₦airaland Forum

I am a staunch introvert, the kind that stays at home all day I really hate small talks and I can't talk to people for more than 5minutes.

When I call a lady hardly can we talk for a minute. Infact I hate calling. Now I had this experience when I visited my aunty and an ex of mine happen to stay in the same compound.

I noticed her boo calls her for like 2hours and she's always laughing with him. This was when I started realising my mistake when I was with her I hardly call and communicate and this has been happening with most of the ladies I meet and things are not working out.

Is there anyone with similar experience?

soon the AFC(average frustrated chumps of nairaland) will soon show up here with their stupidity telling you to go and hustle and stop thinking about women.

no woman is going to understand who you are because they gat no time and have their own problem

and you arent going to meet any girl that has the same interest like you do, most women will just pretend that they love what you love to make you happy

just because you are a stunt introvert does not stop you from having fun in life, you just have to come out from your shell and meet with people to improve your communication skills, understand small talk, build up your confidence by not giving a fucck, read a little bits of things and it not compulsory that you must talk with a woman on phone for 2 hours and stop comparing yourself with your ex present bf.

Why do you feel you have to be the one to do the calling and checking up and communicating. Why can't the girls put in effort into communicating too.

The only reason you feel you can't have conversations with girls is because you haven't met girls that you have similar interests with. When you eventually meet someone that shares your love and passion for certain things, you won't have shortage of things to discuss.

What you need is somebody that will understand who and what you are, simple

lilwetdick:
soon the AFC(average frustrated chumps of nairaland) will soon show up here with their stupidity telling you to go and hustle and stop thinking about women.

nobody is going to understand who you are because people gat no time and have their own problem

and you arent going to meet any girl that has the same interest like you do, most women will just pretend that they love what you love to make you happy

just because you are a stunt introvert does not stop you from having fun in life, you just have to come out from your shell and meet with people to improve your communication skills, understand small talk, build up your confidence by not giving a fucck, read a little bits of things and it not compulsory that you must talk with a woman on phone for 2 hours and stop comparing yourself with your ex present gf.

Mmmm 1 bottle of beer for you. I have started forcing myself to go out

CreepyBlackpool:
Why do you feel you have to be the one to do the calling and checking up and communicating. Why can't the girls put in effort into communicating too.

The only reason you feel you can't have conversations with girls is because you haven't met girls that you have similar interests with. When you eventually meet someone that shares your love and passion for certain things, you won't have shortage of things to discuss.

What you need is somebody that will understand who and what you are, simple

That's very true. Honestly I hate interacting with people but am getting really lonely

Loladearewa01:
Mmmm 1 bottle of beer for you. I have started forcing myself to go out

pls do, life is short, your youth is the time to enjoy, make mistakes and learn from mistakes, everything in this life is balance, believe me you wanna tell stories to your future children telling them how you ball and also enjoy life and work smart and hard

lilwetdick:
pls do, life is short, your youth is the time to enjoy, make mistakes and learn from mistakes, everything in this life is balance, believe me you wanna tell stories to your future children telling them how you ball and also enjoy life and work smart and hard

Twale baba

Loladearewa01:
I am a staunch introvert, the kind that stays at home all day I really hate small talks and I can't talk to people for more than 5minutes. When I call a lady hardly can we talk for a minute. Infact I hate calling. Now I had this experience when I visited my aunty and an ex of mine happen to stay in the same compound. I noticed her boo calls her for like 2hours and she's always laughing with him. This was when I started realising my mistake when I was with her I hardly call and communicate and this has been happening with most of the ladies I meet and things are not working out. Is there anyone with similar experience?

keep searching u fine ur kind of woman jare. Relationship talk does not have to be all that long. But it should be fun, insightful, futuristic,funny, just push a little bit of fun into ur talk ..ask questions,tease her,talk about the car that just passed ur area wen when u are oncall with her. Just play. Relax making a woman laugh is one of the he easiest thing to do o. Planet earth.have u notice thatsome people don't talk much but one word from them is bomb. You may be one of such...if I were u I will pick two option. Either becoming a better version of my introvert self or learn how to come out if it. The choice is very simple and which ever one u choose there are easy ways to come out of it. It's either u make a girl laugh or u learn how to laugh hen she talks in that way the road is smooth

madone:
keep searching u fine ur kind of woman jare. Relationship talk does not have to be all that long. But it should be fun, insightful, futuristic,funny, just push a little bit of fun into ur talk ..ask questions,tease her,talk about the car that just passed ur area wen when u are oncall with her. Just play. Relax making a woman laugh is one of the he easiest thing to do o. Planet earth.have u notice thatsome people don't talk much but one word from them is bomb. You may be one of such...if I were u I will pick two option. Either becoming a better version of my introvert self or learn how to come out if it. The choice is very simple and which ever one u choose there are easy ways to come out of it. It's either u make a girl laugh or u learn how to laugh hen she talks in that way the road is smooth

Thanks alot man

Only jobless boys calls for 2 hours... The highest I can do is 10 minute of you are not okay with it then roast it

Loladearewa01:
Thanks alot man

u welcome brother

Phelixblaq:
Only jobless boys calls for 2 hours... The highest I can do is 10 minute of you are not okay with it then roast it

Haha I was surprised.

YouTube videos would help, making an extrovert as a friend would also help.

Clinghton:
YouTube videos would help, making an extrovert as a friend would also help.

I feel I should just accept myself for who I am

u dont need to be a talkative or loudmouth to get a girl"s attention.its not every girl that likes a man who talks too much.just hang out with a girl who shares the same ideals with you.sometimes u can be with a girl and u two would be silent but then certain communications are still being shared .

Hustle so you won't have to spend 2 hours talking on phone.

Edit in year 2022: This is actually a wrong advice. Learn how to communicate, y’all. Money isn’t everything.

lefulefu:
u dont need to be a talkative or loudmouth to get a girl"s attention.its not every girl that likes a man who talks too much.just hang out with a girl who shares the same ideals with you.sometimes u can be with a girl and u two would be silent but then certain communications are still being shared .

Wow this makes alot of sense. I am a man of few words but lately I am beginning to be insecure about that

SenecaTheYonger:
Hustle so you won't have to spend 2 hours talking on phone.

As in I wonder what they keep saying Everytime

Loladearewa01:
As in I wonder what they keep saying Everytime

Maybe they're gossip partners - I doubt it's anything thoughtful.

While growing up, I hate it when someone is trying to make me talk, I hate it when people look at me, I came to realise later on that my self confidence was so low, but I never noticed it. Although am close to an introvert because my profession won't allow me to be a complete introvert, the possible solution is partially breaking out of my shell and improving the version that successfully got out of the shell, so you can be who you are, people should not twist and turn your personality solely because you want to please them, also improve your communication skills, communication is an essential ingredient in human co-existence, don't talk when you don't have anything sensible to say for the sake of talk, just learn to express yourself more frequently in a sensible and intresting way, my bro, enjoy your life while it lasts.

Grayjoy:
While growing up, I hate it when someone is trying to make me talk, I hate it when people look at me, I came to realise later on that my self confidence was so low, but I never noticed it. Although am close to an introvert because my profession won't allow me to be a complete introvert, the possible solution is partially breaking out of my shell and improving the version that successfully got out of the shell, so you can be who you are, people should not twist and turn your personality solely because you want to please them, also improve your communication skills, communition is an essential ingredient in human co-existence, don't talk when you don't have anything sensible to say for the sake of talk, just learn to express yourself more frequently in a sensible and intresting way, my bro, enjoy your life while it lasts.

Wow you made a strong point

Loladearewa01:
I am a staunch introvert, the kind that stays at home all day I really hate small talks and I can't talk to people for more than 5minutes. When I call a lady hardly can we talk for a minute. Infact I hate calling. Now I had this experience when I visited my aunty and an ex of mine happen to stay in the same compound. I noticed her boo calls her for like 2hours and she's always laughing with him. This was when I started realising my mistake when I was with her I hardly call and communicate and this has been happening with most of the ladies I meet and things are not working out. Is there anyone with similar experience?

How do you communicate with your colleagues at work? How do communicate with the market women, the cab drivers you meet daily etc? How do you express your anger when you feel the bus conductor is trying to play sharp on you?
How do you react when your tailor spoils your 'Men in agbada' attire?
Try the same methods.
More importantly, get involved with ladies that have same interest as you (betting, politics, religion reading, gaming, cars, etc,)... It is that simple.

paulsibility:
How do you communicate with your colleagues at work? How do communicate with the market women, the cab drivers you meet daily etc? How do you express your anger when you feel the bus conductor is trying to play sharp on you?
How do you react when your tailor spoils your 'Men in agbada' attire?
Try the same methods.
More importantly, get involved with ladies that have same interest as you (betting, politics, religion reading, gaming, cars, etc,)... It is that simple.

I hardly talk to these people. I have quite a muscular body and a no nonsense face that makes people serious around me

[b]

Loladearewa01:
the kind that stays at home all day I really hate small talks and I can't talk to people for more than 5minutes. When I call a lady hardly can we talk for a minute. Infact I hate calling.

This is so me mine is so worse that even when I'm at home, I don't sit much where the rest of my family are gathered to avoid talking or conversing for long. I prefer to be in my room, listen to music, surf the Internet, or quietly read something maybe a book, newspaper, magazine etc

Also at work I don't talk much buh i smile at every given opportunity. I'm the type of person that'll give a brief response to a particular topic other people are spending 2-5 minutes talking about. I've chased away a number of potential friends cus I can't keep up with excessive hangouts and conversations online and offline. Feels like stress, I get tired of it easily. it's also why I intentionally restrict myself from catching much emotions for the opposite sex. the moment I observe she's feeling me I slowly begin to withdraw and that's because I'm not sure I can keep up with the pace and expectations that come with relationships and i don't want to lead her on or make her believe I can give her that maximum time and affection specifically in the aspect of "communication".

I see how my colleagues talk with their girlfriends on the phone for hours and I'm like naaaah this cant be me yet.

wittyt98:
[b] This is so me mine is so worse that even when I'm at home, I don't like sitting where the rest of my family are gathered to avoid talking or conversing with anyone . I prefer to stay in my room all alone , listen to music and daydream even at work I don't talk much buh i smile at every given opportunity. I'm the type of person that'll give a 15-20 seconds reply to a particular topic other people are spending 2-5 minutes talking about.

Really. It's like you speaking through me. I always run away when I see people to avoid small talks. My room is locked 247 to worsen things am into freelance I.T so I work from home

Loladearewa01:
I am a staunch introvert, the kind that stays at home all day I really hate small talks and I can't talk to people for more than 5minutes. When I call a lady hardly can we talk for a minute. Infact I hate calling. Now I had this experience when I visited my aunty and an ex of mine happen to stay in the same compound. I noticed her boo calls her for like 2hours and she's always laughing with him. This was when I started realising my mistake when I was with her I hardly call and communicate and this has been happening with most of the ladies I meet and things are not working out. Is there anyone with similar experience?

Stay in your comfort zone the other side is scary from what I have heard.

Lightangel65:
Stay in your comfort zone the other side is scary from what I have heard.

That's right

Being an introvert does not mean you shouldn't be able to ginger your relationship with pet talks.. Ladies like to hear things they have never heard before ( real or fake)..

Jokes, meaningful conversations, future plans e.t.c

You really need to work on yourself