loshybab:

I do not know you but your post is full of wisdom. It portrays you as a very wise man.

However,what would you advise for someone who is in a distant relationship,yet his/her mind will not stop telling the girl/guy is the one? The suggestions up there are relatively impossible or a herculean task to do to say the least for someone in such kind of relationship.

I'll appreciate your words of wisdom on this. Thanks

I appreciate all your words. Thanks.

As for what you asked.. first, I'd like to point out that I'm not an expert when it comes to relationship matters. So I may disappoint. But i will try to share what I feel.

Just as you said, it's quite an Herculean task but I don't think it's impossible if it's given its due time and effort and it is not rushed. If you are serious about the girl, you want to spend the rest of your life with her without problems then I'm sure it will be worth it if you take your time and the pain it requires now to avert the pain you may experience for the rest of your days.

First is since you are already in the relationship, how much of seriousness and commitment do you perceive from the girl towards you in particular? Does she appear to be serious or not?

Does she communicate with you frequently and many times initiate the communication instead of waiting for you to initiate first?

Does she tell you about herself, about her life? Does she open up to you about events she experiences everyday? Does she gists you regularly about some interesting things in her life? When she's happy, does she tell you and also tell you what makes her happy? And when she's in sorrow or pain, does she tell you and tell you what happened and even ask for your advice? While you guys are communicating, can you perceive fun from her in that communication or you perceive she just acts cold or like she's bored? Does she never get tired of talking to you; does she extend her conversations even till midnight when she should be sleeping? Does she even tell you very frivolous details about her life, like what she has eaten today, what kind of cloth she is wearing, where she's going to today?

If a girl can be telling you all of the above, there are high chances that she's into you. She loves you and feel a great connection with you. Otherwise, girls do not have time to be sharing such personal details with a guy they don't like not even their MAGA in most cases! (I hope you know what maga means)

But that's not all to determine if she's serious. there's more.

Whenever she talks about her future or future plans, does she include you in the picture? Has she ever mentioned how she'll feel on the day you finally wed her? Has she even ever gone very naughty and she talks about what your sex on marriage night will be like? Has she ever told you what she wishes to name your children and what you feel about such names?

If she can be including you in the picture of her future plans, then it means she looks forward to a future with you.

So those are ways to determine if she's serious or not.

Then about you knowing the kind of person she is, even though it will be somewhat difficult to get her, you can always open your mind and sense to observe her character from your communication.

So one thing you must do is make sure you have regular communication with her on a reasonable basis.

So from your communication, try to observe.

Have you ever messaged her and it took long before she replied and when you asked her why, she couldn't find a reasonable thing to tell you?

do her words seem contradictory many times in a way that will make you suspicious that she's lying?

how does she speak with you and how does she talk about other people? do you perceive ego, arrogance or rudeness in her speech with you? And whenever she tells you about an event that concerns others, how does she speak about them? An example is if she tells you about how she went to buy something and the person did not have Change and kept her waiting and she tells you like "And the idiot old fool just delayed me for 10 minutes doing nothing" Imagine such statement. someone who can regard another person like that simply because he delayed giving her change is most likely rude. This are the things you watch out for to know her character.

In addition to what I told you above, is she the type that goes to the extent of telling you about a guy that asked her out and her response to him (rejecting him) and even goes ahead to show you their chat and you both laugh about it? If a girl can be doing that to you and she's sincere, she's most likely serious about you?

Does she even call you "my husband" instead of my my boyfriend? If a girl can be calling you "my husband", she's most likely serious about you.

Then importantly, how much does she ask for money from you? This is important because it is what determines if all what she has been doing (those things listed above and more) to portray that she is into you is actually out of genuine love and interest and not to be milking you. So how much does she ask for money?

If she doesn't ask for money at all yet she shows all those positive signs, then she's most likely or even definitely in genuine love with you and serious about you.

If her asking for money is reasonable and she proves that she actually needs it especially when she cannot get it from somewhere else, then this is regarded as normal level. a level that can exist between husband and wife, friends, brothers and sisters, etc. So there's no problem.

But if she is the one that asks incessantly, then those approaches are questionable especially if she's the type that'll refuse to talk to you until you give her what she wants. So beware of such a lady

*see continuation below*

Indeed, character is like smoke and it will find a way to show or come out if she's trying to hide it.

So engage with her frequently and observe the conversation carefully.

Then you don't stop there. I don't know the distance between you both. But if the distance is not very much and you can afford it, try visiting her and spending some time with her.

This is the time when you apply more measures to study her.

When you got to her home, how does it look like? Is there anything that puts you Off?

Who are the people who came to knock on her door to see her and how did their interaction go?

Who are her friends? And does she have any male friends? If she has male friends, has she told you about them just like she tells you about her female friends? And how close are they (she and her male friends)

how are the neighbours relating with her and how does she relate with them?

Let her take you on a walk around the whole street to observe how people are relating with her and how she's relating with people (but don't tell her that's your aim oo). At least If she bribed her friends or even close neighbours, she cannot bribe the whole neighbourhood now.

Also observe if she's quick or if she freely introduces you to whoever cares to listen as her lover or even "husband". If she does that to her friends, neighbours (especially when they ask). If she can do that, then she seems to be having nothing to hide.

Then while you are together, observe how much she's into you. is she happy the whole time that you are here? Does she play with you and love to play with you until you get tired? Watch out for how much affection she's showing you.

DON'T FVCK HER. I REPEAT DON'T Bleep HER. You have not paid her dowry (That's my personal principle by the way and I believe it's right for everyone)

Then out of all those neighbours and people on her street that relate with her, watch out for the ones that seem to be closest to her and try to study who those people are and what constitutes their interaction. THOSE ARE HER ADVISERS AND INFLUENCERS. And remember BIRDS OF A FEATHER FLOCK TOGETHER. So watch out for such people.

You can then leave and visit again. This time you may not tell her you are coming on the condition that you are sure that she will be ready to receive you if you come. That is, if she's not going to be away from home.

But please, I want to advise you something. While you are doing all these studies, make sure you don't let her notice so she would not get hurt that you don't trust her especially if she's the good girl. So whatever you think may cause her to be suspicious in the above measures, try to avoid it and do it only at the right time when it will be fine or don't do it at all if it is not necessary.

So after visiting again, try to observe. During all these studies, always pray for guidance. very important. for God sees what we do not see.

So after all your studies, if you are satisfied about her and you are very positive about her, your mind is so convinced she's the one, then FVCK IT, FVCKING TELL HER YOUR MIND

Let her be in the her room with you and while you are there, tell her there's something you want to tell her.

"Baby, I don't want to stress this any further lest I lose such a precious gem such as you to another man. Baby, I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?" (of course, you should use your own words; that's just an example)

Then at that stage, watch out for her reaction. If she's very much happy (and even crying self) that you said that and she tells you yes with all happiness, congratulations man, you've got yourself a girl.

But still... DON'T FVCK HER. I REPEAT DON'T FVCK HER!!!! You haven't still paid her dowry. Besides, you not rushing to have sex with her will go a long way to convince her that you genuinely love her and want to marry her and not just to eat from her cake.

So after that, you may start discussing how you will marry at the right time when you are both ready. But before then, take her home and let her take you home. Observe her family and their interaction with her. And at your own home, let your parents observe and examine her.

If they are fine with her and you are fine with what you observed at her parent's house, start preparing for marriage with her and wed her when you are both ready.

So that's my advice for you man. @loshybab

OladimejiRufai:
Indeed, character is like smoke and it will find a way to show or come out if she's trying to hide it.

So engage with her frequently and observe the conversation carefully.

Then you don't stop there. I don't know the distance between you both. But if the distance is not very much and you can afford it, try visiting her and spending some time with her.

This is the time when you apply more measures to study her.

When you got to her home, how does it look like? Is there anything that puts you Off?

Who are the people who came to knock on her door to see her and how did their interaction go?

Who are her friends? And does she have any male friends? If she has male friends, has she told you about them just like she tells you about her female friends? And how close are they (she and her male friends)

how are the neighbours relating with her and how does she relate with them?

Let her take you on a walk around the whole street to observe how people are relating with her and how she's relating with people (but don't tell her that's your aim oo). At least If she bribed her friends or even close neighbours, she cannot bribe the whole neighbourhood now.

Also observe if she's quick or if she freely introduces you to whoever cares to listen as her lover or even "husband". If she does that to her friends, neighbours (especially when they ask). If she can do that, then she seems to be having nothing to hide.

Then while you are together, observe how much she's into you. is she happy the whole time that you are here? Does she play with you and love to play with you until you get tired? Watch out for how much affection she's showing you.

DON'T FVCK HER. I REPEAT DON'T Bleep HER. You have not paid her dowry (That's my personal principle by the way and I believe it's right for everyone)

Then out of all those neighbours and people on her street that relate with her, watch out for the ones that seem to be closest to her and try to study who those people are and what constitutes their interaction. THOSE ARE HER ADVISERS AND INFLUENCERS. And remember BIRDS OF A FEATHER FLOCK TOGETHER. So watch out for such people.

You can then leave and visit again. This time you may not tell her you are coming on the condition that you are sure that she will be ready to receive you if you come. That is, if she's not going to be away from home.

But please, I want to advise you something. While you are doing all these studies, make sure you don't let her notice so she would not get hurt that you don't trust her especially if she's the good girl. So whatever you think may cause her to be suspicious in the above measures, try to avoid it and do it only at the right time when it will be fine or don't do it at all if it is not necessary.

So after visiting again, try to observe. During all these studies, always pray for guidance. very important. for God sees what we do not see.

So after all your studies, if you are satisfied about her and you are very positive about her, your mind is so convinced she's the one, then FVCK IT, FVCKING TELL HER YOUR MIND

Let her be in the her room with you and while you are there, tell her there's something you want to tell her.

"Baby, I don't want to stress this any further lest I lose such a precious gem such as you to another man. Baby, I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?" (of course, you should use your own words; that's just an example)

Then at that stage, watch out for her reaction. If she's very much happy (and even crying self) that you said that and she tells you yes with all happiness, congratulations man, you've got yourself a girl.

But still... DON'T FVCK HER. I REPEAT DON'T FVCK HER!!!! You haven't still paid her dowry. Besides, you not rushing to have sex with her will go a long way to convince her that you genuinely love her and want to marry her and not just to eat from her cake.

So after that, you may start discussing how you will marry at the right time when you are both ready. But before then, take her home and let her take you home. Observe her family and their interaction with her. And at your own home, let your parents observe and examine her.

If they are fine with her and you are fine with what you observed at her parent's house, start preparing for marriage with her and wed her when you are both ready.

So that's my advice for you man. @loshybab

Oh my goodness! I sincerely appreciate you for taking your time to write these. You've really said it all and I believe many would have gained a lot from these submissions of yours. I can confidently say it's one for the ages.

To answer some questions, the answer to most in the previous post is positive. However,i would like to reserve my comments,so as not to give myself out.

Can I pm you? I would like to discuss with you privately,if you don't mind.

loshybab:


Oh my goodness! I sincerely appreciate you for taking your time to write these. You've really said it all and I believe many would have gained a lot from these submissions of yours. I can confidently say it's one for the ages.

To answer some questions, the answer to most in the previous post is positive. However,i would like to reserve my comments,so as not to give myself out.

Can I pm you? I would like to discuss with you privately,if you don't mind.

Eez such a honourable

It's a honour. I don't mind at all please. Looking forward to your PM

OladimejiRufai:


Eez such a honourable

It's a honour. I don't mind at all please. Looking forward to your PM

Sent!!!
You may check your mailbox

loshybab:

Sent!!!
You may check your mailbox

I've replied.

You may check your mailbox as well

Maybe you have been asking the wrong girls out, change nyour strategy and see how it goes.

OladimejiRufai:
Indeed, character is like smoke and it will find a way to show or come out if she's trying to hide it.

So engage with her frequently and observe the conversation carefully.

Then you don't stop there. I don't know the distance between you both. But if the distance is not very much and you can afford it, try visiting her and spending some time with her.

This is the time when you apply more measures to study her.

When you got to her home, how does it look like? Is there anything that puts you Off?

Who are the people who came to knock on her door to see her and how did their interaction go?

Who are her friends? And does she have any male friends? If she has male friends, has she told you about them just like she tells you about her female friends? And how close are they (she and her male friends)

how are the neighbours relating with her and how does she relate with them?

Let her take you on a walk around the whole street to observe how people are relating with her and how she's relating with people (but don't tell her that's your aim oo). At least If she bribed her friends or even close neighbours, she cannot bribe the whole neighbourhood now.

Also observe if she's quick or if she freely introduces you to whoever cares to listen as her lover or even "husband". If she does that to her friends, neighbours (especially when they ask). If she can do that, then she seems to be having nothing to hide.

Then while you are together, observe how much she's into you. is she happy the whole time that you are here? Does she play with you and love to play with you until you get tired? Watch out for how much affection she's showing you.

DON'T FVCK HER. I REPEAT DON'T Bleep HER. You have not paid her dowry (That's my personal principle by the way and I believe it's right for everyone)

Then out of all those neighbours and people on her street that relate with her, watch out for the ones that seem to be closest to her and try to study who those people are and what constitutes their interaction. THOSE ARE HER ADVISERS AND INFLUENCERS. And remember BIRDS OF A FEATHER FLOCK TOGETHER. So watch out for such people.

You can then leave and visit again. This time you may not tell her you are coming on the condition that you are sure that she will be ready to receive you if you come. That is, if she's not going to be away from home.

But please, I want to advise you something. While you are doing all these studies, make sure you don't let her notice so she would not get hurt that you don't trust her especially if she's the good girl. So whatever you think may cause her to be suspicious in the above measures, try to avoid it and do it only at the right time when it will be fine or don't do it at all if it is not necessary.

So after visiting again, try to observe. During all these studies, always pray for guidance. very important. for God sees what we do not see.

So after all your studies, if you are satisfied about her and you are very positive about her, your mind is so convinced she's the one, then FVCK IT, FVCKING TELL HER YOUR MIND

Let her be in the her room with you and while you are there, tell her there's something you want to tell her.

"Baby, I don't want to stress this any further lest I lose such a precious gem such as you to another man. Baby, I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?" (of course, you should use your own words; that's just an example)

Then at that stage, watch out for her reaction. If she's very much happy (and even crying self) that you said that and she tells you yes with all happiness, congratulations man, you've got yourself a girl.

But still... DON'T FVCK HER. I REPEAT DON'T FVCK HER!!!! You haven't still paid her dowry. Besides, you not rushing to have sex with her will go a long way to convince her that you genuinely love her and want to marry her and not just to eat from her cake.

So after that, you may start discussing how you will marry at the right time when you are both ready. But before then, take her home and let her take you home. Observe her family and their interaction with her. And at your own home, let your parents observe and examine her.

If they are fine with her and you are fine with what you observed at her parent's house, start preparing for marriage with her and wed her when you are both ready.

So that's my advice for you man. @loshybab

How do you learn and know all this in this our generation that guys only ve skills on how to bleep every woman they come across, you re full of wisdom. I ll really love to be your friend.
Please can i PM you??

SBL28:
Maybe you have been asking the wrong girls out, change nyour strategy and see how it goes.

I thought of that too, I'm easily attracted to flashy girls with big ass, big boobs & all that, you hardly can find a cool, homely and reserved single lady this days and again i find it hard to date a virgin, i wouldn't want to cheat on her to make her do it.

Nigerian girls love money, swag and spending(flexing).

Generallll:

How do you learn and know all this in this our generation that guys only ve skills on how to bleep every woman they come across, you re full of wisdom. I ll really love to be your friend.
Please can i PM you??

Thanks for your words.

Yeah, feel free. Looking forward to your PM

Some men do not have patience of your level. Most guys are going to sites like adult dating HotHW without actually paying attention to romantic component of the relationship and self-devotion. Cheers to you, man, you're doing fine and motivating me at the same time.

Generallll:

How do you learn and know all this in this our generation that guys only ve skills on how to bleep every woman they come across, you re full of wisdom. I ll really love to be your friend.
Please can i PM you??

I've replied your PM bro. Sent my number to your mailbox. Looking forward to your message

bereanway:
Get a decent girl around, and not the fancy fancy type.

my brother fancy or no fancy, does not really matter if a lady will cheat or not

OladimejiRufai:
Indeed, character is like smoke and it will find a way to show or come out if she's trying to hide it.

So engage with her frequently and observe the conversation carefully.

Then you don't stop there. I don't know the distance between you both. But if the distance is not very much and you can afford it, try visiting her and spending some time with her.

This is the time when you apply more measures to study her.

When you got to her home, how does it look like? Is there anything that puts you Off?

Who are the people who came to knock on her door to see her and how did their interaction go?

Who are her friends? And does she have any male friends? If she has male friends, has she told you about them just like she tells you about her female friends? And how close are they (she and her male friends)

how are the neighbours relating with her and how does she relate with them?

Let her take you on a walk around the whole street to observe how people are relating with her and how she's relating with people (but don't tell her that's your aim oo). At least If she bribed her friends or even close neighbours, she cannot bribe the whole neighbourhood now.

Also observe if she's quick or if she freely introduces you to whoever cares to listen as her lover or even "husband". If she does that to her friends, neighbours (especially when they ask). If she can do that, then she seems to be having nothing to hide.

Then while you are together, observe how much she's into you. is she happy the whole time that you are here? Does she play with you and love to play with you until you get tired? Watch out for how much affection she's showing you.

DON'T FVCK HER. I REPEAT DON'T Bleep HER. You have not paid her dowry (That's my personal principle by the way and I believe it's right for everyone)

Then out of all those neighbours and people on her street that relate with her, watch out for the ones that seem to be closest to her and try to study who those people are and what constitutes their interaction. THOSE ARE HER ADVISERS AND INFLUENCERS. And remember BIRDS OF A FEATHER FLOCK TOGETHER. So watch out for such people.

You can then leave and visit again. This time you may not tell her you are coming on the condition that you are sure that she will be ready to receive you if you come. That is, if she's not going to be away from home.

But please, I want to advise you something. While you are doing all these studies, make sure you don't let her notice so she would not get hurt that you don't trust her especially if she's the good girl. So whatever you think may cause her to be suspicious in the above measures, try to avoid it and do it only at the right time when it will be fine or don't do it at all if it is not necessary.

So after visiting again, try to observe. During all these studies, always pray for guidance. very important. for God sees what we do not see.

So after all your studies, if you are satisfied about her and you are very positive about her, your mind is so convinced she's the one, then FVCK IT, FVCKING TELL HER YOUR MIND

Let her be in the her room with you and while you are there, tell her there's something you want to tell her.

"Baby, I don't want to stress this any further lest I lose such a precious gem such as you to another man. Baby, I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?" (of course, you should use your own words; that's just an example)

Then at that stage, watch out for her reaction. If she's very much happy (and even crying self) that you said that and she tells you yes with all happiness, congratulations man, you've got yourself a girl.

But still... DON'T FVCK HER. I REPEAT DON'T FVCK HER!!!! You haven't still paid her dowry. Besides, you not rushing to have sex with her will go a long way to convince her that you genuinely love her and want to marry her and not just to eat from her cake.

So after that, you may start discussing how you will marry at the right time when you are both ready. But before then, take her home and let her take you home. Observe her family and their interaction with her. And at your own home, let your parents observe and examine her.

If they are fine with her and you are fine with what you observed at her parent's house, start preparing for marriage with her and wed her when you are both ready.

So that's my advice for you man. @loshybab

the greatest insight av come across on relationship matters. in this bleeping generation. ao i wish dis should be shared a million times. can i pm you cos i need to know you o

Generallll:
I've been bothered recently about the number of girls I've asked out & ended up starting a relationship with but the moment i get very closer to them, i begin to see things/attitudes that really get me pissed (like some re runs girls, some re gold diggers, some re too fake, artificial and you get to see the real them when you get closer, i went through someone's whatsapp, actually a lady i so much liked & thought she's cool and i saw mind blowing chats of how she Bleep and give some dude blow jobs and all that e.t.c).
I've also been having trust issues and i find it hard to keep female friends and as well keep a relationship, that's because the moment i get closer to a lady the next thing on my mind is to ask her out and then have sex with her. I also noticed i have a high libido for sex and most girls i end up dating ll think i only want them for sex. I've been thinking, has anyone been in this situation and please what's the way out because as a young man, i really want to stay focused, have my own loyal woman and that's all.
My question is how do guys that keep female friends without having the urge to Bleep them do it? How do some guys cope with gold diggers or keep such ladies as girlfriends and how can i stop moving from one woman to the other.
Am a social media addict that meet alot of ladies online especially in my location here.
Or am i being childish, picky or impatient, i can't even cope with attitude from girls atimes like i can easily get upset and delete a lady's number esp when she's giving me the yes, no, k, replies and when i try to get close to a lady and she's giving me attitude .
Am i proud and arrogant?
Op please push to front page.

you sound like you will benefit from therapy. See a psychologist

maximusprime2000:


the greatest insight av come across on relationship matters. in this bleeping generation. ao i wish dis should be shared a million times. can i pm you cos i need to know you o

feel free sir. And thanks for your words

I think it depends on what girl you find and how you teach her from the beginning. In my experience, I can say that I had different types of girls with who I spent a lot of money and with who I spent only on tea or coffee. A few months ago I found my twin flame accidentally on the train. We talked all the way even forgetting to go down at the station. After this, we met every day and I found out that she is married. One of my friends gave me to read the fake twin flame and this helped me a lot because she didn't want to divorce her husband and I didn't make plans for the future.

SBL28:
Maybe you have been asking the wrong girls out, change nyour strategy and see how it goes.

How come it is the wrong girls he has been asking out, it shows the wrongs girls are the majority.

StrRock:
I think it depends on what girl you find and how you teach her from the beginning. In my experience, I can say that I had different types of girls with who I spent a lot of money and with who I spent only on tea or coffee. A few months ago I found my twin flame accidentally on the train. We talked all the way even forgetting to go down at the station. After this, we met every day and I found out that she is married. One of my friends gave me to read the fake twin flame and this helped me a lot because she didn't want to divorce her husband and I didn't make plans for the future.

Nice, I had almost a similar situation, but it didn't end so will like yours.