CHoccolaTE:


Who is fighting this one? Mtsheew

Busy Mode. K. Enjoy

When you as a grown ass man, with a job, a house and a car, start chasing an undergraduate girl in her late teens or early twenties, in the name of marriage, biko what else do you want her to bring to the table aside from her good character and support towards your goal?

So, you want a girl that you are older than by almost a decade to bring a car, a house and a well paid job to the table at that age?

Did you as a man, have a car, a house and a well paid job in your late teens, early twenties or even mid to late twenties?

You guys would look down on ladies in your age range that can pull same financial weight as and be running after very young girls, and still have the guts to come online to ask what they can bring to the table.

Brother, you didn't see that aunty in your neighbourhood that is not only bringing things to the table, but is the table herself?

For those that do not understand the meaning of "support " (they seem to be many) , I decided to help.

1. bear all or part of the weight of; hold up

2. give assistance to, especially financially.
"the government gives £2,500 million a year to support the voluntary sector"

3. a thing that bears the weight of something or keeps it upright.

4. provide with a home and the necessities of life.
"my main concern was to support my family"

She must be a brainiac to compliment the man's effort for your home, school,estate etc cleaning ,prolific giant cleaning services is your best bet,a trial will convince you

crackhaus:

You're using the exceptional cases of men marrying a woman because of the financial support they can get from her?
Okay then, in these cases the man is providing her with his good character, peace of mind, and 'support'.

E still balance now abi?



See this is why you are one of the few ladies here I still fancy - you dey talk truth.

Although the question was what you should have before marriage, not what happens after it. But you try.

So I guess this means you are of the belief that a woman MUST bear her husband's surname with no argument whatsoever.

E no balance joor

Let us be realistic here. Men marry women beyond their age a lot. Now, when he is out there working, she is still in school. By the time u are out of school, u don marry. If u refuse to marry and start hunting for jobs, they will brand u evening newspaper. And as u are thinking of what to do with your life and future, u are already pregnant. So tell me, what do u have them do in this situation? Few are lucky, got jobs before marriage.
Then again,men feel very intimidated marrying a made women. They want a woman they can Lord over. So it gels well marrying her when she is still in school or serving to massage his ego that she is dependant on him.

I am indifferent to names one bear after marriage. What I'm after is what names our properties are registered on, and u, the man treating me like a human being before a woman as long as I treat u the same way. We are good.

Ezeanna:
When you as a grown ass man, with a job, a house and a car, start chasing an undergraduate girl in her late teens or early twenties, in the name of marriage, biko what else do you want her to bring to the table aside from her good character and support towards your goal?

So, you want a girl that you are older than by almost a decade to bring a car, a house and a well paid job to the table at that age?

Did you as a man, have a car, a house and a well paid job in your late teens, early twenties or even mid to late twenties?

You guys would look down on ladies in your age range that can pull same financial weight as and be running after very young girls, and still have the guts to come online to ask what they can bring to the table.

Brother, you didn't see that aunty in your neighbourhood that is not only bringing things to the table, but is the table herself?

Hmmmmmm

Another POV.

Ezeanna:
When you as a grown ass man, with a job, a house and a car, start chasing an undergraduate girl in her late teens or early twenties, in the name of marriage, biko what else do you want her to bring to the table aside from her good character and support towards your goal?

So, you want a girl that you are older than by almost a decade to bring a car, a house and a well paid job to the table at that age?

Did you as a man, have a car, a house and a well paid job in your late teens, early twenties or even mid to late twenties?

You guys would look down on ladies in your age range that can pull same financial weight as and be running after very young girls, and still have the guts to come online to ask what they can bring to the table.

Brother, you didn't see that aunty in your neighbourhood that is not only bringing things to the table, but is the table herself?

I didnt see this

They get erection demeaning women.
Woman this woman that every day.
Stay on your own na, and leave women alone.
Yet u want her to leave her papa house, go to another state with another culture if possible and bear children that answers your name. U are still looking for what she will bring.
What is wrong with these people?

As far as marriage is concerned especially in Nigeria, women are short changed.

sassysure:

E no balance joor

Let us be realistic here. Men marry women beyond their age a lot. Now, when he is out there working, she is still in school. By the time u are out of school, u don marry. If u refuse to marry and start hunting for jobs, they will brand u evening newspaper. And as u are thinking of what to do with your life and future, u are already pregnant. So tell me, what do u have them do in this situation? Few are lucky, got jobs before marriage.
Then again,men feel very intimidated marrying a made women. They want a woman they can Lord over. So it gels well marrying her when she is still in school or serving to massage his ego that she is dependant on him.

I am indifferent to names one bear after marriage. What I'm after is what names our properties are registered on, and u, the man treating me like a human being before a woman as long as I treat u the same way. We are good.

Why e go balance for una eye?

Anyway, I believe the point has been made on the thread so far. All this you're typing na just excess load to divert from the main issue which is that a lot of you are not able to list any tangible thing a woman should have before marriage.
One of una is already blaming society and religion for not having anything in her life, lol..

To think I was even expecting a woman to list things like:
1. Good job/business
2. Above average university/college degree
3. Virginity
Etc...
Tangible things and the sort, at least you get the point.

But it's almost as if you people don't even put value in anything that does not have currency symbols attached to it, and you wonder why people keep wondering what women bring to the table.

Some even erroneously claim that it's only money men bring to the table.
Well if it's that easy to bring the bulk of the finances to the table before getting married, why aren't more women doing it?
Let me guess - they can't because of men, society, & religion.

Support,
Peace of mind,
Good character,
Children...
These are the only things a so-called modern & woke independent woman has to offer.

What then is the difference between this one and those women who didn't have rights to education or enfranchisement in the workforce?

It will differ on a case by case basis, depends on the couple.

She may not be expected to be the breadwinner but here are some standard things nowadays:
A working skill set, some form of credentials, culinary skills, her salary, attractiveness etc

Some couples are just fine and comfortable with the more extreme ‘traditional’ route but how many people actually have the bandwidth/flexibility to live on that dynamic? Not most average people

Funny thread ..

As if Nigerian men always bring enough money to the table.
Because the economy is so good and they are so innovative.
And besides that, what else?
How many can hold an intelligent conversation without recycling the same old stuff or instead of critical thinking use the Bible?
Ask a Nigerian man to fix a pipe in the bathroom or your computer.

You get the idea.

crackhaus:

Why e go balance for una eye?

Anyway, I believe the point has been made on the thread so far. All this you're typing na just excess load to divert from the main issue which is that a lot of you are not able to list any tangible thing a woman should have before marriage.
One of una is already blaming society and religion for not having anything in her life, lol..

To think I was even expecting a woman to list things like:
1. Good job/business
2. Above average university/college degree
3. Virginity
Etc...
Tangible things and the sort, at least you get the point.

But it's almost as if you people don't even put value in anything that does not have currency symbols attached to it, and you wonder why people keep wondering what women bring to the table.

Some even erroneously claim that it's only money men bring to the table.
Well if it's that easy to bring the bulk of the finances to the table before getting married, why aren't more women doing it?
Let me guess - they can't because of men, society, & religion.

Support,
Peace of mind,
Good character,
Children...
These are the only things a so-called modern & woke independent woman has to offer.

What then is the difference between this one and those women who didn't have rights to education or enfranchisement in the workforce?

U are going the oyibo way
As far as Nigeria is concerned, what will u bring equals money

Education is already there. The number of Nigerian girls that attend higher institution is greater than boys so who marry nowadays without going to school?
Secondly, women who didn't go to school are skilled in various trades.
See, women bring more actually. Stop twisting this.
As for emotional support etc, makes no difference.
Unless u mean legal banging . Still women lead here
Even managing the 4 seconds man or one that looks like one of my fingers

sassysure:

U are going the oyibo way
As far as Nigeria is concerned, what will u bring equals money

Education is already there. The number of Nigerian girls that attend higher institution is greater than boys so who marry nowadays without going to school?
Secondly, women who didn't go to school are skilled in various trades.
See, women bring more actually. Stop twisting this.
As for emotional support etc, makes no difference.
Unless u mean legal banging . Still women lead here
Even managing the 4 seconds man or one that looks like one of my fingers

I don't think anyone has stated the opposite of this so far, but when you women are given the opportunity to talk about your worth, you can't even do yourselves the favor by listing these things that are so much, without adding some emotional tantrum in the mix.

You even mentioned being skilled in various trades - why are your sisters not mentioning things like that?

If women have no confidence in themselves regarding the tangible things they ought to have before getting married, how then do you expect anyone else to think or give honour to people who don't even believe they should be honoured for anything other than currency?

Blame men, society, and religion, in your next response. I'm waiting,

For me - come with a career/job.
Don't buy into marriage proposal until you have a career.

crackhaus:

Bukatyne, generally speaking, what should a woman have before marriage?

I fancy questions like this because it is such a proof of a woman's inherently inferior nature (due to her own perception of herself), and it is exactly why a lot of women will keep receiving the short end of the stick in every society on earth.

This thread can get to 50pages and I bet NL women will not list anything different from good character, support, etc - it will always be intangible things, never anything of substance.

It's embarrassing.

Wonderful.

crackhaus:

Na wah oo.

Didn't you already say it was ONLY good character and support you had to offer before you got married?

If you had something else, talk na before accusing me of jumping into anything.

Lmao...

I don't know how these women do it but I've always believed that a woman should have a source of income before marriage. A man or woman who cannot take care of their kids is worse than an infidel! How you just go to man's house expecting him to take care of all your needs is beyond me.

armyofone:
For me - come with a career/job. Don't buy into marriage proposal until you have a career.

Simple.

Ezeanna:
When you as a grown ass man, with a job, a house and a car, start chasing an undergraduate girl in her late teens or early twenties, in the name of marriage, biko what else do you want her to bring to the table aside from her good character and support towards your goal?

So, you want a girl that you are older than by almost a decade to bring a car, a house and a well paid job to the table at that age?

Did you as a man, have a car, a house and a well paid job in your late teens, early twenties or even mid to late twenties?

You guys would look down on ladies in your age range that can pull same financial weight as and be running after very young girls, and still have the guts to come online to ask what they can bring to the table.

Brother, you didn't see that aunty in your neighbourhood that is not only bringing things to the table, but is the table herself?

Thank you for this.
You marry a woman that is just graduating from school, and abandon those your single collegues working in the same bank, hospital as you and perhaps even earning more. Yet you can open mouth and be asking for what she's bringing to the table in marriage.
Many women who married on graduation usually end up finding their own feet afterwards, which is normal. Some even end up supporting their home when the man's business/work goes down.
Not everyman is a success story. I know too many examples of families where the wives ended up being the only reasonable financial support in their home even though it wasn't so when they first got married.
It's funny how it's the unmarried folks speaking what they know nothing about .
Where are the married men here to tell us what their wives bring to the table? It's an anonymous forum, so your secrets are safe. If you have a big boy persona you project on NL, open another account to share your stories.
I repeat, I have seen too many married women working their ars.es off to feed their children and husband to believe all the hocus pocus of women not bringing anything to the table.
I see too many female bankers, nurses, lawyers, doctors, teachers, insurance marketers, market traders, instagram sellers etc to believe women don't bring anything to the table. Infact, most times the husbands of these relatively successful women are not bringing a quarter of what they bring to the table.

In this same Nigeria where the poverty level is second to non, and hustlers everywhere. Please, where are you guys seeing the men with their own houses getting married? Only very few have their own houses before getting married pls.
If men are getting married with their own cars, houses, and set financially then Nigeria shouldn't be seen as a poverty ridden country where majority live less than one dollar a day. Abi, are the statistics wrong? Is there no longer poverty in Nigeria, where graduates are grudgingly given 30K as wages? Abi is it not in the same Nigeria?
Every woman should know where she is going in life. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Getting married and having children shouldn't be seen as a goal, so please remove that from your list of achievements. That one is just one of life's processes.
Never let marriage engulf you, and stop you from living. If you have only 1 or maximum 2 children, you have done your own part/reproductive job for nature. Get family planning, and start living.
Your purpose on earth goes beyond your husband and children. I love children, I love men. Don't get me wrong, but there is a greater purpose.

Mindfulness:
Funny thread ..

As if Nigerian men always bring enough money to the table.
Because the economy is so good and they are so innovative.
And besides that, what else?
How many can hold an intelligent conversation without recycling the same old stuff or instead of critical thinking use the Bible?
Ask a Nigerian man to fix a pipe in the bathroom or your computer.

You get the idea.

As in, how many can even change tyre sef? So annoying. Every little thing, they will get electrician, vulcanizer, plumber, carpenter, generator repairer. For just simple DIY jobs in the home. God help you if it's a Sunday when those artisans don't come.
I'm always amazed when I hear stupid talks about Nigerian women not bringing anything to the table, when I see women everywhere around me doing great stuffs for their families. Is it that others are blind or have purposely chosen selective blindness? I know very few families, very few where the women are not pulling their financial weight. I also know a lot where the women are the only ones with any weight at all.
Funny enough, I don't think I have any friend who's a housewife and not working. It's only on NL I hear about them.

yeyeosoronga:

As in, how many can even change tyre sef? So annoying. Every little thing, they will get electrician, vulcanizer, plumber, carpenter, generator repairer. For just simple DIY jobs in the home. God help you if it's a Sunday when those artisans don't come.
I'm always amazed when I hear stupid talks about Nigerian women not bringing anything to the table, when I see women everywhere around me doing great stuffs for their families. Is it that others are blind or have purposely chosen selective blindness? I know very few families, very few where the women are not pulling their financial weight. I also know a lot where the women are the only ones with any weight at all.
Funny enough, I don't think I have any friend who's a housewife and not working. It's only on NL I hear about them.

Don't challenge them to do it if you don't want to have an accident. Ask them to set up a piece of furniture and the shelf will fall on your head. Then they will brag how they can paint the walls ... dude, I did that in my student years already in my first apartment.

House, cars and money when some nursing mothers can't even rely on their husbands to cover the hospital bills or simple medication. Abeg! Which country are we talking about? No money, no skills, no intellect but discussing how a woman's only purpose in life is to serve them. They won't lift a finger around the house but then ask you to contribute financially. The audacity!

Seriously, I don't understand why Nigerian women dream of marriage to these men. Brain washing at its best leading to self-destructive behavior.

crackhaus:

Why e go balance for una eye?

Anyway, I believe the point has been made on the thread so far. All this you're typing na just excess load to divert from the main issue which is that a lot of you are not able to list any tangible thing a woman should have before marriage.
One of una is already blaming society and religion for not having anything in her life, lol..

To think I was even expecting a woman to list things like:
1. Good job/business
2. Above average university/college degree
3. Virginity
Etc...
Tangible things and the sort, at least you get the point.

But it's almost as if you people don't even put value in anything that does not have currency symbols attached to it, and you wonder why people keep wondering what women bring to the table.

Some even erroneously claim that it's only money men bring to the table.
Well if it's that easy to bring the bulk of the finances to the table before getting married, why aren't more women doing it?
Let me guess - they can't because of men, society, & religion.

Support,
Peace of mind,
Good character,
Children...
These are the only things a so-called modern & woke independent woman has to offer.

What then is the difference between this one and those women who didn't have rights to education or enfranchisement in the workforce?

Crackhaus you dey worry i tell you truth.

ImaIma1:


You finish work!

While virginity is admirable and good to maintain till marriage, it is not as important as a good character and a wife that gives her husband piece of mind and support.

So you are saying :

A man can be a thief and be honest at the same time.
That "good character" in itself is isolated.

How do you measure a woman's character? Are you saying a woman can sleep with 1, 2, 3 or 4 men in her lifetime and still posses "good character"?

Why all these childish assumptions? Your statements are akin to building a castle using sand.

When the law says; anyone who commits crime A is subject to arrest and prosecution. When you commit that crime "A" are you not in risk of
arrest and prosecution.

If a girl willingly loses her virginity, it says a great deal about her character; the same way missing government funds says a lot about a government officials character.

All these children looking for good character in women; seem to be looking for something else not wives.
Seems this good character connotes/denotes something besides morality and values.

Mindfulness:


Don't challenge them to do it if you don't want to have an accident. Ask them to set up a piece of furniture and the shelf will fall on your head. Then they will brag how they can paint the walls ... dude, I did that in my student years already in my first apartment.

House, cars and money when some nursing mothers can't even rely on their husbands to cover the hospital bills or simple medication. Abeg! Which country are we talking about? No money, no skills, no intellect but discussing how a woman's only purpose in life is to serve them. They won't lift a finger around the house but then ask you to contribute financially. The audacity!

Seriously, I don't understand why Nigerian women dream of marriage to these men. Brain washing at its best leading to self-destructive behavior.

@bold, na that one naim worse pass.

They just want to go out and come back anytime they like but women must cut off their own heads to please them.

Many of them don't do jack financially, they spend money on sidechicks and abandon their children but their wives provide money and keep silent out of shame and because she wants to bear Mrs.

GrossPrice:


So you are saying :

A man can be a thief and be honest at the same time.
That "good character" in itself is isolated.

How do you measure a woman's character? Are you saying a woman can sleep with 1, 2, 3 or 4 men in her lifetime and still posses "good character"?

Why all these childish assumptions? Your statements are akin to building a castle using sand.

When the law says; anyone who commits crime A is subject to arrest and prosecution. When you commit that crime "A" are you not in risk of
arrest and prosecution.

If a girl willingly loses her virginity, it says a great deal about her character; the same way missing government funds says a lot about a government officials character.

All these children looking for good character in women; seem to be looking for something else not wives.
Seems this good character connotes/denotes something besides morality and values.

Are you saying all virgins have good character? Or the men that have slept with 10 women that still demand for virgins are good or bad people?

Does a woman having sex before she is married automatically means that she is a bad person?

You don't understand my statement because you have chosen to twist it. I simply meant that being a virgin is not enough if other important aspects are missing.

But then again...I am only responsible for what I say and not for how you choose to interpret it

ireneidiva:

I don't know how these women do it but I've always believed that a woman should have a source of income before marriage. A man or woman who cannot take care of their kids is worse than an infidel! How you just go to man's house expecting him to take care of all your needs is beyond me.

You have said more than most here, you and Bukatyne. I like your honesty.


At least you're not like some who are angry because their man is not a vulcanizer, plumber, and electrician combined...when very little change can hire these workers.
As if that's what they were told to talk about on the thread.

DBestDoc:


Crackhaus you dey worry i tell you truth.

I like female doctors, just thought you should know...

armyofone:
For me - come with a career/job.
Don't buy into marriage proposal until you have a career.

For her own good

yeyeosoronga:
In this same Nigeria where the poverty level is second to non, and hustlers everywhere. Please, where are you guys seeing the men with their own houses getting married? Only very few have their own houses before getting married pls.
If men are getting married with their own cars, houses, and set financially then Nigeria shouldn't be seen as a poverty ridden country where majority live less than one dollar a day. Abi, are the statistics wrong? Is there no longer poverty in Nigeria, where graduates are grudgingly given 30K as wages? Abi is it not in the same Nigeria?
Every woman should know where she is going in life. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Getting married and having children shouldn't be seen as a goal, so please remove that from your list of achievements. That one is just one of life's processes.
Never let marriage engulf you, and stop you from living. If you have only 1 or maximum 2 children, you have done your own part/reproductive job for nature. Get family planning, and start living.
Your purpose on earth goes beyond your husband and children. I love children, I love men. Don't get me wrong, but there is a greater purpose.

How have I missed this comment? 1000 likes! According to this thread Nigeria is ElDorado.
But wait, if they don't have a house, a car, money and not even a job, what else do men bring to the table?

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

At least two left hands.

Ezeanna:
When you as a grown ass man, with a job, a house and a car, start chasing an undergraduate girl in her late teens or early twenties, in the name of marriage, biko what else do you want her to bring to the table aside from her good character and support towards your goal?

So, you want a girl that you are older than by almost a decade to bring a car, a house and a well paid job to the table at that age?

Did you as a man, have a car, a house and a well paid job in your late teens, early twenties or even mid to late twenties?

You guys would look down on ladies in your age range that can pull same financial weight as and be running after very young girls, and still have the guts to come online to ask what they can bring to the table.

Brother, you didn't see that aunty in your neighbourhood that is not only bringing things to the table, but is the table herself?

You’re the wisest individual on nairaland.

sassysure:

U are going the oyibo way
As far as Nigeria is concerned, what will u bring equals money

Education is already there. The number of Nigerian girls that attend higher institution is greater than boys so who marry nowadays without going to school?
Secondly, women who didn't go to school are skilled in various trades.
See, women bring more actually. Stop twisting this.
As for emotional support etc, makes no difference.
Unless u mean legal banging . Still women lead here
Even managing the 4 seconds man or one that looks like one of my fingers

Lmao


Interesting thread....


This thread deserves to be on fp


Cc lalasticlala Dominique

1) Nigerian women don’t bring anything to the table. That’s very rich coming from POOR guys in their 30s who consider women over 30 to be evening newspaper and as such not suitable for marriage. So that girl in her early 20s (prime marriageable age in their opinion) is supposed to bring to the table the same things that he has had a decade or more to acquire (And couldn’t even acquire BTW). Makes a lot of sense. Stupid.

2) when women do commit to try to better themselves so as not to be objects of ridicule at the hands of these misinformed disgusting misogynistic assholes, she must be shut down because women who have careers and aspirations beyond being always available for the family can never make good moms and wives since they will not have enough time to pay attention the needs of the man. Isn’t that what she’s existing for?

As soon as those of you on this thread who indulge them in what may seem like dialogue save your energies, the better for you . By now you should have figured out that whatever you say makes no difference since the main goal for them is to always be on the side of the argument that is currently belittling women no matter how nonsensical and detached from reality it is.

Even when their posts on each thread contradict each other but are always pandering to the POV that most belittle women at the moment. Even when they’ve had mothers and know women who contributed more than vagiina to the marriages and families. I can’t understand having civil conversations with known misogynistic trolls whose sole purpose is not to have a discourse with you but to try and demean you. You people are trying. Cuss them TF out and move on.

Threads like this will always keep popping up because for the average NL male poster, one day without a woman bashing thread is a day gone without food. You keep feeding them by acting like their stupid egotistic opinions matters to anyone but them and face-me-I-face apartments.

So going by the original post, it’s safe to assume that majority of men in Nigeria bring nothing to the table since we know that more than half the country is living in poverty. And all you’re expected to bring is a house and car. Yet many of you can’t even afford decent care for yourselves let alone a whole family.

Stupid thread.

Ezeanna:
W
Brother, you didn't see that aunty in your neighbourhood that is not only bringing things to the table, but is the table herself?

This statement had me in stitches