Karleb:
Let us pretend time travel is now possible and we are 35 years into the future and you ask your married first son to come visit you but his wife didn't allow him because she wants them to spend time together, how would you feel?

what happened to going with him? must you be invited to go over to your in-law's?

boldx:
bryanarchie,

Let us assume your mother in law is not in good terms with you and she always complains about everything you do and she always nags about you anytime you are around.

Let also assume your husband reports you to his parents.

Please bear with him. Every trial is for a season. This will soon pass away. Don't allow the devil to sow seeds of hatred and resentment for your husband and his family. It is well. Please be strong.


I'll let him be and focus on my son and have s good time... thank you

bryanarchie:

thank you so much... I'll do just that, I'm still not happy but it is what it is... thank you

bryanarchie:
we've been through a lot as a couple and I'm really tired of trying to get my point through but to no avail.my hubby wants to travel home to his parents because he got an invitation from his very sick dad to come over for Christmas (I was not invited, long story).I do not want him to go this season (after new year is okay) because I want us to spend Christmas together (me him and our sons) we've never spent Christmas together in our home.when he travels, he comes back flat broke and I'm left with the burden of our home for January.I feel he should not abandon his uber business this season.I want us to crossover together as a family.he is insisting and I'm not having it....

please am I wrong, because his mother and father are in their home, why can't he stay with us.travelling with him is not an option.

bukatyne:


Madam,

You said your father in-law is sick and invited his son (your husband) over.

You don't want him to go because
1. You have never spent Christmas together
2. He will return broke and you will always bear the household expense for January

You are the embodiment of selfishness ma'am.

I don't know why other years you haven't spent Christmas together.

It is either you all go to be with his sick father or you pray for a safe trip and let him go visit his father.

If you already know that he will be broke every January, why don't you take up that responsibility? Agterall, he finances the home Feb - Dec.

Oya pray that every spirit of self-centredness will die by fire.

Yummymummy07:
Yes u r wrong ,let him go and take care of his dad. Remember that u r also a mother with sons and one day u may find urself in this position , how would you feel if one your sons stop him from visiting you while you are seriously ill.

bryanarchie:
his dad has been sick for years and I know he will not die...
but what about me and his son, why do we have to be alone...

I'm tired of going to my father's house for Christmas, I want to kill my own chicken, I feel bad....

bryanarchie:





thank you for understanding my point, I don't think he does...

bryanarchie:


I grew up in s home where Christmas is s big deal, I don't want to travel to my parents house seffff....
I want us to buy our own Christmas tree, kill our own chicken, shoot our own knockout. my parents gave me memories, I want to do the same for my son...

I may sound childish, stupid or self centered but yes I wsnt my family together....

bryanarchie:
thank you

he has post graduate school fees that he is way past the deadline, his car he uses for uber is bad, our son has been with my parents for three months because of finances, house rent comes up April and we've not saved one naira, children school fees first week of February, monthly upkeep too...

so when you judge me, think about this... I've personally financed myself and son to see his family ly. my salary is 43,ooon sis

MrBrownJay1:


... how NOT going to see his dying dad gonna change anything about the above in bold?!?!?!?

Fountainofyouth:
I don't understand that either...

bryanarchie:
no oooooooooooooo, my dear this our marriage has gone through s lot. he told me he was only invited.
all the time I've been there has always been s disaster, I don't want to try anymore.
actually I just want us to be alone, all this family family stuff is tiresome

Yummymummy07:
Yes u r wrong ,let him go and take care of his dad. Remember that u r also a mother with sons and one day u may find urself in this position , how would you feel if one your sons stop him from visiting you while you are seriously ill.

bryanarchie:
we've been through a lot as a couple and I'm really tired of trying to get my point through but to no avail.my hubby wants to travel home to his parents because he got an invitation from his very sick dad to come over for Christmas (I was not invited, long story).I do not want him to go this season (after new year is okay) because I want us to spend Christmas together (me him and our sons) we've never spent Christmas together in our home.when he travels, he comes back flat broke and I'm left with the burden of our home for January. I feel he should not abandon his uber business this season.I want us to crossover together as a family.he is insisting and I'm not having it....

please am I wrong, because his mother and father are in their home, why can't he stay with us.travelling with him is not an option.

Mindfulness:
To all of you who are reminding her that she will be old one day, why don't you remember that her husband will be old too? Will he not want his children around then? The same children he is leaving alone every Christmas to come back broke?

The problem is not that she doesn't want him to see his father. She agrees he goes in January. The problem is that her husband has never spent Christmas with his own family and handled the finances irresponsibly.

bryanarchie:


thank you

he has post graduate school fees that he is way past the deadline, his car he uses for uber is bad, our son has been with my parents for three months because of finances, house rent comes up April and we've not saved one naira, children school fees first week of February, monthly upkeep too...

so when you judge me, think about this... I've personally financed myself and son to see his family ly. my salary is 43,ooonsis

ThatPetiteChic:


https://www.nairaland.com/4966258/childs-welfare..we-need-advice

Here you said your salary is 95k
@bukatyne

midnighter:


But when she has grown-up sons with sons of their own, she will remember not to emotionally blackmail them into neglecting their immediate families in order to spend Christmas with her, won't she That's actually the lesson of this thread.

Your responsibility is to your wife and son before your parents. The guy doesn't have to go buzzing off every single Christmas. So all the children's memories will be "Daddy was always missing during the holidays?" That's too bad.

The lady said she doesn't mind him going by 2nd January, that one is okay for somebody who is married (since the relationship with in-laws is not good)

I can't imagine my father disappearing every Christmas and coming back in January, ha!