.

Iseeksolution:

It's almost my 10th year on Nairaland, but I'm sorry I had to open a new account to create this thread.

Naso!


The best selling line in recent times. Let's wait for the "advices" to pour in as usual.

Marriage ooo ooo ooo!

stay strong

send your account number let me give you something

Aunty take a break.

You guys need to separate (not divorce o!) at this junction and reevaluate your marriage.

You said he had a heart of gold when you guys were dating, so try and find out what went wrong.

There might be an underlying issue thats causing all the wahala.

silentEXPLOSION:
stay strong

send your account number let me give you something

I don't know what to say!

sinaj:
Aunty take a break.

You guys need to separate (not divorce o!) at this junction and reevaluate your marriage.

I am so scared!

This post is long
Are you sure you didn’t copy and past this
Op


Well the marriage is inconclusive �

This should not be a public discussion. I can only direct you to Mountain of Fire And Miracles Ministries, MFM. Ask of the Happy Home department at the International Headquarters at Yaba. They specialise in issues like this. They won't force you to become a member. Please, don't wear trousers as a lady while going. Dress decently. You will thank me later.

Dreal1247:
This should not be a public discussion. I can only direct you to Mountain of Fire And Miracles Ministries, MFM. Ask of the Happy Home department at the International Headquarters at Yaba. They specialise in issues like this. They won't force you to become a member. Please, don't wear trousers as a lady while going. Dress decently. You will thank me later.

Ironically, his parents are mountain of fire members. The father is a minister also... They have pushed me severally to ajagbandi to go for the 1 week dry fasting... I did that thrice.... Looking for a baby... When it came... And when I was about to travel.

This one done pass elders oh..... where are the gods?



Cc: Seun, lalasticlala

Im just alarmed at the rate of complaints I've read from marrieds these days on Nairaland.
It's frustrating!
I guess a lot of them have laid wrong foundations for their marriage hence these issues!

Can someone just tell me what people have not been doing right?

If the foundation is weak,it's hard to put a lot of things right later.
You have a husband who is ignorant and has character flaws.I really do not know how to advise to make him change now.

You were one of his many 'Facebook girls',I don't know how you can make him drop the rest now.

Anger is a difficult thing to deal with.People who easily get angry are to be avoided as much as possible.Now that you have married one,you need to look for triggers and avoid them.It will make you ignore and overlook many things but that's the only way to maintain peace.

Your health is what matters most to me.Get a good hospital,preferably a good government hospital close by.Go for your ante-natal clinics regularly and do all the tests you are told to.Get a second opinion from a qualified personnel if you are not sure of anything.You have once lost a baby so you need to be well monitored.

The idea of the husband telling a wife to stop work and the woman agreeing to be a dependant wife is what I don't understand.I've seen a few cases where it became very necessary but it shouldn't be a new marriage's first option.When you have your baby and has been nursed to an extent,you better start looking for a job.

thorpido:
If the foundation is weak,it's hard to put a lot of things right later.
You have a husband who is ignorant and has character flaws.I really do not know how to advise to make him change now.

You were one of his many 'Facebook girls',I don't know how you can make him drop the rest now.

This is exactly what I tell myself.... God!

eyefordetails:
Im just alarmed at the rate of complaints I've read from marrieds these days on Nairaland.
It's frustrating!
I guess a lot of them have laid wrong foundations for their marriage hence these issues!

Can someone just tell me what people have not been doing right?

Same reasoning I'm having...... lots of us rush into marriage either as a result of pressure or being naive. Even when errors in partners are visible, people think they can manage but alas...... trouble eventually overwhelms.

SeedofDavid:

Same reasoning I'm having...... lots of us rush into marriage either as a result of pressure or being naive. Even when errors in partners are visible, people think they can manage but alas...... trouble eventually overwhelms.

The former must be it. Pressure is in the air! Loneliness is not a good company. Every body wants someone to take away their pain! They end up with the availables!....

Well, sorry for what you're going through in your marriage. Though, I don't believe it's because you guys met through facebook because I also met my wife through same platform and we are doing well. However, with the attitude you claimed your husband fuelled at you all the time, I can't say anything on that because there must be a reason for such behaviour but I think you should give him a break for now, you can go to your mum and stay with her pending the time your child will come to the world. Pls consider your condition at least for now. Am sure everything will be sorted out by then.

Iseeksolution I know how you feel just be strong. Are you from Anambra?

zenithshipping:
Well, sorry for what you're going through in your marriage. Though, I don't believe it's because you guys met through facebook because I also met my wife through same platform and we are doing well. However, with the attitude you claimed your husband fuelled at you all the time, I can't say anything on that because there must be a reason for such behaviour but I think you should give him a break for now, you can go to your mum and stay with her pending the time your child will come to the world. Pls consider your condition at least for now. Am sure everything will be sorted out by then.

Thanks... I am glad it is working out for you.
My mum will make matters worse... She is always on his side.... Always... Maybe for her reputation... I don't even know.
As for my husband.... He even keeps pictures of his Ex(hard copies) ... Still in contact with some... It's crazy!

AmericanDad:
Iseeksolution I know how you feel just be strong. Are you from Anambra?

Yes....married to Imo

eyefordetails:


The former must be it. Pressure is in the air! Loneliness is not a good company. Every body wants someone to take away their pain! They end up with the availables!....

hmmmm..... it's rather unfortunate. God help us!!!

Iseeksolution:

Yes....married to Imo

Awwn my dear sister it is well okay. U know IMO men behave somehow and not like our men. Pls stay strong okay..This marriage thing can be somehow...iv experienced it n know how it actually feels

Iseeksolution:

Thanks... I am glad it is working out for you.
My mum will make matters worse... She is always on his side.... Always... Maybe for her reputation... I don't even know.
As for my husband.... He even keeps pictures of his Ex(hard copies) ... Still in contact with some... It's crazy!

I am sorry to say this, but it's the blatant truth : YOU GOT MARRIED TO A GROWN UP BOY.
Real men don't put their wives through emotional trauma.

Omoge, biko take things easy. Just relax and try not to be so bothered with his behavior anymore. Your health as well as the baby's should be priority now. Read about pregnancy and birthing healthy babies online, research about your hospital and generally get ready for a healthy baby. Good luck baby.

emeijeh:


I am sorry to say this, but it's the blatant truth : YOU GOT MARRIED TO A GROWN UP BOY.
Real men don't put their wives through emotional trauma.

Funny but he will be 35!

Iseeksolution:

Funny but he will be 35!

Age has nothing to do with maturity darling.
Be strong.

Family section is where it's happening

Iseeksolution:

Thanks... I am glad it is working out for you.
My mum will make matters worse... She is always on his side.... Always... Maybe for her reputation... I don't even know.
As for my husband.... He even keeps pictures of his Ex(hard copies) ... Still in contact with some... It's crazy!

Did you not see any of these pictures before marriage?

AmericanDad:


Awwn my dear sister it is well okay. U know IMO men behave somehow and not like our men. Pls stay strong okay..This marriage thing can be somehow...iv experienced it n know how it actually feels

Just shut up since you've no meaningful advice to give her. Of course, you can go to hell with whatever reply you may come up with, because I don't give attention to nincompoops.

@OP

It's obvious that you and your husband aren't of the same ethical leanings. You need to keep distance from him for now. Success of the union will now depend on the level of his sense of responsibility and tolerance - which are absent at the moment as evident in your story. But that everlasting ecstasy that a couple who're of the same ethical leanings usually enjoy can never be present in the union, regardless of circumstances - in other words, unity between two of you is possible in the long run, but both of you cannot achieve oneness or experience its benefits. He has to grow up.

Amanee:


Did you not see any of these pictures before marriage?

I wish I did.... And some are married now. But he still keeps them. I am so ashamed.

Iseeksolution:


Ironically, his parents are mountain of fire members. The father is a minister also... They have pushed me severally to ajagbandi to go for the 1 week dry fasting... I did that thrice.... Looking for a baby... When it came... And when I was about to travel.

You people have been handling the symptoms leaving the root cause of the problem. I know you will still enjoy your marriage as dreamt, but you need the right counselling and follow-up. I'm not on Lagos and I know that if you follow what I told you, you will testify. The parents membership to MFM may have little or nothing to do with the issue on around. They may not have the right knowledge on this issue. Moreover, they may be sentimental as noone gives them the right information. Neutral persons whom you can confide on is the best alternative. Mind you, safeguarding your marriage and home with the fear God should be a top priority in this matter.

AmericanDad:


Awwn my dear sister it is well okay. U know IMO men behave somehow and not like our men. Pls stay strong okay..This marriage thing can be somehow...iv experienced it n know how it actually feels

Ozuo

You discriminate against the tribes, you also discriminate within the same tribe.

The lady needs no advice. I'm sure the husband can keep conversations going thus the reason he got her to marry him through Facebook. Now, he'd had to continue the conversation with other girls.

Op, you deserve better but you refused to go for the better.

I really find it hard to have pity for your type.