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Relationship Or Situationship - Family - Nairaland

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Have You Ever Had An Inter-Tribal/Racial/Religious Relationship Or Marriage? / Incest Situationship At Home. / Should Respect Be Earned Or Given In A Relationship Or Marriage? (2) (3) (4)

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Relationship Or Situationship by Nobody: 6:01pm On Jan 05, 2020
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Re: Relationship Or Situationship by olabrinks(f): 6:10pm On Jan 05, 2020
If he won’t let you go then let yourself go please. This man is not interested in you. He is keeping you on the ropes until he finds his real wife to settle down with. It’s not hard to understand men, they’re very very straight forward. It’s women that like to use their emotions to cloud their judgements. A man that doesn’t call you, a man that has told you blatantly that he doesn’t want marriage, a man that is confusing your brain and soul, is that one your husband? It doesn’t matter how much money he has spent, a man can spend thousands on a woman he is just sleeping with, nothing more nothing less. Kindly leave this man alone, God will give you your husband.

4 Likes

Re: Relationship Or Situationship by donbachi(m): 6:26pm On Jan 05, 2020
Destructionship...dat guy wan destroy ur life.

1 Like

Re: Relationship Or Situationship by Amanee(f): 6:40pm On Jan 05, 2020
Absolute situationship dear, no two ways about it
Re: Relationship Or Situationship by popsy2(m): 6:40pm On Jan 05, 2020
Chai
Re: Relationship Or Situationship by nlPoster: 6:46pm On Jan 05, 2020
Now, he says he isn't promising me marriage

What advice do you need?
Re: Relationship Or Situationship by frenchtoast(f): 7:01pm On Jan 05, 2020
Something happened during your first meet up that caused the spark to fizzle out, I don't know what exactly but according to you things went downhill from there.

Since it was the first time you met up, do you think it's a physical attraction issue? Or your energies just didn't mesh? Interactions in real life can have a completely different dynamic to online communications

Now as for why he appears to have lost interest but STILL wants to continue with the relationship, please let us know which countries you are based in. Is there a possibility that he may be trying to gain some sort of citizenship out of you

All of the above aside, for the sake of your sanity and self-respect, I think it's best you end the relationship
Re: Relationship Or Situationship by Nobody: 7:40pm On Jan 05, 2020
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Re: Relationship Or Situationship by frenchtoast(f): 7:50pm On Jan 05, 2020
Magnifiq:
The issues we had when we met stemed from the fact that I realized that he had lied to me. When we first started talking, he said he was single and had been celibate for months. I had also been celibate for years. Anyway, I found out he lied. Then he is a perfectionist so he used to stand behind me and monitor the amount of salt or seasoning I use in cooking. All these things put me off. He also has a way of being insensitive when he talks. He makes comments like " I hope you don't have HIV oh." because I complained of headache. It was winter when I first visited and I was shivering and he continued to taunt me about being a chicken just because I was cold. He also wears this long face constantly when we are together. Like he's unhappy being around me. I didn't want to go back the second time cos I spent the whole time crying while I visited the first time but he continued to communicate with me and I went back again. It is not about physical attraction, but I can't pinpoint exactly what the problem is.
He is also not after any citizenship. He is settled legally in the country where he is. I am the one in Nigeria but I have access to travel whenever I want.

Ok thanks for the clarification

Questionable behaviour traits aside, when it comes down to it, the writings are on the wall that he is showing signs of losing interest, and rather than be honest about what his issue is, he's frustrating you emotionally and stringing you along.

Please fashi this guy asap, this not a healthy relationship
Re: Relationship Or Situationship by Fountainofyouth(f): 8:52pm On Jan 05, 2020
Sis, it is very clear you both are not attracted to each other, not even a bit, you need to let him be, there are some relationships that wouldn't work out no matter how much you try, sometimes online attraction may turn out to be just an online thing, when you both meet physically, it's no more there, yours is like that, forget him, he isn't the ONE.

1 Like

Re: Relationship Or Situationship by Ameboperoo(m): 8:57pm On Jan 05, 2020
Magnifiq:
The issues we had when we met stemed from the fact that I realized that he had lied to me. When we first started talking, he said he was single and had been celibate for months. I had also been celibate for years. Anyway, I found out he lied. Then he is a perfectionist so he used to stand behind me and monitor the amount of salt or seasoning I use in cooking. All these things put me off. He also has a way of being insensitive when he talks. He makes comments like " I hope you don't have HIV oh." because I complained of headache. It was winter when I first visited and I was shivering and he continued to taunt me about being a chicken just because I was cold. He also wears this long face constantly when we are together. Like he's unhappy being around me. I didn't want to go back the second time cos I spent the whole time crying while I visited the first time but he continued to communicate with me and I went back again. It is not about physical attraction, but I can't pinpoint exactly what the problem is.
He is also not after any citizenship. He is settled legally in the country where he is. I am the one in Nigeria but I have access to travel whenever I want.

He might be the humourous type who jokes with everything but you didnt understand.

1 Like

Re: Relationship Or Situationship by havilla(f): 9:07pm On Jan 05, 2020
How old is he? How long has he been single? He sounds like he is used to being on his own or he is emotionally unavailable. I advice next time dont travel to meet a man, a man should travel to meet you, you made it too easy for him.

Give him a lot of space, dont call, dont text just leave him alone, he might come around, I think most men fall in love in our absence.

1 Like

Re: Relationship Or Situationship by efewizey(m): 1:30am On Jan 06, 2020
havilla:
How old is he? How long has he been single? He sounds like he is used to being on his own or he is emotionally unavailable. I advice next time dont travel to meet a man, a man should travel to meet you, you made it too easy for him.

Give him a lot of space, dont call, dont text just leave him alone, he might come around, I think most men fall in love in our absence.

You are pretty I must say
Re: Relationship Or Situationship by Fortissimo502: 3:04am On Jan 06, 2020
efewizey:


You are pretty I must say

Oga face your work.

1 Like

Re: Relationship Or Situationship by baby124: 3:57am On Jan 06, 2020
Hmmm...hope you didn’t catfish him with photoshop and other tools. Anyways, you should talk to him and tell him how you feel. Give him the opportunity to bare his mind so you can reevaluate the relationship. Be very honest with yourself and do not be desperate. If you are satisfied with his response and, you know his response matches his future actions then you can consider the relationship.

Also, please, both of you go for blood tests to remove questions or suspicions of STDs. Most guys who have tasted sex before lie about being celibate. grin. That means he told you what you wanted to hear for you to pursue a relationship with him. You fell for it, fell in love and even travelled by yourself to see him. I agree with the poster on his making the effort to come and see you.

1 Like

Re: Relationship Or Situationship by efewizey(m): 7:26am On Jan 06, 2020
Fortissimo502:

Madam learn to be polite. Thank you won't make me ask for ur number. Google search courtesy.
Oga face your work.

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