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Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? - Family - Nairaland

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Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by AjayOfficial(m): 7:18pm On Nov 20, 2019
Okay just recently my cousin got married,wedding ceremony was held in the east, Enugu state to be precise. A lot of people graced the occasion from far and near across states in Nigeria, but d attendants that got my attention was a family friend,a couple that flew in from Kenya. They are Nigerians but now based in Kenya. I took care of their travel arrangement and here is the breakdown;
: Return ticket from Kenya to Lagos N290k ×2 = 580k
: Return ticket Lagos to Owerri (because Enugu airport is closed) 46k × 2 = 92k
: Land transportation Owerri to Enugu 25k (chartered car)
: Hotel (5 nights) 75k
: chartered cab to move around 40k
Then feeding and other miscellaneous expenses which I cannot calculate, but those expenses listed above amounted to N712k.
So my thought was why not stay put in Kenya and send the couple even 500k and do video call to congratulate them rather than spending that much to come down here to shake their hands,take photographs and give them 50k inside brown envelope (that is the amount my cousin said the man gave him).

So guys what do u think, I don't know if am making sense oh but that is my own opinion to the matter.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by nlPoster: 7:24pm On Nov 20, 2019
I didn't read the write up but definitely not fair.
Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by kingphilip(m): 7:36pm On Nov 20, 2019
Maybe na poor man mentality de make me reason say the presence is better than the presents

But if both of us grab wella, the souvenir go weigh pass the #50,000. If I be billionaire, I no go need #500,000 now.

Las Las all man need hustle make presence + #50,000 present better pass absence + #500,000

6 Likes

Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by bukatyne(f): 7:55pm On Nov 20, 2019
AjayOfficial:
Okay just recently my cousin got married,wedding ceremony was held in the east, Enugu state to be precise. A lot of people graced the occasion from far and near across states in Nigeria, but d attendants that got my attention was a family friend,a couple that flew in from Kenya. They are Nigerians but now based in Kenya. I took care of their travel arrangement and here is the breakdown;
: Return ticket from Kenya to Lagos N290k ×2 = 580k
: Return ticket Lagos to Owerri (because Enugu airport is closed) 46k × 2 = 92k
: Land transportation Owerri to Enugu 25k (chartered car)
: Hotel (5 nights) 75k
: chartered cab to move around 40k
Then feeding and other miscellaneous expenses which I cannot calculate, but those expenses listed above amounted to N712k.
So my thought was why not stay put in Kenya and send the couple even 500k and do video call to congratulate them rather than spending that much to come down here to shake their hands,take photographs and give them 50k inside brown envelope (that is the amount my cousin said the man gave him).

So guys what do u think, I don't know if am making sense oh but that is my own opinion to the matter.

First, I do not understand the entitlement mentality that makes you think that your cousin is entitled to the family's N500k.

Even your thread asks if it is fair. Fair to whom? Who is the wronged party here? Do a couple cannot decide how to spend their N712k again?

Secondly, that couple in addition to attending your cousin's wedding hooked up with relatives, lost friends, reconnected with Nigeria, enjoyed road trips and even had a mini-honeymoon.

I think it is poverty that makes us value money above the presence and show of love.

A relative I had not seen in years came for my wedding. She thought I had forgotten her till I told her a slang from years back and she laughed heartily.

The next time I saw her, she was dead.

I value that memory above whatever money she would have given us.

Experience, memories is key for me.

Gosh, we are too transactional.

41 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by sholay2011(m): 8:14pm On Nov 20, 2019
bukatyne:


First, I do not understand the entitlement mentality that makes you think that your cousin is entitled to the family's N500k.

Even your thread asks if it is fair. Fair to whom? Who is the wronged party here? Do a couple cannot decide how to spend their N712k again?

Secondly, that couple in addition to attending your cousin's wedding hooked up with relatives, lost friends, reconnected with Nigeria, enjoyed road trips and even had a mini-honeymoon.

I think it is poverty that makes us value money above the presence and show of love.

A relative I had not seen in years came for my wedding. She thought I had forgotten her till I told her a slang from years back and she laughed heartily.

The next time I saw her, she was dead.

I value that memory above whatever money she would have given us.

Experience, memories is key for me.

Gosh, we are too transactional.
Well said.

@OP...Change your mentality. Life is a collection of experiences and memories, not money and things.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by Fountainofyouth(f): 8:32pm On Nov 20, 2019
How is showing up for your cousin's wedding, spending their money as they see fit, not fair or fair? Fair or not fair to who? You or your cousin? Change your topic.

3 Likes

Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by Nobody: 9:05pm On Nov 20, 2019
The way Nigerians think they're entitled to other people's money is becoming so damn sickening.

No, you're not making any sense. In fact, you and your cousin are both senseless, greedy ingrates.

4 Likes

Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by Nobody: 9:32pm On Nov 20, 2019
So one can't spend their money how they see fit? If people can stop putting eyes in people's pockets, this society would b a better place.

4 Likes

Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by babyfaceafrica: 9:54pm On Nov 20, 2019
they did the right thing...everything is not money

1 Like

Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by midnighter(f): 10:11pm On Nov 20, 2019
Their presence and the effort that they made to fly all the way from Kenya is what matters and is more of a gift than whatever amount they decide to drop.

I would be so honoured if somebody were to do this for me.

It's not a question of fairness but of values. You have a wrong priority.

You sound like a total ingrate.

Some people would also calculate the cost and decide not to bother coming, you know that?

Bad mentality

2 Likes

Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by yeyeosoronga: 10:13pm On Nov 20, 2019
If your cousin wanted only their money, he shouldn't have invited them to the wedding, but rather asked them for a donation instead.
Why invite people to your wedding and then b.itch about it afterwards when they honour your invitation?

8 Likes

Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by baby124: 10:25pm On Nov 20, 2019
Wetin concern you with their money OP? Amebo.

1 Like

Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by doitforyou(f): 10:26pm On Nov 20, 2019
midnighter:
Their presence and the effort that they made to fly all the way from Kenya is what matters and is more of a gift than whatever amount they decide to drop.

I would be so honoured if somebody were to do this for me.

It's not a question of fairness but of values. You have a wrong priority.

I can't believe you actually sat down and calculated the amount they spent on attending your cousins occasion. You sound like a total ingrate.

Some people would also calculate the cost and decide not to bother coming, you know that?

Bad mentality

The risk of flying, is enough.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by midnighter(f): 10:29pm On Nov 20, 2019
doitforyou:


The risk of flying, is enough.

Enough for what?

1 Like

Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by doitforyou(f): 10:39pm On Nov 20, 2019
midnighter:


Enough for what?
The risk the Nigerian couple based in Kenya took to fly down to Nigeria is enough for the OP not to exist.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by midnighter(f): 11:28pm On Nov 20, 2019
doitforyou:

The risk the Nigerian couple based in Kenya took to fly down to Nigeria is enough for the OP not to exist.

Exactly. Smh what a post

1 Like

Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by TheeDetective: 11:43pm On Nov 20, 2019
What sort of silly nansensical question is this? undecidedSo if this were your brother and his wife or your sister and her husband that came all the way from Kenya to attend your wedding you would have told them to send you the money instead abi? Rather than them attending your wedding right? undecided That said, no appreciation for the 50K you even received. How many times have you attended another person's wedding and given them 50K? You are very ungrateful which is a very bad attitude to have towards those who have taken the time and made an effort to attend your wedding. Just leave that couple alone and appreciate that they were at your wedding. You even have the nerve to say they should have sent you 500K instead of using that money to buy the ticket to fly down for your wedding; as if you are the one that put the money in their account in the first place. Lastly, learn to MYOB as it is NOT IN YOUR PLACE NEITHER IS IT YOUR BUSINESS TO DICTATE HOW THE COUPLE IN QUESTION OR ANY OTHER PERSON WHO ATTENDED YOUR WEDDING DECIDE HOW OR WHAT THEY SHOULD BE SPENDING THEIR MONEY ON.

9 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by shege45: 2:58am On Nov 21, 2019
AjayOfficial:
Okay just recently my cousin got married,wedding ceremony was held in the east, Enugu state to be precise. A lot of people graced the occasion from far and near across states in Nigeria, but d attendants that got my attention was a family friend,a couple that flew in from Kenya. They are Nigerians but now based in Kenya. I took care of their travel arrangement and here is the breakdown;
: Return ticket from Kenya to Lagos N290k ×2 = 580k
: Return ticket Lagos to Owerri (because Enugu airport is closed) 46k × 2 = 92k
: Land transportation Owerri to Enugu 25k (chartered car)
: Hotel (5 nights) 75k
: chartered cab to move around 40k
Then feeding and other miscellaneous expenses which I cannot calculate, but those expenses listed above amounted to N712k.
So my thought was why not stay put in Kenya and send the couple even 500k and do video call to congratulate them rather than spending that much to come down here to shake their hands,take photographs and give them 50k inside brown envelope (that is the amount my cousin said the man gave him).

So guys what do u think, I don't know if am making sense oh but that is my own opinion to the matter.
wait i want to understand something here. Was it your money or theirs? Because if it was their u shouldn’t ne thinking of this

4 Likes

Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by masam(m): 4:34am On Nov 21, 2019
@op so because you have the priviledge of preparing their travel documents and flight schedule you now went and discussed such confidentiality with the celebrant.

For what? So she will feel offended with the couple that made sacrifice in cash and kind to grace their wedding and also gave her 50k.

Op you are the dangerous person here, relatives like you are the reason why no one knows whenever am coming into town or leaving.

8 Likes

Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by ZIMDRILL(m): 4:48am On Nov 21, 2019
AjayOfficial:
Okay just recently my cousin got married,wedding ceremony was held in the east, Enugu state to be precise. A lot of people graced the occasion from far and near across states in Nigeria, but d attendants that got my attention was a family friend,a couple that flew in from Kenya. They are Nigerians but now based in Kenya. I took care of their travel arrangement and here is the breakdown;
: Return ticket from Kenya to Lagos N290k ×2 = 580k
: Return ticket Lagos to Owerri (because Enugu airport is closed) 46k × 2 = 92k
: Land transportation Owerri to Enugu 25k (chartered car)
: Hotel (5 nights) 75k
: chartered cab to move around 40k
Then feeding and other miscellaneous expenses which I cannot calculate, but those expenses listed above amounted to N712k.
So my thought was why not stay put in Kenya and send the couple even 500k and do video call to congratulate them rather than spending that much to come down here to shake their hands,take photographs and give them 50k inside brown envelope (that is the amount my cousin said the man gave him).

So guys what do u think, I don't know if am making sense oh but that is my own opinion to the matter.

they got invited to your cousin wedding and you had to pay for them to fly from kenya to nigeria

why did you pay for them, people get invited to weddings those who can't come due to whatever reason are not your responsibility

if their were your parents we would understand but these are family friends
Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by cococandy(f): 6:14am On Nov 21, 2019
grin Op has retreated

1 Like

Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by Baldwretch: 7:49am On Nov 21, 2019
bukatyne:


First, I do not understand the entitlement mentality that makes you think that your cousin is entitled to the family's N500k.

Even your thread asks if it is fair. Fair to whom? Who is the wronged party here? Do a couple cannot decide how to spend their N712k again?

Secondly, that couple in addition to attending your cousin's wedding hooked up with relatives, lost friends, reconnected with Nigeria, enjoyed road trips and even had a mini-honeymoon.

I think it is poverty that makes us value money above the presence and show of love.

A relative I had not seen in years came for my wedding. She thought I had forgotten her till I told her a slang from years back and she laughed heartily.

The next time I saw her, she was dead.

I value that memory above whatever money she would have given us.

Experience, memories is key for me.

Gosh, we are too transactional.

That's right but e joor oo!! 712 for just air and road trip ke? Abeg, for the love of God, stay where you dey abeg, just send me 200k and we are all good. Poverty also has a bearing and poor man gat to follow its directions. No choice. No need to do agidi.
Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by Baldwretch: 7:52am On Nov 21, 2019
kingphilip:
Maybe na poor man mentality de make me reason say the presence is better than the presents

But if both of us grab wella, the souvenir go weigh pass the #50,000. If I be billionaire, I no go need #500,000 now.

Las Las all man need hustle make presence + #50,000 present better pass absence + #500,000

Shey na presence we go chop after wedding? When you no be Jesus Christ?

Abegi jor!!! The presents is better than the presence.
Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by Coldplay007(f): 7:53am On Nov 21, 2019
Baldwretch:


That's right but e joor oo!! 712 for just air and road trip ke? Abeg, for the love of God, stay where you dey abeg, just send me 200k and we are all good. Poverty also has a bearing and poor man gat to follow its directions. No choice. No need to do agidi.


Nigerian entitlement mentality.. lol.
Na your money? It's more of a holiday for them. A time for them to come back to their country..

Another thing.. Is Asaba Airport not closer to Enugu?

5 Likes

Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by Baldwretch: 8:02am On Nov 21, 2019
Coldplay007:


Nigerian entitlement mentality.. lol.
Na your money? It's more of a holiday for them. A time for them to come back to their country..

Another thing.. Is Asaba Airport not closer to Enugu?

That's why I said she's right. People should spend their money how they deem fit, whether on frivolities or a cruise vacation or a wedding, lol, but hmm, if these folks were to consult me, lol, before my wedding and they laid bare the expenses before me, lol, I go just jejely beg them with tears to give me 200k and stay where they are abeg. Local man cannot now can grin grin grin shocked shocked cheesy wink wink
Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by Acidosis(m): 8:15am On Nov 21, 2019
OP, why do you travel home for Christmas? How much do you spend on the trip? And how much do you give your parents?

3 Likes

Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by prizlezzlalasky(f): 8:24am On Nov 21, 2019
Why are people so ungratefully?
With all the sacrifice they made, you and your cousins still had the nerve to be analysing their efforts, I wish the couple would stumble on this your post so that they will know the kind of relatives you and your cousins are.
Nonsense and ingredients.

5 Likes

Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by farady(m): 12:27pm On Nov 21, 2019
That couple simply used one stone to kill many birds. Their coming for the wedding showed their sincere love for the couple and family. It was a family reunion for them; seeing relations they haven't seen for a very long time. No amount of money can equal the feelings of physically meeting your peeps after a long while. Even if they send that N500k as you would have preferred, some family members will still say they are being pompous bla bla bla

2 Likes

Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by Nikkol: 3:09pm On Nov 21, 2019
They didn't come just for the wedding OK. They had other things to attend to.

1 Like

Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by skultrick(m): 4:03pm On Nov 21, 2019
But Op what's your concern, is it your money. You should channel this energy towards making your own money make you no go hife your face.
Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by LewsTherin: 4:14pm On Nov 21, 2019
Mehn see bashing! Nairaland art vexed!!

1 Like

Re: Can We Reason These Together; Is It Fair Or Not? by ednut1(m): 5:21pm On Nov 21, 2019
Op go find work. Na only una them come see for 9ja

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