I am 19 years old orphan , we are 4 children 2 boys and 2 girls , dad died 14 years ago and mum died 8 years ago. Am currently staying with my brother , his wife , my younger sister and their daughter. B4 my brother got married life was so good that he was taking good care of us and made us not missing our parents , he took care of all our needs and we were all going to school but ever since he got married , everything was completely wrong, after finishing secondary school , he told me schooling the 3 of us is consuming lots of money which he can’t afford to send I and my other brother to university at the same time , I have to stay at home until he get the money to send me back to school meanwhile I told him I want to learn handwork like catering or tailoring , he agreed but told me to wait and I have been waiting for 3 years now . When his wife had the baby , he told me to take care of the baby until she is at least 1 year and 6 months when she start school so I can go and learn tailoring too , which I was okey. I am not doing anything, his wife turned me into a maid , I take care of everything in the house , cooking , washing , cleaning , babysitting the baby from morning to night , I don’t have any free time for myself. The baby doesn’t sleep well at night so I have been taking care of her all night while her mum is fast asleep , I wake up tired every single morning and sometimes I don’t even have the strength to clean and if I don’t clean the house by the time she comes back from work , she will start insulting me and calling me names and even if I do the work she doesn’t appreciate me and she will always find faults. I was excited that my niece will be turning 1 year 6 months by May so I can go and learn tailoring so I can be happy again but my brother wife is pregnant again and they are expecting to be at home again when this new baby is born , they don’t care about my life , all they want from
Me to be spending all my life taking care of their children and they want me to be useless in the society. I just hate my life , I just want to leave the house and go far from them. Maybe he is treating us like this because we don’t share the same father , maybe if we were same father he would have treated us much better. I’m dying in pain and can’t stop crying

Eya, so sorry dear. But u need to understand that things change and life cannot always be permanent. Your brother now has more responsibility than he use to b4 he got married and trust me things aren't easy 4 him either. Having said that, like I said life cannot always be permanent and so do I believe in your current predicament.

Chinyerelove:
I am 19 years old orphan , we are 4 children 2 boys and 2 girls , dad died 14 years ago and mum died 8 years ago. Am currently staying with my brother , his wife , my younger sister and their daughter. B4 my brother got married life was so good that he was taking good care of us and made us not missing our parents , he took care of all our needs and we were all going to school but ever since he got married , everything was completely wrong, after finishing secondary school , he told me schooling the 3 of us is consuming lots of money which he can’t afford to send I and my other brother to university at the same time , I have to stay at home until he get the money to send me back to school meanwhile I told him I want to learn handwork like catering or tailoring , he agreed but told me to wait and I have been waiting for 3 years now . When his wife had the baby , he told me to take care of the baby until she is at least 1 year and 6 months when she start school so I can go and learn tailoring too , which I was okey. I am not doing anything, his wife turned me into a maid , I take care of everything in the house , cooking , washing , cleaning , babysitting the baby from morning to night , I don’t have any free time for myself. The baby doesn’t sleep well at night so I have been taking care of her all night while her mum is fast asleep , I wake up tired every single morning and sometimes I don’t even have the strength to clean and if I don’t clean the house by the time she comes back from work , she will start insulting me and calling me names and even if I do the work she doesn’t appreciate me and she will always find faults. I was excited that my niece will be turning 1 year 6 months by May so I can go and learn tailoring so I can be happy again but my brother wife is pregnant again and they are expecting to be at home again when this new baby is born , they don’t care about my life , all they want from
Me to be spending all my life taking care of their children and they want me to be useless in the society. I just hate my life , I just want to leave the house and go far from them. Maybe he is treating us like this because we don’t share the same father , maybe if we were same father he would have treated us much better. I’m dying in pain and can’t stop crying

I appreciate your high hopes, diligence and strong will to make it happen despite the problems.. It will definitely happen as you wish. You will become whatever you choose to be so far you don't loose guard.

To me, you're jumping the gun. You have to call your brother in his happy mood, appreciate his effort towards you and your siblings, jokingly let him know his promise and that you have kept your own bargain of the "deal" so, you would appreciate if he does so on his part. Tell him your mind that age and time is going and you have to achieve something for your life.

I think he would also think otherwise and see to what you have said. Be calm and make sure you don't deviate from the issue at hand. Don't bring the house chores or wife's issue into the conversation. Let it be strictly your issue, and how to get it done. Make sure you stand on your point of learning the trade. Don't argue if he shouts and gives unwarranted answers. Let him be. Trust me, he would rescind his decision..

Easy does it bro.. It is well.

Chai dis life self!!!!! just believe there's light at the end of the tunnel and you'll be fine though it will not come easy.

ppl sef.

Most Nigerians in your situation usually get married and start their own homes.

People might also offer you the option of prostitution, I would think carefully before going into that.

Marriage shouldn't prevent you from learning a trade.

Send me a DM I have something for you

I have one as my neighbor, he has been using his sister as househelp since 2008, she couldn't even finish secondary school. They sent her to learn hair making, madam got another Peggy and she was told to stop. Someone else registered her to learn tailoring, the same circle. In her case, she is also foolish, her mom is alive, someone raised money for her to go back to Enugu state, but she returned after madam promised heaven and earth just to continue baby 3. I will advise you to look for a sales girl job, your brother will not help you. You will keep going round until you clock 30.

See this small girl complaining that she hates her life when she has every reason to thank God for her life.

You are lucky you have a brother who is accommodating you in his house, providing 3 square meals for you, catering for other sundry needs of yours and even bought you the phone you are using to post this nonsense. Yet you are not grateful. Just to help with simple house chores, you are blabbing that they are using you as maid.

What an ingrate! You just want to sit in the house and help with nothing, while the poor dude clothes, feeds and houses you for free?

You are even insinuating that he should not have married, as his marriage turned things upside down for you. Aren't you an enemy of progress? You should be grateful to God that you have someone like him to take care of your basic needs, cos there are many people in worse situations than you, who can't eat 1 square meal in a day and don't even have a roof over their heads, and with relatives that don't give a fvck about them. You are here ranting that your brother can't send you to university nor send you off to learn handwork, meanwhile you're barely 19 oh, just 19 years old. It's not as if you're up to 22 o . Mtchewwwwww!!!!!!

You're just a naïve and daft brat with a warped entitlement mentality and you need to borrow some sense.

Please don't hate your self, you are still young, there are people in worse situation than you. Cheer up, God will see you through

Graxie:
I will advise you to look for a sales girl job, your brother will not help you. You will keep going round until you clock 30.

OP please follow this advice

Chinyerelove:
I am 19 years old orphan , we are 4 children 2 boys and 2 girls , dad died 14 years ago and mum died 8 years ago. Am currently staying with my brother , his wife , my younger sister and their daughter. B4 my brother got married life was so good that he was taking good care of us and made us not missing our parents , he took care of all our needs and we were all going to school but ever since he got married , everything was completely wrong, after finishing secondary school , he told me schooling the 3 of us is consuming lots of money which he can’t afford to send I and my other brother to university at the same time , I have to stay at home until he get the money to send me back to school meanwhile I told him I want to learn handwork like catering or tailoring , he agreed but told me to wait and I have been waiting for 3 years now . When his wife had the baby , he told me to take care of the baby until she is at least 1 year and 6 months when she start school so I can go and learn tailoring too , which I was okey. I am not doing anything, his wife turned me into a maid , I take care of everything in the house , cooking , washing , cleaning , babysitting the baby from morning to night , I don’t have any free time for myself. The baby doesn’t sleep well at night so I have been taking care of her all night while her mum is fast asleep , I wake up tired every single morning and sometimes I don’t even have the strength to clean and if I don’t clean the house by the time she comes back from work , she will start insulting me and calling me names and even if I do the work she doesn’t appreciate me and she will always find faults. I was excited that my niece will be turning 1 year 6 months by May so I can go and learn tailoring so I can be happy again but my brother wife is pregnant again and they are expecting to be at home again when this new baby is born , they don’t care about my life , all they want from
Me to be spending all my life taking care of their children and they want me to be useless in the society. I just hate my life , I just want to leave the house and go far from them. Maybe he is treating us like this because we don’t share the same father , maybe if we were same father he would have treated us much better. I’m dying in pain and can’t stop crying

Can you reply your email?

Thanks for your advice , I wish I could go and work but my brother won’t let me , he want me to be home all day looking after the baby and cleaning . I’m so frustrated that I cannot do anything with my life

Graxie:
I have one as my neighbor, he has been using his sister as househelp since 2008, she couldn't even finish secondary school. They sent her to learn hair making, madam got another Peggy and she was told to stop. Someone else registered her to learn tailoring, the same circle. In her case, she is also foolish, her mom is alive, someone raised money for her to go back to Enugu state, but she returned after madam promised heaven and earth just to continue baby 3. I will advise you to look for a sales girl job, your brother will not help you. You will keep going round until you clock 30.

Ok thanks

Charlescobi:

Can you reply your email?

Thanks , my brother won’t let me work

Abilistic:
Please don't hate your self, you are still young, there are people in worse situation than you. Cheer up, God will see you through



OP please follow this advice

Chinyerelove:
Thanks , my brother won’t let me work

Why are you dis weak?? I Don't like people who are always afraid to take their destinies into their hands.

Better wise up and know wat to do with ur life before ur precious life is wasted by proxy.

What u dont knw now is dat dos children u re babysitting now WIL start giving you their used plates to wash in d kitchen in 6years tym if u refuse to upgrade ur software.

Chinyerelove:
Thanks , my brother won’t let me work

It seems you are too reserved and you fear your brother a lot. This, he is exploiting to his advantage. Now is the time to be more assertive. I don't know which town you live in,but any time you get the opportunity to enter any major market, look for a sales personnel job there, you must keep this secret from your brother, his wife and any other relative. Look for accommodation too, may be a room in a face-me-face-I-face-you apartment or a trusted female friend can provide for few months. Don't wait for the second child to arrive before you leave because that's going to increase your work load making job search more difficult for you and can push you into major depression.

While your brother and wife are at work, you can put baby on your back, safely wrapped at your back, and go and look for work.

Remember to be focused and avoid men's sweet tongue.

Also, since you have access to a gadget and internet, use these to search for job as well.

Jimbadly:

You're inhumane and a quagmire to hopeless and helpless people. A lady creates a thread just to outpour her emotional trauma and then you typed all this just to escalate her condition You think her parents in their grave would bear this
My pray is may your children never be treated like this.

Chinyerelove:
Thanks for your advice , I wish I could go and work but my brother won’t let me , he want me to be home all day looking after the baby and cleaning . I’m so frustrated that I cannot do anything with my life

You are an adult and have the right to make your own decision and do what is best for you and your future .

Be very careful about the advice you pick from here! I repeat again, be very careful.
don't get pushed into taking an action that you will later regret.
I will advise you to be patient.

Chinyerelove:
I am 19 years old orphan , we are 4 children 2 boys and 2 girls , dad died 14 years ago and mum died 8 years ago. Am currently staying with my brother , his wife , my younger sister and their daughter. B4 my brother got married life was so good that he was taking good care of us and made us not missing our parents , he took care of all our needs and we were all going to school but ever since he got married , everything was completely wrong, after finishing secondary school , he told me schooling the 3 of us is consuming lots of money which he can’t afford to send I and my other brother to university at the same time , I have to stay at home until he get the money to send me back to school meanwhile I told him I want to learn handwork like catering or tailoring , he agreed but told me to wait and I have been waiting for 3 years now . When his wife had the baby , he told me to take care of the baby until she is at least 1 year and 6 months when she start school so I can go and learn tailoring too , which I was okey. I am not doing anything, his wife turned me into a maid , I take care of everything in the house , cooking , washing , cleaning , babysitting the baby from morning to night , I don’t have any free time for myself. The baby doesn’t sleep well at night so I have been taking care of her all night while her mum is fast asleep , I wake up tired every single morning and sometimes I don’t even have the strength to clean and if I don’t clean the house by the time she comes back from work , she will start insulting me and calling me names and even if I do the work she doesn’t appreciate me and she will always find faults. I was excited that my niece will be turning 1 year 6 months by May so I can go and learn tailoring so I can be happy again but my brother wife is pregnant again and they are expecting to be at home again when this new baby is born , they don’t care about my life , all they want from
Me to be spending all my life taking care of their children and they want me to be useless in the society. I just hate my life , I just want to leave the house and go far from them. Maybe he is treating us like this because we don’t share the same father , maybe if we were same father he would have treated us much better. I’m dying in pain and can’t stop crying

As it us now, you have to endure and please them especially the wife for you to achieve your goals

If you must leave, make sure you don't come back to tell them to take you back, it will be worst than before

Try and talk to your uncle behind his wife, he will listen to you

All the men asking you to DM them here cannot help you, except prey on your vulnerability. Your brother is very foolish to allow you all to not follow your dreams and for his wife to use you. I advise you to ask him to send you to learn a trade or you get a sales girl job. Ask your other sister to get a job too and you both move into a one room if you can. When you are able to focus on your own responsibility you will be able to progress much better.

Sorry for the challenges life has thrown at you, but know that if you keep straight and do not sell yourself, God will reward you. Try to go to a church to meet people who can employ you or help you finance your education. Be careful, there are so many wolves out there. Especially men. Don’t be naive and always walk with someone you trust if you have to go meet anybody.

Your brother may never be able to train you in addition to training your two other siblings and his new family. You have to come to realize that at some point . In this economy, that may be too much to ask of someone.

What’s wrong with the situation is him giving you high hopes and not planning for that. like if he ends up having four children, will you be there to raise all of them and never go back to school or trade?

You’re young but you can still look out for yourself. You said they are expecting you to stay home with this new baby . Did they say that exactly or is it something you can sense they expect? Ask him if he has plans for you still and for how long you’re expected to wait now? His response will let you know your next steps. Even then don’t bank on it.

As someone already stated, Be careful sending out emails and receiving emails from on here. You’re vulnerable right now.

Chinyerelove:
Thanks , my brother won’t let me work

I don't want to make any Nairaland input atall. But after reading many of the comments here I had to break/bend that rule. Do not believe you can't meet helpers anywhere. Those saying you shouldn't send emails or meet anyone, have you wondered what their contribution is besides making you needlessly fearful.?

Your brother doesn't mean well for you. Take it from me. If you work he knows you will build your life and dreams so he intends keeping you as slave so without money you won't have choice but to return back to him.


This is my advice-: Relocate away from him to where you can work and save money even if it is 1000 Naira daily you can save, I. E 30,000 Naira monthly. If you so this for 2 - 3 years, you would have saved enough and can move to the next phase of your life. You've served your brother enough. It's time for you to begin to build for your future. Don't think if you marry tomorrow and have financial challenges with your kids he will be helpful. If he hasn't been helpful to you and the present, I hardly see him being helpful in future or to your kids.


He's a wicked brother.


God see you through. Think of all I said deeply.

I can imagine what you going through. Don't you have an aunt or uncle to go to? Or cousin? All these people telling to relocate and be saving 1k daily, don't mind them. If it were to be that easy, we won't have people begging upandan here. Be careful

Sales girls are paid between 1k and 1500 daily thesedays and you don't need to meet anyone.


I repeat don't listen to anyone who's telling you to be careful M without providing positive contributions. As this thinking promotes fearful thinking. I got my first 1 Million very young from a site like this just by asking for a helper just like you.

Embrace your destiny and take control of your life. Take ownership of your life from your brother. Take back your life

Pridestorm:


You're inhumane and a quagmire to hopeless and helpless people. A lady creates a thread just to outpour her emotional trauma and then you typed all this just to escalate her condition You think her parents in their grave would bear this
My pray is may your children never be treated like this.

Do me a favour, fvck off my mention. It's obvious you are retarded_ How many of your relatives did you pay for their university education or pay for their skill acquisition?

It's easy for mofos like you to rant online when in real life you ain't shit. A man houses his half sister, clothes her, feeds her and takes care of her other needs, yet imps like you don't see it as a big deal just cos he can't send her to university. Do you know the financial condition of the man, especially now he has a wife and kid to cater for, as well as in-laws?

You lots are just a sentimental bunch who can't make use of their God given brains.

Jimbadly:


Do me a favour, fvck off my mention. It's obvious you are retarded_ How many of your relatives did you pay for their university education or pay for their skill acquisition?

It's easy for mofos like you to rant online when in real life you ain't shit. A man houses his half sister, clothes her, feeds her and takes care of her other needs, yet imps like you don't see it as a big deal just cos he can't send her to university. Do you know the financial condition of the man, especially now he has a wife and kid to cater for, as well as in-laws?

You lots are just a sentimental bunch who can't make use of their God given brains.

Stop it. I've paid tuition fees and housed people up till varsity. Heaven bears me witness. I can today point fingers to a crowd I've mentored. And I never gave anyone entitlement-pride-action


My nieces are today under my custody and young lads and girls I've picked from the street into my home. No relationship of so ever. I fixed them up, helped them got mentored from young. House and fed them. And at mastery of skill acquisition, l set them loose. Stop supporting bad attitude/treatment.


Stop normalising evil. The brother is destroying her life and using her life as the tool to develop his. Or if the load is too much for him, isn't it work she needs to do to reduce the weight load? If his intentions with her were pure, he should be the one chasing her outside to go seek for work.

Jimbadly:


Do me a favour, fvck off my mention. It's obvious you are retarded_ How many of your relatives did you pay for their university education or pay for their skill acquisition?

It's easy for mofos like you to rant online when in real life you ain't shit. A man houses his half sister, clothes her, feeds her and takes care of her other needs, yet imps like you don't see it as a big deal just cos he can't send her to university. Do you know the financial condition of the man, especially now he has a wife and kid to cater for, as well as in-laws?

You lots are just a sentimental bunch who can't make use of their God given brains.

It's New Year and too early to counter back. The same pain this girl is passing through, your children, hopefully, will also pass through the same pain.

This shows how ununited you guys are in your family.

Pridestorm:






It's New Year and too early to counter back. The same pain this girl is passing through, your children, hopefully, will also pass through the same pain.

This shows how ununited you guys are in your family.

Do not mention me again you inane dingbat.

Jimbadly:


Do not mention me again you inane dingbat.

@bolded

Brainless goat! speaking grammar doesn't make you intelligent and smart, if that was it Nigeria wouldn't have have bunch of graduates unemployed.

Graxie:
I have one as my neighbor, he has been using his sister as househelp since 2008, she couldn't even finish secondary school. They sent her to learn hair making, madam got another Peggy and she was told to stop. Someone else registered her to learn tailoring, the same circle. In her case, she is also foolish, her mom is alive, someone raised money for her to go back to Enugu state, but she returned after madam promised heaven and earth just to continue baby 3. I will advise you to look for a sales girl job, your brother will not help you. You will keep going round until you clock 30.

That is such a sad existence ...

Thanks for this great advice

healthserve:
Sales girls are paid between 1k and 1500 daily thesedays and you don't need to meet anyone.


I repeat don't listen to anyone who's telling you to be careful M without providing positive contributions. As this thinking promotes fearful thinking. I got my first 1 Million very young from a site like this just by asking for a helper just like you.

Embrace your destiny and take control of your life. Take ownership of your life from your brother. Take back your life