Fellow Nairalander, I need your matured advice, criticism also welcome as usual. My wife hate it anytime I talk about us to my family but she can discuss anything with her mother about us. Recently, I beg my father to help me ask her what am doing wrong (tho I shed d reason from my dad)so I can improve on our relationship due to d fact that all my efforts to let her talk proved abortive. Since then she has being cursing my parents calling them different names that dey want to destroy our family. She tell her mother everything. Anything that come from my side is wrong while everything from her is best. Am thinking to call our parents (both mine n hers) and discuss with them bc I can bear anything but not to be cursing my parents. I knw dat wl hurt her. Pls I need ur advice.I have called her parents attentions abt 2 times but dey didn't do anything, she even come back home nntell me that did I think dey wl beat her.

U dont hv problem

EteBabaagba222:
Fellow Nairalander, I need your matured advice, criticism also welcome as usual. My wife hate it anytime I talk about us to my family but she can discuss anything with her mother about us. Recently, I beg my father to help me ask her what am doing wrong (tho I shed d reason from my dad)so I can improve on our relationship due to d fact that all my efforts to let her talk proved abortive. Since then she has being cursing my parents calling them different names that dey want to destroy our family. She tell her mother everything. Anything that come from my side is wrong while everything from her is best. Am thinking to call our parents (both mine n hers) and discuss with them bc I can bear anything but not to be cursing my parents. I knw dat wl hurt her. Pls I need ur advice.I have called her parents attentions abt 2 times but dey didn't do anything, she even come back home nntell me that did I think dey wl beat her.

Here is what to do.

Stop eating her food.
Stop talking with her
Try hard to show a face that has no emotions
Show joy and play with friends, neighbors and the kids but not her
Provide for her but don't be there for her

Guess what, SHE WILL BREAK.

She will report you to her mum, don't bother talking to her until you get both parents from both sides to meet with you & your wife physically.

When you speak in the meeting, you will be heard and feared and she will see a different side of you and adjust.

Treating people nicely is why they take advantage of you, save your marriage by refusing to allow bad traits in your home.

It is practical advice I give you. If you try to reason with your wife, you will be debasing yourself and she will have the upper hand.

Jah bless.

I don't want to say she needs default settings.

But i am happy for you, sitting back and watching her disrespect and disregard your parents in your presence.

You are a very wise man o.

why are u so quick to call a third party?
My honest opinion: What your Marriage lacks is Mutual Respect. I am of the opinion that your wife thinks that you are a weak Man. You actually don't see anything wrong with involving parents or any other third party instead of addressing your home as the head of the house that you are.
Very bad!
The people that you are always runing to call, is it that they never have issues? or was this how they involved their own parents too?
I know why you are justifying involving your parents... it's because she involves her mom right? very lousy reason for you to do the same if you truly are a man. If we ask your wife if she insulted your parents now she would deny anyways dat one na another mata.
Boss, you marriage would have lesser problems if you leave the 3rd party out of it. Iron things out amicably between yourselves without any external interference, and if you attempt to seek for external help never make her find out.

Well some couples dey try o, me I can't insult my spouse family and I don't think I will ever allow her to do same to me. In everything we do, whether in disagreement we must find a middle ground. I can not be America and my wife iran. If na so we go, go on break until everyone knows their place. Bros you need to take your stand, what you are asking for is not too much

If she curses your parents, curse her own back too.

If she is rude to your parents, be rude to her own too.

Don't ever let anyone drag your parents on the ground all in the name of marriage.

Next time she open her mouth to insult your family, tie her mouth with a cloth. Remind her she is now one of your family member by accepting to marry you.
But why are you both discussing una family matters outside, you can talk about USA and Iran. Even I don't like it

You both need some space.. Marriage could be tiring sometimes

ZiriMane:
why are u so quick to call a third party?
My honest opinion is dat I feel she thinks you are a weak Man that doesn't see anything wrong with involving his parents or any other third party instead of addressing his home as the head of the house that you are.
The people that you are always wanting to call is that they never had issues or was this how they involved their own parents too?
I know why you are justifying involving your parents... it's because she involves her mom right? very lousy reason for you to do the same if you truly are a man. If we ask your wife if she insulted your parents now she would deny.
Boss, you marriage would have lesser problems if you leave the 3rd party out of it. Iron things out amicably between yourselves without any external interference and if you attempt to seek for external help never make her find out.

I understand your points but I do involve 3rd party after I have try reason wt her. She's d type that everything she do is write. I can't remember when she apologized last.

Ladylite:


Here is what to do.

Stop eating her food.
Stop talking with her
Try hard to show a face that has no emotions
Show joy and play with friends, neighbors and the kids but not her
Provide for her but don't be there for her

Guess what, SHE WILL BREAK.

She will report you to her mum, don't bother talking to her until you get both parents from both sides to meet with you & your wife physically.

When you speak in the meeting, you will be heard and feared and she will see a different side of you and adjust.

Treating people nicely is why they take advantage of you, save your marriage by refusing to allow bad traits in your home.

It is practical advice I give you. If you try to reason with your wife, you will be debasing yourself and she will have the upper hand.

Jah bless.

I don dey think in dat direction also. But pple will still blame men that why did I keep silent.

EteBabaagba222:
I understand your points but I do involve 3rd party after I have try reason wt her. She's d type that everything she do is write. I can't remember when she apologized last.

my opinion, don't involve them again openly. You can seek for their help or advice discreetly and jointly make agreements with your wife that would cater for the home.
I think both of you would need to seek professional help cos from your write-up both of ur minds want the union to work. A professional help would be trusted by you both instead of the family that she is wary about.The Professional help could be a counsellor, psychologist or revered religious leader. Always be the Man, create the aura of manliness around her don't be conformed by her wit don't be soft and neither should you be too hard. Take charge of your home by dictating with love

Why in the hell would she curse your parents... Abi o ri e o kpe ni... Don't beg her jare... Just give her some space... What she is fussing about doesn't even make sense...

ZiriMane:

my opinion, don't involve them again openly. You can seek for their help or advice discreetly and jointly make agreements with your wife that would cater for the home.
I think both of you would need to seek professional help cos from your write-up both of ur minds want the union to work. A professional help would be trusted by you both instead of the family that she is wary about.The Professional help could be a counsellor, psychologist or revered religious leader. Always be the Man, crate the aura of manliness around her don't be conformed by her wit don't be soft and neither should you be too hard. Take charge of your home by dictating with love

Two times I have mentioned dis. (Professional help). But she will neva agree. I knw am not perfect but some matters I quiet knw she is wrong. I knw wan go deep but let me giv u 1. Some1 come to borrow her rapper. (Ofin) I told her not to giv to d woman. 3rd day d woman return d cloth n.a. me dey home. When she returned I show her d cloth n asked Y did u giv her? Sort of words but no apologize.

EteBabaagba222:
Fellow Nairalander, I need your matured advice, criticism also welcome as usual. My wife hate it anytime I talk about us to my family but she can discuss anything with her mother about us. Recently, I beg my father to help me ask her what am doing wrong (tho I shed d reason from my dad)so I can improve on our relationship due to d fact that all my efforts to let her talk proved abortive. Since then she has being cursing my parents calling them different names that dey want to destroy our family. She tell her mother everything. Anything that come from my side is wrong while everything from her is best. Am thinking to call our parents (both mine n hers) and discuss with them bc I can bear anything but not to be cursing my parents. I knw dat wl hurt her. Pls I need ur advice.I have called her parents attentions abt 2 times but dey didn't do anything, she even come back home nntell me that did I think dey wl beat her.

you are a wasted sperm,feel like resetting your brain. Pray and beg your parents because you are under a curse indirectly for allowing that woman you called wife to abuse your parents.

EteBabaagba222:
I understand your points but I do involve 3rd party after I have try reason wt her. She's d type that everything she do is write. I can't remember when she apologized last.

having a third part works if both of you agree on the person to be involved

why can you both sit down and try to be different in trying to solve your misunderstanding yourself

the moment you start reporting each other of the negatives, those people will only see the negative only, therefore its not healthy

Learn to solve your own issues or learn to understand that we you disagreeing and than forcing someone to agree

remember the phrase "AGREE TO DISAGREE" it basically means realising that you can not agree therefore 1st acknowledge to each other that you can not agree 2 either leave the issue at that moment and give each other time to reflect each others view on the subject 3 try to find a different approach than the one you used before

See things this way "does your own mum and daddy report each other to their respective parents?" am sure the answer is no it means they found ways to solves problems without reporting each other

EteBabaagba222:

Two times I have mentioned dis. (Professional help). But she will neva agree. I knw am not perfect but some matters I quiet knw she is wrong. I knw wan go deep but let me giv u 1. Some1 come to borrow her rapper. (Ofin) I told her not to giv to d woman. 3rd day d woman return d cloth n.a. me dey home. When she returned I show her d cloth n asked Y did u giv her? Sort of words but no apologize.

Oga, don't get offended if she doesn't apologise or sees reasons to do so. After all apology no be food, even though it would go a long way in the reconciliation process. Anyways, when you give her instructions make her understand the reasons you are giving/making them. OP I feel ur home is lacking fun and void of spice. Initiate more fun filled encounters instead of dispute resolution ones. Be the Man!