faithfull18:

Seems a lot of people didn't read the part where she said she didn't have issues with him going by Jan 2nd.

The only issue I think she was complaining about was him always spending Christmas and New year celebrations with his extended family and not his immediate family.

I am sure she doesn't also have issues with him going any other time of the year.

Yeah, most people didnt see that part.

At the same time she should have taken her time to explain the situation in the OP very well so that people could get where she was coming from and advise her appropriately. What she wrote originally just made her sound like a monster which is why everybody blasted her.

Her complaints were reasonable anyway; if care is not taken the children will leave the house having never spent Christmas with their father.

The husband is just emotional because of the strain of his dad being chronically ill so he just jumps to obey whatever message they send him without thinking of the effect on his immediate family. I can understand both of them sha. Its tough on all the family when somebody is sick.

All of you should be ready to manage the hunger for January.
Let him go and see his aged parents.
Just get enough food for your children for January, and insist he drops enough for you guy before he travels.

MrBrownJay1:


... how NOT going to see his dying dad gonna change anything about the above in bold?!?!?!?

He will have time to work his uber job during the holidays, I guess.
The little the man has made so far will be spent in the village, and he will come home broke. The OP is tired of bearing January's expenses alone, and also scared of the 'no money mantra' , as the Landlord will not accept abeg sir

bryanarchie:


dad is really really sick, can't travel the distance

He might die. Your husband should go visit.

Never mind other things. This could be the last time they see face to face before he passes. Those kinds of situations can’t be made up for once lost.

Just shelve whatever the issue is at this time and let him go see his dad. You guys can settle later. It’s important.

Glad it’s resolved. Wish you guys the best.

And strength to your father-in-law

bryanarchie:
thank you all for your responses, I really do appreciate...

yes, we stay in Nigeria and his dad is truly sick...

I he has decided to create our own Christmas memories and he will leave after Christmas, I also shared my worries about finances and he understands my fears...

the issue has been resolved, thank you..

Make person no go marry wrong wife. What did i just read

please matter has been settled, close the thread please... thank you I've learnt s lot, and the issue has been resolved...

bryanarchie:
please matter has been settled, close the thread please... thank you
I've learnt s lot, and the issue has been resolved...

I understand you perfectly dear, I’m a memory freak too. I love good memories and like making one. Thank God the issue has been resolved. You really love your husband and family for fighting for a chance to create a happy home and family memories for your household . Extend my good wishes to your family.

eyinjuege:
He will have time to work his uber job during the holidays, I guess.

... and you think that this will solve the issue at hand (aka fix all the unpaid bills)

The little the man has made so far will be spent in the village, and he will come home broke.

yes sometimes you have to spend money on "emergencies of life"....

The OP is tired of bearing January's expenses alone, and also scared of the 'no money mantra' , as the Landlord will not accept abeg sir

this man has all the right to use his money however he sees fit... if he wants to spend the little money he has (in December) on his dying father, then he has all the rights to do so. if OP does not like the way this man has been running their household all these years, she can either A) divorce him or B) join him to spend the holidays at his father's bedside too.

my father in law passed away today... ....

thank you all for your advice... I'm so happy that hubby made the trip...
I truly have s different orientation about life today...