I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job - Family (36) - Nairaland
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| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by bigpicture001: 10:47am On Jan 12, 2020 |
I me would suggest that nairalanders in no's should get in touch with her and with her direction to physically visit her family and pacify them... And mk them understand we made her confess and that ah also has regrets.... Let's not leave her totally to her fate... It will b too hard to bear the consequences as u can see, since she confessed ah hasn't com online 3 Likes |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by SlimBrawnie(f): 11:06am On Jan 12, 2020 |
bigpicture001:I'm concerned she's not been online since yesterday. Pls those that can should get in touch with her. Her location is PH. |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by ffo(m): 12:19pm On Jan 12, 2020 |
Ifyjos:Please what is the update |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by Lina2020: 1:30pm On Jan 12, 2020 |
funmisticqueen:Are u okay You do not have the right to insult her,she brought her problems here and need positive advice but please if you do not have any,do not comment  2 Likes |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by Ifyjos(f): 2:04pm On Jan 12, 2020 |
Sorry guys I haven’t been able to come online to give feedback because things are not looking good at the moment , my sister came to found the truth like I sent her on WhatsApp , she sent me a long voice message she was very angry crying and cursing me even myself I was in tears by the time I wanted to reply her , telling her how sorry I was from my heart she blocked me and I tried calling her number it wasn’t going through, just next minutes my brother from Lagos called cursing me he didn’t even give me the chance of explaining or to ask for forgiveness , he ended the call and my other brother called to same thing with curse that nothing will be well with and when mum called that was when I knew my life ended my mum said lots of thinks to me that she even regrets given birth to me and she told me not to step my footsteps in the house or I will regret, I cried begging my mum to please forgive me I didn’t not mean but she didn’t listen and told me my daughter will be staying with them. My whole family disown me, I haven’t been able to go home yesterday , I know i deserve all this but it broke my heart I won’t see my daughter , I can’t bear to live without my child I’m just no myself , my heart is bleeding I’m crying . I know they all have the right to hate me because I deserve to be hated but why are they keeping my daughter with them? My daughter won’t be in peace in that house because they will make her pay for my sins and my child doesn’t deserve this . Please someone help me to atleast get my daughter back from them 1 Like 2 Shares |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by egopersonified(f): 2:12pm On Jan 12, 2020 |
Sooooo.... who steps up for you now when your baby daddy doesn't have money? Hope you guys are not planning on killing or kidnapping any member of your family to make money. 2 Likes |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by sisisioge: 2:18pm On Jan 12, 2020 |
Ifyjos: Good! This is a start. As for your daughter, I doubt if they would harm her but if you really want to take her with you, call your reliable muscle to go with you to take her from the family by force. After all, the two of you are her parents. This will give you an opportunity to fully understand and appreciate how much they've done for you and the girl in 5years. Please keep us posted...hopefully, your "man" would live up to your high regard of him now that you two have become his responsibility. Cheers. I hope your sis sends the VN to her ex too...good job, you chose the best channel of communication! 14 Likes |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by kingphilip(m): 2:44pm On Jan 12, 2020 |
Ifyjos:I can assure you you did the right thing. Restitution or making amends isn't always easy but I can assure you that it's the best thing that one can really do and it is always rewarding at the end of it. So Ifyjos what's the next step now 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by Ehibiggirl(f): 3:21pm On Jan 12, 2020 |
Ifyjos:do you have an uncle or aunt there in Ph? If yes go to them this time you must be truly remorseful ready to make amends go to either of them and beg them to go with you to apologize to your family it is very necessary. Where are you staying currently? 2 Likes |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by kingphilip(m): 3:25pm On Jan 12, 2020 |
If we have any person residing in pH here, they should go with her and plead with her parents and siblings so that they can forgive her and take her back. This decision of theirs will surely not be of help to the lady and the family in the long run because she is still their daughter and the baby shouldn't be thrown away with the bath water for whatever reason/(s) 3 Likes |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by dominique(f): 3:48pm On Jan 12, 2020 |
Ifyjos: Their reaction is understandable, they're disappointed and hurt. As long as you show them you're remorseful and ready to make amends, they will soften towards you and take you back in. You need to find a way to mend your sister's relationship by reaching out to her fiance. I just hope it's not too late. Men move on pretty quick and may even be engaged to someone else by now. But still try to help restore the relationship, that could earn you points from your family. Can you see what your relationship with this supposedly caring baby daddy of yours has cost you and your family? He may not be the worst of men but he's not the best for you. You need someone to motivate you towards positive growth while he's building himself not one that rolls with thugs and believes he can become a millionaire overnight by washing cars. I hope this incident becomes a turning point for you to become a new person your family can be proud of in future. Genevieve was a little older than you when she had her child but look at her now, she's the pride of her family. You can also achieve as much as she has or even more. It all boils down to how you plan your life, the types of decisions you make and the people you surround yourself with. My thoughts and prayers are with you. 11 Likes 4 Shares |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by SlimBrawnie(f): 3:54pm On Jan 12, 2020 |
Ifyjos, don't worry, they will come around. Keep sending messages to your family members apologising if they refuse to pick your calls and please don't try to defend your actions, accept whatever they tell you for now cos they are simply reacting. They are humans and are expected to act this way but still pray God touches their heart so they forgive. Also look for a relative or someone your sister respects to help you talk to her. If this wasn't a public platform I would have suggested you drop your sister's or mum's number so that those willing from here can call and help talk to her too. Everything will be alright. This too shall soon pass. |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by Ifyjos(f): 5:05pm On Jan 12, 2020 |
I’m squatting with my guy and his friends. I do have uncles ( my mum brothers) they are not the the type of person who like to make peace because they will add more fuel to the problem. I deserved everything for my bad actions , I’m deeply sorry for hurting my sister and they all hate me but right now all I want is my daughter 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by Nobody: 5:10pm On Jan 12, 2020 |
I must applaud you for finally taking a step in the right direction. Now that you have confessed and your family's reaction is what was expected/anticipated, I suggest you stay away for some time for tempers to calm down a bit. Your family members are still in shock, still trying to absorb what they just found out. Their reaction is expected, so give them some time (like 4 days-one week) to calm down. Next, I believe your family goes to a church and are known by their pastor, go to the pastor and tell him everything. Ask him to go with you to a highly respected member of the family, let both of them go with you to plead with your family. Also make sure you still go and confess to your sister's fiance. If both of them can come back together, the family's heart will soften quicker. Also show a true repentance and remorse. All will be well, it's just a matter of time |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by BRATISLAVA: 6:16pm On Jan 12, 2020 |
Ehibiggirl:The only person who can go with her to apologise is the one who stole her childhood, that she calls "crown". He's a "good guy". If they want the child he knows how to fight for it. She can sit on them and hold down their hands while he gives them "respectful beatings" and collects the child. She still maintains that her sister isn't fertile(how does she know this? A lot of things she's not saying that she did), is still bitterly jealous of her (great jealousy and hatred), she probably said all those things to her, has probably not apologized for beating her elder sister with her man(she's still justifying it). The remorse isn't real. It's just the fear of being homeless(a fact she keeps repeating, ironic). But the good news is that she's now with her *good guy". The one who looked lustfully at a 14 year old. The one who she idolized above her sister who truly loved her. We should be kept informed on what's going to happen to all the love she used as a reason to be unkind to her sister, now that they will actually live together. All the warts will show. Very immature to claim he loves her when she had never lived together with him before. Now they will be in close quarters, what "love" it shall be, and he will have to face up to what her sister and parents were doing that they both never appreciated. "Love". "Maturity". 35 pages of advice, hopefully she has truly repented never to do evil again. But can the leopard change it's spots? She fears they will do evil to her child because she would do evil in their position. She should be happy nobody is smoking and doing drugs around the child. Her elder sister will rise and return bigger and better than before. It's a pity her trial was from the enemy within. 11 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by ffo(m): 6:21pm On Jan 12, 2020 |
Ifyjos: Ify, you have done the right thing by apologizing and asking for forgiveness, that is a good step in the right direction, what i want you to do is to open another thread on the update so that more people can comment and possible people living around you can help talk to your sister and your family. God bless you. It will end in praise. 3 Likes |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by Abcruz(m): 8:15pm On Jan 12, 2020 |
Ifyjos: This is a good step in the right direction. Finally I salute your courage for doing the right thing. We all make mistakes but taking corrections and acting on wise counsel is the only remedy for a peaceful coexistence. It is normal for your family members to be angry with you as it appears very shocking to them at the moment. However, they'll accept you back after a while. As for your daughter you'll be with her soon but while you're away, I can assure you she won't be treated badly. All you have to do now is to go over to the church your family attends, meet the pastor or any elder your mum and dad respects explain to him/her and ask him/her to follow you and beg for their forgiveness. My prayers are with you! 1 Like |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by EhisChelsea1(m): 9:25pm On Jan 12, 2020 |
unikmaureen: @Ifyjos, take this advice, it makes a lot of sense and it will go a long way. D average Nigerian parents will not refuse the request of their pastor and elderly relations... Approach them, let them know u are truly sorry and ready to make amend and they will do everything within their power to ensure u are reconcile back to ur family 3 Likes |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by EhisChelsea1(m): 9:34pm On Jan 12, 2020 |
Abcruz: Same advice.... Please don't ignore this... It will hasten the reconciliation process.... Also, please, @Ifyjos, this is not the time to claim right or defend ur actions. Your daughter is also their daughter so if u truly need reconciliation and want this issue to be resolve amicably, forget abat you taking your daughter from them for now... Your mother can never treat your child badly...her own grandchild....not an African grandmom so please, let that slide for now. The they decided to take ur daughter and keep with them shows they still care abat u. They just feel at the moment u are heartless and unstable and she is not safe with u..... So let it slide for now.... Explore the pastors options above.... It hardly fails in Africa....except your people are not the religious type.. Goodluck, u did the right tin and our prayers are with u..... Always remember u have a family here and can easily reach out if in need... There are lot of persons here who genuinely empathize with you and will do all they can to assist u wen u need dem....... 5 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by letitrainnow(m): 10:19pm On Jan 12, 2020 |
You see, you have done a good thing, nobody is hating you again on this thread. How did your guy receive the news when he knew you have confess. Prepare for the worst but keep your calm. I pray God see you through. Pls flee evil. 1 Like |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by bigpicture001: 10:34pm On Jan 12, 2020 |
I am now happy with u... Trust me, ur daughter is safe with ur family... There is also one thing u "need" to experience ; the real "love" of ur guy up very close with him.... That is d only thing dt can convince you ur not making the right decision ant ur guy... While u last with him, plz try not to get pregnant and don't rush back home Cruz if u do without seeing the real him... U will continue to argue with ur parents Experience is the best teacher 2 Likes |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by BRATISLAVA: 2:48am On Jan 13, 2020 |
EhisChelsea1: You want to help a person who destroyed the life of someone else. Why don't you try to help the elder sister instead? Or you think she's not in a worse place than the one that's acting saucy here? No empathy for the victim? 1 Like |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by BRATISLAVA: 2:55am On Jan 13, 2020 |
bigpicture001: Your sympathy should go to helping her sister. She's the one who has been crying since last year, has been called infertile, was bitten by the very person who ate from her labors, was beaten up by the person and baby daddy and yet you havenot called for help for her elder sister. Isn't that hypocrisy? 2 Likes |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by Nobody: 6:22am On Jan 13, 2020 |
BRATISLAVA: Please, is all this really necessary? The girl is already homeless, she has already lost everything, do you want us to kill her  Everybody here knows that the elder sister deserves some sympathy or havent you read the other 35 pages? A young person who made a mistake came for advice. She has now made an effort to correct herself; instead of you to either keep quiet or give her an encouraging word to get her to the right track youre here talking another thing smh 1 Like |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by eyinjuege: 7:20am On Jan 13, 2020 |
BRATISLAVA: Hypocrisy how? Do Nairalanders know the sister? It's the person who has brought matter here that would be offered help na. What help do you have for the elder sister? A new job or a new fiance? Nobody knows the sister's background to even offer her a new job, or her character to offer her a new relationship. The only thing NLers can do for the unknown sis is encouraging OP to confess, which she has done. Sister can find closure now, even if her relationship can't work out. 4 Likes |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by Ginaruby: 8:50am On Jan 13, 2020 |
CeterisXVII: What resulted to the assault? In legal circles it's known as character assassination... |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by Resurgent2016: 8:54am On Jan 13, 2020 |
Ifyjos: Really sorry about this. I read your post and honestly understand the pressure you felt and why you took such action against your sister. I also think you did the best thing confessing. The initial deposit is high, but in future you'll realise its better than keeping such secret. I think you should also make peace with God, because why you had your reasons, your action were not justifiable and may have future repercussions if you don't seek God's forgiveness. As for your guy, both of you need to sit and discuss the way forward for your family. He may need to double his hussle or even take a different route, you can't be squatting with his friends for long, it won't end well. Even if it means securing an apartment in a very rural area, there is a lot of dignity and stability in living together alone as a couple. As for you daughter, no one can stop you from taking her when you are "ready". By ready, I mean you have a suitable environment to raise a child. I wish you the best. 1 Like |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by Leis: 9:19am On Jan 13, 2020 |
THIS GIRL HAS HEEDED OUR ADVICE AND CONFESS TO THE SISTER, THIS IS NO TIME TO APPORTION BLAME, BUT HELP THIS GIRL REBUILD HERSELF AND SETTLE WITH HER FAMILY. ON THIS NOTE, IF WE CAN MOBILIZE SOME NAIRALANDERS WHO ARE CLOSER TO HER FAMILY HOUSE TO TALK TO THEM, IT WILL REALLY HELP IN THE HEALING PROCESS. |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by kingphilip(m): 9:26am On Jan 13, 2020 |
Leis:I'm in support of this and I've been clamouring for those around to go with her to do the confession but from the look of things it seems no one stays in port Harcourt here 1 Like |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by Ehibiggirl(f): 9:32am On Jan 13, 2020 |
BRATISLAVA:Theres so much sense in all you have said I hope she learns this time. I hope she comes to realize that family is everything and the love stories on zeeworld and Africa magic are not real but illusions. I hope she really turns a new leaf. Life is too short to be vengeful. From all this I’m sure she would be experiencing new situations that would open her eyes to the many truths that some Nairalanders have shared here. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by Ehibiggirl(f): 9:42am On Jan 13, 2020 |
Ifyjos:it will pass it needs time. But you have to stay true to been repentant and becoming a better person one people would remember only for good, a great mum and influence for your child. Now that uncles or close relatives are not an option, you could meet your spiritual leader in church to help you or someone elderly that can go with you. |
| Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by CeterisXVII: 11:06am On Jan 13, 2020 |
Ginaruby:Character assassination in what way? The sister scolded her inside their house. So the best way to respond to the so-called character assassination was to launch a physical assault against the sister?? |
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