I'm Back With Another Wahala.... Please I Need Your Input... - Family - Nairaland
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I'm Back To Nigeria. See What My Uncle Sent To Me / See Me See Wahala. Please What Did I Do Wrong Here? / I Need Your Input (2) (3) (4)
| I'm Back With Another Wahala.... Please I Need Your Input... by bryanarchie: 8:51pm On Jan 15, 2020 |
my father-in-law passed away early this year and the burial ceremony has been programme d for next weekend. my history with my in laws has not been smooth sailing, in fact the last episode was really bad. during this whole burial preparation we've all been cordial but the big issue is my accommodation during the burial period. I'm okay going to stay in the family house but my husband is currently not too comfortable with it. he initially said I should stay with my aunty who lives in the same city but my aunts house is quite far with lots of traffic... I'm suggesting I manage the family house like that or get s hotel room close by but my issue is that I don't want it to portray I'm proud or avoiding them. I also know my husband won't stand by me, if I'm being crucified for getting s hotel room... |
| Re: I'm Back With Another Wahala.... Please I Need Your Input... by bryanarchie: 8:54pm On Jan 15, 2020 |
in fact, I wanted to go s week ahead but he said no that it should just be 2 days... |
| Re: I'm Back With Another Wahala.... Please I Need Your Input... by EkelediliBuhari: 8:55pm On Jan 15, 2020 |
OK. What's the question exactly...?? |
| Re: I'm Back With Another Wahala.... Please I Need Your Input... by bryanarchie: 8:57pm On Jan 15, 2020 |
EkelediliBuhari: wif I get a hotel room close to the family house will it portray pride or is it okay... |
| Re: I'm Back With Another Wahala.... Please I Need Your Input... by bryanarchie: 8:58pm On Jan 15, 2020 |
his is like s new beginning,
and I don't want to be misjudged... |
| Re: I'm Back With Another Wahala.... Please I Need Your Input... by EkelediliBuhari: 9:04pm On Jan 15, 2020 |
bryanarchie: Sometimes, you have to face your problems... Stay with them, manage where ever you find. How much can a few days hurt.... Lodging can be misjudged as being high minded, or avoidance... 3 Likes |
| Re: I'm Back With Another Wahala.... Please I Need Your Input... by bryanarchie: 9:08pm On Jan 15, 2020 |
EkelediliBuhari: I'm thinking of telling him i'll stay at the family house and if he says no, I'll call his mother to inform her of his decision... what do you think 1 Like |
| Re: I'm Back With Another Wahala.... Please I Need Your Input... by EkelediliBuhari: 9:14pm On Jan 15, 2020 |
bryanarchie: Never pot mother against son, or make it look so... Rather call the mom first, tell her you're coming. Then tell the son you spoke with mom o, that you look forward to seeing her at the family house... Wives are the pivot in the family. You are meant to create balance. 7 Likes |
| Re: I'm Back With Another Wahala.... Please I Need Your Input... by Oblongata: 9:15pm On Jan 15, 2020 |
My sister, get an hotel...simple! You want to put yourself on hotseat? Make dem Dey say na you kee dia papa, because money wey him pikin suppose use treat him papa, say na you Dey chop am! Nothing you fit to do wey go right for dem eyes, even if you wash the floor, dem go say na eye service. Why not save yourself stress, and jeje go hotel, anything wey dem talk, u no go kuku hear. Do your part and japa after 2days... Husband wey sabi him family and know wetin fit to happen been tell you say go hotel, you wan Dey form the girl is good ko? That last episode no go reach wetin you wan go face, kontinu shogbo? A word is enough for the wise 5 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I'm Back With Another Wahala.... Please I Need Your Input... by delishpot: 9:15pm On Jan 15, 2020 |
If its For just 2 days stay at the family house. Since it might be all hands on deck for the preparation. |
| Re: I'm Back With Another Wahala.... Please I Need Your Input... by bryanarchie: 9:17pm On Jan 15, 2020 |
EkelediliBuhari: okay....thank you |
| Re: I'm Back With Another Wahala.... Please I Need Your Input... by bryanarchie: 9:18pm On Jan 15, 2020 |
Oblongata:hmmmmmmmmn |
| Re: I'm Back With Another Wahala.... Please I Need Your Input... by bryanarchie: 9:19pm On Jan 15, 2020 |
delishpot:I'll be going on Wednesday to leave on Monday... |
| Re: I'm Back With Another Wahala.... Please I Need Your Input... by Themarkethere: 9:19pm On Jan 15, 2020 |
Because your husband who just came from there is still not comfortable with you staying with them for two days, then he probably knows much before things end up getting messy. I would say book an hotel then go from there but tell them you came from your aunty's. If they didn't receive you well stay till evening and tell them you didn't tell your aunty you would be staying back then go to the hotel and go back the following day. But if they recieve you well join them in the preparation till next day and forfeit your hotel money meaning you have to pay for a day first. Also carry only a bag containing what you may need if you have to sleep over. 5 Likes |
| Re: I'm Back With Another Wahala.... Please I Need Your Input... by crackkhaus: 9:22pm On Jan 15, 2020 |
During my paternal grandmother's burial, I opted for a hotel instead of staying at my father's house or any of his brothers' houses in our hometown.. It was just to avoid the usual chaos of a funeral atmosphere, I like my quiet. Of course, this didn't go down too well with some busybodies and although none of my uncles directly talked about it with me, I could sense their displeasure. My father didn't mind though, he knows his son very well. I would have suggested you do the same thing, but there's a huge difference in our situations. - you are a wife attending the burial of your husband's father. Under no circumstance should you stay separately from him during the period of this burial, UNLESS there is an issue of available space...and in which case, there still should not be separation between you two. Your husband should stay in the same place he expects you to stay. 5 Likes |
| Re: I'm Back With Another Wahala.... Please I Need Your Input... by Themarkethere: 9:23pm On Jan 15, 2020 |
bryanarchie:Don't try this, if they still haven't accepted you, their son would never share in your blame. 1 Like |
| Re: I'm Back With Another Wahala.... Please I Need Your Input... by bryanarchie: 9:28pm On Jan 15, 2020 |
Themarkethere: he did not expressly tell not stsy in the family house, he just said it might be crowded and it's not conducive... my worry is if I'm misjudged or crucified, he won't sdy he discouraged me from staying there.... the his mother has been really cordial, sending my own asoebi down to my own state of residence... 1 Like |
| Re: I'm Back With Another Wahala.... Please I Need Your Input... by bryanarchie: 9:30pm On Jan 15, 2020 |
Themarkethere: |
| Re: I'm Back With Another Wahala.... Please I Need Your Input... by PrimadonnaO(f): 10:38pm On Jan 17, 2020 |
bryanarchie: What's the issue with your inlaws exactly? They don't like you? 1 Like |
| Re: I'm Back With Another Wahala.... Please I Need Your Input... by delishpot: 10:55pm On Jan 17, 2020 |
bryanarchie: My dear sis, let your husband be the one to tell them you guys will stay in a hotel. Feel free to stay at the hotel but go as early as is acceptable to assist the family in the preparation. Be respectful and cordial with the in laws. Las Las who want talk go talk whether you sleep in the family house or not. Do your best and due diligence and leave with a clean heart. |
| Re: I'm Back With Another Wahala.... Please I Need Your Input... by nlPoster: 11:15pm On Jan 17, 2020 |
Right after I mentioned every thing must not be on nairaland. . . . . btw did you give updates on your other thread here where you said you're not with your husband: https://www.nairaland.com/4966258/childs-welfare..we-need-advice just saw this in your post history. |
| Re: I'm Back With Another Wahala.... Please I Need Your Input... by nlPoster: 11:16pm On Jan 17, 2020 |
bryanarchie: |
| Re: I'm Back With Another Wahala.... Please I Need Your Input... by eyinjuege: 11:33pm On Jan 17, 2020 |
bryanarchie: Stay there with them till the end of the whole ceremony. .Join dem in adding maggi when they're cooking or whatever you see them doing there. It's just for a few days 1 Like |
| Re: I'm Back With Another Wahala.... Please I Need Your Input... by Nobody: 11:44pm On Jan 17, 2020 |
Why will u book a hotel? It's just 2 days. Even if its crowded. It should be crowded obviously. Anywhere u see space, sleep there. I tell you, u will earn the respect of your husband more and yes, even if the family isn't in good terms with, u have extended an olive branch unknowingly. U are there for your husband and because of him and the dead man, you must maintain your cool and do what is expected of you. It might be a new beginning for new things. Be positive. |
| Re: I'm Back With Another Wahala.... Please I Need Your Input... by Nobody: 11:47pm On Jan 17, 2020 |
eyinjuege:Exactly. 1 Like |
| Re: I'm Back With Another Wahala.... Please I Need Your Input... by rain21(f): 11:57pm On Jan 17, 2020 |
please stay with them, it's just a matter of days and the ceremony will be over.if they hear that you stayed in a hotel they will likely misinterpret the whole thing which might create more problems for you in future |
| Re: I'm Back With Another Wahala.... Please I Need Your Input... by boldx(m): 1:08am On Jan 18, 2020 |
Bryanarchie, I have been following your posts right from December 2019. If you stay in the family house, disappear immediately the burial is over cos you may be the subject of discussion when the event is over. Meanwhile, if you decide to stay in the family house, ensure you mind what you say on controversial discussions during the burial cos one of your sister/brother in-laws may tear you apart if any quarrel starts. |
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