Am south african but dating with an igbo man in south africa where we are currently residing. Am now 5 months pregnant for him. Apparently now my cousins and their mother, my aunt are talking negatively about our relationship and pregnancy. I dont know if this is because I got pregnant for a nigerian or because am pregnant. Her kids have fallen pregnant in school but with me its a different case. Am done with my secondary school, i've already registered with a university for a civil engineering degree course. Its been a year since my parents passed away( they knew about my nigerian bf). My aunt is the only person I thought I had support from. With me she claims to care but they spread negative things about me... how can I see myself through with this situation?

They are jealous of your success. Do not mind them at all. You have a man who has accepted his baby and you are about to enter the university, what more can you ask for? Ask your Igbo husband the meaning of osondi owendi.

,

Tell them to go n die

Sanguine77:
They are jealous of your success. Do not mind them at all. You have a man who has accepted his baby and you are about to enter the university, what more can you ask for? Ask your Igbo husband the meaning of osondi owendi.

. Yes, osondi owendi

See yourself through this situation
trust God
believe yourself
stop paying attention to what people is saying about you
PAY MORE ATTENTION TO WHAT JEHOVAH, THE ALMIGHTY GOD is saying concerning you and your future.

Stop replying to all the questions that life throws at you (because you can't), at best, you will only get more confuse.


HAPPY DELIVERY!!!

You fell pregnant as a fresher in the University and expect people to cheer you on? You are definitely not serious. You lost your parents and instead of you to have common sense and face your studies, you were busy following one man. Are you even up to 18 years?

You've made your bed, now jejely go and lie on it.

I just hope you aren't pregnant for a married igbo man .

Phema:
You fell pregnant as a fresher in the University and expect people to cheer you on? You are definitely not serious. You lost your parents and instead of you to have common sense and face your studies, you were busy following one man. Are you even up to 18 years?

You've made your bed, now jejely go and lie on it.

this is just too harsh!
swear you didn't have unprotected sex in your first year.......there's nothing really wrong in getting pregnant at her age as long as the partner has accepted his responsibility. don't crucify her like she has committed murder.

leb0gang:
Am south african but dating with an igbo man in south africa where we are currently residing. Am now 5 months pregnant for him. Apparently now my cousins and their mother, my aunt are talking negatively about our relationship and pregnancy. I dont know if this is because I got pregnant for a nigerian or because am pregnant. Her kids have fallen pregnant in school but with me its a different case. Am done with my secondary school, i've already registered with a university for a civil engineering degree course. Its been a year since my parents passed away( they knew about my nigerian bf). My aunt is the only person I thought I had support from. With me she claims to care but they spread negative things about me... how can I see myself through with this situation?

why should you care about what people say about you. if you are a virgin as well, they will stay negative things about you - can you control what people with a high nuisance value have to say? pay no mind to such nonsense.

your health & that of your child is the most important thing now. get some money from your parents, go & do some serious grocery shopping. eat well, exercise well, take your drugs and ensure safe delivery.

coogar:

This is just too harsh!
swear you didn't have unprotected sex in your first year.......there's nothing really wrong in getting pregnant at her age as long as the partner has accepted his responsibility. don't crucify her like she has committed murder.

Harsh? Maybe, but I don't like it when young pregnant girls play the victim. She wasnt rap€d. She very well knew what an unprotected sex could lead to. If she couldn't handle it, she shouldn't have done it. She should brace up and handle the criticisms and all.

@bolded; I did. Reason I've four kids out of wedlock by four different fathers. Go figure

Phema:

Harsh? Maybe, but I don't like it when people in her shoes play the victim. She wasnt rap€d. She very well knew what an unprotected sex could lead to. If she couldn't handle it, she shouldn't have done it. She should brace up and handle the criticisms and all.

the deed is already done. negative criticism & gossip will not undo the pregnancy. if the negative vibe gets to her & she attempts abortion, you would criticise her too & even use the kingdom of hell to threaten her.

@bolded; I did. Reason I've four kids out of wedlock by different fathers

why ain't i surprised?
you have always looked like a feisty chic to me. phema-phema, obirin bi okunrin

coogar:

Why ain't i surprised?
you have always looked like a feisty chic to me. phema-phema, obirin bi okunrin

Yea yea, i'm feisty like that. Who knows, you might be one of them's father sef. You no get money, I for claim child support.

Phema:


Yea yea, i'm feisty like that. Who knows, you might be one of them's father sef. You no get money, I for claim child support.

if the paternity test agrees with your assertion, why not?

instead of you to cull the OP & tutor her about what lies ahead, you want to drive a mallam's dagger in her belly.

women - their own worst enemies.

Phema:
You fell pregnant as a fresher in the University and expect people to cheer you on? You are definitely not serious. You lost your parents and instead of you to have common sense and face your studies, you were busy following one man. Are you even up to 18 years?

You've made your bed, now jejely go and lie on it.

. You should learn to read and understand well. Even before I finished my secondary schooling I was with this man. That should tell u that I took gap years, not yet into university. I registered only this year for the following year. Reading all that should tell u dat I am older than 18.

leb0gang:
. You should learn to read and understand well. Even before I finished my secondary schooling I was with this man. That should tell u that I took gap years, not yet into university. I registered only this year for the following year. Reading all that should tell u dat I am older than 18.

Good! Then stop whining about people gossiping about you and take responsibility for your actions like the adult you claim to be.

Did I read you say you were with him even while in Secondary School? Huh? How does that make this any better?

Abeg, ignore me jare. Better people will soon come tell you what you want to hear.

If you are otherwise happy, look to your husband for the family you need until the family you have realise their errors. Simple. No time for aunty who wants to believe and spread lies; let her recognise her own time wasting.

beeevan:
I just hope you aren't pregnant for a married igbo man .

no beeevan his family would have told me. We've been having a close communication with his mother and siblings. So I would have known.

coogar:
If the paternity test agrees with your assertion, why not?

instead of you to cull the OP & tutor her about what lies ahead, you want to drive a mallam's dagger in her belly.

women - their own worst enemies.

You are doing a good job at that already. Will reserve my energy for better other things. You do know I've four children to care for. . .

Oya, Coogar, stop derailing.

Phema:


You are doing a good job at that already. Will reserve my energy for better other things. You do know I've four children to care for. . .

Oya, Coogar, stop derailing.

4 kids??
come - are you allergic to condoms?

Phema:


Good! Then stop whining about people gossiping about you and take responsibility for your actions like the adult you claim to be.

Did I read you say you were with him even while in Secondary School? Huh? How does that make this any better?

Abeg, ignore me jare. Better people will soon come tell you what you want to hear.

love has no age restrictions as long as the person u involved with has good intentions. U know in SA, having a relationship with a foreigner, more especially a nigerian, is very controversial. But I wasnt expecting her, my aunt, to act the way she did. Pretending to care and like my man whereas she doesnt. Anyway, my husband and I will be travelling together for the first time together up to ihioma village for our nigerian traditional marriage in december.

coogar:
4 kids??
come - are you allergic to condoms?

Yes. . . Sadly

Phema:


Yes. . . Sadly

wow!
anyways, what's done is done. make sure you attend the traditional wedding of leb0gang coming up in december.

make us(NLers) proud.

I wish you the best and happy married life
It will have been better you did this before you took in but i hope your man follows through

What u r are experiencin is a bit of culture clash

Here in naija, women out of high school dont get married like how it used to be 40 years back or how it was in the West then; hence the attack on your person

leb0gang:
love has no age restrictions as long as the person u involved with has good intentions. U know in SA, having a relationship with a foreigner, more especially a nigerian, is very controversial. But I wasnt expecting her, my aunt, to act the way she did. Pretending to care and like my man whereas she doesnt. Anyway, my husband and I will be travelling together for the first time together up to imo state for our nigerian traditional marriage in december.

U have better be 100 percent sure he isn't married. And jst so u knw, his family won't tell u jack! Since according to u, they gossip about ur pregnancy. Its obvious u are young and believe me, u rily have to be strong cos viewing one of ur stories here u said ur mother-in-law is said to have been bewitched.

Be happy people are gossiping about u cos if they aint, then u are a dead. Understood?

leb0gang:
love has no age restrictions as long as the person u involved with has good intentions. U know in SA, having a relationship with a foreigner, more especially a nigerian, is very controversial. But I wasnt expecting her, my aunt, to act the way she did. Pretending to care and like my man whereas she doesnt. Anyway, my husband and I will be travelling together for the first time together up to imo state for our nigerian traditional marriage in december.

Alright. I wouldn't say I agree/empathise with you, but i like the fact that you seem cool headed. I will just say; if you are sure of what you want or are doing, then you shouldn't let what any one says sway you.

Good luck babes.

U have better be 100 percent sure he isn't married. And jst so u knw, his family won't tell u jack! Since according to u, they gossip about ur pregnancy. Its obvious u are young and believe me, u rily have to be strong cos viewing one of ur stories here u said ur mother-in-law is said to have been bewitched.

Be happy people are gossiping about u cos if they aint, then u are Dead. Understood?

coogar:

wow!
anyways, what's done is done. make sure you attend the traditional wedding of leb0gang coming up in december.

make us(NLers) proud.

Lmao! Fool!

leb0gang:
Am south african but dating with an igbo man in south africa where we are currently residing. Am now 5 months pregnant for him. Apparently now my cousins and their mother, my aunt are talking negatively about our relationship and pregnancy. I dont know if this is because I got pregnant for a nigerian or because am pregnant. Her kids have fallen pregnant in school but with me its a different case. Am done with my secondary school, i've already registered with a university for a civil engineering degree course. Its been a year since my parents passed away( they knew about my nigerian bf). My aunt is the only person I thought I had support from. With me she claims to care but they spread negative things about me... how can I see myself through with this situation?

Lebogang,they are not gossiping about you because you are pregnant but because the pregnancy belongs to a nigerian....

You know,that in South Africa having a child out of wedlock is nothing,its happens a lot especially to young girls at the verge of going to university or tech.

Unless you live with them,pay no attention to what anybody says,rather focus on your education ....

The problem will be when you actually start school,who will babysit your child?you must be thinking about that and not anything else....

You are an orphan,and i know most South African who have babies,leave them with their mums to go and work or school.

Thanks for ur replies. I just needed to talk to someone, a stranger, coz now the only person I was close to betrayed me. Your views made me realise the pros n cons of my relationship and that of my aunt. I dont blame her, but would've expected her to handle the situation better. Otherwise I love nigerians. Yal people are different and lovable.

edwife:



Lebogang,they are not gossiping about you because you are pregnant but because the pregnancy belongs to a nigerian....

You know,that in South Africa having a child out of wedlock is nothing,its happens a lot especially to young girls at the verge of going to university or tech.

Unless you live with them,pay no attention to what anybody says,rather focus on your education ....

The problem will be when you actually start school,who will babysit your child?you must be thinking about that and not anything else....

You are an orphan,and i know most South African who have babies,leave them with their mums to go and work or school.

my sister has no children(infertile), she offered to babysit and later i'll take the child to a nursery school.

@ O.p, if my niece who is yet to be married gets pregnant for a man talkmore a foreigner do you expect me to pat her on the head and congratulate her...anyway I don't know the moral values of where you from but from where I come from...dem no dey look pre-marital pregnancy wt good eye...my advice is for you to develop a tougher skin and try and ignore them

leb0gang:
Thanks for ur replies. I just needed to talk to someone, a stranger, coz now the only person I was close to betrayed me. Your views made me realise the pros n cons of my relationship and that of my aunt. I dont blame her, but would've expected her to handle the situation better. Otherwise I love nigerians. Yal people are different and lovable.

Awwh, as someone wrote if you are happy then there is nothing to worry about. You live with your man and you are looking forward to finishing your education, I don't see anything wrong. People will criticise regardless, your little family's wellbeing should be your number 1 concern not what others are saying.