₦airaland Forum

PrincessJoyy:
Good day Nairalanders, pls I need your urgent advice on my present predicament. It is going to be a long read so pls be patient with me.
Been married for 11 years now and it was love at the beginning. My husband has been loving and caring but after some years the romance began to dwindle and the love I had for my husband began to drop. I complained to him but he came up with the excuses that he had so much in mind especially catering for the family. It continued that way till my love tank for him became empty so to speak. December last year something happened, my husband came to me in the night asking for my forgiveness for not showing me the much desired attention and care that I deserved that we should let the past slide to begin afresh, then we started dating again, taking me out and the joy and happiness that once eluded me was restored. He however, kept tabs on my conversation and chats with a childhood male friend without my knowledge and what he deduced is we still have feelings for each other and our chats was full of regrets for not marrying each other and we called each other first love. He confronted me with his findings which I initially denied till he brought facts. I never had intimacy with this said guy which my husband knows being that my husband is the one that deflowered me. We ironed it out and settled the issue. My husband expected me to end whatever it was with the guy though he didn't say so directly. My chats and calls with this guy continued without my husbands knowledge, until last night when my husband asked me what I have with this guy, I told him nothing. He said I should choose between him and the guy. I should severe/cut all ties with this guy if I choose to be with him, so I asked why, he said no arguments that I should do what he asked me to do. After much talk, I discovered he saw my chats with the guy (the one I forgot to delete). I got angry at him for monitoring me and told him in annoyance to take his phone (he bought it for me) and give me the sim, which he quietly did but refused to give me the sims. I dragged with him but he overpowered me, I also tried to seize his phone but failed he even threatened to vacate the house for me at that ungodly hour if I continue with my madness. After a while, I apologized to him, he accepted the apology but refused to give me the phone. I am using my laptop to send this. How do I handle the situation for peace to reign. I don't know what he feels about me now. Sorry for the long write up. NB I told him in annoyance that he is monitoring my chats because he bought the phone for me that I'll buy mine and he said not in his house that I shouldn't dare

just pack out and go marry your friend. A foolish woman breaks her home with her own hands.

You're a married woman. Act like it!

Too many hoe stories on NL , aunty want to join the train of broken home because she cant stop fantasizing about an old bf , it making her see her husband as the the one blocking her from doing whatever, hence the attitude

PrincessJoyy:
Good day Nairalanders, pls I need your urgent advice on my present predicament. It is going to be a long read so pls be patient with me.
Been married for 11 years now and it was love at the beginning. My husband has been loving and caring but after some years the romance began to dwindle and the love I had for my husband began to drop. I complained to him but he came up with the excuses that he had so much in mind especially catering for the family. It continued that way till my love tank for him became empty so to speak. December last year something happened, my husband came to me in the night asking for my forgiveness for not showing me the much desired attention and care that I deserved that we should let the past slide to begin afresh, then we started dating again, taking me out and the joy and happiness that once eluded me was restored. He however, kept tabs on my conversation and chats with a childhood male friend without my knowledge and what he deduced is we still have feelings for each other and our chats was full of regrets for not marrying each other and we called each other first love. He confronted me with his findings which I initially denied till he brought facts. I never had intimacy with this said guy which my husband knows being that my husband is the one that deflowered me. We ironed it out and settled the issue. My husband expected me to end whatever it was with the guy though he didn't say so directly. My chats and calls with this guy continued without my husbands knowledge, until last night when my husband asked me what I have with this guy, I told him nothing. He said I should choose between him and the guy. I should severe/cut all ties with this guy if I choose to be with him, so I asked why, he said no arguments that I should do what he asked me to do. After much talk, I discovered he saw my chats with the guy (the one I forgot to delete). I got angry at him for monitoring me and told him in annoyance to take his phone (he bought it for me) and give me the sim, which he quietly did but refused to give me the sims. I dragged with him but he overpowered me, I also tried to seize his phone but failed he even threatened to vacate the house for me at that ungodly hour if I continue with my madness. After a while, I apologized to him, he accepted the apology but refused to give me the phone. I am using my laptop to send this. How do I handle the situation for peace to reign. I don't know what he feels about me now. Sorry for the long write up. NB I told him in annoyance that he is monitoring my chats because he bought the phone for me that I'll buy mine and he said not in his house that I shouldn't dare

How can u possibly be asking if ur husband suspect u when u already know d answer to that?

Proverbs 14:1
A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.

From the Bible verse up there which category do u think u fall into?, am sure ur guess is as good as mine.

It is not every woman that can be a wife but every wife can be a woman.
W- wisdom
I- Intelligent
F - Fear of God
E- Endurance

Wisdom ought to have let u know that ur ex is an enemy to ur marriage and a time bomb that would separate u from ur husband. Wisdom should have told u that men hate seeing anything between their girlfriend (how much more a wife) and their ex. What do u think would be d reaction of ur ex wife or girlfriend if she sees d chat between u and her man? That ur ex is nothing but an enemy to ur marriage who has crossed his boundary.
Madam if u have d fear of God u would have cut ties with ur ex immediately u are married. Why d hell are you still communicating with him? Resist d devil and he shall flee but in ur own case u are inviting d devil.
Trust me madam, ur husband is even patient if I were to be d one u would have packed to meet that ur ex.

Focus on your marriage and forget this useless feelings,love is more than feelings..this feelings will destroy your marriage,give this emotions to your husband instead and watch your love with him grow with time..That u did not end with your ex means you were not meant to be together,allow it to be past,burried and forgotten..

She doesn’t even feel remorse.

What is wrong with this woman? Please! What is wrong with you?

If you’re not careful, pant go comot for your yansh. Next thing, you would have gone too far.

Then you’d be begging for forgiveness even though your heart is no longer in the union. You just want to ruin your husband.

Better give yourself brain.


I can see that our resident Feminazis have avoided this thread.

I want to insult the hell out of u initially but i discovered the sane people in this platform have already done dat.....uar a fool,cow,home breaker after 11 years,still call a dick even after uar been warned!.
u better call ur parents dat uar coming over because if na me,u dae go do i.t with ur parents 4 6months.

farady:
So what is difficult in severing ties with your childhood friend eh, madam? You even delete the chats - meaning the chats are not what the eyes can see, bah? Madam, please respect your husband, biko. Your closest friend should be your husband and that your childhood closest friend should be his wife period.

If you truly meant well, if both you and your childhood friend reside in the same city or town, you can invite him and his family for lunch to foster mutual friendship, so that your husband and him get along, with the ladies doing their thing. If both of you live in different towns and you want to connect, you simply call in the presence of your husband, talking with his wife, give the phone to your husband to say 'hi' I am very sure that if you did this, there is no way your husband will harbour things in his mind concerning your relationship with that guy.

For now, "it has spoil" Na damage control you go dey do now. You need to grow up, be responsible and act responsibly like a married woman of 11years. Stop being stubborn or else na you go still loose. Your husband seems to me like someone that has plan B, C, D..... up his sleeves. Be kiafu and take caution.

Too much sense no go kill you my brother....respect

Look woman, I don't think you understand the efficacy of what you do it is trite that in marriage they two must live together for better and worse. Your husband is very good person as I read from here, why not you too? This is why many people as advice ladies to be mature when they want to marry because of future fight like this. Young girls cannot handle it

After a whole 11 years of marriage, the devil now brings back your ex to tempt you, which he has succeeded in doing and you have already fallen and about to break your home because of it. Has 11 years not thought you anything about marriage? Has it not given you uncountable blessings? You have a man who's willing to make things work and you are almost doing the opposite.

It always starts from NOTHING to SOMETHING. Women are fond of this thing, crying foul when ur phone is checked. Meanwhile you won't respect your marital vows and not give him any reason whatsoever to do that and expect him to trust you.

Its only a person that has something to hide that is against people going through there phone.
If its nothing as you claimed, you will have no issues with your husband reading the chats. EVIL/SIN thrives in SECRECY.

For go that unwanted pleasure that ended in the past and focus on your beautiful home.

Whatever is still pulling you to that guy is called DESTRUCTION and not love, because love is about OTHERS and not YOURSELF.

APOLOGIZE to your husband with a repented attitude and not merely with words of your mouth.

You have a beautiful home, why SCATTER it by giving into TEMPTATIONS. I'm sure the guy in question won't marry you right now, he just wants what most men want

PrincessJoyy:
Good day Nairalanders, pls I need your urgent advice on my present predicament. It is going to be a long read so pls be patient with me.
Been married for 11 years now and it was love at the beginning. My husband has been loving and caring but after some years the romance began to dwindle and the love I had for my husband began to drop. I complained to him but he came up with the excuses that he had so much in mind especially catering for the family. It continued that way till my love tank for him became empty so to speak. December last year something happened, my husband came to me in the night asking for my forgiveness for not showing me the much desired attention and care that I deserved that we should let the past slide to begin afresh, then we started dating again, taking me out and the joy and happiness that once eluded me was restored. He however, kept tabs on my conversation and chats with a childhood male friend without my knowledge and what he deduced is we still have feelings for each other and our chats was full of regrets for not marrying each other and we called each other first love. He confronted me with his findings which I initially denied till he brought facts. I never had intimacy with this said guy which my husband knows being that my husband is the one that deflowered me. We ironed it out and settled the issue. My husband expected me to end whatever it was with the guy though he didn't say so directly. My chats and calls with this guy continued without my husbands knowledge, until last night when my husband asked me what I have with this guy, I told him nothing. He said I should choose between him and the guy. I should severe/cut all ties with this guy if I choose to be with him, so I asked why, he said no arguments that I should do what he asked me to do. After much talk, I discovered he saw my chats with the guy (the one I forgot to delete). I got angry at him for monitoring me and told him in annoyance to take his phone (he bought it for me) and give me the sim, which he quietly did but refused to give me the sims. I dragged with him but he overpowered me, I also tried to seize his phone but failed he even threatened to vacate the house for me at that ungodly hour if I continue with my madness. After a while, I apologized to him, he accepted the apology but refused to give me the phone. I am using my laptop to send this. How do I handle the situation for peace to reign. I don't know what he feels about me now. Sorry for the long write up. NB I told him in annoyance that he is monitoring my chats because he bought the phone for me that I'll buy mine and he said not in his house that I shouldn't dare

In proverbs 14 vs 1says: "IN WISDOM A WOMAN BUILD HER HOUSE AND IN HER STUPIDITY SHE DESTROYS IT WITH HER HAND" Why using your hand to destroy your marriage?

unbitchable:
The heart of a woman is Hoefully wicked

Rubbish man, the Bible said man not woman

Your husband is a Goodman.

Use your God given sense and ask for forgiveness.

You are wrong on all levels

You will soon mess up totally and be relegated to quarter to..

That your husband will soon have enough and he is already making plans should you not listen...you will regret the decisions you are making towards that innocent man and he is just looking at you..after 11 years

You need paractamol but remember you were warned...you carry your cross.

atfer 11 years??i bet you have even sex that guy...

If devil wan love you as he has won ur heart like that just give you HIV or One bad disease weh no go affect the innocent man make you deh use am enjoy life.

They dont come to such thread...

They have been won over to the dark side...Devils side..Even their mums are ashamed of them..I wish them well with their pitiable life.

AfroKnight:
She doesn’t even feel remorse.

What is wrong with this woman? Please! What is wrong with you?

If you’re not careful, pant go comot for your yansh. Next thing, you would have gone too far.

Then you’d be begging for forgiveness even though your heart is no longer in the union. You just want to ruin your husband.

Better give yourself brain.


I can see that our resident Feminazis have avoided this thread.

your marrage is not important to you. leave and go for your boyfriend my friend.....

see what you are even saying with your mount i will go buy my own.....

your viillage people are not involved in this your madness ooo.