Here we go again....

Say no to marital rape ie sex without your partner's consent.

bukatyne:



If it doesn't work, she should spike his drink and sleep with him

She should also pray.

So, we have assumed the initial OP has a cheating husband and we are we trying to say his cheating is due to psychological reasons?
Wetin Musa no go see for gate
While Sigmund 'Fraud' is well known controversially in his field of psychology and perhaps even seen as the father by some, majority of his assertations have been proven to be 'catastrophically' wrong. His works are not seen as credible enough to be used as a reliable source in the academic environment. His theories, methods, and conclusions have all been put into doubt. He was a known misogynist btw.
To have even considered a theory by Mr 'Fraud' shows you are really old school in your thoughts.
There's more advancement in the knowledge of the human brain and its psychology, and there is very little empirical evidence to back up majority of Freud's claims.

But I guess we can still discuss his works, for the sake of discussions and not as facts

Madam OP, you are old school.

yeyeosoronga:
So, we have assumed the initial OP has a cheating husband and we are we trying to say his cheating is due to psychological reasons?
Wetin Musa no go see for gate
While Sigmund 'Fraud' is well known controversially in his field of psychology and perhaps even seen as the father by some, majority of his assertations have been proven to be 'catastrophically' wrong. His works are not seen as credible enough to be used as a reliable source in the academic environment. His theories, methods, and conclusions have all been put into doubt. He was a known misogynist btw.
To have even considered a theory by Mr 'Fraud' shows you are really old school in your thoughts.
There's more advancement in the knowledge of the human brain and its psychology, and there is very little empirical evidence to back up majority of Freud's claims.

But I guess we can still discuss his works, for the sake of discussions and not as facts

Madam OP, you are old school.

I am afraid I have to disagree with you. Not all of Sigmund Freud's theories have stood the test of time, some of them must be understood in the context of the zeitgeist they were formulated, but his apparatus of the human psyche is still widely accepted and his observation that our childhood shapes our personality critically and our relationships with others have meanwhile been supported by neurological evidence (brain scans). Different therapeutic approaches have been developed and are still used on the basis of his observations.

What Bukatyne has described here (I didn't know it had a name, happy to have learned something new) is something that happens to some men. They are unable to have a sexual relationship with the mother of their children. The problem is that in the worst case it may never be resolved. And I don't see the husband trying. I don't think any woman would sign up for till death do us part had she known.

Mindfulness:


I am afraid I have to disagree with you. [b][/b]Not all of Sigmund Freud's theories have stood the test of time, [b][/b]some of them must be understood in the context of the zeitgeist they were formulated, but his apparatus of the human psyche is still widely accepted and his observation that our childhood shapes our personality critically and our relationships with others have meanwhile been supported by neurological evidence (brain scans). Different therapeutic approaches have been developed and are still used on the basis of his observations.

What Bukatyne has described here (I didn't know it had a name, happy to have learned something new) is something that happens to some men. They are unable to have a sexual relationship with the mother of the children. The problem is that in the worst case it may never be resolved. And I don't see the husband trying. À

I'm glad you agree most of his theories have not stood the test of time. This madonna olosh.o one inclusive . It is a misogynistic ideology supporting patriarchy.
I love me some Sigmund Freud for discussion purposes, but not all his theories are correct.
The initial case is a peculiar one, as the husband truly believes semen can be passed through breast milk. That is an old wives tale, and I have HEARD it from at least 2 older women and even some young men. There's nothing to suggest any psychological issues with the husband, and nothing to suggest he doesn't find his wife desirable. He just wants to protect his baby and allow his child get adequate nutrition.
That is where science can come into play here. A simple explanation of how semen cannot travel into breast milk with some diagrams by their doctor perhaps may help disabuse his mind.

yeyeosoronga:


I'm glad you agree most of his theories have not stood the test of time. This madonna olosh.o one inclusive . It is a misogynistic ideology supporting patriarchy.
I love me some Sigmund Freud for discussion purposes, but not all his theories are correct.
The initial case is a peculiar one, as the husband truly believes semen can be passed through breast milk. That is an old wives tale, and I have HEARD it from at least 2 older women and even some young men. There's nothing to suggest any psychological issues with the husband, and nothing to suggest he doesn't find his wife desirable. He just wants to protect his baby and allow his child get adequate nutrition.
That is where science can come into play here. A simple explanation of how semen cannot travel into breast milk with some diagrams by their doctor perhaps may help disabuse his mind.

Like I said on the other thread, they lack intellect. Nothing to offer other than some small money.

Psychoses

LewsTherin:

This is not likely to work. Deep seated psychosis (what's the plural? Psycosi? Psycosises?)

Deep seated psycosis(?) like this are usually very irrational. It takes a trained mind to help resolve them. Especially (as is very likely) when the person doesn't believe there is anything wrong. Do you expect the average Nigerian to agree he is mad? That is exactly how they look at it. They wouldn't think it is a psycosis, or a mental blockage, or some fancy American diagnosis. It's gonna be "are you saying I am a mental patient?"

Therapy with a shrink would have been the best. In the absence of that, speaking with an experienced pastor would be the best option. Most pastors in Nigeria double as shrinks these days anyway. Little wonder they are all getting crazy!

LewsTherin:

This is not likely to work. Deep seated psychosis (what's the plural? Psycosi? Psycosises?)

Deep seated psycosis(?) like this are usually very irrational. It takes a trained mind to help resolve them. Especially (as is very likely) when the person doesn't believe there is anything wrong. Do you expect the average Nigerian to agree he is mad? That is exactly how they look at it. They wouldn't think it is a psycosis, or a mental blockage, or some fancy American diagnosis. It's gonna be "are you saying I am a mental patient?"

Therapy with a shrink would have been the best. In the absence of that, speaking with an experienced pastor would be the best option. Most pastors in Nigeria double as shrinks these days anyway. Little wonder they are all getting crazy!

I actually had therapy as a solution in my opening post.

I agree with most Nigerians not wanting anything with psychologists.

Hahahaha @ pastors getting crazy.

I think most of the older generation churches had pastors who are not open minded and just give generic advices they would not follow.

Most of them were (are) not qualified to counsel others.

LewsTherin:


Trade marked. Pay before use.

In cash or kind?

yeyeosoronga:
So, we have assumed the initial OP has a cheating husband and we are we trying to say his cheating is due to psychological reasons?
Wetin Musa no go see for gate
While Sigmund 'Fraud' is well known controversially in his field of psychology and perhaps even seen as the father by some, majority of his assertations have been proven to be 'catastrophically' wrong. His works are not seen as credible enough to be used as a reliable source in the academic environment. His theories, methods, and conclusions have all been put into doubt. He was a known misogynist btw.
To have even considered a theory by Mr 'Fraud' shows you are really old school in your thoughts.
There's more advancement in the knowledge of the human brain and its psychology, and there is very little empirical evidence to back up majority of Freud's claims.

But I guess we can still discuss his works, for the sake of discussions and not as facts

Madam OP, you are old school.

The husband in the OP stopped sleeping with his wife the day she was confirmed pregnant and intends to carry on till she weans the baby.

There was no mention of adultery and I would assume they had a good sex life till she got pregnant since she did not complain.

I like to look at the message and not the messenger. Yes, Sigmund Freud was known to be a misogynist however, MWS is more common than we think.

I knew someone that sent his wife to US 5mths into her pregnancy till she weaned her baby. Of course, she had helps and was comfortable however, he said he didn't want to see her in that state.

I hear a number of people say their sex life suffered temporarily/permanently during that stage especially when the husband actually experienced his wife giving birth. As someone put it: Ikan ti mo n ponle ni won se basubasu. (they were just mishandling what I held in high esteem). He had to sike himself for months before doing. When polygamy was widespread, the husbands had other wives so the birthing one could 'recuperate'.

It could also be the old wives' tale of sperm and breast milk was formed to acknowledge men's reluctance to mate with their breastfeeding wives.

No matter the politically correct research done to deny MWS, it exists and the best is to handle it on a case by case basis.

@Old school myself: I kinda agree. I am a liberal conservative

Mindfulness:


I am afraid I have to disagree with you. Not all of Sigmund Freud's theories have stood the test of time, some of them must be understood in the context of the zeitgeist they were formulated, but his apparatus of the human psyche is still widely accepted and his observation that our childhood shapes our personality critically and our relationships with others have meanwhile been supported by neurological evidence (brain scans). Different therapeutic approaches have been developed and are still used on the basis of his observations.

What Bukatyne has described here (I didn't know it had a name, happy to have learned something new) is something that happens to some men. They are unable to have a sexual relationship with the mother of their children. The problem is that in the worst case it may never be resolved. And I don't see the husband trying. I don't think any woman would sign up for till death do us part had she known.

@bold:

Hahahaha!

The husbands had mistresses for that. The women themselves didn't even understand their own sexuality which was treated as evil.

That's why you still hear crazy stuff like 'women shouldn't initiate sex', 'women shouldn't be too expressive', 'start suspecting your woman if she suggests something new', 'be worried if your wife suggests sex in the kitchen out of the blues' etc. etc.

These are statements from posh men who you would think should be enlightened and open minded.

That is why some of them have 'saintly' sex with their wives (who was probably someone's wild babe in the past) and keep side chics for adventure.

How would the husbands try when they can't even discuss it?

I will send my bill for the knowledge. I need to pay LewsTherin.

We still do learn and uphold some of Freud’s theories in preparation for comprehensive pediatric care.

He did indeed struggle with misogyny and sexual ‘misidentity’ (if you will) as did many men in his era. Nay even in this era.

yeyeosoronga:
So, we have assumed the initial OP has a cheating husband and we are we trying to say his cheating is due to psychological reasons?
Wetin Musa no go see for gate
While Sigmund 'Fraud' is well known controversially in his field of psychology and perhaps even seen as the father by some, majority of his assertations have been proven to be 'catastrophically' wrong. His works are not seen as credible enough to be used as a reliable source in the academic environment. His theories, methods, and conclusions have all been put into doubt. He was a known misogynist btw.
To have even considered a theory by Mr 'Fraud' shows you are really old school in your thoughts.
There's more advancement in the knowledge of the human brain and its psychology, and there is very little empirical evidence to back up majority of Freud's claims.

But I guess we can still discuss his works, for the sake of discussions and not as facts

Madam OP, you are old school.

cococandy:
We still do learn and uphold some of Freud’s theories in preparation for comprehensive pediatric care.

He did indeed struggle with misogyny and sexual ‘misidentity’ (if you will) as did many men in his era. Nay even in this era.

But it's only in retrospective people would call him that. When did he live and write? In the 1920s? One of his assumptions was that the many women who suffered from hysteria during his time did so because of suppressed sexual desires which they were expected to suppress back in the day, even partly in marriage, so I think that he was quite progressive and his diagnosis rather liberating.

bukatyne:


The husband in the OP stopped sleeping with his wife the day she was confirmed pregnant and intends to carry on till she weans the baby.

There was no mention of adultery and I would assume they had a good sex life till she got pregnant since she did not complain.

I like to look at the message and not the messenger. Yes, Sigmund Freud was known to be a misogynist however, MWS is more common than we think.

I knew someone that sent his wife to US 5mths into her pregnancy till she weaned her baby. Of course, she had helps and was comfortable however, he said he didn't want to see her in that state.

I hear a number of people say their sex life suffered temporarily/permanently during that stage especially when the husband actually experienced his wife giving birth. As someone put it: Ikan ti mo n ponle ni won se basubasu. (they were just mishandling what I held in high esteem). He had to sike himself for months before doing. When polygamy was widespread, the husbands had other wives so the birthing one could 'recuperate'.

It could also be the old wives' tale of sperm and breast milk was formed to acknowledge men's reluctance to mate with their breastfeeding wives.

No matter the politically correct research done to deny MWS, it exists and the best is to handle it on a case by case basis.

@Old school myself: I kinda agree. I am a liberal conservative

Today seems to be the day of terminology so please explain to me why you call yourself a liberal conservative.

Is the key word.

Mindfulness:


But it's only in retrospective people would call him that. When did he live and write? In the 1920s? One of his assumptions was that the many women who suffered from hysteria during his time did so because of suppressed sexual desires which they were expected to suppress back in the day, even partly in marriage, so I think that he was quite progressive and his diagnosis rather liberating.

bukatyne:


@bold:

Hahahaha!

The husbands had mistresses for that. The women themselves didn't even understand their own sexuality which was treated as evil.

That's why you still hear crazy stuff like 'women shouldn't initiate sex', 'women shouldn't be too expressive', 'start suspecting your woman if she suggests something new', 'be worried if your wife suggests sex in the kitchen out of the blues' etc. etc.

These are statements from posh men who you would think should be enlightened and open minded.

That is why some of them have 'saintly' sex with their wives (who was probably someone's wild babe in the past) and keep side chics for adventure.

How would the husbands try when they can't even discuss it?

I will send my bill for the knowledge. I need to pay LewsTherin.

Since men are the leaders women should follow them.

That hand - please dont touch me!!

TheArchangel:
I detest married priest, reverends or pastors. The mere fact that they had sex with their wives or anybody gives me the jitters. You can't be frolicking and then placing vagina-fluid coated fingers on my forehead in the name of prayers.... Or praying with a Pastor Wilson's-like mouth Ewwww.