obeying a witch? It is a witch that should obey a child of God. What crime did she commit getting marrying? The problem is she was not smart, she even said it that she took such threats mildly.

eni4real:
My dear even if she is spiritual, she was not supposed to stay in that hostile family/marriage setting..
Obedience is better than sacrifice!!

Says the dummy who’s calling women evil and all sorts of names..

Look in the mirror dude but you probably can’t. Because all y’all do is project your behaviors on women and pretend we are the ones guilty of the very things you do.

eni4real:
Insulting men seems to be your calling then...

I don't think you understand the context of this topic sef.. .

FrLukas:


Maybe the mother-in-law already saw death for her son if he married the woman and that was why she was against it in the first place.

See now, the man is dead. No woman will kill the son because he married someone she doesn't like.

The story is from the perspective of the woman.

Who knows what really happened?

So y painting it like you know? If she saw death, no be to pray avert such? Are we not all gonna die? So y frustrate the couple and curse at d lady? Imagine saying their son will die..

No body should enter a family where they not wanted o. Love ain't enough o. Una go allow love block una eyes enter one chance...

It is well

We live in a wicked world. You dont need to wrong them before they attack you.

It now you need to be very close to God. You mother in law means business.

Satan detest marriage with perfect hatred.

Do not take chances again. Fight the battle head long with the Word of victory. Victory is certain.

Mama saw a sinister hidden in this your girl soul, she tried to save his son from the impending disaster but usually men when they fall in love their brains deactivate..see it now..in Igbo adddage what an elder saw lying down the young would climb up the trees but won’t still see it, what killed ur husband only you can answer that, strange women everywhere

You're right: that's the mentality of people from a certain part of the country. The women don't work, the man is flattered to think he is a rock, so in the end, many drive themselves to their early graves either from sheer exhaustion in trying to provide all the needs of their wife and wife's family. If you examine critically, this was what killed the man not any mother-in-law. Probably the mother-in-law's sin was that she told her to go get a job

Ariza:
I don't know why, but my pity for her dropped by 50% when I got to 'my landlord gave us quit notice' ' your son is out of school' part. Woman what have you been doing with your life when your husband was alive? Probably a housewife!. So a woman can't take care of a child herself?



That said, please never belittle the opinion or words of your boyfriend's or fiancé's mother. They matter a lot, make peace with them and be sure you are accepted before you say YES. A woman can influence a Nation against or in support of you. Be wise!

So sad....hope she didn't completely depend on the man....quit notice, son-out-of-school....really so sad.

Edusouls:
Mama saw a sinister hidden in this your girl soul, she tried to save his son from the impending disaster but usually men when they fall in love their brains deactivate..see it now..in Igbo adddage what an elder saw lying down the young would climb up the trees but won’t still see it, what killed ur husband only you can answer that, strange women everywhere

I feel sorry for this mother in law. She lost her only son, is estranged from his wife, is accused of being a witch and has no access to the only product of the union to console her.

She smelt this girl from afar. Her maternal instincts flashed red alert. But her love-blinded son couldn't understand that this girl was bad news.
Here is a drama queen, possibly deluded by a fake prophet, accusing Mama who's grieving too of killing her only son.

Merciful Heavens, please may such a daughter in-law not come the way of my sons.
Op, if you know her, show her my post. She's evil or plain foolish. Mama lost an adult son. Can she birth such a child again? This wife is young and can remarry. Who has more reason to grieve?

cococandy:
Says the dummy who’s calling women evil and all sorts of names..

Look in the mirror dude but you probably can’t. Because all y’all do is project your behaviors on women and pretend we are the ones guilty of the very things you do.

If that Mother in law is not evil to you, that means something is fundamentally wrong with you!!

LilMissFavvy:
No. What obedience? Obeying a witch? It is a witch that should obey a child of God. What crime did she commit getting marrying? The problem is she was not smart, she even said it that she took such threats mildly.

By "obedience...", I mean just look for a better family... That hostility should be condoned by any lady provided her self esteem is still intact tho!!

salt1:


I feel sorry for this mother in law. She lost her only son, is estranged from his wife, is accused of being a witch and has no access to the only product of the union to console her.

She smelt this girl from afar. Her maternal instincts flashed red alert. But her love-blinded son couldn't understand that this girl was bad news.
Here is a drama queen, possibly deluded by a fake prophet, accusing Mama who's grieving too of killing her only son.

Merciful Heavens, please may such a daughter in-law not come the way of my sons.
Op, if you know her, show her my post. She's evil or plain foolish. Mama lost an adult son. Can she birth such a child again? This wife is young and can remarry. Who has more reason to grieve?

Good thing I'm not the only one not moved by the one sided fairytale spinned by this vindictive woman. How could you demonize the mother of the man you claim you loved to this extent? Even worse is that the old woman probably can't access the internet so we may never get to hear her side of the story. Not once did she state the cause of death of her husband but instead she repeatedly kept implying that his mother has a hand in her own son's death. That shows the kind of evil and mischievous person she is, no wonder the poor woman didn't want such a wife for her son. Now she can't mourn her son in peace because she has been tagged as a witch by her DIL

Ariza:
Says the mother of Marriage. Yes Granny!

yes son

You need to sell your phone and purchase sense. It’s like talking to a dunce seriously.

When did I ever say she was a good or evil MIL

I simply said the young woman can’t prove her husband was killed by the mom because she didn’t see her do it.
The only reason why she believes it is because she’s superstitious.

Buy some sense

eni4real:
If that Mother in law is not evil to you, that means something is fundamentally wrong with you!!