Marriage: An Obligation or A Choice?

There is this subtle impression that people give you if they discover that you are still single at an age they
probably feel you should be married. They come across as though Marriage is not a choice, but a MUST.

Even without arguing, they will quote Genesis just to show you how Adam had a missing rib and how God later
told him and his wife to multiply and fill the earth. They will conclude that everyone who is a man has a missing
rib that must be found; and that everyone who is a woman is in possession of a man's missing rib that she must
return.

It is a common thing in Africa that once you get to a certain age the only thing people will be telling you at
home is to go and get married. And as a matter of concern, unsolicited prayers are said for you to be able to
find wife or husband. And when you go to church, there is a special way they pray for those who are not
married that will make you feel that to be single is a curse.
Dear friends, marriage is such a beautiful thing because through it a new family is created. And as a matter of
fact, family is something awesome.

But,

Not everyone actually wants to get married, and there is no crime in it. We must also understand that not
everyone that desires marriage will find a spouse, and it does not mean they are cursed. More still, not all those
who got married will stay married.
Let this reality sinks.

You see, because of the pressure to get married, people have ended up marrying their worst nightmares. To the
outside world, they are married and are blessed, but let them open their mouths to give you an idea of what
they are going through, you will ask them to leave the marriage.
Some of these people who are in terrible marriages cannot even tell anyone about it, not because they don't
want to, but because society is not open to listening to such.

Some ladies are successful in life, they have everything going for them, but because no man has proposed to
them yet, they do not see all the other blessings of God. The world has succeeded in making them feel that
they are useless without a man as husband.

Let us all understand that everyone came with their complete ribs. No woman is holding a rib of another man. It
is false to believe that the ribs of men are incomplete. The vast majority of people are born with 12 pairs of ribs,
for a total of 24, no matter their sex. The exception to this anatomy rule are people born with specific genetic
anomalies.

So when the Bible talked about Adam's rib been removed, you lose the deep meaning of the text once you
interpret it literally.
I have met married people that are very happy. I have met those whom all they wanted was to get married, but
when they finally did, it did not take long for the marriage to end.
I have an Aunty in her early 70s who is not married, I am sure she never planned to be unmarried, she is living
happily with my grandma.

All of us are made differently. Our destinies are different. Make good of your present situation by not allowing it
determine your happiness. Leave what the world are saying. Follow what God is saying.
As the Bible says in Matthew 19:12
"For there are different reasons why men cannot marry: some, because they were born that way; others,
because men made them that way; and others do not marry for the sake of the Kingdom of heaven. Let him
who can accept this teaching do so." (Good news translation).

Rev Fr Kelvin Ugwu MSP (Missionary of St Paul)
https://mobile.facebook.com/frkelvinugwu/
www.kelvinugwu.com

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