Rubbiish:

Lolss
I thought it was something serious lol
If u ask me i honestly do not see any problem here...this is a sweet marriage. I swear
I think d little issue here is d manner of communication & expression. If u are telling him to assist u in a commanding and condescending tone he may try resisting it. I told my sisters d greatest tool a woman can use to bring down a is whatever u do should be in a submissive Manner, the man will just melt, but many women don't know this. It is working for them perfectly in their marriage.

I think u should express it as peaceful and calm as possible. Honestly we shouldn't view marriage as a trade by barter system, saying if u do this he must do that is likely to affect the happiness in that marriage, likewise for him. If not for anything at least for the kids, just view everything u are doing is for d kids. Couples really don't know the joy children feel when they see their parents living happily together, money can't buy that happiness for them.

GreatResearcher:
Fellow husbands in the house, are your wives attitudes while in marriage the same as when the were in courtship? I realized women characters change from almost good to very worst once they get married.

Most tmes we wonder if the women we got married to are they women we dated. What could be the cause of this change in character.

olabrinks:
Will you stop it please. Just because you’re man it doesn’t mean you’re exempt from advice, especially from your wife. You do not know it all, and sometimes people from the outside can see clearer than those dealing with the situation. Ego is the biggest downfall of men, humble yourself to corrections from anyone.

Like I said, wife and children come first and every other thing follows. A mother and extended family should be able to understand this, there’s no argument about this. It’s not about loving anybody equally, it about prioritising your list of responsibilities wisely as a husband and father. Only exceptions for emergencies. If you cannot understand this, then please stay single, marriage is not for everyone.

jakandeola:
d problem is DAT some of u take rubbish in relationship in d name of I love u I love u. u refuse to discipline her wen she do bad. a girl Neva cook for u or wash for u as girlfrine u expect she wash as a wife.wat stop u from doing d rite thing. I beat my ex cos she refuse to wash for my mum she dump me. am in pain but I know is for d best cos wat I cant take now I will Neva take in marriage. am happily married now my wife too dicipline her cos of dis issue of lazy.she did not dump me.she stay and change her way.I still deal wit her wwn she do wrong and I sware she is a beta person before as I meet her.

GreatResearcher:
Explain how these factors can make a truthful person a liar.

frozen70g:


So many factors could be responsible

Marriage itself

Presence of children and their wahala

Absence of children and pressure to give birth

False impression of the guy having money

Control from the man to his wife

The way the man's family welcomed and relate with her

Domestic chores waiting to be done

Stress from house and office work

Lack of interest in everything including sex

The harsh economy and inability to meet up

Lastly, lack of attention and affection from husband

LadySarah:
Same As men too.

engrchykae:
That's how they are created, their mother Eve waited patiently until Adam married her then she started showing her colors.
If you are from the East,be careful of arochukwu she devilds

Yujin:

From page 1-6, no one has subtly attributed the bad behaviour associated with some women to a location except you. Don't you think you're wrong here? Women are women all over the world. Wasn't it the popular Bob Marley that sang that song: 'No woman no Cry'? See my friend, bad behaviour is not exclusive to a particular area.
Divorce rate is on the increase and the simple reason in my opinion is the recent gender equality women are demanding from men. It simply will never hold well for the society. If there's leadership tussle in the homes, be rest assured that the society will be wrecked and that leaves our society in chaos. I'll always use the South African society as a case study. Women over there don't value men because the laws are so protective of women which eventually makes the women to act with reckless abandon. The SA men who are on the receiving end seeing frustration from the situation now see violence as the only way to vent out their anger. That has wrecked the society over there. Do they still do weddings and are marriages still intact? Yes, weddings still happen but most of them end in divorce and separation. Others in violent murder. Marriages are steadily on the decline. This is what is happening now among educated partners in Nigeria. When a woman is enlightened on her rights, most times she squeezes out the last drop of juice from it not knowing that it will eventually destroy her happiness. Other factors like women wanting to live up to the make belief lives of the actors they see in movies plus the craze of societal competition. On the side of the men, it's basically two things: marriage infidelity and openly showcasing it plus not fulfilling their marriage obligations. The combination of these characters is what has ravaged the marriages of the new millennium.
From what I see, it can hardly get any better. My advice to men is that we must be watchful of women because they pretend a lot. Money doesn't guarantee love but it can get you availability and excitement. Test women with the occasional denial of what they gravitate towards and see their reactions. This will tell you how she can behave afterwards. As for the women, knowing your right is good but applying wisdom in handling those rights will keep your home and happiness in tact. Eating your cake and still having it will never end well; men are not foolish. Know that marriage is work and you will reap the benefit more than the man in the long run. Who remembers the man when the children are all grown up? It's always the mother that's invited and lavished with gifts. The old man is hardly bought a decent cloth. He's blessed with whiskey to kill him faster.
In conclusion, women must realize their place in the society if our communities must remain sane. This is the truth. Feminism is a disease that should be wiped out fast. Our society needs a collective input to remedy else, we all shall be doomed.

engrchykae:
my dear,it's a lost cause, women now see men like a means to an end.
She need you to have children,then divorce you and indoctrinate the children on how their father is a fool.
If she decides to stay,she will still indoctrinate them.
At the end of the day, nothing for the man.

TooNoisy:


What you should done was to ignore the topic if you had nothing useful to say. You actually sound like you are not exposed at all - not insulting you.

Stop advising women to stay in abusive relationships - that is the simple message.

princeking2:

How about a good man with a good heart?
Does he deserve a toxic wife who probably escaped societal pressure or a bad ex?

I think the thing is, if you meet a bad person, please leave them. But unfortunately you women will always fall for the bad guys due to nasty reasons.

May God help us. I must marry right. I'm not in for all these wahala people paint marriage to be.

maasoap:


Not disputing your theory completely but a woman that will change for worse will surely do irrespective of how her husband treated her during the courtship and when married. We've seen many women whose husbands treated well and still treating well but just tuned into something else few years after marriage. Don't tell me that you didn't know any one.

UjuJoan2:
No.

UjuJoan2:


So you think it's okay for men to treat women anyhow because they are 'offering her marriage' (you know what I mean by that)?

If a man carried the demeanor that he's doing his wife a favor for marrying her, how will the marriage turn out. We heard a man tell something similar to his wife on this forum, and started lamenting when she began to react.

That's why it's best for men not to treat marriage like some sort of prize. I also read on this forum how a man locked his girlfriend outside overnight, just to 'test' if she's a wife material. And when she acted docile and tearful, he praised her for it. Now tell me, what could be more evil than that?

Some women don't care how the marriage turns out. As far as they walk down the aisle even once, they are good.

olabrinks:
Will you stop it please. Just because you’re man it doesn’t mean you’re exempt from advice, especially from your wife. You do not know it all, and sometimes people from the outside can see clearer than those dealing with the situation. Ego is the biggest downfall of men, humble yourself to corrections from anyone.

Like I said, wife and children come first and every other thing follows. A mother and extended family should be able to understand this, there’s no argument about this. It’s not about loving anybody equally, it about prioritising your list of responsibilities wisely as a husband and father. Only exceptions for emergencies. If you cannot understand this, then please stay single, marriage is not for everyone.

Ryabcool:
Lmaooo! This one na domestic violence distributor. Wife beater, I hail o.

UjuJoan2:


I believe strongly in causes and reactions. People don't just change overnight. If a man overlooks a woman's bad traits before marriage then that's on him. And vice versa.

If a man/woman treat their spouse well, chances are they will have a happy and fulfilling marriage. I'm talking from experience.

Cindy222:


Domestic Violence Distributor (DVD).

Saintmary:

Get yourself a German shepherd if you need something to tame. Women are not animals. Anyway, some women will stay in such travesties of relationships, they need it.

Belafonte:


I know there are multiple reetards on nairaland. So, a woman is treated shabbily during courtship and she doesn't leave, but bides her time till she gets married? The guy that treated her bad during courtship suddenly became a saint in marriage? He can't kill her after marriage? Lol.

Gentlemen, you cannot change anybody. If anybody changes suddenly after getting what they want, they didn't really change, they just revealed who they really were. Divorce is always a very valid option. You shouldn't have to spend one second in marriage with a witch. If your wife changes after marriage, fúcking end the damn thing.

neonly:


Pray you don't find yourself in dat situation it easy to say shit when you are not into it
I understand OP very well

mysticwarrior:
One thing that some Nigerian couples don't understand is the significant of the marriage vow they

UjuJoan2:


So ignore my post and move on. It's not going to matter or change the truth anyway. Denying the odds against women will not make them any less true.

Do women make wrong decisions because of cultural pressures? Yes. Do men exploit their unearned gender superiority? Yes!!!

Does it lead to dysfunctional marriages? Yes. Is it going to change anytime soon? NO.

mysticwarrior:
chai..this man you be real Brigadier general, I hail.

Belafonte:


As in, I don't understand. What will happen when I divorce her arsè? She will tell me good for me? Hahahhahaha. I go pursue hin mama comot for my house. God punish good foundation. If you don't like me don't marry me.