Hi NLanders, i ve been married to my wife for about six years now but my problem with her lies on my cousin we ve lived with for about three years. This girl (my Cousin) was in elementary 5 when she came but had to loose one year when she was registered in her new school but right now she is in jss2. My wife does not want to live her again cos she said she does not respect her and her siblings enough, i ve noticed that this complains intensifies whenever any of her sisters comes around. Of late, it has always been one fault or the other on the girl which i know are allegations to send the girl packing. She has gotten to the extent of blackmailing me of having intimacy.u.a.l relationships with my cousin because i do not beat her when she wants me to or scold her when she tells me to do that. How do i handle this cos if this girl goes, the home chores will be much for us to bear and will not send the right signal to my family cos this is the second person she is sending home in our six years marriage. I had advised her to get any of her relatives to stay with us instead of employing a househelp but she could not and that is how my cousin came to live with us. Now the girl will be going and the pressure will be on me cos i know my wife cannot cope with the chores at home alone and am a very busy person. I need your advices please

Let's say that that child is that of you and your wife, I'm sure that you two will be putting heads together to find a solution and teach her to respect people. Should the child be sent away because she belongs to somebody else and you two cannot train that child to do right.

Poster,
Yes you are the man of the house but caution must be saught in taking/enforcing some decisions.Choose one of your wife's happy moods to discuss the issue with her,let her know that your cousin's stay with you is beyond dispute,try and listen to her arguments(genuine or fake)assure her that you will talk sense into your cousin(you can even fake some genuine concern).
Try this and see what happens afterwards.

'/'/

Please be a man and take care of your responsibilities.
Quite a piece of work you married from your story.
Utterly ill-mannered and difficult personality to deal with.
You better send that relative packing before your wife kills her like we have read in all those stories coming out of Nigeria.
She sounds like a real biatch. . .over bearing and without any home-training or spirituality.
I hope you do not have children?
Just for their safety.

May God be with you bro. . . some one has sent this woman to kill ya.
This must be one of those tribes in Nigeria with extremely wicked women for wives who beat up, starve. maim and kill their househelps.
Dude. . .I wonder how you can even solicit SEXUAL favors from such a wicked and mean-spirited woman?

I would have sent her packing or left the house for her for sure.
You better flea for your life before this wicked woman poisons you or renders you impotent for life.
It is obvious this kind of woman is not capable of showing love. . .and she was not raised in a loving environment.
Sheeeeeeeeesh.

Oh boy, hau you waka wit dis kain woman?
A man's home should be his castle and fortress of peace for chrissakes.

@Poster
Please note that we are not supporting that you bring in relatives to live with you and your wife endlessly, it can get uncomfortable and make marriages hard through loss of privacy and other interventions, so avoid that too.

If the issue is strictly that of the maid of the house, that attitude of chasing out maid after maid does not tell well of a wife, those maids are the children of other people. If she take them like hers there shouldn't be much problem between them.

@ post try as much as possible not to take side with the girl when there is issues and also don't make ur wife feel u prefer ur sister to her and try to talk to ur sister to respect ur wife in that case tings will change

naija women and insecurity.

She is even insinuating that you are sleeping with her.

OP, No problem.

If she wants the girl to go let the girl go, But you wont get any househelp and all the house chores needs to be done by her.

Lets see how she copes.

Some women just like making trouble when none exists

Do these things actually happen in marriages for real?
Are men now too dumb or powerless to act as the leader of their household.
Any woman that tries all these rubbish with me is definitely getting ready to become single.
Marriage is so not a must but a privilege given to someone that truly deserves it.

Question is didn't your so called wife exhibit all these traits why y'all were still courting?
Why are you using your relative as a househelp anyways? If you want to help her then help don't go using your cousin as a househelp. That's just gross and shouldn't be encouraged

yeah it does when nigeria men make their marriage a sole business instead of a partnership that a marriage should be based on.

should have made a joint decision if to allow or not. not sure if the op did.

jay bee:

[b]Do these things actually happen in marriages for real?
Are men now too dumb or powerless to act as the leader of their household.[/b]Any woman that tries all these rubbish with me is definitely getting ready to become single.
Marriage is so not a must but a privilege given to someone that truly deserves it.

Question is didn't your so called wife exhibit all these traits why y'all were still courting?
Why are you using your relative as a househelp anyways? If you want to help her then help don't go using your cousin as a househelp. That's just gross and shouldn't be encouraged

na mortar i go take siddon for one head when him do like say him marry himself. me, myself and i marriage no work in today's worrld

Hauwa,

You aint talking about our marriage. ARe you?

IFELEKE:

Poster,
Yes you are the man of the house but caution must be saught in taking/enforcing some decisions.Choose one of your wife's happy moods to discuss the issue with her,let her know that your cousin's stay with you is beyond dispute,try and listen to her arguments(genuine or fake)assure her that you will talk sense into your cousin(you can even fake some genuine concern).
Try this and see what happens afterwards.

mi Amor why has thou forsaken me?
how u dey?

@post
that woman got issues, how could people be this troublesome
stand your ground as the man of the house and let her know if this attitude of her's continue's she would be the one packing
gosh i just don't understand some wome

dayokanu:

Hauwa,

You aint talking about our marriage. ARe you?

You can put that tongue to better use on specific areas of my body

'/'/