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Remember that every form of marital unfaithfulness is a sin against GOD. Do we ever sit down and ponder over our actions here on earth and their shot term and eternal consequences? What if it is your husband that is being this unfaithful to you? Most times I think about what we do here on earth and their eternal rewards (if they have any). No matter what good people may say about one leaving his wife or husband for another - it does not change what GOD says about it- it is adultery and all adulterers who never repented and accepted CHRIST JESUS as their LORD and personal saviour afterwards, will be cast into the lake of fire. Should I sacrifice eternal value or destination for a mere momentary pleasure? FAITHFULNESS TO YOUR SPOUSE IS FIRST TO GOD AND THEN TO YOUR SPOUSE AND ALSO SIN/UNFAITHFULNESS TO YOUR SPOUSE IS FIRST AGAINST GOD AND THEN YOUR SPOUSE. THERE ARE TWO THINGS YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TWO OF EACH - 1) GOD AND 2) WIFE/HUSBAND. ACCEPT JESUS CHRIST TODAY AND HE WILL YOU. THE DAYS IS COMING WHEN ALL MANKIND WILL STAND BEFORE HIM TO GIVE ACCOUNT OF OUR LIVES. FOR THE FACT THAT THE WHOLE WORLD DOES AND APPROVE OF A THING DOES NOT MAKE THAT RIGHT. IN THE LAST DAYS INIQUITY WILL ABOUND AND THE LOVE OF MANY WILL WAX COLD.

Remember that every form of marital unfaithfulness is a sin against GOD. Do we ever sit down and ponder over our actions here on earth and their shot term and eternal consequences? What if it is your husband that is being this unfaithful to you? Most times I think about what we do here on earth and their eternal rewards (if they have any). No matter what good people may say about one leaving his wife or husband for another - it does not change what GOD says about it- it is adultery and all adulterers who never repented and accepted CHRIST JESUS as their LORD and personal saviour afterward, will be cast into the lake of fire. Should I sacrifice eternal value or destination for a mere momentary pleasure?

FAITHFULNESS TO YOUR SPOUSE IS FIRST TO GOD AND THEN TO YOUR SPOUSE AND ALSO SIN/UNFAITHFULNESS TO YOUR SPOUSE IS FIRST AGAINST GOD AND THEN YOUR SPOUSE. THERE ARE TWO THINGS YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TWO OF EACH - 1) GOD AND 2) WIFE/HUSBAND. ACCEPT JESUS CHRIST TODAY AND HE WILL HEAL YOU. THE DAYS IS COMING WHEN ALL MANKIND WILL STAND BEFORE HIM TO GIVE ACCOUNT OF OUR LIVES. FOR THE FACT THAT THE WHOLE WORLD DOES AND APPROVE OF A THING DOES NOT MAKE THAT RIGHT. IN THE LAST DAYS INIQUITY WILL ABOUND AND THE LOVE OF MANY WILL WAX COLD.

If you can abandon your husband for no reason b/c of lust then your b/f will definitely think you will abandon him one day for another man. Men think in pictures.

Go back to your husband and fix whatever is missing before another woman will grab him and bring out the best in him.

Thank you radical. I knw dat I offended my husband but d fault is not entirely mine. My husband also have his blame too. He was not catering 4 me nd my unborn child. I saw hell durin my pregnancy nd d memory ll remain evergreen nd if not for God nd my lover,I wud hav died durin my son's delivery. I ve 4given my husband 4 his nonchalant attitudes but can neva 4get it. So d option of goin back 2 him can neva b considerd. My lover saw me throughout my pregnancy nd aftawards so fallin in luv wit him completely was natural. Rmber,he was there b4 d marriage nd cud even b d father of my son. But he startd being dis hot nd cold when he learnt of my cancellatn of my marriage afta his pleads 2 me nt 2 do so. Wat I need to knw is wheda I shud 4get abt my lover nd move ahead with my life or I shud stil b patient wit his hot nd cold nature. Aftall,evrybody makes mistakes. I ve come in terms with my mistakes. Pls,dont crucify me much,I'm only human. I need ur brotherly advice on wat 2 do next. Thank u.

It's obvious that your lover is not interested in marrying you. He has his own family to protect and even begged you not to leave your husband. He is not going to marry you. For now, he'll continue to be hot and cold and sooner or later he'll be tired of you and show you the exit or his wife will get to know of the affair and deal with you.

You have never been faithful to your husband so it's easy for you to see his faults. You say he wasn't there for you during your pregnancy, do you mind telling us why? Look, if your husband is willing to take you back, you'd better run back to him before it's too late. Otherwise, you'll lose both ways.

But have it at the back of your mind that nemesis will soon catch up with you. Just like you're sticking to someone's husband. Some girl will always 'love' your husband too.

sd-6:

Thank you radical. I knw dat I offended my husband but d fault is not entirely mine. My husband also have his blame too. He was not catering 4 me nd my unborn child. I saw hell durin my pregnancy nd d memory ll remain evergreen nd if not for God nd my lover,I wud hav died durin my son's delivery. I ve 4given my husband 4 his nonchalant attitudes but can neva 4get it. So d option of goin back 2 him can neva b considerd. My lover saw me throughout my pregnancy nd aftawards so fallin in luv wit him completely was natural. Rmber,he was there b4 d marriage nd cud even b d father of my son. But he startd being dis hot nd cold when he learnt of my cancellatn of my marriage afta his pleads 2 me nt 2 do so. Wat I need to knw is wheda I shud 4get abt my lover nd move ahead with my life or I shud stil b patient wit his hot nd cold nature. Aftall,evrybody makes mistakes. I ve come in terms with my mistakes. Pls,dont crucify me much,I'm only human. I need your brotherly advice on wat 2 do next. Thank u.

1. Please, find out who is the father of your son. The poor boy deserves to know his father, even if you dont.
2. Point of correction: Its not everybody that makes this KIND OF MISTAKES.

@ poster
You are a bit.ch.

@ Poster, my friend faced a similar situation recently, so i understand what you are going through. People see things in black and white but life is never black and white, we marry for different reasons and sometimes end up in hell. God does not hate you but hates what you are doing. However am not here to judge you. You have divorced your husband, start afresh, forget your married boyfriend, build your own life and build a future for your son. Work hard and propbably start a business dat will take your time. Raise your son right, dont worry, you will pick up your life and rise again. My friend is doing great. Her experinece was worse, her husband abdoned her for years and she started sleeping with someone else who was also married. I got her to break it up, leave her husband and start her life, she did some months ago and she is glowing, happy and getting back on track.

aisha2:

@ Poster, my friend faced a similar situation recently, so i understand what you are going through. People see things in black and white but life is never black and white, we marry for different reasons and sometimes end up in hell. God does not hate you but hates what you are doing. However am not here to judge you. You have divorced your husband, start afresh, forget your married boyfriend, build your own life and build a future for your son. Work hard and propbably start a business dat will take your time. Raise your son right, dont worry, you will pick up your life and rise again. My friend is doing great. Her experinece was worse, her husband abdoned her for years and she started sleeping with someone else who was also married. I got her to break it up, leave her husband and start her life, she did some months ago and she is glowing, happy and getting back on track.

Good for your friend. Not everyone gets that lucky.

sd-6, true you are only human hence the mistake. Please start a new life & take care of your child. I hope you have learnt your lesson. In future dont go after married men, because God forbids it. If you get a single man, you can marry him. But be careful, dont rush the marriage. Study your man before you marry him. It is important you know the father of your child. You owe it to the child to tell him who his father is, because there is no wishing it away, at the right time, he will ask you.

sd-6, true you are only human hence the mistake. Please start a new life & take care of your child. I hope you have learnt your lesson. In future dont go after married men, because God forbids it. If you get a single man, you can marry him. But be careful, dont rush the marriage. Study your man before you marry him. It is important you know the father of your child. You owe it to the child to tell him who his father is, because there is no wishing it away, at the right time, he will ask you.

...

Pls,I want 2 specially thank aisha2 4 her sisterly advice. Thank u also 4 encouragin me wit a similar story of ur friend. I believe I ll bounce back again if ur friend did so. Also,I want 2 thank those who criticised me objectively. Pls,I also need more advice! Thank u all.

sd-6:

Thank you radical. I knw dat I offended my husband but d fault is not entirely mine. My husband also have his blame too. He was not catering 4 me nd my unborn child. I saw hell durin my pregnancy nd d memory ll remain evergreen nd if not for God nd my lover,I wud hav died durin my son's delivery. I ve 4given my husband 4 his nonchalant attitudes but can neva 4get it. So d option of goin back 2 him can neva b considerd. My lover saw me throughout my pregnancy nd aftawards so fallin in luv wit him completely was natural. Rmber,he was there b4 d marriage nd cud even b d father of my son. But he startd being dis hot nd cold when he learnt of my cancellatn of my marriage afta his pleads 2 me nt 2 do so. Wat I need to knw is wheda I shud 4get abt my lover nd move ahead with my life or I shud stil b patient wit his hot nd cold nature. Aftall,evrybody makes mistakes. I ve come in terms with my mistakes. Pls,dont crucify me much,I'm only human. I need your brotherly advice on wat 2 do next. Thank u.

Didn't you just claim that you got another job in the same state where your lover resides which means you had a job before and was receiving an income?. Why must it be your ex-husband who will pay for catering you?. Just say that your wayward behind needs special prayers and control.

My sister, I really like your quest for advice on this issue. But please, endeavour to seek and heed to the best. There are times when we are faced with dicey situations in life (and this of course is one of yours). Our reactions to these situations will have a lot of effects/results on us. Some of these results could be immediate, while others would be eternal (and would be faced on the judgment day). FOR EVERY ACTIONS AND REACTIONS WE TAKE, WE MUST BE READY TO DEAL WITH THEIR CONSEQUENCES IN THIS WORLD AND MOST ESPECIALLY, IN THE WORLD TO COME. I am a Christian and will never advice you anything less.[b]The truth is that you know that what your flesh is telling you to do is WRONG but there is a small voice that is telling you not to do it. You might be looking for more human support justify doing the wrong thing, but I bet you that it pays to listen to that still small voice of calm.
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An advice based on GOD's perspective would seem very difficult to do but it is usually the only way.

I BEG OF YOU DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HUSBAND. SATAN WILL ONLY PRESENT THE BAD CHOICE TO US AND WHEN WE TAKE IT, WE DEAL WITH CONSEQUENCES ALONE. ACCEPT JESUS TODAY AND ASK HIM TO HEAL YOUR MARRIAGE.

It could be dark now
But faith never sees darkness
Even the darkest night is close to the day
Don't be discouraged my friend, my friend never lose your faith
Hold-on, trust-on GOD will never fail you

This is the time you need JESUS into you life to pilot it for you. HE loves and cares for you more than you can imagine. Remember, GOD HATES DIVORCE.

Though you have suffered in the hands of your husband earlier, remember that satan always fights marriages. We should learn forgiveness. If you say that you have not sinned, cast a stone at you husband.

Our Father, which at in heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Thy will be done on earth
As is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgave those that trespassed against us

See Colossians 3:12-15, Matt 19: 1-11, Matt18: 21- 35

Watch this film FIREPROOF

BE STRONG

Aloy_Emeka:

Didn't you just claim that you got another job in the same state where your lover resides which means you had a job before and was receiving an income?. Why must it be your ex-husband who will pay for catering you?. Just say that your wayward behind needs special prayers and control.

By your defination every job is a well paying job abi? Do you have any idea the kind of Jobs people take to keep body and soul together? Why will her husband not cater for her when she is pregnant? Before you Judge people, walk a mile in their shoes and see if you wont go bare footed. If she was happy with her situation she wont come here and cry for help.

...

chaircover:

@Aisha I understand what you are saying but your friends situation is different from this lady's situation

The husband never really stood a chance. He was the "second best" man even before he said I do.

The marriage was just probably to spite the lover or because she was pushed into it by society and family. She never wanted the husband, it was the lover that she wanted.

If she had really loved her husband from the get-go, she wouldn't have taken up the job in the lovers town and neither would she have continued seeing her lover AFTER her marriage

The husband's case is just like a man who people want to burn and then he goes and rubs fuel on his body. Of course his sins are 100% magnified because there was no love in the first instance.

In an ideal situation, if a husband isn't playing his duty right, do you not run to your parents or his parents first. How can a lover be her next point of call.

She said it herself that she doesn't know the father of her child. Maybe the husband knows that too and that is why he didn't get too involved with the pregnancy and birth.

I am sure, if the husband were to come on here and tell his side of the story, eyes will roll.

Bottom-line, the lover only wanted an affair and not a long term relationship with the poster so she has to re arrange her life without him.

What is bad is bad . . . . no two names for it.

You are probably right. However, she needs help not judgement, what she did was wrong but she has come to get adivce on how to move on. Its not as easy as people think. Some people have a straight forward smooth life, some dont

if the lover is currently very lukewarm about the affair then i doubt the lady has as many choices as she thinks she does.

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chaircover:

True Aisha and I am in no position to judge anyone. I am just trying to explain things to the poster.

If I read and understood the post correctly, the advise the poster is looking for is on how to stop her lover from being hot and cold. She has made it quite clear that she doesn't want to return to her husband.

I dont know what to suggest in respect of trying to smooth issues out with her married lover, the only thing I can do is to try and make her look at other options available to her & I advised her like I would a sister. Who be me sef to judge.

My Sister you are blessed among women. I also adviced her to forget them both and build a worthy life for her sself and her son

sd-6:

Pls,I need a help. I was married 2yrs ago and had a son. Be4 d marriage I was involvd in an affair wit a married man. I got a job in another state distant 4rm where my husband lives but where my lover stays so we continued 4rm where we stoppd. I later fell in luv wit him completely at d detriment of my marriage dat I had 2 cancel my marriage wit my husband. Eventually,I tot dat will smoothen my affair wit my new lover but he startd being hot nd cold. One moment in love nd other time very cold to me. I'm so confusd,wat shud I do. I luv my new lover very much and dont hav any feelings 4 my husband anymore,not ever will I want 2 go back 2 my husband. Pls,advice me properly on wat next 2 do.

That's your karma sister . . . deal with it!

, and you will hang by the neck until you are confirmed dead,

^^i suggest you consider the manner of your own death instead of throwing empty phrases in the air.


or are you immortal?

some people never fail to amaze me with their idiocy.

I AM SORRY BUT YOU NEED TO GROW UP. You were sleeping with a married man and as if that is not enough you decided to cheat on your husband. You obviously do not value marriage. I find it hard to feel compassion for you. You want us to advice you on how to keep another woman's husband?? Sorry but not me

sd-6:

Pls,I need a help. I was married 2yrs ago and had a son. Be4 d marriage I was involvd in an affair wit a married man. I got a job in another state distant 4rm where my husband lives but where my lover stays so we continued 4rm where we stoppd. I later fell in luv wit him completely at d detriment of my marriage dat I had 2 cancel my marriage wit my husband. Eventually,I tot dat will smoothen my affair wit my new lover but he startd being hot nd cold. One moment in love nd other time very cold to me. I'm so confusd,wat shud I do. I luv my new lover very much and dont hav any feelings 4 my husband anymore,not ever will I want 2 go back 2 my husband. Pls,advice me properly on wat next 2 do.

Grow up and stop pretending like you luv anyone. In-fact you don't even luv urself seriously, marriage is abt love, care, loyalty, honesty, integrity, sacrifice etc.
You are the opposite of all that in your marriage and want some other guy to treat you better sorry woman but what goes around comes around.

I have a message 4 those criticizing subjectively,pray that u neva find urself in my shoes. In life,plenty shit nd nonsense happens,d gud nd d bad works alongside. Many people ve done even worse than me. Pls, I am not justifying my actions,but let he/she without a sin b d first 2 cast a stone on me. U no holy pass me my bros nd sis. I brought my story here 4 candid advice nd nt 4 mouth rollers,if u dont ve anytin gud 2 say beta shut up. My story shows that I want 2 showcase one of d bitter realities of life. Dat I'm bold to say it shows most of d realities in our home videos(naija movies). Such is life.

@ poster damage done obviously you never want to be with hubby again,move on forget the married man he does not want to be in your confused situation of not wanting his wife.yourself you said an affair that is what it is.

Everybody makes mistakes,some are more grave than others thats life.just be strong and move on also avoid married men in future.

sd-6:

I have a message 4 those criticizing subjectively,pray that u neva find urself in my shoes. In life,plenty poo nd nonsense happens,d gud nd d bad works alongside. Many people ve done even worse than me. Pls, I am not justifying my actions,but let he/she without a sin b d first 2 cast a stone on me. U no holy pass me my bros nd sis. I brought my story here 4 candid advice nd nt 4 mouth rollers,if u dont ve anytin gud 2 say beta shut up. My story shows that I want 2 showcase one of d bitter realities of life. Dat I'm bold to say it shows most of d realities in our home videos(naija movies). Such is life.

sweetheart, it's a simple matter of closing your legs.

no need to get sensitive- that stage passed long ago.

wishing you the best in your acceptable endeavours.

sd-6:

I have a message 4 those criticizing subjectively,pray that u neva find urself in my shoes. In life,plenty poo nd nonsense happens,d gud nd d bad works alongside. Many people ve done even worse than me. Pls, I am not justifying my actions,but let he/she without a sin b d first 2 cast a stone on me. U no holy pass me my bros nd sis. I brought my story here 4 candid advice nd nt 4 mouth rollers,if u dont ve anytin gud 2 say beta shut up. My story shows that I want 2 showcase one of d bitter realities of life. Dat I'm bold to say it shows most of d realities in our home videos(naija movies). Such is life.

Stop fighting with people, you asked for advice pple have adviced you, take the advice and move on. Lamenting and living in self pity wont get u anywhere

I would love to help by advising but really, Judgement is all I got. So I get to keep my mouth shut this time.